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Posted in Personal Purchase

My Favourite Mistake by Marian Keyes

Posted on by thelotusreaders

I’m going to say it.

I am a Marian Keyes superfan.

I love her tweets or whatever the hell we call them now. I love her honesty. I love her Strictly fandom. I especially love her sense of humour. I love that her books have drawn my stepdaughter into daily reading, because of course more than anything I love her writing. She puts all her quirk, wit and self-awareness into the characters she writes. She is a writing goddess! She gets better year on year and I loved this dive straight back into the Walsh family after Again, Rachel. Rachel has always been my favourite Walsh, but in this latest novel Anna really did steal my heart. Anna is nearing her fiftieth birthday and her high flying PR role in the beauty business is wearing a little thin. Although she’s always loved living in NYC, the pandemic left her feeling the distance from her family in Ireland. After losing her husband Aidan in a terrible car accident several years ago, her contact with his family in Boston has waned. Her subsequent relationship with Angelo – a ‘feathery stroker’ – has been conducted with respect, equality and a deep fondness, but never passionate, all consuming love. With a need to be near those she loves, she gives notice on her job, her apartment and her relationship.

Her family think she’s gone mad and she almost starts to think she’s made a huge mistake when a sudden job opportunity comes her way. Her sister’s friend Bridie has been building a luxury hotel and spa on farmland near the coast, but the project has hit the buffers. Locals have vandalised the site leaving machinery sabotaged and the luxury bungalows daubed with paint. Bridie and her husband have had the worst news, their daughter has been diagnosed with cancer and needs their total focus. What they need is an experienced but down to earth PR who will be able to converse with the locals in town, find out what their grievances are and hopefully, get the project moving forward again. Anna is booked into the local hotel and can be ready to hit the ground running, but there’s just one snag. The finance broker who has put together the deal for Bridie’s project is Joey Armstrong. Joey was part of the Irish ex-pat community in New York when Anna and Rachel first moved out there. He was also one of the ‘Real Men’, a group of long haired, tight jeaned, rock gods who included Rachel’s husband Luke. Joey was hot. All tawny haired, with the most kissable mouth Anna had ever seen, not to mention his jeans which were just on the wrong side of decent. The first night they met Anna felt an immediate vibe and was full of anticipation until her sister Helen walked in. She saw Joey’s eyes immediately slide over her and become laser focused on her beautiful sister. Anna was immediately slighted and when Helen and Joey left together she decided to dispel this particular lean hipped rock god to the back of her mind. However, this wasn’t the last time their paths crossed. Joey has always been a mix of old flame and thorn in Anna’s side. Can she put aside their past and work together on this project?

Anna has that wonderful characteristic that can’t be taught, she has an easy charm and an ability to talk to anyone from building contractors to the lady of the manor. She takes to M’town straight away, working out who are the cornerstones of the community and who has something to lose from the development at Bridie’s farm. Knowing that her NYC clothes won’t work in rural Ireland, she dresses in jeans and a waterproof coat and pulls her hair back in a ponytail. Minimal make-up leaves her looking fresh-faced and the facial scar from her accident with Aidan is exposed. She’s shrewd enough to realise that it gives her an advantage, no matter whether they people feel sorry for her, are curious or think it shows honesty and openness. She’s smart and has similar skills to her sister Rachel when it comes to communication. The openness, lack of judgement and appreciation that Rachel shows her clients in the counselling room, is equally fruitful when trying to get to the bottom of why certain people in town are against the development. Anna genuinely cares and within days can see where mistakes were made, where a concern was overlooked or an individual was inconvenienced. She can make the most insignificant person feel like the centre of her world and is soon making friends. We follow her investigation and watch her become more and more embedded in this quirky but beautiful little place. In between we see glimpses into Anna’s past, from the before and after devastation of Aidan’s death to her relationship with best friend Jackie and her daughter Trea. Jackie has been her best friend, a relationship that even survived Jackie’s fraught relationship with Joey. When Jackie becomes pregnant, Anna puts aside her own feelings for Joey and becomes her birthing partner and almost a co-parent to Trea. However, something happens to jeopardise their friendship and the women have barely spoken since.

A Marian Keyes romance is never just heart and flowers. It’s always about the heroine’s personal baggage and need for self-growth too. Often I prefer the inner growth to the potential relationship, but not in this case. I absolutely loved this couple and their story. We all have that someone who got away. For me it was a lanky and eccentric music lover called Glynn who would turn up at the door unannounced – often sporting flowers from the graveyard or my dad’s own flowerbeds. There was rarely any warning with Glynn, he might be waiting for me at school having invited himself for tea or have walked five miles from town with some song lyrics scribbled on a postcard that I just had to have. We would lie on my bed and listen to the Cocteau Twins, Ride and The Smiths. My dad would despair at his Joe Bloggs wide leg jeans with frayed hems that dragged mud and grass into the house. He had hair like Clint Boon from the Inspiral Carpets and a huge billowing parka that I stole and wore for two years straight. He also had a complicated home life and often reminded me of Snufkin from The Moomins, who loved the solidity and dependability of Moomin House but also needed time to wander alone whenever it suited him. I was hopelessly in love with him, but it took him three years to finally ask me out and I was scared that it was finally happening that I panicked and refused. Even now, every few months or so he sends me a Spotify track by House of Love or Northside and I love that little reminder of teenage love. Similarly, Joey and Anna have a very long history with several near misses and a deep friendship when he let her close. Although they’ve never had a romantic relationship it is Anna and not one of his many lovers who knows the truth about his upbringing and how damaging those years were. He has trusted her with his deepest secrets, but he has also hurt her, possibly more than anyone else in her life. He has also caused her to lose her closest friend. Yet Anna knows that once she also wounded Joey deeply, the details of which we only find out late in the story.

I loved the pace of the romance, with Marian Keyes knowing exactly when to drop in a flashback that explains everything and keeping that ‘will they/ won’t they’ tension without it seeming artificial. Often with rom coms I feel like obstacles are there just for the sake of it, but the flow is natural and I never felt like the outcome was a done deal. There were so many obstacles and items of baggage it felt like they were on the luggage conveyor belt at Gatwick. There’s everything from the past – him choosing Helen, then Jackie and then most of NYC if Mrs Walsh is to be believed, before Anna. Joey has so much work to do, not just about his childhood but about the here and now. Blending families isn’t easy and he has three adorable boys as well as Trea to think about. They’re both temporarily working on this project and in M’town so what happens when the hotel is built or if Birdie has enough and changes her plans? Anna might be healed physically, but her scar does bother her and has changed her life in ways she didn’t imagine. It does work as a filter, anyone it clearly bothers has no place in her bed. However, at times it does play on her confidence and when she sets up an online suggestion inbox for the locals there are enough hurtful comments to remind her of a time when she wasn’t okay. Joey is fit to murder the culprits but Anna rises above it and keeps moving forward, despite the hurt and the reminder that Joey didn’t even choose her before the accident. So, why would he choose her now? Is it possible to remain friends when they’re so close? Finally, there’s the beautiful setting, nobody does small town Ireland like Keyes and these people are imperfect, but hilarious. Some of their concerns are petty, but others are grounded in years and years of tradition. Work is hard to find in a small town so local tradesmen not being asked to contract was a huge mistake, but easily smoothed over once Anna explains the artistry and level of finish expected. Could Anna thrive somewhere like this, or is she just passing through? I loved, loved, loved this book and being on holiday I had the luxury of sitting in the garden in Glastonbury and reading right through to the end. This is peak Marian Keyes and if you don’t fall in love with Anna or her love story with Joey there’s clearly something a little bit wrong with you.

Meet the Author

Marian Keyes is the international bestselling author of Watermelon, Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married, Rachel’s Holiday, Last Chance Saloon, Sushi for Beginners, Angels, The Other Side of the Story, Anybody Out There, This Charming Man, The Brightest Star in the Sky , The Mystery of Mercy Close, The Woman Who Stole My Life, The Break and her latest Number One bestseller, Grown Ups. Her two collections of journalism, Making it up as I Go Along and Under the Duvet: Deluxe Edition are also available from Penguin.

Posted in Random Things Tours

The Night in Question by Susan Fletcher

Posted on by thelotusreaders

“Florrie learned, long ago, that society forgets an old person was ever young.”

