Tag: Identity

Posted in Netgalley

Lights Out by Louise Swanson

Posted on by thelotusreaders

The Government have declared a state of emergency in this tense and thought provoking thriller from Louise Swanson. They’re introducing a temporary policy of electricity rationing, so at 8pm every night the lights and all other electrical power will turn off. For Grace this is her worst nightmare, because she’s terrified of the dark and no reassurance or safety measure from her husband is going to change that. She knows that at some point she will be forced to face the dark alone. An experience of being enclosed in the dark as a child has left it’s mark. All she can do is take as many night shifts at the hospital as possible, where they’re exempt from the switch off. In the house she will have to carry a torch and try to be alone as little as possible. When the switch off comes it’s effects are worse than she could possibly have imagined. Someone is coming into her home. Late at night when she’s shivering under the covers, too scared to move. Someone is leaving behind strange gifts – a third goldfish is swimming beside Brad and Jennifer in the bowl, a horrible painting of a dragon has replaced her own photo on the stairs, a pair of candlesticks in the kitchen. With them he leaves a strange and unsettling note: 

‘I have you in my sights. Love, the Night.’

Where can Grace feel safe if not in her own home? She’s an interesting character, clearly badly affected by childhood trauma and the memories of her previous, abusive relationship. The author opens with a first person account of being locked in a small pitch black space, it’s so vivid I could feel her fear. Grace tells us she was locked in a cupboard by the other children at school, where they continue taunting her until she wets herself. Since then she has always kept the lights on after dark and her partner sleeps in an eye mask to avoid the constant light. She also works at night where she can and sleeps in the day at home. She works as a carer in the hospice, spending a lot of time sitting beside those who are close to death, once her other tasks are completed. She didn’t go to university because she had a baby boy while very young and he has recently left home to live with his partner. Grace moved in with her own boyfriend and he has promised to be home in time for first big switch off. However, when she’s counting down the minutes, torch in hand, her partner is nowhere to be seen. 

The author shows brilliantly how even a strong and capable woman can be triggered by something that others barely notice. She touches on how the lights out policy affects the wider population – hypothermia in the elderly, rotting food defrosting and causing waste, a rise in crime. For others the lack of power has some positives, people can’t hide or be distracted by screens and communication within families will improve. Grace has been a single mum and she works well with people who are dying, so we know she isn’t scared of the big stuff. So why has one experience from childhood left such a huge impression? Her mother had always hoped she’d grow out of it and now the twelve hours of darkness must surely mean she must face the fear? It’s like state sponsored exposure therapy. Then ‘the night’ starts visiting and suddenly the dark covers up worse fears, new ones that are very real indeed. Even worse, her night visitor isn’t breaking in, so surely they must have a key. She is unsure how to deal with it and ringing the police is pointless when they’re dealing with a darkness induced crime wave. 

In between Grace’s sections of the story we meet a man who is in therapy. He left me feeling very on edge and I found myself wondering how I’d react if he were my client. He seems very unaware how counselling works, despite it being a fairly common concept these days. He also responds strangely to the therapist’s standard introduction. He fidgets, stands and paces round the room and I was uneasy on the therapist’s behalf. He seemed agitated. He’s convinced that his girlfriend is seeing another man. Is he paranoid? We have no idea how he fits into the story, but I was intrigued by him. Grace’s world becomes even more confusing when someone from her past turns up at the hospice as a patient. She knows she should disclose their connection, but if she does she knows she won’t be able to work with them. She decides to keep it to herself so she can sit with them. What clues, if any, might they have about her childhood and could what they know help her fear of the dark? As the pages turned I became more and more suspicious of her partner. Never home when he says he will be, distracted and very unsympathetic. I didn’t like him from the start and wondered if he was exercising coercive control over her. The moments when she’s under the covers with her heart racing as she hears her intruder moving around downstairs are truly terrifying. Yet he doesn’t seem malicious. He seemed to enjoy her fear and I even wondered if the night was closer to home than she thought. The truth was even stranger than expected and I found myself rooting for Grace, wanting her to get some resolution about her night visitor but also more long term relief from her phobia. That could only come from openness and facing the truth of her childhood and that time in the pitch dark cupboard. This is an enjoyable thriller with interesting insights on how childhood trauma affects us and how early relationships can inform the attachments we form in later life. 

Out Now from Hodder and Stoughton

Meet the Author

Louise Swanson’s debut, End of Story, was written during the final lockdown of 2020 – also following a family tragedy, it offered refuge in the fiction she created. The themes of the book – grief, isolation, love of the arts, the power of storytelling – came from a very real place. The second Swanson book will arrive in hardback and eBook spring 2024. Watch this space. 

Swanson, a mother of two who lives in East Yorkshire with her husband, regularly blogs, talks at events, and is a huge advocate of openly discussing mental health and suicide.

She also writes as Louise Beech. Beech’s nine books have won the Best magazine Book of the Year 2019, shortlisted for the Romantic Novel of the Year, longlisted for the Polari Prize, and been a Clare Mackintosh Book Club Pick. Her memoir, Daffodils, was released in audiobook in 2022, and the paperback version, Eighteen Seconds, in April 2023..

Posted in Netgalley

The Blue Hour by Paula Hawkins

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Set on an isolated Scottish island called Eris, where the mainland is only accessible at high tide, an infamous artist has retreated from the world. Twenty years ago Vanessa’s notoriously unfaithful husband visited the island then went missing. After Vanessa’s death, the island became the home of local GP Grace, often referred to as Vanessa’s companion or friend. However, all her artworks were left to an art foundation set up by her first agent. The curator of the foundation is Becker, hired for his expertise in Vanessa’s work. He is under pressure from the new owner to extract the last of Vanessa’s work from Eris. They have tried polite enquiries, legal letters and ultimatums but they are sure this has all been in vain and that Grace is deliberately holding back. Now a situation has arisen with one of Vanessa’s found object installations already on display in the gallery. A visiting doctor is convinced that the bone suspended in a glass box is human. They withdraw the box from view and contemplate having to break it open to have the bone properly tested. The unspoken thought on everyone’s mind is whether this might solve the mystery of Vanessa’s missing husband? It’s an opportunity for Becker to tell Grace face to face, but also to address the missing works that must be on Eris. He feels this is the best way forward; a last ditch attempt before legal action. However, visiting Eris is not without it’s risks. Are all of it’s secrets and lies about to be uncovered. 

I’ve been waiting to love a Paula Hawkins novel ever since the brilliant The Girl on the Train, which was THE novel to be reading when it first came out. It was a successful film too, even though I felt it lost something when transferred to America rather than it’s London setting. Her following novels haven’t really stayed with me in the same way, even though they were page turners. This story really did grab me. I love reading about the lives of authors and artists, because they’re always interesting characters with depth and complexity. They also usually have atmospheric settings with the sort of rambling houses I dreamed of living in when I was little. This had all three and I truly couldn’t put it down, choosing it over TV in the evening and going to be early with it too. The story was intriguing too, with the mystery of the human bone to be solved but also the missing works of art, not to mention Vanessa’s husband. Vanessa has always insisted he left the island and his wallet was found washed up near the causeway suggesting his leaving was ill-timed and the tide came in as he was crossing. Becker is torn. He knows that they must test the bone, but he feels sick at the thought of destroying one of Vanessa’s works in the process. His boss agrees that he must travel to Eris to discuss it with Grace in person and take the opportunity to bring back any works he finds that should be in the gallery. 

I loved the complicated relationships in this story. Even Becker is in a strange relationship triangle. He arrived at the foundation specifically look after Vanessa’s legacy, but there was more change when Vanessa’s agent died and the house, grounds and art foundation passed from father to son. Also left behind were his frail and elderly wife and his son’s fiancée Helen. Becker was immediately attracted to Helen and to his surprise his feelings were reciprocated. This ultimately resulted in Helen leaving her fiancé for Becker and moving to his cottage on the estate. They are now married and Helen is pregnant with their first child. Becker had expected to lose his job over the affair, but his new boss was surprisingly gracious. Becker is from a modest background and he sometimes can’t believe that Helen chose him, besides her ongoing friendship with her ex-fiancé leaves him uneasy. This is a man who has everything and now he must leave Helen in his hands, so he’s feeling very conflicted about his trip to Eris. 

