Tag: Bereavement

Posted in Monthly Wrap Up

My Best Reads March 2025

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Hello Readers,

Spring is here!! Finally. Today is warm -ish, but sunny with daffodils and jasmine brightening up the garden. My other half is cutting the lawn and washing is going on the line for the first day this year. I’ve had a lot of chances to read this month as I still can’t move far, so I’ve taken on some new and some older reads too. My favourites of the new books I’ve read this month are a balanced mix of historical fiction and crime novels. Our historical offerings take us to the South of France and the home of Henri Matisse, to Paris on a train that might be lucky to arrive and a Scottish island that’s closer to Norway. The crime novels are set in two of my favourite places, Snowdonia and Northumberland, while the final one is a Scandinavian setting, written by two talented authors it’s an unforgettable novel.

Hope you’re all enjoying this beautiful weekend.

When in Northumberland I visit a couple of bookshops, Barter Books in Alnwick for second hand finds and Cogito Books in Hexham for their non-fiction and new releases. Last time I had some book vouchers so I went to Hexham and was recommended Mari Hannah’s Stone and Oliver series. I bought the first one then found more of the series in charity shops, but hadn’t got round to reading them yet. So when a publisher offered this I wondered whether I should, but I can’t resist and now Im setting aside time to read the rest of this series.

Frankie Oliver and David Stone have been working together in the same MIT for the a few years, but this book starts in a much darker place when another detective was called to a body found on some waste ground. Horrified, he drops to the floor unable to contain his devastation. The body on the ground is his daughter. It’s such a powerful and emotive opening, leaving us in no doubt that this is a defining event for the loved ones of this girl. An absence that the Oliver family feel every day. It’s arguable that this case is the very reason that Frankie Oliver became a detective. She and David Stone are an incredible team at work and have the potential to take their relationship further. It’s clear there’s been some ‘will they won’t they’ over the course of the previous novels. Now Frankie is taking a break from the team in Newcastle, a promotion to DI means she must fill a post back in uniform based out of the most northerly police station in the county, Berwick-Upon-Tweed. Frankie accepts and the team organise a leaving ‘do’. It’s there that Dave overhears an argument that immediately propels him back to the murder of Joanna, Frankie’s sister. What’s said between the two men outside the venue sparks an idea in Dave’s mind. He has had an idea of how to investigate the cold case, but knows that he doesn’t want to bring more pain to the family. Hopefully Frankie’s secondment to Berwick means they won’t have to. 

Meanwhile Frankie’s first job is an RTC on the A1 and in the total chaos she finds a little boy handcuffed in the back of a van. The driver and passenger are dead and the van is a write off so Frankie can’t believe this little boy has survived. As she rescues him, an onlooker tells her that a man escaped out of the back doors straight after the crash. This opens up a trafficking case that might take her straight back out of uniform again. The boy, Amir, takes to Frankie. Possibly the first person in a long time who has made him feel safe. As for the relationship between Frankie and Dave, I was very much invested despite not knowing everything that’s gone before. The setting is beautifully captured in it’s contradictions: the modernity and buzz of Newcastle with the contrast of the wild countryside and beautifully rugged coastline. This really is a nail-biting story, written in very short chapters that are easy to devour very quickly. So many have a brilliant cliff-hanger ending too. I can’t wait to read more.

The blurb on the back of this novel promises an electrifying blockbuster that will be the start of a ‘nerve shattering’ new series. So there’s a lot to live up to, but Son definitely delivers. To use a rather inelegant phrase, this novel is a therapist’s wet dream of a novel – hidden characters, unexplained black outs, grief, trauma and an investigator who is dubbed The Human Lie Detector. I was definitely in my element here. Kari Voss is the centre of this tangled web, a psychologist who specialises in memory and body language and acts as a consultant to Oslo’s police force. When two girls are brutally killed in a summer house in the village of Son, it’s a crime that’s closer to home than she would want. The girls, Eva and Hedda, were best friends with Kari’s son Vetle when they were younger. In fact it was while on a holiday seven years ago that Vetle disappeared in nearby woods and was never found. The girls are now teenagers and were planning a Halloween party for their friends, but were found tied to dining chairs with their throats cut. They were found by a third friend, Samuel Gregson, when he turned up to start the festivites and it is also an old friend of Vetle’s that police chief Ramona Norum arrests and starts to question. When Kari is asked to consult she knows this will be difficult, not only is she friends with the girl’s families, their lives are inextricably linked to her missing son. How will she negotiate all the emotions this case will unleash and find the girl’s killer? 

No one is what they appear here. As Kari starts to ask questions about Eva and Hedda, it turns out that they aren’t always the polite children or young teenagers they appear to be. The authors are very clever about the amount of introspection they use, creating a hidden layer to the crimes and a breathing space between the character driven chapters and the ones filled with nail-bitingly intense action. There’s even subterfuge in the title, Son is a place slightly north of Oslo, steeped in Nordic history and full of that unsettling atmosphere that I find Nordic Noir is so good at. Yet it’s also a person, so missed by those who love him and inextricably linked to this landscape, that has potentially become his final resting place. I was compelled to read this to the end, taking it everywhere with me on holiday so I could grab a chapter in a coffee shop or even in the car. This is an engrossing and addictive start to a promised new series and I’m already craving the next instalment.  