When I was nineteen I started a summer job in a nursing home and went back to the work on and off for several years, both as a carer and an activities organiser. I was so fond of the first set of ladies I looked after, in fact I still have photos of them all and remember their quirks and their stories. I was deeply fond of Mary, an eighty year old lady with hair she could sit on. Other carers didn’t want to be bothered washing and drying her hair, but I loved it and would plait it for her and arrange it into the topknot she liked that left her looking like Little My from the Moomin books! She was convinced I was a boy, despite the dress that was our uniform. This was the nineties and I think she was confused by the crop I’d had, inspired by Demi Moore in Ghost. Having listened to a lot of stories from all my ladies, when I became an activities organiser I was determined to show carers that the people they looked after had once been young and full of dreams too. So many times I’d watched carers get someone out of bed and talk over them to each other instead of including them in their conversation. I worked with each resident on collecting photos and telling stories about their lives for a display that would hang outside the door on their room. It would give carers and visitors subjects to ask about but also help them see people instead of bodies. This lovely, gentle novel from Susan Fletcher reminded me of these times and some of the stories I uncovered from the residents I worked with – amazing, heart-breaking and life changing stories. Florrie Butterfield is one such resident. At the age of 87 and after losing her leg, she has decided to take charge of her future and move into a rather smart residential home called Babbington Hall, set within the beautiful Oxfordshire countryside with a church nearby. She’s now a wheelchair user, but still wants to keep some independence so chooses a place where she can have a ‘suite’ allowing her to manage for herself as much as possible. Florrie has just settled in to her new home in a converted apple store when one of her new friends, Arthur, is found dead in the gardens.

Suffering a bout of insomnia later that night, Florrie decides to take a look at an advancing thunder storm and makes her way over to the window. As she throws open the window she hears a scream and something falls heavily from the third floor of the hall. When Florrie looks down she realises with horror that it is Renata Green, the home’s young manager. Surely she can’t have survived such a fall? In the ensuing moments Florrie is helped back to bed, with many entreaties from the staff not to stand and wander around. Inside she is cursing her disability, she wants to race up the stairs to Renata’s room immediately and find whoever pushed this lovely young woman to what must surely be her death. As the day goes on, she is interviewed by the police and is confused by their questioning, they seem to be suggesting that Renata was depressed and had nothing to live for in the lead up to her fall. However, Florrie knows different, because that very day Renata had approached for for a discussion about matters of the heart. Renata was in love with someone and had singled out Florrie as a woman who might understand. Their exchange had made Florrie feel hopeful that she might make a friend, that she might be of some use. Renata chose her confidante well because Florrie does indeed have hidden depths. In her room is a box of keepsakes that remind her of the love affairs she’s had with some very different men. Florrie is pleased to be asked, charmed that Renata could see underneath her age and disability to the woman inside. The reader is taken on the journey into Florrie’s past lives and loves, while in the present she works alongside fellow resident Stanhope Jones to uncover the truth about what happened to Renata, treating it as attempted murder. She also hints at an incident in her past that she’s spent a lifetime trying to keep covered up, one night that looms so large in her life it splits it into before and after. Will we find out what happened on the night in question?

Florrie is a fascinating character and I loved that an elderly lady, who are often completely invisible to those younger than themselves, becomes our guide through this journey. She has a kindness and approachability about her that seems to set people at ease, but we shouldn’t let her sunny nature disarm us, because inside is a razor sharp mind. As she investigates the mystery I could see how good it was for her to have such a responsibility in her life again. Alongside the present mystery, we also get to know how Florrie reached this point in her life and I loved reading about her childhood, wondering which events shaped her into the woman she is today. There’s a depth and strength to her character that’s built up of so many layers and for me it was like working with a counselling client – while keeping the presenting issue in mind I delve deeply into the past, drawing out those events that have had the biggest impact and contribute to the client’s current problems. It’s rare to find book characters that are so reflective and self aware. The author also fills the rest of Babbington Hall with some interesting characters, each one detailed and with their own role in the community. While Florrie lives in her own apartment converted from an old apple store, residents with more complex needs are based within the main hall. There are those who are more introverted and keep to their own rooms, while others are the life and soul of the place. The so-called ‘Elwood twins’ keep the gossip mill in action, while simultaneously claiming that they never stick their nose where it isn’t wanted. Stanhope is also one of the more ambulant residents and is a great foil for Florrie, able to investigate parts of the home that Florrie can’t reach. She immediately dispatches him to Renata’s third floor room where she wants him to note the details of the crime scene and any clues to Renata’s last moments before the fall. He is equally unconvinced and confused as to why the police are willing to write the incident off as a fall. Florrie knows that any clues or evidence might be ruined if the staff get to Renata’s room first and start cleaning. However the only clue seems to be a single magenta envelope. It feels like Florrie has sensed a kindred spirit in this quietly spoken, kind woman who has found love in her forties. She wonders if Renata also has keepsakes that might hint at the person beyond her working role. Is she another woman who has lived an interesting life, grabbing hold of chances at love and adventure that might seem unexpected for someone so unassuming.

The pace and structure of the novel are perfectly crafted; the author reveals a little at a time, just enough to move the story along but keeping us waiting for the next clue. Florrie reveals her own story through the six loves of her life, from her diplomat husband of thirty years Victor Plumley, all the way back to her first love Teddy Silversmith. Of course Teddy was involved with ‘the night in question’, the happenings in Hackney that anchor this story and provide it’s title. Only when we know what happened that night and the cause of the scars on Florrie’s knuckles that have silvered with time, can we truly understand her life since. It was interesting to see that her childhood was governed by two very individual women, her mother Prudence who is probably best described as an eccentric and her Aunt Pip. Her father was a policeman, killed on duty when Florrie was very young and Aunt Pip moved in to help look after her and her older brother Bobs who was injured during WW2. It is lovely to read about Florrie’s relationship with her brother and how it changed after his return from war. We also find out that Aunt Pip left an abusive marriage to come live with them, showing a great strength and willingness to forge her own path that possibly brushed off on her niece. In all Florrie can count six loves in her unconventional life, all of whom are very different: the charming Gaston Duplantier who she meets in Paris: Jack Luckett, a very physical, good looking man in Africa; the mysterious sounding Hassan abu Zahra and Dougal Henderson. Through each love we learn about Florrie’s globe trotting life and her freedom of spirit, culminating in a wealth of experience and wisdom that might seem unexpected in the octogenarian lady she is now. It is these very experiences, that would probably go ignored by most younger people, that help Florrie and Stanhope solve the mystery of Renata’s ‘fall’. The author judges perfectly where to reveal the Hackney business, when it has most impact and brings a lump to the throat. It is a gift to be able to bring such depth and feeling to what could have been just another cozy crime novel about charming elderly residents playing detective. This book is so much more than that, revealing a rich and eventful life that could teach us so much about taking chances and not missing out on our potential. It also explores the corrosive nature of secrets, especially for the person holding on to them. I left Florrie the same way I used to feel after looking into the past with a resident – that I’d uncovered a treasure trove of experiences and met their young selves. I felt like I’d met a friend.

Meet the Author

Susan Fletcher was born in Birmingham and studied English Literature at the University of York. 

Whilst taking the MA in Creative Writing at the University of East Anglia, she began her first novel, Eve Green, which won the Whitbread First Novel Award (2004) and Betty Trask Prize (2005). Since then, Susan has written seven novels – whilst also supplementing her writing through various roles, including as a barperson, a cheesemonger and a warden for an archaeological excavation site near Hadrian’s Wall. Most recently, she has been a Royal Literary Fund Fellow at the University of Worcester.

She lives in Warwickshire. 

Thank you to Transworld Publishing, Alison Barrow, Susan Fletcher and Random Things Tours for inviting me to join the blog tour.