Grace is absolutely fascinating and her relationship with Vanessa is complex. She is aggrieved that Vanessa ‘left her with nothing’ neatly ignoring the fact that she now owns the house and island. The foundation’s position is that Grace has withheld certain paintings, sketches and Vanessa’s diaries. She comes across as a borderline personality. Her early experiences have left her feeling unwanted and inadequate leaving her unable to form healthy relationships. In order to be accepted she has learned to blend her personality to fit whoever she’s with, but sadly has no idea who she really is. When she wants to form an attachment she makes herself indispensable to the other person. In Vanessa’s case she becomes quietly present, in the background preparing meals, cleaning the house and making sure Vanessa has all the conditions she needs in order to create. In her way she feels she has contributed to the works Vanessa produces. There is no word for what Grace is – friend or companion is the usual – but really she’s like a servant, always anticipating their mistress’s needs. Most of the time she feels indispensable to Vanessa, but occasionally she is displaced from her position, by the latest lover or her ex-husband popping in and monopolising Vanessa, until she abandons work and spends time with him, often not leaving the bed for the duration of his visit. Grace hates him, often retreating to her cottage across the causeway until she sees his little red sports car departing the village. Then there are heated arguments and recriminations over his visit until the pair settle once more into their usual routine. Grace fears abandonment. She remembers the relief she felt when she found her tribe at university only to return home from lectures one day and find that her two friends have moved out of their shared house without even a note. As the village GP Grace is clearly intelligent and skilled but I worried about her access to vulnerable patients. I couldn’t decide whether she was a tragic figure, or a sinister one. 

Vanessa could be volatile. Her tempestuous friendship with her agent was well known and friends were surprised that she left him such a huge bequest on her death. Her marriage was also a rollercoaster of ups and downs, both of them drawn to each other but utterly incapable of living together. Could one of their legendary fights have gone wrong? As Becker arrives on Eris a battle of wills develops between him and Grace and secrets will out. The author keeps you guessing; is Grace the victim or persecutor? Is she holding on to the diaries because they incriminate Vanessa? Or is she trying to preserve the memories of her life with her friend, in the only place where Grace has felt like she’s home? The author pitched the tension perfectly and I devoured the final third of the book. We move between Becker’s narrative and Grace’s, alongside excerpts from Vanessa’s diary where each excerpt or reminiscence reveals about her clue or changes the story dramatically. Above it all is the artist – a figure we might imagine we know through their work, but art can be a mask, just a way of painting over the cracks. The diaries offer a less curated Vanessa, as well as the raw and unvarnished truth. Eris stands above all as a mystical landscape, like one of those places in a horror film that you can never leave no matter how hard you try. This was a brilliant thriller where you’re never sure about the truth until the very end.

Out Now from Doubleday

Meet the Author

PAULA HAWKINS worked as a journalist for fifteen years before writing her first novel. Born and brought up in Zimbabwe, Paula moved to London in 1989. Her first thriller, The Girl on the Train, has sold more than 23 million copies worldwide. Published in over fifty languages, it has been a Number 1 bestseller around the world and was a box office hit film starring Emily Blunt.

Paula’s thrillers, Into the Water and A Slow Fire Burning, were also instant Number 1 bestsellers.

Posted in Personal Purchase

By Any Other Name by Jodi Picoult

Posted on by thelotusreaders

In Manhattan, Melina Green finds out that women’s voices are worth less than a man’s. Theatre critic Jasper Tolle eviscerates a play she has entered into a competition and it knocks her confidence so badly she finds it difficult to get her theatre career off the ground. Years later, her best friend Andre encourages her to write about her ancestor, 16th Century poet Emilia Bassano. Emilia has been described as the ‘dark lady’ of Shakespeare’s sonnets. Melina is inspired, furiously researching Emilia’s life and the possibility that she might have written for the stage, despite it being banned in Elizabethan England. She then wonders if she used a pseudonym or submitted her work under another playwright. Melina starts to read about the Shakespeare conspiracy – what if the bard didn’t write all those incredible plays after all? There are many theories out there about who could have written them, but what if the playwright was Emilia? Melina is inspired, ferociously writing her play. Andre is also inspired, after they celebrate her finishing the play and Melina sleeps, he decides to enter the play into a festival taking place ‘off off Broadway’. Cleverly deleting the last few letters of her name he enters it with the more ambiguous Mel Green. Could this be her big break and her chance to prove that women writers are still sidelined, even in the 21st Century? 

I’m a huge fan of Jodi Picoult and I met her when she was in the UK promoting her book Sing You Home. Her books usually follow a pattern of presenting controversial issues -abortion, racism, the Holocaust – then testing them through the legal process. The first book that really caught the UK imagination was My Sister’s Keeper where a young girl takes her parents to court for medical autonomy, after she has donated blood and bone marrow to her sister with leukaemia. She’s had no say in these medical procedures and feels like she’s spare parts for her sister. This new novel is a complete departure from this tradition and it reads like a labour of love. I collected my copy from The Rabbit Hole Bookshop in Brigg and had read several chapters while we drove to Liverpool. Picoult has a brilliant way of drawing you straight into the character’s world and this book is no exception, despite it spanning several centuries. Picoult’s best novels are the ones where she can touch on her Jewish heritage such as one of my favourites, The Storyteller. This has definitely played a part here and the passion with which she tells Emilia’s story makes everything come alive. 

Emilia is the sort of character I fall in love with. She’s determined, intelligent and dreams of being much more than women are allowed to be. Life deals her a terrible hand at times, but she tries to make the best of it. Sometimes she’s desperately struggling to survive and other times she’s living in the lap of luxury. Historically we only know fragments of Emilia’s life but she is mentioned in an article written by Elizabeth Winkler entitled ‘Was Shakespeare a Woman?’ We know that Emilia was from a Jewish family who kept up a pretence of Christianity outside their home. They were court musicians under Elizabeth I which dragged Emilia into the fringes of court life. Most information on her comes from the diary of Simon Forman who was an astrologer/doctor and he describes her as a woman who is sexually progressive and has one illegitimate child. He describes her as the paramour of Lord Hunsdon until she became pregnant and was then married off to a minstrel. Hunsdon was Lord Chamberlain with responsibility for entertainment and the theatre. Foreman describes her as beautiful and intelligent, but gives her the sad news that she will become pregnant again, but will miscarry. Picoult uses these small facts and others she’s found to flesh out this fascinating woman and pose the theory that she could, at least in part, have written the plays attributed to Shakespeare. The page is the only place where Emilia has any power or agency. She was brought up by a countess away from her family, the head of the family then sells her to Hunsdon as a courtesan and then to the minstrel Alphonso who squanders all of the money Hunsdon settled on her. Could this lack of agency have possibly create female characters with the sass of Beatrice, the adventurer in Viola, the manipulative and power hungry Lady MacBeth or the shrewish Katherine? 

There is so much to love here, from Emilia’s personal story with it’s twists and turns, to the fascinating possibility that Shakespeare is merely a front  rather than our greatest ever playwright. I enjoyed the idea of this woman who occupies a liminal space in so many ways: Italian by descent batt living in England; living humbly but entertaining the dazzling heights of Elizabeth’s court; Jewish but masquerading as Christians; living a rich lifestyle with Hunsdon but in the precarious position of a courtesan; a woman hiding her immense talent behind a man. Every single part of her life is a masquerade, in fact there are only two men she is herself with. She lets go with her secret lover Southampton and her great friend Kit Marlow – a friendship that beautifully echoes Melina and Andre’s relationship centuries later. Picoult’s skill in setting a scene takes us directly into Elizabethan London and we see the city at it’s extremes due to Emilia’s huge changes in fortune. The house she grows up in is a far cry from the humble home of her family and Hunsdon’s home is grander still. Then what follows are terrible years of hardship and violence, where she’s little more than a servant. They have very little to eat and we really see the squalor and poverty of the capital in those moments. I enjoyed the idea of literary salons as a space where women can freely share their talent and it’s only her position as Hunsdon’s mistress that gives her access to contemporaries like Spenser, Jonson and Marlow. I felt like even if the reader doesn’t agree with Picoult’s theory on Shakespeare her evidence is compelling and you realise she loves Britain and it’s literary tradition. 