This is the story of three women – one an orphan and refugee who finds a place in the studio of a famous French artist, the other a wife and mother who has stood by her husband for nearly forty years. The third is his daughter, caught in the crossfire between her mother and a father she adores. Amelie is first drawn to Henri Matisse as a way of escaping the conventional life expected of her. A free spirit, she sees in this budding young artist a glorious future for them both. Lydia Delectorskaya is a young Russian emigree, who fled her homeland following the death of her mother. After a fractured childhood, she is trying to make a place for herself on France’s golden Riviera, amid the artists, film stars and dazzling elite. Eventually she finds employment with the Matisse family. From this point on, their lives are set on a collision course. Marguerite is Matisse’s eldest daughter. When the life of her family implodes, she must find her own way to make her mark and to navigate divided loyalties.

Based on a true story, Madame Matisse is a stunning novel about drama and betrayal; emotion and sex; glamour and tragedy, all set in the hotbed of the 1930s art movement in France. In art, as in life, this a time when the rules were made to be broken. I loved reading about these fascinating women, all of which step outside the traditional role of most women of the time. Sophie beautifully situates Matisse within his peer group, especially his great rival Picasso. Then situates each woman perfectly within their history, the most in depth being Lydia’s Russian background and Marguerite’s incredible bravery in WW2. I thoroughly enjoyed looking up the paintings mentioned and seeing Matisse’s representation of the three women who were closest to him and I found myself reading articles about him and Picasso. It left me with a sense of anger and empathy for how much women sacrifice so that men can excel at what they do, realising their ambitions while their wive’s ambitions are forgotten or buried under a suffocating mental load – still the thing women in my group talk about most. These women never take the limelight away from Matisse, even while stripped bare for people to view. The focus is always on the painter, their brush strokes, choice of colour and artistic decisions. I love that in this novel they are more than body parts, they’re shown as the vital, brave, complex and generous women they clearly were.  

Set in 1895 when a train did crash onto the platform at Montparnasse, Donoghue places us very definitely in the fin de siecle, with every little detail. It isn’t just her description of the train, which I could picture very clearly, it’s the character’s clothing and their attitudes. There’s certainly evidence of a shift in the Victorian ideals that held firm throughout the 19th Century. In one journey we can see women being more outspoken, having a definite sense of purpose, and a need to determine their own destiny. Women are travelling alone or for work, in the case of Alice she is travelling with her boss as the secretary for his photographic business. She takes the opportunity to talk to him about moving pictures, she has researched the subject and thinks it could be a new market for the firm. Marcelle is researching in the field of science and huge fan of Marie Curie who is so work focused that she went to get married in an everyday blue dress and returned to the lab.I was absolutely fascinated with Mado. She stands out more than she realises, with her androgynous clothing and short hair, not to mention the lunch bucket she’s clutching as if her life depends on it. She’s a feminist, an anarchist and seems to have an interest in reading other people. Her own internal struggle is so vivid that I could feel the tension in her body as I read. She seems contemptuous of many of her fellow passengers, particularly the men, knowing that the Victorian feminine ideal is simply a role women are forced to play. To step outside of the norm is brave and a deliberate outward show of her inner strength and determination to change women’s place in the world. How far might she go to show her resolve?

Gradually I was compelled to keep reading because the tension was rising with every new passenger and because as the reader I was omniscient: Donoghue gives her reader the full story and we know the potential fate of every character on this train. Brilliant as always!

1843. On a remote Scottish island, Ivar, the sole occupant, leads a life of quiet isolation until the day he finds a man unconscious on the beach below the cliffs. The newcomer is John Ferguson, an impoverished church minister sent to evict Ivar and turn the island into grazing land for sheep. Unaware of the stranger’s intentions, Ivar takes him into his home, and in spite of the two men having no common language, a fragile bond begins to form between them. Meanwhile, on the mainland, John’s wife, Mary, anxiously awaits news of his mission.
Against the rugged backdrop of this faraway spot beyond Shetland, Carys Davies’s intimate drama unfolds with tension and tenderness: a touching and crystalline study of ordinary people buffeted by history and a powerful exploration of the distances and connections between us.