Posted in Random Things Tours

The Garnett Girls by Georgina Moore

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Regular readers will know how much I love stories of large families, their complicated dynamics and the psychological ins and outs of why they are, the way they are. This was the perfect read for me and I was immediately intrigued by the deep family secrets at the centre of the three sister’s relationships with their mother Margo. The three sisters are: eldest, Rachel married to Gabriel with two small girls and a career as a lawyer; Imogen, the playwright who is anticipating long term boyfriend William to conduct the perfect proposal while being unsure whether it’s what she wants. Then there’s Sasha, the fierce and rather wild youngest sister, who is struggling between her family and her coercive husband Phil while family friend Johnny watches on, wildly in love with her. The sisters live in the shadow of their mother Margo and father Richard’s tempestuous love affair and marriage which sadly ended in divorce. His drinking and their arguing lead to Richard walking out, to join his secret other family. None of the girls have ever seen their father since that day. Rachel remembers moving to their holiday home Sandycove from their house in London and Margo being unwell. She and Imogen, along with their Aunt Alice try to keep the house running, but Sasha is still a baby struggling to cope with Margo’s unavailability. In the present day, every one of the Garnett girls is carrying a secret, but Sasha’s secret has the potential to blow the family apart.

I loved the community on the island, where the family home has always stood. Rachel and Gabriel now live in Sandycove with their children. Rachel works in London during part of the week and Gabriel works as a counsellor but also looks after the home and the girls. Sandycove is still the official place where the Garnett family get together for special occasions and Margo is constantly popping in and out, helping with cooking and childcare. She now lives at at The Other Place, a bungalow up in the village. It’s here she conducts day to day life and her illicit love affairs, kept separate from her family, who often know a lot more than she realises. Because they’re together in the week, Gabriel and Margo often plan family get togethers and outings. This bothers Rachel who knows they’re only trying to take the burden from her, but she often feels like Sandycove isn’t their own, it belongs to everyone. In gaining the family legacy they’ve also lost something. Their close knit days of just the four of them are gone. Imi’s story starts in beautiful Venice where her perfect boyfriend William is set to propose. She knows this because Margo and Rachel are calling on a daily basis to hear what they’ve been up to. They’ve been a couple for a long time now and her family love William. They think he’s perfect too and Imi knows that if she vocalised her doubts to her mum or one of her sisters they’d think she’s lost her mind. On her return the read through of her play is set to begin and an up and coming Hollywood star has been cast in the lead role. Imi isn’t sure about Rowan and worries that it may be the worst kind of stunt casting, but from the moment she meets the actress, she can’t stop looking at her. Having always felt her relationship falls short of her parent’s great love, finally Imi knows what a coup de foudre feels like. Sasha has had a radical and fierce short haircut that she knows Margo will hate and will make her look very different from her sisters. Sasha is holding on to something else they’ll hate too, she is in contact with their father Richard and his family. Over the course of the novel, all the secrets hoarded by the sisters will come out. Can their close knit relationships survive?

Each of the three sisters are beautifully drawn by the author and became completely real to me very quickly. I loved their family dynamic too, even though I might find it a little bit suffocating if they were mine! Margo especially is a lot to take, with her daily phone calls and constant ‘pop-in’s’. There’s also the potential embarrassment of her sexual adventures, although I did enjoy her liberation and openness about having an active sex life as a grandmother. Sandycove has so many deep emotions buried in it’s walls. It almost runs like a stately home, with a list of annual events for family and friends that are a fixture in the village calendar. The family’s parties are incredible and I’d love to go to one! I thought the way the author used flashbacks was clever, because they helped me understand each of the women. So we see Sandycove as the home of 16 year old Margo who thinks she’s met the love of her life. Margo’s mother is unconvinced and is determined to keep this older man away from her daughter. Margo isn’t easily dissuaded from her love affair and ropes her sister Alice into helping her, eventually fleeing her childhood home with Richard in tow. Her self-awareness doesn’t stretch to realising that she’s now doing just the same with her own daughters – so sure that William is the one for Imi she’s planning the wedding before the proposal. We also go back to the moment when this family fell apart; this past event answered a lot of questions for me. I loved the moment of realisation for Rachel that her need for independence lies back there, in fact it was about survival. Yet she knows her independence made Margo feel unwanted and also masked a need to live up to her mother’s expectations and a fear of being unable to. She didn’t want to live somewhere that people came up to her in the street to tell her how like Margo she was. She wanted to live somewhere there was no Margo, maybe then there’d be enough space left for her to be Rachel. She knows that now these old feelings put a distance between her and Gabriel, in fact the whole family see strong, capable Rachel without thinking how exhausting it must be at times, how she can never be vulnerable.

Imi longs for someone to listen, so much so that on the day of her Venice proposal she drinks at the hotel bar with a young man just because he doesn’t talk over her, or assume what she wants in her life. When William proposes he uses the words ‘it’s what everyone wants’ before asking if it’s what she wants. It’s as if she’s ripe for rebellion, but doesn’t know how yet. Sasha’s rebellion is rather more visible, the short platinum blonde crop is a backlash against the long flowing hair that makes her a Garnett girl. Her identity is visible in the way she looks, with her slightly severe and spiky clothes and her red-soled high heels. She picks at Imi for accepting Margo’s bullying and interference, knowing straight away that Margo had bought Imi’s dress for the engagement party. Sasha can see that though she is beautiful she isn’t comfortable in it. In fact Imi wasn’t even comfortable with the party. Yet Sasha soon returns to Phil’s side, as he lurks in the doorway looking put out. He hates Garnett parties and prefers to have Sasha to himself; there are deep-seated reasons why Sasha has fallen into this possessive relationship, mistaking control for love. I thought these labyrinthine dynamics were brilliantly done, so real and perfectly in tune with coercive control and how intergenerational trauma works. I knew it was going to take the revelation of all the family secrets, probably in an explosive Garnett way, for these dynamics to change and for the girls and Margo to heal. I was so sucked into their world that I read the book in two sittings, desperate to see the girls speak their truth and start controlling their own lives. I also wanted healing for Margo too, because she’s been at war with an idea for the past twenty years. Her impression of the man who left her and the life he left her for is all in her head and it’s maybe time to face reality. The Garnett women can only move forward by being honest and real with each other and themselves. This was a wonderful read for people like me – the nosey and psychologically trained. It’s astute, beautifully written and full of strong women who are talented, ambitious and intelligent. It was a joy to read.

Published in paperback this month by HQ Stories.

Check out the rest of the blog tour

Meet the Author

Georgina Moore grew up in London and lives on a houseboat on the River Thames with her partner, two children and Bomber, the Border Terrier.   The Garnett Girls is her first novel and is set on the Isle of Wight, where Georgina and her family have a holiday houseboat called Sturdy. Georgina is working on her second novel, Walnut Tree Island, which will be published in 2025.

Posted in Netgalley

Goodbye Birdie Greenwing by Ericka Waller

Posted on by thelotusreaders



Birdie Greenwing has been at a loose end ever since her beloved twin sister and husband passed away. Too proud and stubborn to admit she is lonely, Birdie’s world has shrunk. But then some new neighbours move in to the house next door. 

Jane has come to Brighton for a fresh start, away from her ferociously protective mother Min. While Jane finds it hard to stand up for herself, her daughter Frankie has no problem telling people what she does and doesn’t want. Ada Kowalski has come to England to follow her dreams, but her new life is harder than she expected.

When a series of incidents brings their lives crashing together, the three find that there is always more to a person than meets the eye …

Goodbye Birdie Greenwing celebrates relationships in all their quirky, complicated uniqueness. It is a story about the choices we make and how we justify them. About finding out who we are, not who other people think we should be.

I read Ericka’s novel in a day because I simply loved being in the presence of these lovable and contrasting characters. As I met each one I could see the impact they could have on each other’s lives. As the author takes us inside their everyday lives, their inner worlds and their pasts she looks at family dynamics, sisters, mothers and daughters, but also the whole question of being a woman in the 20th and 21st Century. In fact there was a point when I was reminded of America Ferrara’s speech in the film Barbie. It addresses the choices we make, the expectations placed on us within our families, by other women and by society at large. She takes us into that contrast of who we are, how we compare that to our internal and learned ideas of what the word ‘woman’ means. Birdie, our central character, is a elderly woman living alone in Brighton with her little dog Audrey. She lost her sister Rose and husband Arthur several years ago. She is stunned when tests at hospital confirm she has cancer, but before the doctor can give her more information and make a plan Birdie has walked out. Her oncologist Ada recognises that determined walk and the lift of Birdie’s chin. She realises that Birdie is going to face this alone and she worries that she will struggle without the help that can be offered. In fact Ada realises that Birdie lives on her street, so takes to walking past and checking for telltale signs that Birdie is struggling. Ada is also lonely after relocating to Britain from Poland. Used to life on an isolated farm and a very different society, Brighton can be a lot to take on. Despite friendly overtures from her secretary Denise and Connie in the WRVS cafe Ada is solitary, except for the time she spends helping Aleksey and Lech in the Polski Sklep. When a new intern starts on her team Ada’s teamwork skills will be tested, not to mention her social skills. Finally, there’s Jane and her daughter Frankie who have recently moved in next to Birdie from Bristol. Jane is struggling with the guilt of moving away from her mother Min, although her sister Suki is out in Asia just living her life as she chooses. They used to be so close, but now all she gets are emojis. Her daughter Frankie’s bluntness and practical nature might seem like a hindrance when forming new connections, it certainly gets Jane called into school enough, but could her lack of inhibitions and tact actually help them make friends?