The modern day narrative does pose some interesting questions about authorship, especially the opportunities for women. As someone who reads female authors the majority of the time it seems like the opportunities are there at first glance. Yet I took on board all the points made here, how in a commercial space it’s hard as a woman to secure financial backing for their creative ideas. Especially where those who hold the purse strings are men. Although I was interested in Melina’s story I didn’t feel as connected to her as a character in the same way I did with Emilia. When the historical story is so dramatic and heartfelt it can overshadow the present day narrative. Overall though I loved this book and it’s up there with my favourites of the year so far. I felt completely transported to Elizabethan London. As for the premise, it’s an interesting one and the afterword brilliantly backs up her theory with points from her background research. It certainly gave me something to think about where Shakespeare is concerned. I could see why people question his authorship, but I can also see the all the reasons why such claims are rubbished and denied. What I’m taking away though is what an incredible woman Emilia was, with or without the possibility she was a playwright. I’ll definitely enjoy exploring around the subject further and I know this is a book I’ll be re-reading in the future.

Published 10th October by Penguin

Meet the Author

Jodi Picoult is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of twenty-nine novels, including Mad Honey, Wish You Were Here, The Book of Two Ways, A Spark of Light, Small Great Things, Leaving Time, and My Sister’s Keeper, and, with daughter Samantha van Leer, two young adult novels, Between the Lines and Off the Page. Picoult lives in New Hampshire.

Follow Jodi Picoult on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Twitter: @jodipicoult

Posted in Random Things Tours

Dark as Night: Forbidden Iceland 4 by Lilja Sigurdardóttir

Posted on by thelotusreaders

I always look forward to a new book in the incredible Àrora series and this one really delivers! It takes two long-standing mysteries in the novels and sheds new light on everything we thought we knew. The disappearance of Àrora’s sister was the only reason she came to Iceland from the UK. She works as a financial investigator, usually in the area of tax. She’s built a life here, including a relationship with detective Daniel. Now she’s contacted by a woman who says her young daughter has memories of being Arora’s sister Isafold and they’d like to meet with her. Àrora is a straightforward and rational woman, but I remembered those lonely months where she trawled old lava flows with a drone, based on nothing but a feeling. She knows that Isafold is dead but finding her has been a compulsion for so long. How can she ignore what this little girl has to say? Lady Gugulu has been living in Daniel’s garage conversion for a long time. Once a science student and potential academic, he leads a quiet life and makes his money performing as a drag artiste. He and Daniel have become close so he’s shocked to find that his tenant has suddenly vacated the garage without a forwarding address. When three men turn up, Daniel has a sense that they’re investigators or secret service. Whoever they are, they’re leaving no stone unturned. A black eye and split lip later, he enlists Àrora to look into his friend’s finances in the hope of finding his whereabouts.

In turn Daniel convinces his superiors to take another look at the missing person case opened on Isafold and her violent boyfriend, nicknamed the ‘Ice Bear’. He also wants to look into the parents and background of the little girl who knows things only those closest to Àrora and her sister would know. How does she know these details and could she possibly be genuine? I loved how the author played with doubt and belief when it came to this little girl. Àrora is very shocked that she knows Bjorn’s nickname and that their father called Àrora his troll girl and Isafold his elf girl. Their father was a weight trainer and Àrora definitely took after him. She still trains and is currently trying to increase her lifting weight. She’s been having steroid injections but knows they’re having an affect on her libido and emotions. She’s been irritable and takes her moods out on Daniel at times. Now she’s transfixed by the little girl and genuinely feels like she’s back with her sister when they meet. Every time they talk I felt she left Àrora on a cliffhanger. Just when Àrora is trying to stay rational, she reveals something that only Isafold could know, even confirming that Àrora is right and her sister is lying in black lava. Daniel is sceptical and suspects the parents of coaching their daughter. He brings in a child psychologist and I was absolutely glued to their session, dying to see what would come next with so many unexpected twists! 

I’d always been intrigued by Daniel’s lodger but I’d never imagined this background and I was so worried for him. Having been treated to a second visit from the men in black, Daniel knows he’s dealing with either foreign agents or interpol. The best thing is to put Àrora on the trail and as she sets off to the Canary Islands to talk to Lady Gugulu’s mother. She’s suspects he’s used several identities over the years, but what exactly is he running from? As the men in black turn over the whole garage, Daniel gets the feeling they’re not just looking for his friend, they’re looking for something. It’s great to see Daniel and Àrora going the extra mile for each other in their investigations. There’s an incredible trust built up between them, because these people are so precious to them and the outcome of the investigations could be life-changing. They’re also confronting a reality that stretches their credulity: Daniel has to suspend his disbelief around all things mystical. He sets out expecting to find a rational explanation for the little girl’s apparently supernatural knowledge, treating the family as suspects rather than witnesses. I was glued to this part of the story, truly expecting evidence that they were scamming Àrora in some way. Similarly the revelation that Lady Gugulu has been on the run from the authorities is utterly unexpected. Daniel’s always known that his friend was intelligent but as Àrora starts to uncover an academic background at Oxbridge and a very unexpected career path Daniel has to accept the possibility that his friend is not what he seemed. As he says, it’s as if he has James Bond on his trail. It was lovely to spend some time with a character who always been in the background up till now. I enjoyed learning about his academic and romantic past, moving beyond his sexuality and drag persona. He proves himself incredible resourceful and resilient on this journey and my admiration for him grew enormously. 

This was an enthralling addition to the Forbidden Iceland series. I loved that the author isn’t easy on her heroine, allowing the reader to see her flaws and her vulnerabilities and how they drive her actions. She’s a proper three dimensional character and hard to like in parts, particularly in the way she treats Daniel. Although, their teamwork is incredible and their ability to lean on and trust each other speaks volumes. We all know thrillers that are addictive at the time, but instantly forgettable. Here the writing was tense and addictive, but the deep and intelligent characters stay with you. The unifying story across all these novels has been Àrora’s loss of her sister so to see her search potentially moving forward was quite emotional. While someone is missing there’s always an element of hope and this is the first breakthrough in a long search. This could tip Àrora and her mother from hope, into the depths of grief. It also opens up the question of Àrora’s prolonged stay in Iceland which might come to an end if Isafold is found. The little girl who holds all this potential knowledge is a fascinating character, beautifully written with a feeling of the uncanny and otherworldly about her. Could she genuinely hold the key to Isafold’s disappearance? A strange separate narrative that’s unattributed took me all the way back to the first book and a potential clue about what might have happened to Àrora’s sister. I didn’t want to put this book down at any point. It is simply the best so far in a series that gets better and better. 

Published by Orenda Books 10th October 2024

Meet the Author

Icelandic crime-writer Lilja Sigurdardottir was born in the town of Akranes in 1972 and raised in Mexico, Sweden, Spain and Iceland. An award-winning playwright and screenwriter, Lilja has written eleven crime novels, many of which have been translated into multiple languages and hitting bestseller lists worldwide. Lilja has won The Icelandic Performing Arts Award for ‘Best Play of the Year’, The Icelandic Crime Fiction Awards twice, been longlisted for the CWA International Dagger, been shortlisted for the prestigious Glass Key Award twice and had a Guardian Book of the Year. The film rights for the Reykjavik Noir trilogy (Snare, Trap and Cage) have been bought by Palomar Pictures in California. She lives in Reykjavík, Iceland, with her partner but also spends considerable time in Scotland.

Posted in Netgalley

The Glass Maker by Tracey Chevalier

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Orsola is the spirited teenage daughter of the Rosso family, all glassmakers from the tiny Venetian island of Murano. She’s very young when she sees her father bleed out in the workshop after he’s struck in the neck by a shard of glass while making pieces for a chandelier. Out of his two sons, the youngest is quiet, solid and dependable and would have made the perfect maestro, while his eldest Marco is loud, egotistical and very proud of his skill with glass. Now the entire family’s fortunes lie on his shoulders as the eldest always inherits the title of maestro from their father. He needs to support everyone from his widowed mother Laura and her youngest daughter Stella. His promotion leaves room for another servente to become the apprenticed glassmaker, second only to the maestro. In an unusual move Marco employs Antonio, originally a fisherman he has always wanted to work with glass. For Orsola it is love at first sight. Meanwhile, she is looking for ways to supplement the family’s income and visits their patron and merchant, a Dutchman called Klingenhorn. He suggests that she approach the only female glassmaker in the city to teach her how to make glass beads over a heated lamp. Once her beads are of the right quality, Klingenhorn agrees to place an order and she sets to work with determination. Orsola is our window on the Rosso family and she imparts both their history and the history of the island with it’s amazing glassmaking heritage. It is a history filled with love, passion, duty, tragedy and ingenuity, plus a little touch of the magic that Venice has in abundance. 