Clear is so beautifully set within some very significant events. In the 19th Century evangelical worshippers moved away from the Church of Scotland to form the Free Church of Scotland. Also, there was a second wave of Scottish landowners driving their tenants from the land, choosing to make a better profit grazing sheep. This was just one part the Highland Clearances. Our characters are deeply involved with these events. This is such a gentle story that contains so much. Instead of pushing an agenda or viewpoint, the author just lets it play out naturally. Ivar is part of this island, a bear of a man with only his animals for company. There’s a purity to his life that’s almost spiritual, an interesting contrast to John’s organised religion. There’s so much under the surface of the story, told in the tiny details of everyday life: their gestures, the intimacies they share and how those connections change as a language is formed between them. It’s interesting to see the established dynamic of John and Ivar affecting how Mary settles into the cottage. The men’s connection brings the three of them into a unit, so that they don’t feel like a married couple and a lone man any more. Each of them forms a strong connection with each other and the landscape. I found reading this an almost meditative experience, because it’s so slow and calm, until the sudden end.

Living and working in Snowdonia was always retired detective Frank Marshal’s dream. Until a phone call asking for his help turns it into his worst nightmare. Retired detective Frank Marshal lives in a remote part of Snowdonia with his wife Rachel who is suffering from dementia. Working as a park ranger, Frank gets a phone call from close friend Annie, a retired judge. Her sister Meg has gone missing from a local caravan park and she needs his help to find her.

As Frank and Annie start to unravel the dark secrets of Meg’s life, it seems at first that her disappearance might be linked to her nephew and a drug deal gone wrong. In a shocking twist, their investigation leads them to a series of murders in North Wales from the 1990s and a possible miscarriage of justice. Can Frank and Annie uncover the sinister truth so they find her sister in time to save her? Or will a brutal serial killer add Meg to his list of victims?

I’m always complaining about thrillers and crime novels that rely on their twists and turns without any depth to the characters or the story. I couldn’t complain at all here. There are twists, including one I only started to suspect few pages before it was revealed. This book was full of emotion: Frank and his wife sitting in bed and looking at old photos was so poignant since both know her dementia is progressing and she is slowly forgetting it all; the beautiful relationship between Frank and his grandson; Annie’s grief over her sister’s disappearance and her nephew’s accident. All felt like fully realised people, even those only in the novel a short time. I could see Frank locking horns with police chief Dewi in the future or the scouse drug dealers. I loved the setting too, the author has managed to capture it’s beauty and it’s bleakness. This was a cracking mystery that crept up on you slowly then didn’t let you put it down. I’m looking forward to many more adventures with Frank Marshal. 

So that’s all for March, but next month’s reading is busy as always. Here are a few books still lurking on my TBR for April. It’s going to be a great month.

Posted in Netgalley

We All Live Here by Jojo Moyes 

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Lila’s life is built on shifting sands at the moment. Lila is a single mum to Celie and Violet since her husband died revealed his affair with Mayja, a yummy mummy from the school gates. His betrayal was made worse by the fact Lila was promoting her book, on how to have a successful marriage. Her mum died recently and stepdad Bill and has slowly moved himself from their bungalow a few doors away, into Lila’s house along with his piano and healthy eating regime. To add a further unexpected surprise her biological father Gene turns up looking for a bed. Gene is a hellraiser, a drinking and partying actor whose claim to fame is playing the captain of a starship in a 1960’s sci- fi series. He’s still living off that fame and Lila is unsure whether she can trust him. Bill and Gene can’t stand each other. However, she gives him the sofa bed in her office, where she’s trying to produce three chapters of a new book that her agent is chasing. Lila wanted to write something honest, but the publisher is looking for the humorous and sexy exploits of a newly divorced woman. How can she write in one dad’s bedroom, while her other dad is practising his piano and planning garden renovations. Not to mention dreading school pick-up and having to see her husband’s girlfriend wafting around like a butterfly, waiting for her son Hugo. The final nail in the coffin comes when Mayja announces she’s pregnant. The last thing Lila feels like doing is pursuing romance, but to keep her agent and publisher happy and the roof over their heads she is going to have to come up with some sexy exploits. Enter Jensen the gardener and Gabriel the architect, but can Lila carve out any time for them or herself? 

Lila’s house is something quite rare in fiction, which sometimes feels full of American fridge freezers and Quooker taps. It has quirks like ancient coloured bathroom suites and a toilet that blocks regularly. Celie is 16 and clearly dealing with something at school that she won’t talk about. Violet has had to cope with a boy in her class now being her step-brother, not to mention no longer being the baby. Pressure builds for them all as Mayja becomes unwell and has to be at hospital until the birth of their baby. They are living of the last of Lila’s money from her first book, but it won’t last forever and submitting one of the most raw and honest pieces of writing she’s ever done only to see it rejected, is very hard to take. I had my hear set on Jensen from the minute he came to do the garden because there’s no barrier or mask with him, what you see is what you get. As he and Lila start to talk about Bill’s plans for the garden, often sharing a brew outdoors and chatting, there’s a clear friendship growing. He’s so easy to talk to and remarkably open. Gabriel is his polar opposite in a lot of ways, there’s an instant attraction for Lila and a lot of messaging back and forth but I could sense that he wanted to be in control of their interactions. I am very wary of men who pick you up and then put you away when they’re done, like a worn and boring plaything. There’s a lot of humour in Lila’s attempts to gather sexploits for her book, but there’s clearly potential for people to get hurt too. I also learned a few terms, most notably ‘bread crumbing’ which I’ve been subjected to a couple of times. Similarly, a previous partner described me as ‘too much’ so I had a t-shirt made with ‘too much’ on it and wore it proudly, sad for myself that I spent time on someone who wasn’t enough. This is something Lila comes to realise, maybe Dan’s affair was a symptom of their relationship going wrong? If only she’d known it was ok to take up space.