There are two mysteries in the novel and I enjoyed watching them slowly unravel. There’s the mystery of what has happened to Birdie’s husband and sister, Arthur and Rose. At first I wondered if they’d run away together but Birdie’s guilt seems to have lasted for decades. The other mystery is what has broken the relationship between Jane and her sister Suki? Suki is distant and even when she rings to speak to Min, she’s very quick to end the call if Jane is present. Jane tries hard, sending her sister funny videos, memories of their childhood and information about Min but only gets emojis or a thumbs up in return. Each of the women have a sister and their relationships with them are fascinating. Birdie always felt responsible for Rose as she had rheumatoid arthritis. When she met Arthur and fell in love she hadn’t imagine she might have to make a choice, so when Arthur asks her to marry him she hesitates. What about Rose? Luckily Arthur had realised that the two sisters were a package deal. Birdie felt guilty that Rose wouldn’t have the same choices in life and whether there was something she did wrong, before they were born, that led to her sister’s disability. Birdie worried that she’d somehow pushed herself forward in the womb and take more than her share. Now Rose was ill as a result. Jane and Suki’s rift seems to date back to when the sisters went travelling together. Jane returned from Thailand with Frankie and moved back in with Min, but Suki stayed. They are very different women, with contrasting life choices but that shouldn’t stop them being sisters. Ada has a sister called Ania, but she has chosen a very different life. While Ada is saving lives in a different country, Ania lives close to their parents and is married with children.

I’ve never had a sister, but it seems as if they provide an instant comparison; they are the mirror in which your own life is reflected. Ada feels like the ‘bad’ sister, the one who followed her own dreams rather than staying to work the family farm. This choice has cut her off from the family in a way. She knows they sacrificed a lot for her education, so she sends part of her salary home every month and when she visits takes them gifts. She wants to show them that their sacrifice was worth it and she is doing well. However, this changes her standing in the family and while there’s no red carpet for Ania, when Ada comes home she is treated like a guest, placed in the best room and given the special soap saved for visitors. She feels like a stranger in her childhood home. She would be happy to throw on jeans and help with the animals but they won’t let her. It’s hard for her to accept these two sides of herself; the Ada who would happily muck out the cows and the Ada who wears a suit and saves lives. She thinks that her parents value Ania more because she made the ‘right’ choices and is still part of the community. Whereas Ada’s life is outside their experience and difficult to understand, her ambitions are perhaps unnatural as opposed to motherhood. Similarly, Jane had wanted to have children, a revelation that took her by surprise, whereas Suki knew she didn’t want motherhood. Could there misunderstanding be explained by this difference? Could Suki feel guilty or even selfish for not having children and making life choices based on what she wants? However, just because you’re childless, it doesn’t mean you can’t ‘mother’ people. There’s also a generational difference in the way they mother, with Min’s tactless and sometimes hurtful words seeming like they belong in another century. There’s a way in which Min and Frankie are very similar in character, but now everything has to have a label. Jane wonders why Frankie has to be pigeon-holed and defined in some way. Why is it always Frankie that’s in the wrong? She has a much softer way of mothering that ironically Frankie often sees as fussing and she much prefers the more practical attitude of grandmother Min.

Where Waller really moved me, was where these quirks of character benefitted someone else. Where even those aspects that you’d struggle to call positive found their place in the world. Frankie has no inhibitions and Jane is called into school when she gives a classmate a frank assessment of her braces, including the trapped cabbage. She doesn’t understand why the things she says are wrong when they’re true. When Birdie has a short stay in hospital and has the realisation that she might be in her final days it’s not medical professionals Jane or Ada that she needs. At first it’s Frankie who goes in and decides to help, making Birdie comfortable and making her some lunch. The two rub along nicely together, probably because there’s no fuss with Frankie and I understood that need for someone who isn’t flowery, overly chatty or phased by her illness. Similarly Min is the perfect carer for Birdie, she suggests that being of the same generation might make Birdie feel more comfortable and even Ada has to agree that their dynamic works. Min and Frankie’s help reminded me of how Ada’s parents would help their neighbours out. On her visit to family in Poland, Ada noticed how her mother’s farmhouse provided a quiet place for people to get away, like the neighbour who comes in on Saturday mornings to read his paper. This communal way of living is echoed by Aleksey and Lech who happily feed Ada; their fondness is shown in a practical way. Ada’s secretary Denise is stunned when, after years of finding her a bit of a cold fish, Ada offers her a home after the split from her husband. It shows we should accept people as they are, because we all show emotion and affection in different ways.

I felt like this was another book about connection, both with others and with ourselves. It’s a subject I find fascinating and I’m picking it up a lot lately in fiction. I wonder whether this is an unconscious response to the isolation of the pandemic. The author is brilliant at depicting those little inhibitions and we hear them in each woman’s narration. Jane hovers on the edge of a ‘huddle’ at work because she doesn’t know if she’ll be welcome or not. Ada doesn’t knock on Birdie’s door for professional reasons but also because she doesn’t want to impose. They all have to learn how to connect with who they are. Jane needs to learn to assert herself more, to accept her life choices and explore why she’s spent years of her life as a single woman. Suki’s guilt over the choices that were right for her stop her having a relationship with Jane and Frankie, but it was the right choice. As Ada compares herself with Ania she needs to see that it was right for Ania to stay near family and become a mum, but that moving away and using her skills to help others was the right choice for her. Even Birdie, who is the central character around which these interesting women revolve but she too has a lot of acceptance to do. She must accept this new vulnerability and need for help from others, as well as accepting she deserves it. Mostly she needs to forgive herself, for something that wasn’t even her fault. She has punished herself for years and it is the lovely Connie (whose collection of innuendo laden mugs rivals my own) in the hospital’s WRVS café who helps her see that while she still has time this is her time. While we still have life, we must live it. Whether we have months, days or hours left, we must live them.

Meet the Author

Ericka Waller is 38 and lives in Brighton with three daughters, too many pets and a husband.

She is an award winning blogger and columnist.

When not writing she can be found walking her dogs, reading in the bath or buying stuff off eBay.

Posted in Monthly Wrap Up

Best Reads March 2024

Posted on by thelotusreaders

The Garnett Girls by Georgina Moore.

I was so glad to be invited to the paperback blog tour of this fantastic book, it’s been on the pile to read for a long while but other priorities kept popping up. I won’t ruin my full review because it’s out in a few days but I absolutely loved it. The Garnett girls of the title are Rachel, Imi and Sasha, all of them very close to each other and their mother Margo. All were living in London until Margo suggested that Rachel and her husband Gabriel move into the family home of Sandycove. The house is too big for one person and Margo is moving to a bungalow further into the village. Sandycove was their holiday home as children until their father Richard left and Margo moved the girls to the coast. In some ways Rachel enjoys living in the house but she still spends some time in London for work, leaving Gabriel and the girls behind. Margo is often in residence too, planning family events and cooking with Gabriel. There are times when she doesn’t feel that the house is theirs. Imi is in Venice, expecting a proposal from her perfect boyfriend William. She knows he’s going to propose because Margo and Rachel have called her every night for ‘news’. They think William is perfect for her, but is he? When Imi’s head is turned by a beautiful actress starring in her new play, it shakes the safe foundations of her life. Sasha is the rebellious daughter, her short pixie cut is a direct reaction to people in the village always telling her how much she looks like Margo. She’s married to Phil, who isn’t fond of the Garnett family and sits on the edge of family gatherings looking glum. The issues all of the girls are struggling with lie in a past they only vaguely remember. They struggle to live up to Margo and Richard’s wild and passionate romance, but was it really as wonderful as it sounds?