It’s hard not to fall in love with Orsola because she’s so brave and independent, attacking life with a fearlessness that aligns her with the most important woman working in glass, Maria Barrovier. The family business is run by the men of the family, leaving the women powerless. Her mother has a great business brain and younger brother Giacomo would have definitely been a safer pair of hands, churning out the same simple glassware for daily use. Yet thanks to a circumstance of birth they are all at the mercy of the mercurial Marco. He is so dissatisfied with their usual output of plates and goblets that have been the Rosso’s bread and butter, he wants to make more ornate and decorative glass, but misses the fact that it still has to be functional.  Orsola keeps her own business dealings with Klingenhorn a secret from her family, telling them her bead making is merely a hobby. Her budding romance with Antonio is intoxicating, but she knows immediately that he wouldn’t be her brother’s choice for a husband. They spend moonlit nights marooned on Antonio’s boat dreaming of a life where they can be together, away from the rivalry his presence has caused in the workshop. The Rosso’s business is a rollercoaster and they have to face hardship, change focus and rebuild several times. The author takes us from the 17th Century plague that hit Venice hard, all the way through to the COVID pandemic. While centuries pass in the real world, somehow everything happens within Orsola’s lifetime. When I visited Venice for the first time, particularly in the evening, I had a strange feeling I might turn a corner and be in another century. Orsola rarely leaves Murano and Venice, only once venturing to the mainland, rowed by Klingenhorn’s slave. I felt that if Orsola actually set foot on the mainland she would suddenly age by decades. 

The time difference felt strange at first, but it soon felt completely normal. We get to experience the city’s heyday as a bustling port, filled with merchants and people of all races and places. We see that dwindle as time goes on and slowly native Venetians leave and tourists move in. The author explores issues that are important to the island today: the worsening of the acqua Alta; the building of flood defences in the lagoon; cruise ships dwarfing the city and disgorging hundreds of tourists into San Marco at once; the shops selling cheap Chinese versions of local crafts such as mask makers, leather workers and glass makers, undercutting local artists; the changing flora and fauna, illustrated by the dolphins reported in the lagoon during COVID when only residents were left in the city. The author explores that conundrum of the negative impact of tourism on the city, while also acknowledging the city’s absolute dependence on it’s visitors. The endless lament that Venice is sinking, only serving to heighten people’s desire to see it. There are those who feel Venice has become a theme park of of it’s original self. I utterly adore Venice and I’m going next year for what will probably be the last time as it is difficult for a disabled person to get around. The author mentions a Las Vegas hotel where a microcosm of Venice has been created, with some visitors thinking they no longer need to travel to see the city. Yet it’s picture perfect bridges and clean canals are miles away from the real Venice. Of all my memories of Venice, the most important are those that are far from perfect. It’s the churn of the mud in the Grand Canal and silty smell of the mud, the washing hanging above your head, meeting locals and their dogs walking after dinner and the sound of squeaking rubber against the dock as the vaporetto leaves it’s stop. We always laugh about the old man we met crossing a bridge into Castello who farted loudly, before laughing uproariously! I feel that spooky sensation I had walking round the back of La Fenice after dark and the smell of candles and incense as we heard mass in an unexpectedly beautiful church. It was watching everyday things that gave me an idea of living in Venice: the grocery deliveries; being rushed to hospital or having the rubbish collected by boats. It’s all these things that make Venice real and not a film set. 

Of course I was longing for Orsola to reunite with her one love Antonio and I won’t ruin your enjoyment by telling all, except to say that just like the real Venice, real life is rarely a romantic novel. However, what I enjoyed most was Orsola herself because she is a pioneer and an incredible business woman. In fact she succeeds precisely because she is a woman. While Marco inherits the business, his ego and inability to change could have derailed the whole family. The women in this novel ‘manage’ the men, working around them and often slowly drip feeding ideas and solutions to the men until they adopt the idea as their own. Whereas Marco never asks for advice and rarely takes it, Orsola recognises the shortcomings of the business or when a crisis is looming. She knows who to ask, consulting with Klingenhorn and his replacement Johnas, Maria Barovier and the women of Cannaregio about threading and stacking seed beads. Even as the novel comes up to date she’s still diversifying, opening a second shop in a busy tourist Calle of Venice itself and employing someone to crate the glass balloons and trinkets that are easily packaged and stowed in a suitcase. She survives by being pragmatic, recognising when to challenge and when to do her duty, even if her temper does get the better of her at times. The depth of research that’s gone into her story and the author recommends many sources in her brilliant afterword. She creates a Venice I recognise, full of beauty and history but also a real and imperfect place, reliant on the very thing that destroys it. She captures the soul of the island and of Murano too and the people who feel themselves as Muranese first and foremost. I loved the magic of these places and how it attracts the eccentric and eclectic characters who have made it their home over the years. From Casanova, to Peggy Guggenheim and the previous owner of her home, the Marchessa and her pet Cheetahs. It is a moving, vibrant and intelligent novel that I know I will want to read again and again.  

The Borough Press 12th September 2024

Meet the Author

Tracy is the author of 11 novels, including the international bestseller GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING, which has sold over 5 million copies and been made into an Oscar-nominated film starring Scarlett Johansson and Colin Firth. American by birth, British by geography, she lives in London and Dorset. Her latest novel, THE GLASSMAKER, is set in Venice and follows a family of glass masters over the course of 5 centuries.

Posted in Publisher Proof

The Black Loch by Peter May

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Readers probably won’t believe this but this is my first Peter May novel. I’ve had his books on my ‘authors to explore’ list for when I’m second hand book shopping, but something always gets in the way of me reading them. So, when I was offered this blog tour I jumped at the chance to finally read one. I love books set in Scotland and I am a particular fan of Tartan Noir – crime novels and mystery novels from authors like Doug Johnstone and Val McDermid. I was immediately drawn into the incredible scenery and atmosphere of the Isle of Lewis. This is the fourth in a trilogy, so I’ve definitely got some catching up to do where Fin McLeod is concerned. Once a detective and now retired, Fin is drawn back to Lewis when Caitlin Black’s body is discovered on a remote beach. Only eighteen years old, Caitlin was a student at the Nicholson Institute. It emerges that she was having an illicit affair with Fionnlagh McLeod, her teacher and a married man twenty years her senior. Fionnlagh soon becomes the prime suspect and is arrested on suspicion of her rape and murder. He is also Finn’s son. Finn knows he must return to Lewis to support his daughter-in-law and granddaughter. He also knows, despite the evidence against him, that he must try to clear his son’s name. As Fin travels around the island, he is drawn into past memories and soon realises this crime has echoes back into his own teenage past on the island. A terrible accident at a salmon farm caused two deaths, just as the industry started to expand on the island and become a multi-million pound concern. This is a journey of family ties, secret relationships and a bleak and unforgiving landscape, where violence, revenge and revelations converge. 

Fin and his wife Marsaili both grew up on the island, so it holds echoes of their relationship over the years. It’s strange for them to be back on Lewis after a ten year absence and awkward to turn up on Fionnlagh’s doorstep where his wife Donna is devastated by the possibility that her husband has killed his teenage lover. Their daughter Eilidh is happy to see her grandparents and currently oblivious about her father’s fate, but it’s clear to see the damage Fionnlagh’s exploits have had on Donna. These early chapters felt like being sucked down into a whirlpool of memories. There’s such an incredible sense of place and the use of Gaelic words and names feels foreign, strange and somehow magical at the same time. There are tourists enjoying the white sandy beaches, but we’re taken down below the surface to the realities of living somewhere so remote and bleak. Then further down to the horrors underneath where salmon are eaten alive by lice in their cages, where beached whales gasp their last agonising breath on the sand and a beautiful girl with her whole life ahead of her can be thrown over a cliff like rubbish.

