Around ten years ago I used to run my own book club at home. It was just a group of my friends, a couple of my mum’s friends and a few people we knew a little who were really keen on reading more. We were a very close knit group after a while and a really diverse mix between the ages of 18 and 65. Some worked full time and others had been full time mums and housewives, a couple had disabilities and there were very varied educational backgrounds. Some had lived local to Lincolnshire all their lives, others had lived in Eastern Europe, Africa and Australia. I was expecting some controversy, but I was surprised by some of the books that caused the most discussion. Often late into the night. I always themed the cake to the book, on one occasion causing its own controversy when I teamed Kathryn Stockett’s The Help with chocolate cream pie. I thought I’d share with you those books that seemed to strike a chord with the group. Sadly, life got in the way as it often does. My relationship broke down and we sold the big house. I had to downsize and since some of our members were his friends it was difficult to keep it going while things were turbulent. I have great memories though and I thought I’d let you into a few of our (printable) discussions.
Her husband deserved it…
This one is an obvious one as it seemed to cause controversy across here and across the Atlantic. I know everyone found this book an incredible read and it was one that everybody in the group read. It inspired the nature/ nurture discussion first of all, was Kevin the way he was because his mother suffered post-natal depression and didn’t bond with him? Was her creeping sense that he was evil a self-fulfilling prophecy or had she detected something innate that predisposed him to evil? It’s easy to argue either case. What most readers found absolutely infuriating about the book was her husband – I think I remember the phrase ‘wilful stupidity’. Despite all signs to the contrary, he simply did not see a problem with his son and when he did seemed to think it would fix by itself. Some were so frustrated with him they thought he deserved what he got. For me the guinea pig incident was the absolute end! That would have been a call to social services to safeguard my daughter. It was obvious what would happen next. The part we found most intriguing was that she visited her son after he was jailed, would such a terrible mother do that? He had taken away her husband (more of a plus for some readers) and her daughter but still she felt some responsibility to him. Even while neighbours were painting obscenities on her house. We did talk about Kevin, long into the night.
She never stopped whining..
Well this was one I didn’t expect to cause any problems at all. A nice gentle read about finding yourself, while travelling through several different countries. I loved it. So it was a huge surprise when it was a DNF for some people. It wasn’t even that they were bored. They were furious! One of our readers was so cross that she left the book behind. She found the author entitled and very, very lucky to get a huge advance that enabled her to travel and write. This angle had never occurred to me. I thought the author was equally frustrated with herself for being dissatisfied with life, she felt spiritually sick and the ashram was a huge part of dealing with that. Another felt that most of us feel that way at some point but she should try being a single mum for twenty years while working full time to pay a mortgage. Some of us don’t get to leave. I guess a bit of perspective could be equally valuable and would have been a very different book. In the end we were so split on this one that we put the film on instead. It turns out Liz Gilbert isn’t for everyone.
Dad had a lot to answer for …
I thought after our discussions on motherhood it might be interesting to look at the role of fathers and this was a great place to start. In a similar situation to the mother in We Need To Talk About Kevin, the book follows the aftermath of a shooting. Dr Paul Allen, well regarded doctor with a wife and children, is shocked when he gets a call about the shooting of a presidential candidate. They are accusing Daniel, his son from his first failed marriage, of being the shooter. Paul can’t comprehend this, Paul was always a good kid wasn’t he? With a few people in the group working within social services, teaching or healthcare there were those very keen to point out the damage that can be done by an absent father. Around two thirds of the group were shocked that after his marriage failed Paul chooses to take a job on the east coast of the US, a whole country away from his son. I couldn’t understand this choice, because in my mind kids have to be a priority. Also his ex-wife didn’t get any choice, they could have split the child care if he’d stayed and both had a career maybe not chasing top flight jobs or progressing as quickly, but I felt his child was more important. I was genuinely surprised when other women in the group felt his decision was justified, that he should go for the promotion because then he would be able to provide more for his family. He could afford to fly his son out to where he was in the school holidays, but would that be the same as being in the same city? Some felt that a primary age child having to fly across the continent alone to spend time with his dad was probably scary. Of course none of this is an excuse for shooting someone but this provoked a debate where there had to be an agreement to disagree.
The ‘push button clitoris’…
It’s really hard to state how much I dislike this book and I really didn’t want to read it at book club. Our usual way of choosing books was to drop suggestions into a little letter box I made and then draw one out at the end of the evening. Every so often though a book will come along that everyone is reading and talking about and so many in the club wanted to read it that we decided to give it a go. From my perspective the most controversial thing said in the discussion about this book was that it was romantic. I asked what Christian did that was romantic and most said that he whisked her off in a helicopter, bought her gifts and clothes. To me that is just throwing money around. I said that women’s rights were in an appalling state if this was seen as a romantic relationship. Some felt that they had an agreement and once Anastasia had agreed to be his ‘sub’ everything he did was consensual and agreed beforehand. Others thought that Anastasia slowly changed him and got some of her power back, disagreeing with some aspects of their agreement. Others felt like there wasn’t enough negotiation to make it truly equal and that he overstepped on more than one occasion. I described Christian as creepy and a borderline stalker. I think the older members were more angry about this book than younger ones. The consensus seemed to be that while sexual activity is different for all couples, it was Christian’s control outside of the bedroom that really offended – choosing her clothes, her contraception, ensuring she see his choice of gynaecologist and be waxed like a Barbie. There was also concern about the depiction of their sex life and my favourite quote comes from my mum who said Anastasia had a ‘push button clitoris’ that only needed one press for her to orgasm. This made me laugh so much but there’s also a serious side to what she said – would young girls reading this think there was something wrong with them if they don’t orgasm immediately? Similarly would they think control was sexy and desirable? Books like this one send feminism back decades and in my opinion the best place for it was the bin.
Other Opinions That Caused a Stir
The Colour Purple – wasn’t cheerful enough. Could we please read more upbeat books (we did and found nothing to talk about on the night)
The Time Travellers Wife – Henry was a child abuser. This wasn’t romantic. Henry was selfish. Once he realised he could travel back to Claire when she was a child he should have stopped. He was the adult and basically groomed her.
One Day – couldn’t have cared less. “I felt nothing for these characters.”
Life After Life – “what the hell was going on?” I had no idea what was real and what was make believe.
We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves – WTAF? 😱 Absolutely no one saw that coming!
The Lotus Readers 