‘She thinks sometimes that she always felt she was a little too much for him, too needy, too angry, too sad, too hysterical.’

I really fell in love with this family, as unwieldy as it is somehow it does work. I admired Lila, who tries her best to be on board with the changes in her life especially around her marriage. She knows that the girls will have a sibling but can she accept Dan and Mayja as part of that family? Their relationship does hurt her, but her feelings aren’t going to stop them becoming parents and she wants her girls to have a good relationship with the baby. I thought she was incredibly brave to try and put herself back in the dating pool, something I’ve always avoided. I used to say that if someone comes into my life that’s fine, but I’m not wasting my free time on people I potentially don’t like, especially when there are good books waiting on my TBR! Luckily my husband did just that. He walked (fell) into my front door and I feel like we’ve never stopped talking since. You can see the work Lila has done on herself as she dispenses little bits of wisdom on the way: 

The dynamic between Gene and Bill is funny too, it’s immediately antagonistic but their bickering made me smile. Bill is angry thanks to all the things Lila’s mother, Francesca, has told him and for his desertion of his wife and daughter. Bill sees Lila as his daughter and has never had any competition for her affections. There’s obviously a fear that Gene will pick Lila up and then drop her again, even worse there’s now Celie and Violet to consider. Bill has always shown love in the way he cooks healthy meals for the girls, picks them up from school and spends time with them. Gene wants to have fun with them, Violet is especially fond of snuggling up on the couch after school and watching her new Grandad’s old sci-fi series. Celie is more difficult to befriend, but Gene is surprisingly perceptive and works out what’s wrong, giving her good solid advice that works. Far from this being a bed for a couple of nights, Lila can actually see him fitting in with their family and that scares her. Especially when she finds out there are secrets about his relationship with her mother that surprise her and potentially hurt Bill. 

I read this books so quickly because I felt I was observing a real family, with all the chaos and the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with it. I loved that in a family with so many people, there was always someone who could be there for somebody else, like Gene is there for Celie. There’s so much acceptance in this novel and it’s a great message for a New Year where we are pushed into thinking we need to detox, eat less, go the gym, run 5k and all that other rubbish. Lila learns to accept the change in her life, but will she move on when she’s ready, rather than for a book deal? She also has to accept that a person can have huge flaws, but still have a place and the ability to be a support for others. Bill has to accept Francesca is not coming back and the Gene who hurt Francesca all those years ago isn’t the Gene in front of him now. Both the girls have to accept that they now share their father, but could build a new relationship with Mayja and their new sibling that enhances their life. There are so many breakthroughs here that I can’t list them all, but I did identify hugely with a scene where Lila finally takes some time for herself and has a massage, encouraged by her friend. In the final throes of my last relationship I visited a Bowen Therapist and had a similar experience. 

‘something wells in her, an emotion unlocked by the reality of another human being touching her, listening to Lila’s body, feeling its pain and its tensions and carefully remedying them. Suddenly, she feels a great swell of something overwhelming her. Grief ? Gratitude? She isn’t sure. She becomes aware that she is weeping, the tears running unchecked through the hole where her face is nestled, dropping onto the floor, her shoulders vibrating with an emotion she can no longer hold back.’

This was a beautifully written moment where someone is just there for Lila and the weight of holding everybody up can fall from her shoulders. It’s the first time she has taken for herself and all the emotions she’s kept in check can come out. I love how Jojo Moyes writes women and the mental load we carry for everyone around us. A load more exhausting than childcare, housework, career all rolled into one. Here she lets go and it’s the point at which she starts to rebuild her life. Does she pick the gardener or the sexy architect? I’ll leave that for you to find out. 

Out on 11th Feb from Michael Joseph.

Meet the Author

Jojo Moyes is a novelist and journalist. Her books include the bestsellers Me Before You, After You and Still Me, The Girl You Left Behind, The One Plus One and her short story collection Paris for One and Other Stories. The Giver of Stars is her most recent bestseller and Reese Witherspoon Book Club Pick. Her novels have been translated into forty-six languages, have hit the number one spot in twelve countries and have sold over thirty-eight million copies worldwide.

Me Before You has now sold over fourteen million copies worldwide and was adapted into a major film starring Sam Claflin and Emilia Clarke. Jojo lives in Essex with her family.