“He finally reached the Black Loch just before seven-thirty. He parked above the beach as sunlight fanned out towards him across cut-crystal water, revealing the secret colours that concealed themselves on the shore, among rocks and boulders and the seaweed washed up to dry along the high-tide mark. To his right, cliffs of Lewisian gneiss rose steeply out of the water and he could just see the gables and chimneys of the house that stood above them overlooking the bay. He cast his eyes down again to the water’s edge and left footprints in the wet sand as he followed the curve of the day towards the looming black of the cliffs. Somewhere here Caitlin’s body had been washed ashore.”

Peter May has portrayed the environment, whilst also showing the extent to which climate change and the eco- industry have impacted the surroundings he’s known for his whole life. The old cottages are damp and battered, some being refurbed by incomers with money either as family homes or holiday cottages. New houses are squat, one-storey dwellings built to blend with the sand and the heather with large  windows giving uninterrupted views of the landscape. Younger islanders are focused on eco-activism with Caitlin Black and her friend Isobel starring in a programme about the island’s ecology. They care about fish farming practices driven by the market across the globe for salmon. Practices that prevent wild salmon from swimming up river to spawn as well as terrible conditions for the farmed salmon too. Huge cages that once held a few hundred salmon now hold a hundred thousand, with such a high mortality rate they’re having to take them from the cages and dump them into rock crevices formed from by the tide. They lay there rotting until the sea washes them away.

“The activist’s aerial shots exposing the illegal dumping of dead fish, and the zombie salmon, half eaten by sea lice, swimming listlessly around in cages where anything up to twenty-five percent of fish were already dead. She listened in horror as he conjured up an image of the stinking, maggot-ridden morts […] and the 1000-litre containers of formaldehyde that a desperate Bradan Mor was using to try to kill the sea lice.”

Fin’s narrative takes us on his investigations around the island, trying to find evidence to disprove the police’s theory that his son is a killer. A task made much more difficult when his DNA matches samples taken from Caitlin’s body. Why would he rape someone he’s been sleeping with for months? This is according to locals who’d noticed their clandestine comings and goings from a derelict cottage by the sea. Despite the urgency of the present moment, Fin is also pulled inexorably into the past, because this island has a huge hold and power. I felt centuries of history in the land it’s people and their relationships. This is sometimes positive, as Fin remembers beach parties where he first met Masaili as a teenager and they make love on the beach in the present, grasping a tiny moment of happiness and connection in the hurt and devastation. The most terrible memories involve a scheme to steal fish from the fish farm and pass them off as wild salmon, for a ghillie from the estate to sell on. Fin goes along with it despite his misgivings, but the scheme is originally suggested by Niall. A group of teenagers meet and drive to the fish farm several times, but one night there’s an awful storm and a sense of foreboding. This enterprise leads to two deaths and creates a suspicion in Fin about his friend Niall. If he is willing to steal from his own family and brush aside the death of a friend, is he capable of murder? Niall’s surname is Black and Caitlin is his daughter.

It feels as if the island has a consciousness. It sees your past and your future as clearly as the present, almost as if they’re happening simultaneously. I felt it when Finn walked across the very place he stood with Masaili when they were first meeting at six years old and she had two pigtails. She also called him Finn for the first time, christening him with a nickname he still uses. This is a thin place, unchanged for centuries. It also said something about how we experience the world. We are rarely solidly who we are in the present, with past and future forgotten. We are simultaneously all the selves we’ve ever been. In this way Fionnlagh can be a good father, a talented teacher and a suspect in a murder. There are also darker moments from Fin and Marsaili’s past that come alive here. Her narration is a rare moment in the novel but she relives a night in Glasgow from their university years, when she found Finn in bed with another girl in their student flat? It makes us realise that Finn isn’t wholly the upstanding man we think he is, he was also the cause of so much hurt, rather like his son. 

There’s a sense in which this trauma is generational, not just in individual families but in the island itself. The environment has always been harsh and people have found it to survive. It’s a hunting and fishing community and other nearby islands, like St.Kilda, became uninhabitable in the early Twentieth Century due to the difficulty of growing and catching enough food for the islanders. Fin takes us back to a conversation he had with his grandfather about the whaling industry, brutal tales of harpooning these majestic creatures and turning the sea red. It links to the beached whales in the bay, possibly drawn off course by one of them being unwell and in distress. As the vet assesses these giant creatures and people desperately try to save them he talks about a tradition in the Faroe Islands where they draw whales to the shore then hack them to pieces. Fin has violent memories of being forced to join a seasonal slaughter. In his last summer before university, Fin felt like a black cloud had descended because he and his friend Artair had been chosen to join the guga hunters. This was a four hundred year old tradition where twelve men would travel to An Sgeir, an island no more than a rock in the middle of the ocean. A guga was a young gannet, once hunted in a desperate need for food, their slaughter was now a rite of passage. Hunters killed two thousand birds in a fortnight, then they would be plucked and salted. Fin felt disgusted by the idea, but it seemed unavoidable and it would be dishonourable to give up your place.

“Neither Artair nor I wanted to spend two weeks on that bleak and inhospitable rock, scrambling among the blood and shit that covered the cliffs, slaughtering defenceless birds.”

This was a tense and complex case with so many possible suspects, and Peter May also keeps us guessing about Fionnlagh. Perhaps he could be the killer, after all he does confess. In a way this created a crime novel that didn’t revolve completely on whodunnit, but on the tensions between different characters and also their environment. He also creates a compelling picture of the beautiful and intelligent victim, Caitlin Black. A girl as embedded in the island as Fin, with a deep passion for the island’s environment and it’s flora and fauna. She epitomises the gap between generations, but also between those who want to protect the island and those who are making a generous living by exploiting and polluting it. I loved how deep the island and it’s history ran in these people, something I can understand having lived right next to the River Trent for most of my life. In fact the first thing I did when moving into my last village twelve years ago was go to the river bank and take off my sandals to feel the river bank under my feet. The river and it’s daily tidal bore, the smell of fresh cut hay, the cool of the forest, the crunch of dry pine needles underfoot as well as the smell of straw bales in the sun and freshly turned earth are all in my soul. They make up part of who I am and although I moved away for study, I have returned and unknowingly into the same village where my great-great grandmother is buried. Our ancestors call to us and this is definitely what Fin and Marsaili are feeling, as well as need to be close to Fionnlagh, Donna and Eilidh. This is something he couldn’t have imagined ten years ago, but now he wonders if it’s where they belong. Perhaps this means future additions to the series and on the basis of 5is novel, I’ll be the first in the queue if it does.

“He leaned over to kiss her and remembered that little girl with the pigtails who had walked him up the road from the school to Crobost Stores giving him the nickname that had stuck for the rest of his life.”

Out on 12th September from RiverRun Books, an imprint of Quercus.

Meet the Author

Peter May was born and raised in Scotland. He won Journalist of the Year at twenty-one and was a published novelist at twenty-six. When his first book was adapted as a major drama series for the BBC, he quit journalism and became one of Scotland’s most successful television dramatists. He created three prime-time drama series, led two of the highest-rated series in Scotland as a script editor and producer and worked on more than 1,000 episodes of ratings-topping drama before deciding to leave television and return to his first love, writing novels.

Posted in Orenda

The Murmurs by Michael J. Malone

Posted on by thelotusreaders

I quickly became fascinated with this mix of historical fiction, psychological suspense and the paranormal. We meet Annie Jackson as she tentatively starts her new job in a nursing home in the West End of Glasgow, hoping to get her life back on track. Annie suffers with terrible nightmares where she’s stuck in a car underwater. She also has the sensation that someone is holding her head under water until her lungs feel ready to burst. She also has debilitating headaches and she can feel one threatening as her new manager introduces her to resident Steve. Then something very odd happens, as a blinding pain in Annie’s head is followed by Steve’s face starting to shake, then reform. A whispering sound begins in her head and she sees Steve as a skull, followed by a vision of him falling in his room and suffering a debilitating stroke. She desperately wants to tell him but how can she without seeming like a lunatic? He becomes agitated and upset, as Annie starts to describe the layout of Steve’s bathroom and he asks her to stop. As she’s sent home from another job she starts to think back to her childhood and the first manifestations of her debilitating problem. Annie survived the terrible car accident that wiped her childhood memories and killed her mother. This strange supernatural phenomenon is why Annie is alone and struggles to make friends. These are ‘the murmurs’. 