Night Watching by Tracy Sierra

I feel so lucky that two of the best thrillers so far this year have fallen into one reading month. This really is the most incredible, spine tingling and nerve-shredding story of a mother who is woken in the night by a heavy tread on the stairs. There’s someone in the house. Their home is isolated and she has two small children to protect. She remembers the strange hidden space next to the main chimney and quietly makes her way, gathering the children and begging them to be quiet. They make it into the crawl space, now all she has to do is keep the children quiet. As the footsteps move ever closer the tension mounts until the man is sitting in the adjoining office, talking to the children and asking them to come out of their hiding place. Thankfully he has no idea where it is. As he walks away to search other parts of the house, her little girl says she knows his voice. This is the man in the corner, the man from her nightmares who sits in her bedroom and whispers to her. My heart was in my mouth at this point. I didn’t know whether they were in a dream, whether this young mother was in the grip of madness, or if this was an intruder who’s been there before. This is a story that will keep you awake at night and is utterly brilliant.

House of Shades by Lianne Dillsworth

I awaited this novel with trepidation, having loved her first novel I really wanted this to be equally fascinating. Our heroine is Hester, a doctoress who has inherited the skills and potions of her mother and now earns a living treating the prostitutes of the King’s Cross area of London. Then she receives a job offer that could change her life and those of her husband Jos and sister Willa. Factory and plantation owner, Gervaise Cherville, offers her ten pounds to move into his mansion in Fitzrovia and treat his unknown ailments. This is life- changing money, especially for a black woman in the 19th Century. As Hester moves into Tall Trees she makes two discoveries: her sister Willa is enjoying a flirtation with Cherville’s son Rowland; Gervaise Cherville is a slave owner, not only on his plantation but here in his home. Cherville makes a request of Hester, if she can help him trace two slaves who lived at Tall Trees he will increase her payment to twenty pounds. This sum of money could take her family away from London altogether and take Willa out of the clutches of Rowland Cherville. The author portrays Hester beautifully as a woman who falls in between society’s rigid class structure. A black woman living in a Fitzrovian household, in the same accommodation as the housekeeper. She’s torn between helping her family and potentially harming another black woman, one who has fled the Cherville mansion with all the trauma of being a slave. Taking in class, race, ‘passing’ and the misogyny of men this is a deeply affecting story. My full review will be this month.

Prima Facie by Suzie Miller

This novel is an absolute tour de force and a damning indictment of the legal system when it comes to sexual offences. Tessa has come a long way to be a barrister in one of London’s best chambers. Born in Liverpool and raised on a Luton council estate she set her sights on Cambridge and achieved her goal. Tessa doesn’t have many beliefs but she does believe in the law, as a tool that isn’t perfect, but more or less delivers justice. As a barrister she doesn’t need to know whether the client is innocent or guilty, she just needs to find the holes in the prosecution’s story, something she can exploit to create reasonable doubt. She also believes that her experience and education have made her the equal of any rich, privately educated, and well-connected colleague. However, when a date with a fellow barrister goes wrong Tessa finds herself on the other side of the bench, she is now a witness and now someone will pick apart her story looking for the gaps and the holes, the fuzzy bits she isn’t quite sure of yet. Tessa is a character that pulls you into her world from the first page. Miller pulls apart the legal system like I’ve never seen before and watching Tessa lose faith in something she’s always believed in is really hard. In parts this is a hard read with trigger warnings for sexual assault, but it’s necessary. I had a visceral reaction to it. It made me think about whether the law truly is an equaliser or does justice depend on how deep your pockets are, who you went to school with, the colour of your skin, your gender. It also made me think about incidents in the past that newer generations of women simply would not tolerate and with good reason. I wish I has seen the play of the same name starring Jodie Comer who I can see was perfect for Tessa. I’m so grateful to my Squad Pod for choosing this as one of our March reads. This is a book I will think about long after popping it back on the shelf.

Here are some other reads from March.

Posted in Random Things Tours

Meet Me When My Heart Stops by Becky Hunter

Posted on by thelotusreaders

What if your soulmate could only ever be the love of your afterlife?

The first time Emery’s heart stops, she is only five years old…

Emery is born with a heart condition that means her heart could quite literally stop at any moment. The people around her know what to do – if they act quickly enough there will be no lasting damage, and Emery’s heart can be restarted. But when this happens, she is briefly technically dead.

Each time Emery’s heart stops, she meets Nick. His purpose is to help people adjust to the fact that they are dead, to help them say goodbye, before they move on entirely. He does not usually meet people more than once – but with Emery, he is able to make a connection, and he finds himself drawn to her.

As Emery’s life progresses, and she goes through ups and downs, she finds that a part of her is longing for those moments when her heart will stop – so that she can see Nick again.

This is the story of two fated lovers who long for each other, but are destined never to share more than a few fleeting moments – because if they were to be together, it would mean the end of Emery’s life.

I recently got married. Kev is my best friend and I can’t imagine daily life without him. Seventeen years ago I could never have imagined this scenario. Seventeen years ago my soul mate was taken away from me. Jerz and I had been together for seven years and I lost him by slow degrees over that time, as he slowly succumbed to breathing complications due to multiple sclerosis. One of the things I found so difficult about his death was just how final it was. I’ve often heard bereaved people say that they can feel their loved one’s presence, that they communicate with them or that they feel visited by them in some way. I felt nothing. I couldn’t believe that we could be so close in life, then have nothing. Somehow I thought our love could transcend death. I still love him of course, but nothing comes back. I wondered if our connection wasn’t as close as I imagined, or were those other people just kidding themselves? Unable to face the reality of death had they imagined the robin visiting their garden was a loved one? I had one night where I was so close to joining him. I couldn’t imagine carrying on. But somehow we do and I felt I would be letting him down if I didn’t fully live my life. Kev and I talk about him often and he knows that if he goes first he must find Jez and share stories of what it’s like to be married to me. So, in a way I felt I had some investment in this story. I have my very own Nick in the afterlife, but I’ve met mine before. I wasn’t sure about a love with someone completely new in the hereafter. I wasn’t even sure what Nick was – Death, the Devil, an angel? However, I was fascinated with Emery’s real life.

When someone is diagnosed with a condition that’s life limiting or ending, it doesn’t just affect the individual. The whole of that person’s family and friends have to get used to the diagnosis and what it means for them. For my late husband and me ( I also have MS) it meant a closeness with our family that possibly wouldn’t have happened without those periods of illness and uncertainty. I think it makes us appreciate each other more and make the most of being together. Yet for Emery’s parents it’s even worse. My parents felt guilty that I’d been diagnosed, relieved, scared and incredibly sad all at once, but whatever happened we knew that I’d still be around. Emery’s family have to accept that they might lose their daughter, but have no idea when it’s going to happen: it could be when she’s 6 years old on her way to school, it could be when they’ve just had a teenage row, it could be when she’s at university and no one’s there to help, it could be on her wedding day. It’s hard to live with such uncertainty. It’s hard to just carry on and live a normal life, but it’s also hard to continually treat someone as if you might lose them, every single day of your life. Sadly Emery’s parents react in different ways. While her mother is scared and grieving, she believes in carrying on as normally as possible. Whereas her father becomes anxious and hyper-vigilant. He wants to know where Emery is at all times, which risks he can eliminate, for everyone around Emery to know about her heart condition and that she only hangs out with those who know and can do CPR. This isn’t so much of an issue at a primary school age, but as Emery becomes a teenager she wants to spend time with new friends, go on school trips and maybe meet with boys. All of this is completely normal for her friends, but Emery has to ask and then listen to her parents tearing each other apart downstairs. For her dad there are no negotiations and no compromises. Until, in the end, it just becomes too much to cope with and her mum leaves. Emery lives with the guilt of feeling that it was her condition that caused her parents to split up.

