Posted in Personal Purchase

You’ll Be Sorry by Lisa Gardner 

The Dixon family house was once a crown jewel of the White Mountains. Perched on a cliff with breathtaking views, it promised summer adventures, winter skiing, and family gatherings around a roaring log fire.

Until late one August night, when both parents and their four children vanished, leaving behind a trail of bloody footprints, and a mystery that has endured for generations.

Thirty years later, the grand mansion is stirring back to life. For Raquel and Theo Collins, restoring their new home represents a fresh start after a terrible tragedy.

For Amanda Grady, the recently appointed police chief of Shereford, it’s good to see a fresh start for the derelict house. But a new family in the old home can only mean one thing: the past has returned with a vengeance.

When a stray dog arrives and discovers a skeleton on the property, Raquel and Theo face a daunting choice of what to believe, who to trust, and how to survive.

Because in the tiny village of Shereford the time has come. A town, a couple, a cop must all work together to unravel the terrifying events that happened one night thirty years ago, or…

They will all be sorry.

I love that even seven years into blogging about books I can still find authors I’ve never read before and this recommendation came from a fellow book reviewer. My first thought a few chapters in was that the writing had a feel of Stephen King with its small town setting, secrets and horrific things hidden in unexpected places. The remoteness of this community adds to the claustrophobic atmosphere, especially in the final chapters as a storm sets in and cuts them off from outside help with only Chief Grady to defend the residents. There’s also a theme of something malign passed down the generations, but is this an evil that human beings inflict on each other or is it something lurking around this town, something that never dies? The action is focused around a property known as the Dixon House, a house that stayed empty ever since the tragedy from a few decades ago. When Chief Mandy Grady was a little girl and her dad held the role of police chief, the six members of the Dixon family disappeared. It was a confusing scene with various footprints, some of them bloody and others from bare feet. The lack of DNA testing meant finding any answers to the mystery or identifying a possible suspect never happened. The house has since stood empty and has been the site of teenage meet-ups, graffiti art and wild animals taking shelter. Now though the house has new residents, interior designer Raquel and her husband Theo have taken it on as a project. They are an intrepid couple, happy to take risks and with the funds to remodel the home to their own needs. However, they have suffered a personal tragedy before arriving in Maine and when they find an unexpected feature in their grounds with horrifying contents Chief Grady starts to question. Will they still be able to enjoy their new remote lifestyle and settle into Shereford or can a house hold a trauma, dooming every residents to repeat the experience over and over again? 

The two main investigators in this mystery are Chief Mandy Grady and new resident Raquel, providing the interesting contrasting perspectives of someone born and bred in Shereford and someone completely new to the area and its residents. For Mandy it is hard to imagine that her father did anything but his best when investigating the Dixon’s disappearance, but she knows how tight knit this community is. Would they tell her if they knew something? Would she believe them? This is the difficult and lonely job of policing your own community, often too close to see things objectively but somehow always an outsider too. These families can trace their ancestors back for generations and have a vested interest in keeping old crimes hidden. Raquel is new enough not to care who she upsets, perhaps not realising that the consequences could be more serious than being snubbed by the neighbours. When she finds a well on their land with a woman’s skeleton buried inside she becomes fascinated with this decades old mystery and whether it’s linked to the Dixon disappearance. When researching in the heritage centre she’s restricted by the hovering of its guardians Betty and Mason, but thinks nothing of stealing a journal from under their noses. As she reads she discovers it’s been written by a local wise woman and midwife, something that links in with the well. Is there a supernatural element here or a witch hunt against a woman simply treating her fellow women? Though it does seem strange that a retriever type dog turned up at the house when they moved in, just like the one that the Dixons took in. It’s as if their house is caught in a time loop, doomed to repeat history every time a new resident moves in. What she finds as she reads Rita’s journal is a suggestion of witchcraft and satanic rituals, something that seems almost unbelievable as she walks around and meets friendly residents, but she knows better than most that proximity isn’t a guarantee of safety. 

A huge theme in the book is motherhood, both within the mystery and for Raquel and Theo personally. When smaller bones are found with the woman in the well, Raquel identifies them immediately as infant’s bones. This set off a few alarm bells about her past because it seems to trigger something emotionally. We know she had a difficult childhood but there are secrets she’s keeping from us and from Theo. She agonises over not being good enough for her husband who is described as handsome and comes from a rich and well connected family. He has proven himself loyal to Raquel but are there things he doesn’t know and if so, will their marriage survive? As a couple they’ve gone through pregnancy loss, a devastating experience that can often break a couple apart, yet they’ve survived. Theo has made the decision that he wants to be with Raquel because he loves her, not because of her ability to be a mother. I loved the chapters where this was explored from Raquel’s perspective as she muses on her lost children and as someone who experienced recurrent pregnancy loss it really resonated. She captures the difficult gap between those who only experienced the idea of a baby and the fully formed little person who was a reality to the mother who carried them: 

“Did babies have souls? Even the ones who never took a breath, but kicked their precious feet and turned funny little somersaults inside the safety of their mother’s womb […] were they just fragile wisps of what might have been, an idea never fully formed.” 

This combination of addictive thriller with real emotional intelligence captured me completely. As days pass and Mandy is driving around the more isolated parts of the community to see if they’re prepared for the coming snow storm, we can see how complex her job is. She’s taking care of these people but also suspicious of some of them. Even while she checks if they have supplies, she’s assessing them and wondering who holds the town’s secrets and who has been actively trying to keep them buried. I found both women brave, forthright and willing to stretch the rules to find the truth. As the storm hits they end up together, chasing down their suspects in an intensely claustrophobic town, completely cut off from any reinforcements or chance at escape. There’s been so much hiding in plain sight, simply needing a different perspective to unlock the truth both literally and figuratively. The twists kept coming and I was astounded by the layers of lies and collusion. Mandy finds herself at the centre of a web of deception woven into a more complicated pattern by each generation that followed in order to preserve reputation and power. I love it when a book grabs my attention so much that I’m choosing to read it rather than turn on the television. I’ve placed this author on the list I keep for second hand bookshops because I definitely want to read more of her work.

Out now from Penguin

Meet the Author

Lisa Gardner started her writing career aged seventeen. Having caught her hair on fire while working in food service, crafting a novel seemed a safer bet. A mere ten years later she became an overnight success with the publication of her first thriller, The Perfect Husband.

Now an internationally bestselling author and winner of the International Thriller Writers Award for best suspense novel, Lisa lives in the mountains of New Hampshire with her family.

When not glued to her computer, she can be found hiking the mountains with her dogs and/or researching new and interesting ways to get away with murder.

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Hello, I am Hayley and I run Lotus Writing Therapy and The Lotus Readers blog. I am a counsellor, workshop facilitator and avid reader.

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