I felt so much compassion for Annie, as the story splits into two different timelines: we are part of Annie’s inner world as a child, but also in the present as fragments of memory slowly start to emerge. We also go back even further to the childhood of Annie’s mother Eleanor and her two sisters Bridget and Sheila. We experience their lives through other people’s stories and written correspondence, especially that of a nun who also works in a residential home. I enjoyed how this gave me lots of different perspectives and how the drip feed of information slowly made sense of what was happening in the present day. Different revelations have a huge effect on the adult Annie and because her memories have been buried for so long she experiences the shock and surprise at exactly the same time as we do. This brings an immediacy to the narrative and I felt like I was really there alongside her, in the moment. With my counselling brain I could see a psyche shattered by trauma, desperately looking for answers, she is piecing herself back together as she goes. 

Teenage Annie had a similar vision about a girl called Jenny Burn, who went missing never to return. The murmurs awakened when her mum’s sister Aunt Sheila came to visit them. She tried to openly discuss an Aunt Bridget who also had a ‘gift’ but has ended up in a home. Eleanor, Annie’s mother, asks Sheila to leave, but it’s too late because Annie has already seen that her aunt is dying of cancer. Annie evades her mum and makes her way to the hotel, the only place Sheila can be staying. Unfortunately, Jenny is working on reception. Annie can see her climbing into a red car and she desperately wants to warn her, but she knows she’ll come across as a crazy person. Eleanor is desperately looking for a way to deal with her daughter, she’s a person of importance in the church and she can’t be seen to have a daughter who has visions. Pastor Mosley has Eleanor exactly where he wants her. There’s a control and fanaticism in him that scared me much more than Annie’s murmurs. When Eleanor takes Annie to the pastor, he demonstrates his control by holding her head firmly under his head as he prays for her. When she almost faints, he’s convinced there’s a demon in her. Annie is scared of him, she gets a terrible feeling about him but doesn’t know why. Religion is portrayed as sinister and controlling, with fervent followers who never question, but live in the way they’ve been instructed is Christian? story takes an interesting turn when Annie’s brother Lewis, a financial advisor, becomes involved with the church once more and it’s new pastor Christopher Jenkins, the son of their childhood neighbour. He’s revolutionised the church and through the internet he’s turning it into a global concern. He’s not just interested in saving souls though, he’s also amassing money from his internet appeals. He also seems very interested in meeting Annie. 

As the book draws to a close the revelations come thick and fast as both past and future collide. The search for Aunts Bridget and Sheila seems to unearth more questions than answers. Annie finds out that Jenny wasn’t the only woman who went missing in Mossgaw all those years ago. As she starts to have suspicions about her childhood home, Chris seems very keen to draw her back there. Might he be planning a huge surprise? I was a bit confused at first with all these disparate elements, but as all the pieces started to slot together I was stunned by the truths that are unearthed. Then as Annie’s childhood memories were finally triggered I felt strangely terrified but also relieved for her all at once. I hoped that once she’d regained that past part of herself she would feel more confident and free, despite the strange gift she seemed to have inherited. Maybe by facing the past and leaning in to her relationship with her brother, she might feel more grounded and strong enough to cope with her ‘gift’. I thought the author brought that compassion he’s shown in previous novels but combined it with a spooky edge and some intriguing secrets. I really loved the way he showed mistakes of the past still bleeding into the present, as well as the elements of spiritual abuse that were most disturbing. This book lures you in and never lets go, so be prepared to be hooked.

Meet the Author

Michael J. Malone was born and brought up in the heart of Burns’ country, just a stone’s throw from the great man’s cottage in Ayr. Well, a stone thrown by a catapult, maybe.

He has published over 200 poems in literary magazines throughout the UK, including New Writing Scotland, Poetry Scotland and Markings.

BLOOD TEARS, his debut novel won the Pitlochry Prize (judge:Alex Gray) from the Scottish Association of Writers and when it was published he added a “J” to his name to differentiate it from the work of his talented U.S. namesake.

He can be found on twitter – @michaelJmalone1

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/themichaeljmalonepage

And here’s my newsletter – subscribe for lots of cool stuff! – https://michaeljmalone.substack.com

Posted in Squad Pod Collective

The Drownings by Hazel Barkworth

Posted on by thelotusreaders

This is a fascinating read from Hazel Barkworth, capturing so much about the times we’re in while also exploring themes of identity, obsession, use of social media and modern day witch-hunts. Serena was born to swim. Her body is honed by years of training to be the best. When she thinks about her body, she imagines it sleek and pointed like an arrow shooting through the water. Her trainer Nico thinks she can go as far as the Olympics and within the family her winning streak makes her the centre of attention. Then one day it all goes wrong, because despite her training, focus and visualising the win, she loses. She can’t fathom why or what went wrong, but to add to her shock she then slips in the changing area and damages her knee. Now she’s on crutches and cannot swim at all. She knows she will not be ready to meet the next Olympics and the disappointment is crushing. Even worse, within her family, attention shifts to her cousin Zara. Zara has always had issues with her body image, but started an Instagram account promoting body positivity. Her curated Insta in shades of peach, teal and gold, is gathering momentum. She is blossoming in her success and has enough followers for companies to start sending her free products in the hope she might promote them. Just as Zara is making peace with her body and finding success, Serena has no idea who she is. With most of her time previously taken up with diet, exercise, warm-ups and time-splits, she doesn’t recognise herself. Her body only had one purpose and now it’s let her down. How can she be Serena, when the Serena she knew doesn’t even exist any more?

Serena decides to take up a place at university, at Leysham Hall, where her cousin already has a place. Here they both fall under the spell of their feminist lecturer in history, Jane. Serena meets her entirely by accident when walking the grounds one night. She sees a young woman poised by the edge of the river, that rushes downstream at this point of the campus. There have been warnings about this stretch of water, young women going missing and discussions about lighting the area always come to nothing. When the girl disappears, Serena rushes forward to help her. There is no hesitation when she realises the girl isn’t a strong swimmer and is in serious trouble. She leaps in and then Jane appears, just in time to help Serena bring the girl up to the surface and out. She doesn’t notice much about her that night, but she does end up in Jane’s history tutorial group and from that point on she feels drawn to the academic. It’s not a sexual attraction, she doesn’t want to be with her, it’s more that she wants to be like her. She loves the unfussy but stylish way that Jane dresses. She admires the knowledge and passion she has about her subject. Totally at odds with her dress sense, Jane’s tutorial room is a riot of colour turning the functional and boring space into something cozy and colourful. There are so many mementoes of places she’s been, feminist posters, colourful rugs and cushions. Mostly, I felt Serena is drawn to the fact that Jane seems so entirely sure of who she is.

A few of my reads this year have touched on a couple of very specific themes and when I thought about why, I could see that this is a product of the times we’re in. There’s the theme of witches and the witch hunting of the 17th Century which grew rife due to the obsession of James I /James VI of Scotland. The second was the influence and power gained by becoming part of all-male, elite, private school gangs like the Bullingdon Club, a club in which David Cameron, Boris Johnson and George Osborne were all members. The club carried out ‘pranks’ such as trashing the restaurant they met in and simply fixing the problem with family money. They burned ten and twenty pound notes in front of homeless people. I also believe this club may have been the source of the Infamous David Cameron and pig story. At Serena’s college it’s the Carnforth Club, named after their school founder they are robed from head to foot to keep their identities secret. As far as witches go, the words witch-hunt are being co-opted by men in powerful positions who don’t like it when their actions have consequences. We have seen it in the aftermath of the #MeToo movement, where men who are finally facing courts of law after years of abuse and sexual assault allegations, are claiming they are victims. The most recent is Russel Brand who has used his YouTube channel to protest his innocence, but has the tried to rehabilitate himself by becoming ‘born again’ and hiding within the Trump family, of all places. These and other men like Prince Andrew. Kevin Spacey, Jeffrey Epstein and Harvey Weinstein have all used the excuse that the media want to take them down. However, it’s not a witch-hunt when you’re one of the most privileged demographics of the world. If you’re moaning about witch-hunts you must genuinely be a victim and since most of these men are always punching down, I think we’re being gaslit.