Posted in Netgalley

Crescendo by Joanna Howat

Posted on by thelotusreaders

I love reading debuts because you’re never sure what you’re going to find and this tale of two adult siblings who lose their parents suddenly has all the family dynamics and trauma that I love to untangle in a novel. Jamie and Caz are used to their parents being top of the social scale in their area, a small village close to a market town in Yorkshire. Their family home is a hall in the centre of the village, where Jamie still lives alongside his parents having not found his career path yet. Caz has left home, but has a chequered history of teen pregnancy and alcoholism. She married husband Steve after he came to work on the hall’s electrics when her first little girl was only a baby and she had been sober for several months. Now they live in a cottage a short drive away from her childhood home and recently she’s had another baby. The catalyst to their problems is the loss of their parents. One Sunday both siblings are there for lunch when Jamie and his father clash over what he sees as his son’s fecklessness when it comes to making a life for himself. Jamie has secured a job with the local estate agents but desperately needs to sell a house this month. The best thing in his life is his recent relationship with local vet Zoe. What Jamie loves is his piano, but he doesn’t think he has the skill of a concert pianist. This Sunday he decides not to take his father’s criticism and storms out in a huff. That night the hall goes up in flames, so fast that no one could escape and the hall is burned to the ground. 

For both siblings the village now looks like a set of teeth with one missing. The huge gap left in the centre is soon boarded so no one can see the wreckage, but it doesn’t allay the shock. Caz is immediately emotional, dazed even and takes refuge with Ruth, their housekeeper who lived next to the hall. Jamie seems frozen. The only thing he wants to save is his piano but it is damaged, maybe beyond repair. Insurance will take care of it and will hopefully rebuild the hall, but do they want that? They have no idea about their parent’s wishes, for the meantime Jamie has to buy some clothes and moves in with Zoe. It’s very early in their relationship but Jamie thinks they’ll get along fine. As he moves through life like an automaton, Caz starts to slide downhill. Gin was her usual tipple, but avoiding that she thinks an occasional glass of wine won’t hurt. One glass soon becomes a bottle and as she starts to hide her stash from Steve we can see that this could be a serious relapse. So can Jamie, but he’s having his own problems. The turmoil in his life is too heavy for the early stages of a relationship. Zoe had no relationship with his parents and although she can listen, she still has her own routine of riding and looking after her horse, whereas at the moment Jamie is sleepwalking through work and every time they are intimate, visions of the hall burning down come into his mind and ruin the moment. He’s not sure if he’s dealing with his grief at all. When Zoe decides they need some space from each other, he moves out to Caz and Steve’s house. Now he’s noticing that his sister isn’t coping either and his nieces are suffering. How can the siblings best help each other to cope? 

I loved how the author shows grief hitting people in different ways. In some ways Jamie has never had to grow up. Living under his parent’s roof has enabled to try jobs and leave them with minimum consequences, while away hours in the village pub and not think beyond tomorrow. Caz has also depended on her parents, dropping out of university pregnant and with an alcohol problem. She moved home and had her baby there, until Steve actually walked through the door for a contracting job and they fell in love. For both of them, there’s now no safety net and the place filled with all those memories has gone too. Jamie also fears the loss of his piano, which has been lifted from the wreckage and been sent to a specialist repairer by the insurers. Music was the way that Jamie processed his emotions and without it he seems strangely neutral all the time, occasionally tapping out melodies using his fingers on whatever surface he find. Caz is more erratic, grabbing convenience foods instead of her usual home cooked meals and forgetting the girls activities or even to wash their uniforms. When the drinking starts Steve stays away from it, leaving Jamie with a full time job and two small children to feed and get out of the door in the open. He knows teachers have noticed the girls are a bit unkempt, but he doesn’t want to drop his sister in it. He just keeps smiling and nodding that everything’s okay. There’s only one person that won’t have the wool pulled over their eyes and that’s their parent’s housekeeper Ruth. Caz fears not letting the emotions out. Jamie thinks if he gives in and feels his emotions he might fall apart completely.

Through Jamie the author shows how grief can change our outlook on life completely. He becomes sentimental about an old couple looking for a house. He has a beautiful Georgian house on the books and he’s shown it to a rude and superior client with an enormous dog who didn’t seem interested. Then he has an adorable old couple who want to downsize and be closer to amenities, but he needs a studio to work in and it is in town. When he shows it to them he knows it should be theirs and when they offer he is ecstatic and shakes hands. Then the first woman comes back and offers 10k over the asking price, but Jamie says it’s already sold and turns her offer down, much to the fury of his manager. Jamie feels different, where once he might have taken the high offer now he can’t. Does he see his own parents in the old couple? Or is it that loss has given him a conscience? I really identified with this because after being seriously ill I returned to my work as an advertising rep only to struggle with selling newspaper space. It felt so trivial in the scheme of things I simply didn’t have the killer instinct. This was when I was sacked but went on to train as a counsellor and worked with the Mental Health Team in my area. It felt like I’d helped someone every day I went to work and it felt more in tune with my changing values. 