I wondered throughout how much of Nick was real and how much was a subconscious invention. Something her mind created so that in those first moments after death Emery doesn’t feel alone. It’s also easier to be in love with someone who isn’t in your everyday world, especially when you have a hidden illness. As Emery learns, dating in the real world is much more complicated. When do you ‘come out’ to that new person about your invisible illness? What if you collapse on a date? Then as time goes on the bigger questions start to come up. How can you move in or marry someone and give them this terrible burden to carry? How can you live a normal life together when at any time they could lose you? Look what her illness did to her parent’s marriage? How do you tell someone that if they pick you, they’ll have to sacrifice having their own children? Isn’t it too big an ask? Nick knows everything, in fact when she’s with him she’s already dead so that removes the risk. It is the easiest relationship she has. I could see how it would be easier to be in love with him than someone in real life. Emery’s trusted friends are Bonnie and Colin who live nearby, they know everything and are trained for the worst eventuality. It’s clear that Colin has feelings for Emery, but he’s the boy next door. He’s probably the only boy that her dad would feel she was safe with and that’s a real turn off! As Emery gets more rebellious and starts to test her limits she doesn’t always understand that she’s more than just one individual – she’s the sum of the people who love and care for her too. The consequences of her risky actions are not just hers; there are consequences for her parents, her sister Amber and her niece, her friends Bonnie and Colin, who clearly has feelings for her. If she made the decision to be with Nick, it would mean all these people losing her.

I was truly fascinated by how the author portrayed Emery’s journey. It was full of emotion and beautifully written. I can testify that it really isn’t easy coping with a life-limiting condition. I was 21 when I was diagnosed and could reason things out, but I still struggled with my self-image and how other people saw me differently. I’d had my wild teenage years not knowing, but Emery has to go through all of that never knowing if this is her last day. It polarises life by making some things feel completely futile and others soul- searchingly important. There’s not much room for the everyday when every day might be your last. I’m not sure if it was the author’s intention, but I didn’t fall in love with Nick and Emery’s love story. I fell in love with Emery herself, this beautiful, bright and vibrant girl who dies for the first time age 5. I understood her and more to the point, I felt like the author truly understood Emery’s experience. I felt seen. I was also rooting for Colin. I wanted Emery to choose real life, the ups and downs and every day with all it’s messiness and complicated feelings. To share life with someone instead of the afterlife.

Published by Corvus 21st April 2024

Becky grew up in Berkshire, UK, and has loved reading since before she can remember. After studying social sciences at Cambridge university, this love of reading led her to a career in publishing, where she worked as a book publicist in London for several years before taking a career break and moving to Mozambique to volunteer with horses. It was here that she decided to give writing a proper go, though it was still a few years, a few more destinations, and a couple more jobs before she had the idea that would become ONE MOMENT, her debut novel.

She currently splits her time between London, Bristol and Falmouth, and works as a freelance book publicist and editor, alongside her own writing.

Find Becky on Twitter (@Bookish_Becky) or Instagram (beckyhunterbooks) – she’d love to hear from you!

Posted in Throwback Thursday

Just Between Us by Adele Parks

Posted on by thelotusreaders

For some reason, I wasn’t fully engaged with Adele Parks’s last novel Both of You and I wasn’t expecting a sequel. I didn’t really like any of the characters involved. Kylie has two pseudonyms and two lives: half the time she’s Leigh, wife to Mark and stepmum to Oli and Seb; the rest of the time she’s Kai, wife to Dutch banker Daan Jaanssen and lives in an upmarket apartment with luxury clothes, cosmetics and holidays. The two seem to balance Kylie’s complicated needs, she’s equally at home having dinner in a Michelin starred restaurant as she is eating sand filled butties on a cold beach with the kids. Kylie’s other important relationship is Fiona, her friend of many years who has become part of the family and unofficial aunty to the boys. There isn’t a single person in Kylie’s world who knows about her double life, until one day she disappears. Now the whole world knows about Kylie’s bigamous marriages and the husbands and children are dragged into a police operation and a media frenzy. This sequel picks up after the first, when we’ve just found out who has been keeping Kylie prisoner. Just when we think it’s all over, we’re only halfway there.

I won’t ruin any of the twists and turns of either book, because this is one of those you need to start without any idea what’s going on. We have the original characters including the rather wise and interesting DCI and we have small chapters from every point of you. However, there are some newbies too and it was here where the book really took off for me. I was so eager to know what the hell was going on and where these people fit into the original story. We are in the depths of lockdown and Kenneth has been shielding alongside his grown-up daughter Stacie. Stacie is in the early stages of recovery from cancer treatment and she has fought hard to keep living. She deliberately doesn’t look at herself but knows she looks a little beaten up with her shorn hair and the scarring. Sadly, she has the added complication of amnesia after falling so dangerously ill so she doesn’t even remember treatment or anything before that. Thankfully she has Kenneth to fill in the blanks and he seems like such a caring and loving dad, luckily he’s also a retired GP so he’s perfectly placed to reassure Stacie and support her recovery. They have a quiet routine of daily dog walks, cooking and board games. They’re in the town of Lyme Regis and Stacie does feel like she knows the place and her dad has told her about her engagement to local lad Giles. She called the wedding off two weeks before the date and moved to Paris. Then something odd happens. Stacie is on the beach when she feels a sensation of being watched. Up on the promenade there is a woman staring at her with a fierce intent. She wonders if this is someone who knew her from before. So, she makes her way over, keeping a safe social distance and introduces herself, explaining that she might look a little different, because she’s had cancer. No, the woman says, you’re not Stacie. This is a moment where the hairs go up on the back of the neck, but we don’t know who the woman is or how well she knows Stacie and Kenneth. What possible reason could she have to confuse a woman who’s had cancer treatment and lost her memory?

I enjoyed having more input from the husbands and Kylie’s two stepsons this time around. The boys are incredibly loyal to her, despite being hurt by finding out about her second husband and let’s not forget, all of them are grieving. Daan Jaanssen also shows an incredible amount of loyalty and concern, especially considering he’s being charged with Kylie’s kidnap and murder. Does this mean he didn’t do it or is he putting up a smokescreen in the hope of walking free? Mark is angry and bitter, perhaps because he’s was her husband first. He is on the verge of making mistakes because of that anger. Seb and Ollie show maturity and enormous love beyond their years and put their own Dad to shame. The short, sharp chapters keep the momentum going and definitely have that ‘one more chapter’ addictive quality. Be prepared to set aside a day to finish it when you can’t put it down. This is definitely one of those sequels where you need to read the first novel, there’s a little bit of exposition about Kylie’s ordeal but not too much. The main question is what happened to her afterwards? Is she dead as the police think? This is a great thriller from Adele Parks and it made me feel back on track with loving her writing.

Meet the Author

Adele Parks MBE is the author of twenty-three bestselling novels including the recent Sunday Times hit Just Between Us and the audible Number One sensation One Last Secret. Over 5 million English editions of her work have been sold and she is translated into 31 different languages.

Her number one bestsellers Lies Lies Lies and Just My Luck were both shortlisted for the British Book Awards and have been optioned for development for film & TV.

41,000+ 5 star reviews have kindly been written by her fans on Amazon 🙂

She is an ambassador of the National Literacy Trust and the Reading Agency: two charities that promote literacy in the UK.

Adele was born in North Yorkshire and has lived in Botswana, Italy and London and is now settled in Guildford, Surrey.

In 2022 she was awarded an MBE by King Charles III for services to literature.

Connect with Adele Parks on Twitter @adeleparks, Instagram @adele_parks and Facebook @OfficialAdeleParks or visit her website for more information.

Posted in Netgalley, Publisher Proof

Profile K by Helen Fields 

Posted on by thelotusreaders

I’m going to say up front that I’m a massive Helen Fields fan, with The Last Girl to Die being a particular favourite of mine. Her last novel introduced us to the unusual and complex psychologist and profiler Dr. Connie Woolwine at The Institution. Connie makes a cameo here, but the undoubted heroine of this tale is Midnight Jones. Midnight lives with her twin sister Dawn ( see what the parents did there) and is her main carer, since their parents chose to go travelling when Midnight finished university. Dawn was affected by lack of oxygen at birth leading to Cerebral Palsy. It’s effects are very individual to the patient, but it can cause both physical and intellectual disabilities. Dawn is profoundly affected, needing care 24/7 and that’s why Midnight is desperate to keep her job at Necto. She needs their higher than average pay packet to cover the costs of care. The company like to present themselves as an ethical firm, starting with their space age offices, filled with plants and trees that help create a better work environment. They have their fingers in many pies, but Midnight is a profiler and every day works through thousands of applications for universities, the military and other organisations, passing some applicants through to be interviewed and rejecting others based on assessment data alone.