The original witch-hunts were brutal and targeted mainly women. Jane tells them that witch trials took place where they now study and in fact, the place where Serena had jumped in to rescue a student was where witches were ducked. After a brutal interrogation that included torture, coercion and violation, suspected witches were taken to a river and ‘ducked’. If they drowned they were innocent but if they lived they were declared a witch and burned alive. Jane places this within a feminist framework. We know that ‘witches’ were usually women who lived alone, earned their own living from medical and herbal knowledge, often helped deliver babies in their area and helped other women. By offering advice on things like fertility, preventing pregnancy and helping girls in trouble, local ‘wise women’ gave the women around them some control and autonomy when it came to their own bodies. A woman like his is a threat to men and to the teachings of the established church. No wonder James I worked to the edict from Exodus ‘ thou shalt not suffer a witch to live’. Working as a counsellor and in chronic pain management for years I often realise I have quite a few friends who might come under suspicion from the witch finders.

Both Serena and Zara are dazzled by Jane, Serena has even wondered if Jane and Zara may be attracted to each other. Using Zara’s quite considerable social media platform, they encourage young women in the college to speak out about any sexist and misogynistic treatment they’ve suffered there, particularly if linked to the Carnforth Club. They are soon inundated with messages alleging everything from online abuse to sexual assault. Their anger comes to a head one night at a rally where both Zara and Jane will speak to any of the students who will turn up. Round a campfire they start to share their stories, with the evening rounded off with a call to arms. They must campaign for change. At the crucial moment, Zara is expecting the megaphone to be passed over, but instead Jane chooses to hand it to Serena. Fired up by the atmosphere Serena dives in and starts to rally the women and she is inspired. The night ends as Serena starts to lead a ritualistic dance and before she knows it she’s the leader, whipping up the women into a frenzy as they take off their clothes and follow her. Next day Serena is a little bemused at what happened, but it felt right at the time and she went with it. Even as she goes to sleep, someone is sharing a photograph of her naked and marching in the light from the campfire. It’s sent to the whole college. In the aftermath, Jane wants them to keep up the momentum and break into the hall, where a portrait of the college founder and instigator of the Carnforth Club has pride of place. While most of the group are happy to break in and cause mischief, Jane is considering something much darker and more dangerous. Will everyone go along with her plan? Since the rally, Serena has noticed that Zara is not herself. She seems to have lost some of her audience and her confidence seems to be following. Now that Serena is finding herself, it seems that Zara is losing herself.

The tension really builds here as the author takes us into final third of this thriller and I was fascinated to see how it turned out. I felt for Serena who seems to have found confidence and a sense of what kind of woman she wants to be, but is it real? She struck me as one of those children who’ve been pushed into specialising too early in life with no back-up plan. In all those dark, early mornings at the pool and the times she had to say no to social occasions to train, there’s someone who isn’t allowed to explore who she is and what she enjoys. Her time is so limited and she doesn’t form any meaningful friendships either. How do we know what we love in life if we’ve never tried anything else? She also has a very distant relationship with her own body that’s merely an athletic instrument. She’s used to ignoring aches and pains, divorcing her mind from how far she’s pushing her growing body and never seeing her it as a source of pleasure. Then suddenly she’s surplus to requirements and has no other plan. Placed into the chaos of fresher’s week and meeting so many different and strong characters must be bewildering. When people ask about herself, who is she? She struck me as a borderline personality, who takes on the issues and characteristics of whoever she’s with. She’s vulnerable, used to obeying authority figures and having them control everything down to her food. Zara seems equally fragile though, growing up in the shadow of a cousin who might go to the Olympics is not easy. She’s so proud of her influencer award and in a way, her Insta has been as much about her own validation and acceptance of her body, as it has about inspiring others. Once her star begins to fade, Zara’s confidence plummets and she becomes desperate to make her mark. The author shows us how fragile today’s young women can be with misogyny seemingly rife and the added pressure of a global audience on social media. I wasn’t sure how far either of these girls might go to impress their tutor and display who they are. That’s if this is who they are? This was a brilliant contemporary thriller that asks serious questions about how the authentic self forms within this confusing and dangerous world.

Published 1st August by Review.

Meet the Author

Hazel grew up in Stirlingshire and North Yorkshire before studying English at Oxford. She then moved to London where she spent her days working as a cultural consultant, and her nights dancing in a pop band at glam rock clubs. Hazel is a graduate of both the Oxford University MSt in Creative Writing and the Curtis Brown Creative Novel-Writing course. She now works in Oxford, where she lives with her partner. Heatstroke was her first novel and The Drownings is her second.

Posted in Paperback Publication

In Bloom by Eve Verde

Posted on by thelotusreaders

‘This is my family story. From all I’ve sown together, through all I couldn’t ask. I want to be the bud who makes it.’

In Bloom tells of strength, survival, forgiveness, resilience and determination, and the fierce love and unbreakable bonds between mothers and daughters.

Ever since Sol’s untimely death left her pregnant and alone at twenty-two, Delph’s kept herself small as a form of self-protection. Now, over a decade later, she lives with their daughter Roche and her new partner Itsy, a kind and protective cabbie, on the fourteenth floor of Esplanade Point on the Essex coast.

But Delph’s protective bubble bursts when Roche moves in with her estranged nan, Moon. Feeling on the outside of the bond between her fierce-yet-flaky tarot-reading mother and volatile martial-arts-champion daughter, Delph begins questioning her own freedom. And when Roche’s snooping into her grandmother’s past unearths a familial line of downtrodden women; a worrying pattern emerges. Has keeping small and safe truly been Delph’s choice all these years…?

I’m hosting the paperback blog tour for this wonderful book today and it’s lost none of its charm and power since I read it last year. I don’t believe in trigger warnings, despite their intended purpose to flag up material that may ‘trigger’ difficult emotions in the reader, I feel that they might stop someone experiencing a connection with a text. It might well be a trigger, but that doesn’t always have to mean it’s a negative one. It might be a trigger that starts a healing process. If anyone should have avoided this book it was me, because I was Delphine. I lost the love of my life in my early thirties and then sleepwalked into a coercive and damaging relationship. Yes, it was a hard read at times, but it wasn’t a remotely negative experience. Moon, Delphine and Roche are three generations of a family. Each woman has her own issues, but they all stem from one place. Right back at the beginning.

As the book opens Roche can no longer live with her mother and Itsy, the man she’s been living with for most of Roche’s life. So she decamps to her grandmother Moon’s house. Roche can’t stand Itsy, he dislikes her and wishes she wasn’t there. In fact what he wants is Delphine all to himself, it’s easier to control someone who’s isolated. Delphine has had a glazed over look ever since he arrived in her life and she doesn’t seem like her mum anymore. Delphine has done everything she can to keep Itsy happy. She’s changed how she dressed, made herself less beautiful, stayed at home and stopped going out with friends. Every day she makes herself smaller to make more space for him and Roche can’t watch it anymore. However, things are changing slowly. Delphine has a job she enjoys at B & Q, new connections with her colleagues and today she has made a choice. Delphine is pregnant and she knows deep down in her soul that ‘the thought of more years, more life, tied to him’ is more than she can bear. She goes quietly on her own for an abortion, the quietest but most powerful act of rebellion she can make. Then comes her opportunity, Itsy receives a phone call from Jamaica to tell him his mother is dying. He must jump straight on a flight, so Delphine lets him go alone, knowing that now she has several weeks to herself. She doesn’t stop Roche from moving out and accepts this as her time to heal, time to be the parent that so often Roche has to be for her. However, this isn’t the only recovery needed in the three generations of this family thanks to the actions of men.

I felt at first that I was slowly piecing together the story of a client. Being a person- centred therapist means letting the client choose what they want to talk about. I would use my counselling skills to tease out that story and ask questions where it needs to be clarified or where I might only be getting one perspective. Here the story has it’s own pace and each woman narrates her own section. We flit back and forth, also delving into the past here and there and it’s like doing a jigsaw puzzle but only being handed one piece at a time, then another from a different angle. It takes some time to perceive the whole and that was definitely the case here. Only we the reader can see where they all are in relation to one another. The reality of being a woman in today’s world is explored fully, there is no doubt that these women’s lives would have been immeasurably better had they not encountered men. It takes Roche to articulate this properly with the words and wisdom of her generation.

“Roche knows, remembers, how her life changed at around the time she started secondary, and her bubble of invisibility popped. How, despite the school uniform screaming otherwise, she very suddenly became the inhabitant of a woman’s body, complete with a depressing self-awareness that this was now Roche’s life until one day men deemed her invisible again. In fairness, it’s not her contemporaries who usually do the perving – no, it’s men, grown–ass men who have always done the bulk of the wolf–whistling, the innuendoes and basic compliments that they expect her to ‘smile, love’ and be grateful for.”