I really felt for Jamie and wanted him to get his piano back and be able to express himself more. I was also so happy at his care for his nieces and his loyalty to his sister. Underneath the immaturity Zoe was concerned about, he’s a kind, perceptive and caring man. I was hoping they would find a way back to each other. Similarly I wanted Steve to reconnect with his wife and family and realise that while keeping a roof over their head was important, so was spending time together as a family. The author’s setting is perfect and having lived in villages all my life, I knew they come with beautiful countryside around them, but also residents who want to know all of your business. As my parents get older I do wonder what it might be like when they’re gone and I’m now the oldest member of the family. They’re my anchor, but so is my brother and I know our relationship will probably be stronger. I think the author makes it clear how seismic a shock it is when someone close to us dies. I loved the play on musical terms because the storyline has a tempo and Jamie is our conductor, desperately trying to keep the orchestra together towards the crescendo and beyond. This is a thoughtful and real story that had a lot of heart in it. 

Out now from Flying Dog Press

Meet the Author


Joanna Howat trained as a journalist and worked as a news producer for BBC Radio 5 Live. She now lives in her native North Yorkshire with her family and two spaniels, and is a keen classical pianist. Crescendo is her first published novel.

Posted in Orenda

Black Hearts by Doug Johnstone

Posted on by thelotusreaders

As all subscribers and Twitter followers must know by now, I am a huge fan of The Skelf series. I’m a Skelfaholic and it’s become a strange cycle of waiting for the next book to be published, devouring it overnight then longing for the next one. It’s even worse this time because I have it on good authority that this might be the penultimate book in the series. So one more book and no more Skelfing! I’m going to be like a weasel with a sore head when I have to go cold turkey. It has been wonderful to be back in Edinburgh with this family: part private investigators, part undertakers and all round incredible women. For those who haven’t met them yet, the Skelfs are three generations of one family. Grandmother Dorothy is in her seventies, but is still active in both the investigative and the funeral parts of the business. In her spare time she still drums like a badass and has a lover almost twenty years her junior. Daughter Jenny is back home, living above the business and struggling with memories of psychopath ex- husband Craig. She’s drowning her pain with alcohol and sex. Jenny’s daughter Hannah is now a PhD student, working in the astrophysics department, but still finding time to help out. She’s now married to Indy, feeling settled and starting to move past what happened to her father. The women are brought some unusual cases, both for funerals and PI work. A gentleman approaches Dorothy after his wife’s funeral, to ask if they can help him with a nighttime visitor. He believes his wife’s spirit is punishing him and he has the bruises to prove it. Hannah is approached by Laura, a young woman who claims to know her, but Hannah has no recollection of her. When Laura starts to turn up wherever Hannah goes, she suspects mental health problems. She stops being harmless the closer she gets to the family, especially when Hannah drops into the funeral parlour and finds Laura talking to Indy. Laura wants them to do her mother’s funeral, but Hannah thinks it’s unwise. How can she let this fragile girl down gently? 

Aside from their cases Johnstone picks up those storylines that weave throughout the novels. In the main we are drawn back to Craig, Jenny’s ex-husband and Hannah’s father, who is still haunting the family. Jenny is most visibly affected by her interactions with Craig’s family, most notably his sister, who seems to have inherited his ability to manipulate and turn to violence to get what she wants. Will Craig ever leave them alone and will Jenny be able to tread the line between her own pain as his ex and Hannah’s pain as his daughter. Both tend to overlook the grief that Dorothy still feels at the loss of her own husband Jim, complicated now by her relationship with police detective Thomas. Indy’s grief is also overlooked a lot, especially since she’s just gone through disinterring her parents in order to give them the cremation in line with their faith. Hannah and Jenny bring the drama and it’s Jenny I was particularly worried about. She’s getting messy, day drinking and embarking on a highly controversial sexual relationship with the wrong person. She never wakes up feeling better, but in the moment she has to drown out the constant pictures in her head. This is PTSD and she’s in danger of drawing others into her drama, especially Archie who works for the funeral business. Can she rein in her behaviour? Even professional help seems doomed to failure at this point. 