Necto’s testing systems are so sophisticated, there’s nothing about the applicant they don’t know. In assessments, virtual reality head sets show images and the applicants every response is recorded from intelligence to levels of empathy. Then, dependent on the parameters for the particular institution they’re applying to, they are accepted or not. However, on this particular day Midnight finds a candidate who isn’t run of the mill, in fact he’s a one-off. In training, a candidate like this is jokingly dubbed a ‘Profile K’- for killer – Midnight finds a man who has recorded as showing zero empathy. When she watches the footage he was shown through her own headset, she is sickened by what she sees. This is way beyond the normal films shown to illicit empathy, it’s as if the machine couldn’t get a reading so has chosen more and more disturbing and violent images that should provoke empathy and disgust. Yet none comes. Unable to compute the response and also where such extreme footage could have come from, Midnight decides to take this further but her supervisor Richard Baxter isn’t interested. So she goes over his head, telling his boss that she’s found a Profile K. Surely they have a duty to report him, what if he’s dangerous? What if he kills? 

I’ve read three great thrillers this weekend in quick succession but this was by far the most inventive, with a hint of dystopia and a touch of social justice that was right up my street. I empathised with Midnight’s situation, determined not to let down her sister Dawn but struggling to pay for just enough care that Midnight can go to work. There is no room for a social life or romance. Their heads are just above water, but there’s no flexibility or empathy for her care role within her company, despite it’s apparent ethics. She takes a big risk taking her findings higher than Richard Baxter, because if she loses her job how will she afford the care Dawn needs? Yet she can’t ignore what she knows. Especially when the worst happens. A young woman is killed very close to where she and Dawn live and although Midnight doesn’t know this at first, the torture methods used are very close to a scene from the film shown during the Profile K’s application process. The victim was subjected to the death of a thousand cuts, which would have been both a painful and long drawn out way to die. Midnight is horrified to find that her boss would rather keep her discovery under wraps and she’s reminded of her non-disclosure agreement. What reason could they have that’s better than saving the lives of future victims? Midnight has read about the psychologist and profiler Dr Connie Woolwine and has a theory to run past someone with her expertise. Not expecting a response, she sends a message and is pleasantly surprised when the unusual doctor calls her late at night to talk it through. Midnight is scared of the consequences, but sure of her theory – could Necto have known about the Profile K? What if they showed the violent material on purpose to trigger a response? To turn someone with killer potential into a killer for real. 

I absolutely loved this belting thriller, because it was complex and intelligent but also full of human feeling. I guess this might sound strange when there’s quite graphic violence involved in some scenes, but they’re balanced by the pure depth of feeling Midnight has for her sister and later on for the elderly lady they begin a friendship with. I loved how authentic Midnight’s caring situation was, with a very clear struggle between wanting to provide the best help for someone she loves but feeling the fear of that sole responsibility. The anger she feels towards her parents is very real, because although she understands their need to follow their dreams, their freedom has curtailed her own. She can’t make any life decision without factoring Dawn in. How could she have a romantic relationship? What if she falls ill herself? Having been a carer I know how lonely and exhausting it can be. We can see the pull between home and work life, in that they both hinder and are dependent on each other. Parts of the book are genuinely terrifying. There is a scene that’s going to stay with me, like that episode of Luther where a woman gets undressed and climbs into bed followed by a ceiling shot where a man slowly slides out from underneath as if he’s been working under a car. It’s that combination of vulnerability and evil. We’ve all done that walk home where we get inside and lock the door, then take a deep breath and know we’re safe. To be attacked in that moment is heart-stoppingly scary! In the end, everything had to stop for those final chapters as I raced through to find out what happens. I was glued to these scenes, made all the more terrifying because the victim doesn’t have a clue how much danger she’s in. It’s one of those finales where I put the book down and realised every muscle in my body was tense! I needed some yoga stretches and a few episodes of Friday Night Dinner before bed to unwind. This is an absolute cracker of a read and I highly recommend it.

Published by Avon 25th April 2024

Meet the Author

A Sunday Times and million copy best-selling author, Helen is a former criminal and family law barrister. Every book in the Callanach series has claimed an Amazon #1 bestseller flag. ‘Perfect Kill’ was longlisted for the Crime Writers Association Ian Fleming Steel Dagger in 2020, and others have been longlisted for the McIlvanney Prize, Scottish crime novel of the year. Helen also writes as HS Chandler, and has released legal thriller ‘Degrees of Guilt’. In 2020 Perfect Remains was shortlisted for the Bronze Bat, Dutch debut crime novel of the year. In 2022, Helen was nominated for Best Crime Novel and Best Author in the Netherlands. Now translated into more than 20 languages, and also selling in the USA, Canada & Australasia, Helen’s books have won global recognition. She has written standalone novels, The Institution, The Last Girl To Die, These Lost & Broken Things and The Shadow Man. She regularly commutes between West Sussex, USA and Scotland. Helen can be found on X @Helen_Fields.

Posted in Netgalley, Publisher Proof

Nightwatching by Tracy Sierra

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Yesterday upon the stair I met a man who wasn’t there,

He wasn’t there again today, oh how I wish he’d go away.

Antagonish by Hugo Mearns

My grandad taught me the first few lines of the poem above. I think it appealed to his sense of humour. I thought it was a riddle and I used to ask ‘but is he there or not?’ This is the very question this whole book revolves around from the first line – ‘there is someone in the house’. Our unnamed narrator wakes in the night as a strange noise breaks through her sleep. I was told by a book reviewer I respect enormously that this was brilliant and she was absolutely right. Although I drove my husband crazy by waking him up to ask if he remembered locking the door. He hadn’t always and I knew I wouldn’t sleep until one of us had crept downstairs and checked. Preferably not me. This is the situation all of us dread, waking to that unexpected noise in the night and finding there is an intruder. Our narrator is at her secluded home with her two small children in a blizzard. The sound she hears is a familiar one, a tread on the stairs to her room, but it’s unusually heavy and slow. She has a split second to make the decision – does she hide, try to run or stay and fight. Will all three of them get out alive and if they do will anyone believe her?

The first thing that hit me about this book was the unique voice this mother has. We see everything through her eyes and experience everything her body goes through – mainly fear. There’s the heart-stopping tension of that first night, the immediate threat rendering everything else unimportant. Yet there are other fears lurking underneath – will the police believe her, will it stir up questions about her husband’s absence, what will her father-in-law make of what has happened? She is waiting for people to doubt her and the reader doubts her too. Always on the lookout for unreliable narrators, I did wonder whether I should trust what she was experiencing. It’s just so incredibly odd. This tall intruder seems to have two voices: a raspy harsh voice when he’s angry then more of a soft, weedling voice. A voice you might use for children as he asks them to ‘come out little pigs, little pigs are more delicious’. As he does this right next door to their hiding place, it’s even more terrifying. Her little girl whispers to her mum that it’s the ‘Corner Man’ from her nightmares, he sits in the corner of her bedroom at night and whispers to her. My heart was in my throat at this point! Was he real or something supernatural? Could he possibly be real if this is true? I wondered if this overwrought mother is imagining this person, but that opens up a more frightening prospect – is she hallucinating and terrorising her own children with her delusions? The author plays with the reader beautifully. Just as I was starting to think the narrator is completely crazy, she addressed my concerns.

‘How nice it would be to be crazy instead of correct. For t all to be a psychotic break. To have her husband come down those stairs. She’d pop out of the hidden place relieved – rated – to meet his look of confusion’.

This is a woman who is used to being misunderstood and there’s no shortage of men around, happy to convince her that she’s strange, hysterical and marked as different in some way. There’s an awful moment, recalled while hiding, when her husband told his father he was not going to continue studying law. She hears his father’s fury down the phone:

‘You never behaved this way before you met that girl. Christ. She’s disfigured’.