As a middle aged woman I now know the power of that invisibility and how, in many ways, it’s a blessing.

I love how carefully the author drew the threads between generations, those behaviours that create a pattern of intergenerational trauma. There are moments in her journey where Delph needs her daughter by her side, but she recognises that it’s a selfish need. Delphi’s lived experience stops her; “is not for a child to fix the parent. Nor is Roche the ointment to Delph’s current troubles”. Then we go back into her mother Moon’s early years, when her grandmother is in hospital, suffering from mental ill health. Her name was still Joy back then and her job is to dispense sunshine to a women who can’t even remember her name. ‘Come on,’ Ma says, in a giddy-up way. ‘You know how happy your little face always makes her.’ This a learned behaviour, people pleasing and exactly what Delph is trying to avoid for her own daughter, three generations later. By sitting with her own pain, Delph is avoiding instilling that behaviour in her own daughter, she’s actively breaking the cycle. Yes, there are traumatic moments in these women’s lives, Moon’s story being particularly harrowing, but we can also see the women’s determination to change. It’s that change and what it means for Roche that brings such an uplifting feeling to the book. For me it’s Delph’s struggle that touched me deeply. The loss of Sol, who’d been there her entire life, is devastating. So moving out of Itsy’s orbit and the mental paralysis she’s been living with means opening up her emotions. That’s all of the emotions including her grief, but it’s a process that needs to happen so that Roche can talk about her father openly and in a joyful way. I found myself more engrossed in the later stages of the book as I had to see whether these women could heal together. This is beautifully written and manages to be funny, moving and hopeful.

Posted in Squad Pod

Monstrum by Lottie Mills

Posted on by thelotusreaders

This is a very personal review, because when you have a disability it’s impossible to read a collection of stories about bodily difference and it not feel personal. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 1995, but originally broke my back at 11 years old and after years of pain developed Myofascial Pain Syndrome and disc degeneration. Disability and difference have been part of my life for so long but yet I never feel fully part of that world. That’s because my disabilities are usually invisible and I don’t really belong in either world. I even read this while struggling with my health and finally catching COVID. I’m typing up my review while in bed after a radio frequency denervation, where a heated needle is guided towards the compressed nerves and burns them to disrupt the pain messages that refer nerve pain to my legs and lower abdomen. All this goes on behind closed doors because I’m simply unable to get up and out. Then when I can go out, I appear to have very little wrong with me unless I’m using my stick or a crutch. I’m doing what’s called ‘passing’ – able to look like everyone else while having disabilities. So it’s hard to put across how moved I was by this collection portraying ‘otherness’ and how able-bodied people respond to it. Using mythology, fairy tales and a touch of Shakespeare, Lottie Mills has managed to put across so much about life with a disability and what happens when it brushes up against an able-bodied society that’s considered the norm. However, in her world these disabilities become abilities, sometimes magical ones.

The first story in the collection introduces us to a magical island where Cal and his daughter have a beautiful life of warm sand, sea and a night sky glittering with stars. He tells her stories about bear people and she asks him if they are bear people? Yes they are he says, although her mother wasn’t. She was from a human world that’s about to clash disastrously with theirs. In the human world, there’s so much that Cal can’t do because it isn’t set up like their island. In the human world Cal becomes disabled. We then see what happens when human agencies come up against their little family with disastrous consequences. Instead of concentrating on what he can do, they look at him through the prism of their own abilities and only the things he can’t do. How can he possibly look after his daughter properly when he’s so disadvantaged? Mills takes disability theory here and applied it to her character’s lives, which judging by the name Cal (Caliban) come from the type of magical island Shakespeare describes in The Tempest. Caliban has been more recently portrayed in productions of the play as a black man, a slave, or an asylum seeker rather than a monster. Mills makes the point that Caliban is only a monster when we make him one. The original model of disability is a medical one that assumes there is one ideal healthy body and anything that differs from that is wrong and needs to be fixed. When used in a social context it tells you that the things you can’t do in the world are down to your difference from the norm. However, the social model tells us that it is the way the world is set up that creates the disability. For example if all buildings eradicated stairs, creating ramps and lifts within the normal building model, the environment becomes accessible to all. If Cal is viewed in his own environment, he is capable of looking after his daughter. I was desperate for them to be reunited and I also felt a personal yearning to be part of Cal’s world. This fairy tale explains that while agencies like social services and the NHS might think they are doing the right thing for someone, there is often a better solution. That solution champions individuality and concentrates on what the person can do, rather than what they can’t.

In another story we meet a young disabled woman who craves the perfect pain- free body, something I could definitely identify with right now. However, when her wish is granted she finds it difficult to let go of her disabled identity. This was a fascinating exploration of how disability affects the person psychologically. If a disability is innate then it’s the only body that person has ever known. They know the world’s expectations of that body, their own perception of what they might achieve within that body and how able-bodied people perceive them. If the disability is acquired it can be a long and painful process to come to an acceptance of your new body. You must grieve the body you have lost, as well as all the things you expected to do with that body. I have heard many friends tell me that while they’d happily give up chronic pain or a particular aspect of their disability, they wouldn’t want to go through a reverse change and be able-bodied again. There is even a fear of becoming able-bodied again, with all the expectations that places on a person. This story perfectly encapsulates that fight within the self and how far our disabilities are assimilated into our idea of who we are. I loved Lottie’s use of horror and settings where disability has often found a home such as the circus or fairground. Freak shows were popular in the 19th Century, in both the UK and USA, with different bodies placed on show for entertainment and wonder. In fact Coney Island in New York was a hugely successful venue for such shows, where businessmen and entertainers like Barnum were making money from the display of people with differences and disabilities. It certainly wasn’t the wonderful musical extravaganza portrayed in The Greatest Showman. However, it was a place where someone with a disability could make their own money, live in a community where difference was appreciated and accommodated and achieve a level of fame. She lets us know that these issues are complex and look very different from person to person.

There is a beauty in this world of ‘otherness’ and it’s a world made up of an incredible mix of ingredients. Every person with a disability is different so the variety of experience is endless and hybrid bodies, unusual pairings/families and queer love thrives here. Lottie has found a way of balancing how the world sees us and how we see ourselves. She has used magic realism and alternative communities to show the strength there is in accepting disability and making a life with it, rather than constantly fighting to change yourself and remain in the able-bodied world. What was the most interesting thing to me was her understanding of how these issues affect the world of writing and how there are accepted narrative tropes around disability. I studied for a PhD, sadly never completed, where I was looking at how disability is portrayed in autobiography and memoir and whether this was driven by an author’s internalisation of society’s expectations or whether the publishing industry is biased towards narratives that are acceptable to able-bodied readers and they know will sell widely. The public like people who battle against their disability and illness, preferring words like ‘fight’, ‘overcome’ and ‘survive’. The accepted narrative trope is that of a journey from the dark days of diagnosis towards the rehabilitation and a triumphant ending of cure or a successful life, despite the disability. Often people with disabilities read these narratives and feel inadequate for struggling, for not achieving a similar level of ability and success. Mainly they don’t feel represented. Here Lottie shows us these stereotypes and gives us something different – individuality, community and love. Her narratives don’t follow the accepted tropes, instead focusing on acceptance, owning a disability and living with it in a way that works for the character rather than an able-bodied reader. Lottie’s writing manages to latch onto the reader and not let go, but for me it was her refusal to conform and instead confront people’s perceptions of disability. I’m hopeful for much more from this talented writer and that publishers are starting to see the value of individual and adventurous disability narratives that truly represent such a vibrant and varied community.

Published by Oneworld Publications May 2024.

Meet the Author

Lottie Mills was born in Hampshire and grew up in West Sussex, Hertfordshire, and Essex. She studied English at Newnham College, Cambridge, and contributed to Varsity and The Mays during her time there. In 2020, she won the BBC Young Writers’ Award for her short story ‘The Changeling’, having been previously shortlisted in 2018. Her work has been broadcast on BBC Radio 1 and BBC Radio 4, and she has appeared on programmes including Look East, Life Hacks, and Woman’s Hour to discuss her writing. Monstrum is her debut book.