Aside from these incredible women, and the lovely Indy of course, the things I most love about these books is Doug Johnstone’s love for Edinburgh and the way he weaves incredible ideas, philosophy and physics into his novels. I’ve not been to Edinburgh since I was in my twenties, but the way he describes the city makes me want to go back. He doesn’t sugar coat the place either, there’s good and bad here, but as a whole it’s a poem to a place that’s in his soul. Dorothy muses on her home town a lot in this novel and considering she was born in America, this place is her heart’s homeland. She ponders on the people this city produces, including her husband and child, the history, the architecture almost as if she’s taking stock. She concludes that she’s a person who always looks forward to where life’s going, but grief is like the tide and there’s no telling when those waves will wash ashore again. Jenny tends to frequent the less salubrious areas of the city. She’s stuck. Her past has quite literally washed ashore and the problem with losing someone is you’re not the only one grieving and everyone grieves differently. She’s not mourning Craig as he truly was. She’s grieving the loss of all that hope; the hope they both had for the future on their wedding day and when Hannah was born. Similarly Craig’s mum and sister aren’t missing the Craig who committed all those terrible crimes. Violet misses the little boy she had and the life she wanted for him and his sister misses her baby brother. Hannah seems to be the person most resigned to the loss of her father. She always seems older than she is and with Indy alongside her she has the support she needs. There’s so much wisdom in these two young women, honed from a combination of Indy’s spirituality, years of working with grieving families and Hannah’s physics knowledge, especially where it tries to explain the universe. The supermassive black holes that are thought to be at the heart of every galaxy are mysterious. We know that they have a huge power that acts like a magnet, drawing in items from across the universe. 

I loved the element of Japanese spirituality and having read Messina’s novel The Phonebox at the Edge of the World, I loved the concept of the wind phone. I’ve always thought that a good way of letting go of the past, especially when you’re struggling emotionally, is to make a physical gesture or step in the direction you want to go. That might mean taking off a wedding ring when you’re getting divorced, or moving house where it’s full of old memories. I found talking to my late husband in my head a bit strange and it only made me miss him more. So I wrote to him in my journal instead. To have a phonebox dedicated to speaking with those who have died seems a very effective way of keeping them in the present with you, but in a controlled and deliberate way. Samuel Beckett said: 

“Memories are killing. So you must not think of certain things, of those that are dear to you, or rather you must think of them, for if you don’t there is the danger of finding them, in your mind, little by little.” 

Each of the Skelf women have their own grief to bear, a black hole at the centre of their heart. Each must find their own way to remember a little, to prevent becoming overwhelmed by their memories. Only by reconciling this, can they live in the present moment and make plans for their altered future. 

Meet the Author

Doug Johnstone is the author of fifteen novels, most recently The Space Between Us (2023). Several of his books have been bestsellers, The Big Chill (2020) was longlisted for the Theakston Crime Novel of the Year, while A Dark Matter (2020), Breakers (2019) and The Jump (2015) were all shortlisted for the McIlvanney Prize for Scottish Crime Novel of the Year. He’s taught creative writing and been writer in residence at various institutions over the last two decades including festivals, libraries, universities, schools, prisons and a funeral directors.

Doug is a Royal Literary Fund Consultant Fellow and works as a mentor and manuscript assessor for many organisations, including The Literary Consultancy, Scottish Book Trust and New Writing North. He’s been an arts journalist for over twenty years and has also written many short stories and screenplays. He is a songwriter and musician with six albums and three EPs released, and plays drums for the Fun Lovin’ Crime Writers, a band of crime writers. He’s also co-founder of the Scotland Writers Football Club.

Posted in Orenda

The Great Silence by Doug Johnstone

Posted on by thelotusreaders

I have already created two new hashtags for this third novel in the Skelf family series. The first was #bookbereavement, because when I finished it I wanted to turn straight back to the first page and start again. The second was #Skelfaholic and I am a fully paid up member. It is agreed that if this series ends (please no!) then we Skelfaholics will be holding a wake by drinking whiskey in a funeral home, followed by star-gazing at the observatory. It’s hard to put across how much I love the Skelf women, their cases, the way they conduct their funeral business with such dignity, and their investigation business with more balls than most men. I read this book almost as soon as I received it, and I’ve been sitting on it excitedly ever since, desperately trying not to say anything until the blog tour. Now I can happily say Doug Johnstone has done it again. This is a fantastic read. 

For those who are new to the series, the Skelf women are three generations living under the same roof: Dorothy the grandmother, Jenny the mother, and Hannah the granddaughter. They ‘live above the shop’; their businesses being a strange mix of funeral directors and private investigators. Oh and Dorothy is a music teacher too, so there are often teenagers wandering in and out and playing the drums. In fact there are often waifs and strays under the Skelf’s roof. Hannah’s girlfriend Indy was one of their waifs, brought into the fold when her parents died and the Skelf’s organised their funeral. She now looks after the funeral business with the same calm and dignity she brings to Hannah’s life. Einstein the dog arrived when a police chase ended with a van crashing nose first into one of their graves, during the funeral. The dog was in the van and with his owner dead, he became part of the household and a companion of Schrodinger, the cat. Jenny mainly works on the private investigation side, but has a lot of her time taken up by her ex and Hannah’s father, Craig who escaped prison and is now closer than they think. Finally, there’s Hannah, starting her PhD with the astrophysics department and pondering the question of why other life in the universe has never tried to contact us – the ‘Great Silence’ of the title. 