Our narrator has vitiligo – a long term skin condition where areas of skin lose melanin and become paler, creating a patchy complexion. People stare and perhaps mistrust her, worried they may catch a skin disease or worse. Added to this, she’s a newish mum full of hormones, perhaps she’s a bit anxious and over-protective. She’s recently bereaved, having nursed her terminally ill mother-in-law. Maybe she’s not in the best frame of mind. All of this and the fact that she’s a woman, mean the police will be unsure or just plain rude about her. They keep explaining there’s no evidence: no footsteps in the snow; nothing of any value is stolen – in fact the items she does mention are probably lose or mislaid by the children. They don’t sound like the type of things someone would steal. They’ll turn up.

While hiding from one monster, we learn that she’s battling another in the shape of her father-in-law. Honestly, I have never wanted to climb into a book and punch someone more. He is a bully, but everyone else placates him. He is ashamed of his son, even more ashamed of his disfigured daughter-in-law. He hates the noise of his newborn grandson and his wife apologises! Even while his wife is dying, he sits with his feet up watching television and creates holy hell if he’s disturbed. His daughter-in-law does all the work and is rarely appreciated or thanked. He wants his grandson to man up and stop being a wuss. Worst of all he’s aggressive, violent even. Having him in charge of her children is the worst outcome of all. This mother is also fiercely protective. A passing incident where a stranger commented on her daughter and pulled the drooping strap of her sundress back onto her shoulder, really bothers the mother. You can feel her hackles rising in much the same way she reacts when her father-in-law criticises her son. She has very keen instincts and it’s fascinating to see how those instincts can be eroded, mainly by men who still consider women a hair’s breadth away from hysteria and the asylum. It shows that we’re not just gaslighted by individuals, it can be institutional, perpetuated by organisations like the police force or as I’ve found in my own life, the medical profession.

The whole setting is brilliantly eerie. A secluded mansion house with woods behind and five acres of open pasture between them and the next house. The house was built in 1722 with two staircases, higgledy-piggledy rooms and even it’s very own graveyard. She loves the house, even though it’s totally impractical and a nightmare to heat. She’s got to know each creak and bang, it’s night noises, but never imagined when she viewed the house that she’d be fleeing into the secret space next to the chimney, where the builders walled in the labyrinthine brick work. They never imagined being walled in. It’s a place where ghostly presences and hidden secrets would be easy to believe. Yet it’s not all scary. There are some wonderfully tender moments between the mother and her children and we can feel how torn she is when she has to be sharp with them, to keep them quiet and safe. I had no idea where this story might go and the author was one step ahead of me all the way. I might have finished this incredible thriller, but I’m still carefully locking the doors at night and when the cat decided she’d rattle our door to upstairs at 3am my heart did beat a little faster. I can’t believe how assured and psychologically complex it was for a debut! If you only buy one thriller this year, make it this one.

Out now from Viking

Meet the Author

Tracy Sierra was born and raised in the Colorado mountains. She currently lives in New England in an antique colonial-era home complete with its own secret room. When not writing, she works as an attorney and spends time with her husband, two children, and flock of chickens. Nightwatching is her debut novel.

Posted in Netgalley, Personal Purchase

The Star and the Strange Moon by Constance Sayers.

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Constance Sayer’s latest book has a lot of her literary trademarks: time slip narratives; a mystery to solve; magic realism and romance. She places her story in the world of Hollywood and film-making, with two main characters – the actress Gemma Turner and young film-maker Chris Kent. In 1968 Gemma is staying in London with her rock star lover Charlie Hicks when she is offered an unexpected film opportunity. Until now Gemma has been making a series of surfing films based in California, but she’s been longing to make something that has more critical acclaim. French director Thierry Valden is part of the nouvelle vague or new wave movement and has offered her the lead role in his next film L’Etrange Lune a vampire film set in 19th Century France. He seems open to changes and often works with improvisation so her long held skills as a writer might be needed too. However, when she gets to Thierry’s chateau the mood seems to have changed. She is greeted by Manon Valden, who warns Gemma off her husband immediately which isn’t very welcoming. Thierry doesn’t seem like the man she met before and when she reads the up to date script it still has the same stilted dialogue, despite the potential changes she had sent him. When she finally speaks to Thierry alone, he makes it clear that something has changed. He had envisioned more of a collaboration both on the script and possibly in the bedroom, but L’Etrange Lune will be his final film and he can’t afford to take risks. Gemma will have other opportunities for scriptwriting but he won’t. The next day as they’re filming in the nearby town of Amboise, Gemma has a scene where she runs down a darkened and cobbled alleyway, seconds after calling action the camera has suddenly lost her. Has she fallen on the cobbles? Are the dark shadows concealing her? Maybe she’s walked off in a huff. Yet it seems Gemma is genuinely gone and as they look back over the scene on film, frame by frame, she’s simply disappeared in front of their eyes.

Christopher Kent has had a strange fascination with the actress Gemma Turner since he was a child. Now at film school in 2007, his attachment to the actress stands out because she was never one of the greats – students aren’t usually hung up on obscure actresses from a handful of surf films. He remembers the day he first saw her, in a hotel where vintage black and white photos of actors were hung next to every door. In a very chaotic and traumatic childhood, this was one of those moments where he and his mum were without a roof over their heads. Chris could sense his mum was edgy and on the verge of a mood change, but as they approached their room and she saw the photo by the door she flew into a rage. She pulled the picture of Gemma Turner off the wall and smashed it, shouting personal insults and expletives. What was her link to the actress? Knowing Chris’s fascination with Gemma, his girlfriend and fellow student Ivy comes to him with a strange proposition. Every ten years Gemma’s final film, L’Etrange Lune, is shown to a select group of 65 guests at a randomly chosen cinema. Ivy’s father is one of the 65, but for this viewing he has offered Ivy his two place. They must wear a mask and cloak, but most importantly of all they must never approach or try to identify other members, nor can they talk about what they’ve seen. Chris doesn’t know what to make of the film. It seems to be a rather formulaic vampire movie, but there’s something odd about Gemma’s performance, almost haunting in fact. While in some places it’s fairly average, in other scenes there’s an incredible intensity to her acting. It’s almost as if she’s genuinely terrified.

I found the book a little slow at first, but once we reached Gemma’s disappearance I was hooked by this strange story. As we reach Gemma’s timeline in France and Chris starts investigating her disappearance several decades later, the pace of both timelines really picks up. There are suddenly enough strange and impossible happenings for the reader to start wondering what’s coming next. To be honest it felt like anything might happen! I loved the sense of evil created by the film – the strange melancholy that falls over those who see it, something that worsens if you keep going back every ten years. The rumours that the film changes in that decade are intriguing and suggest someone is still behind the lens. Could one of the 65 be playing tricks on the rest? Perhaps not letting on they have extra scenes that Thierry discarded, or that they have found an actress who is the double of Gemma Turner. Is something magical at work here? Despite all the warnings, I did understand Chris’s need to investigate, even when those he interviews start to feel the consequences of talking. This is such a clever concept and the author creates a real sense of mystery with wonderful period detail, especially in the 19th Century when there’s much discussion on the restriction and discomfort of women’s fashion especially in the summer. I also enjoyed 1960’s London where Gemma’s lover Charlie is part of a Fleetwood Mac-esque band where partners are swapped as readily as song lyrics. There’s even a very unexpected romance woven within this magical and unexpected series of times and worlds. What I wanted to see more than anything was for Chris to overcome the trauma of his childhood and fulfil his potential, wherever and whenever that might be.

Out in paperback from Piatkus 28th March 2024

Meet the Author

Constance Sayers is the author of A Witch in Time, The Ladies of the Secret Circus, and The Star and the Strange Moon from Hachette Book Group.

A finalist for Alternating Current’s Luminaire Award for Best Prose, her short fiction has been nominated for the Pushcart Prize and Best of the Net.

She received her master of arts in English from George Mason University and graduated magna cum laude with a bachelor of arts in writing from the University of Pittsburgh. She attended The Bread Loaf Writers Conference where she studied with Charles Baxter and Lauren Groff. A media executive, she’s twice been named one of the “Top 100 Media People in America” by Folio and included in their list of “Top Women in Media.”

She splits her time between Alexandria, Virginia and West Palm Beach, Florida.