The book begins with a strange event. Dorothy takes Einstein for a walk in the park and he fetches a human foot, even more strange is that it appears to be embalmed. This embroils Dorothy in a very unusual case that could be deadly. Jenny is dealing with the aftermath of her ex-husband’s actions in the last book, she’s still healing emotionally and potentially regretting the end of her relationship with painter, Liam. She misses him, and wonders if perhaps they could rekindle something. Then the other daughter of her ex-husband disappears and Jenny wonders if her life will ever be free of this man, as she joins forces with the other woman in his life to find her daughter. Finally, Hannah is facing massive changes in her academic and personal life. In a sense she’s being pulled between past and future. Her graduation becomes a double celebration when Indy proposes, but then she’s pulled into the past when their flat is broken into and someone makes it clear they still want to be part of her life. Her academic supervisor asks her if she’ll look into one of the central questions of astrophysics, if there is extraterrestrial life, why haven’t they replied to our messages? José has had a reply, but doesn’t know where it’s come from. Is it really from another life form or is someone playing game with him? 

There’s so much packed into this novel, but Doug Johnstone never loses a thread. Each storyline is given equal time and care. As I was reading the novel and writing this review, my husband saw my search history on my iPad and looked confused. I had tabs open for SETI (an institute set up to search for possible extraterrestrial life), the embalming process, numbers of big cats kept in domestic homes in the U.K, and Hindu funeral rites. Yes, the author does go to all these different places in the novel, not to mention the Italian gigolo and elderly lady, and they all interweave harmoniously.  I love the unexpected situations they find themselves in, such as Indy and Hannah taking a walk in the park and encountering a black panther. I also love how these women throw off expectations and be themselves. Dorothy is an elderly lady, but she goes to clubs when one of her students is playing a gig, and has a healthy sex life with her long time friend and police contact, Thomas. She’s investigating the ‘foot’ incident, which becomes more urgent once another foot turns up belonging to someone different. She’s also investigating the panther incident and visits experts keeping wildcats at their homes. In between she’s supporting Abi, now living with the Skelfs, who gets a huge shock when a man claiming to be her birth father shows up. 

Jenny has to face her ex- husband and there is a sense that this might be their final showdown. They had originally thought he’d be far away in another country, but with huge estates covering thousands of acres in Scotland, it’s not inconceivable that he’s been hiding close by all along. The strength of both Hannah and Jenny in facing him again, is amazing.  They’re scared – so much so that Hannah and Indy move back in to the family home – but know that the only way to stop this man ruling their lives is to find him and have him locked away again. I felt for Jenny, who had just turned a corner emotionally and was considering her life moving forward, and whether she wanted to remain alone. She’s also investigating on behalf of a brother and sister who are concerned their elderly mother is being misled by an Italian playboy. As usual Jenny is professional with her investigation, but uneasy about her clients and their motives. Meanwhile, behind all these fireworks, the kind and loyal Indy is having a crisis about her grandparents. They are traditional, but to Hannah’s surprise they want to fly over from India for their wedding. They don’t mind their granddaughter marrying a woman it seems, but they do have a huge request relating to the death of Indy’s parents. Leading to some very hard choices for Indy, who I’m especially fond of.  

Doug Johnstone is so many things at once: a gritty crime writer; a poet; a philosopher; a lover of the city where he bases this series; and an incredible writer of women. Johnstone writes real women, women who are intelligent, ballsy and true to themselves which is why I love them so much. One philosophical idea that stood out to me was ‘sonder’. It’s a word I’ve become aware of because it’s the title of my work in progress – where there are people in a difficult situation desperately trying to understand each other. Sonder is the sense I often get in a very busy train station when I look around at all the people and realise that every one of them has a complex and unique life just like mine. It’s the name of a cafe that Hannah visits near the university campus and as she sits there after her graduation, with Indy, Jenny and Dorothy she realises something. These three women come into people’s lives at a terrible moment, but have the ability to treat each person’s grief as if it was the most important thing to them. It reminded me of bringing a client into my counselling room, creating a safe space where, for an hour, the most important thing in the room is this person and whatever they bring to talk about. I think this is possibly why I feel such a strong kinship with these women. Jenny will take a drink with a homeless person and pass the time of day and Dorothy will connect with a young person fifty years her junior and make them feel welcome. I hope a little of the Skelfs rubs off on all of us. There was something about this book that felt like a finale, but I’m hoping against hope there’s more to come from these characters who I love. I’ll miss them, till next time. 

Meet the Author

Doug Johnstone is the author of fifteen novels, most recently The Space Between Us (2023). Several of his books have been bestsellers, The Big Chill (2020) was longlisted for the Theakston Crime Novel of the Year, while A Dark Matter (2020), Breakers (2019) and The Jump (2015) were all shortlisted for the McIlvanney Prize for Scottish Crime Novel of the Year. He’s taught creative writing and been writer in residence at various institutions over the last two decades including festivals, libraries, universities, schools, prisons and a funeral directors.

Doug is a Royal Literary Fund Consultant Fellow and works as a mentor and manuscript assessor for many organisations, including The Literary Consultancy, Scottish Book Trust and New Writing North. He’s been an arts journalist for over twenty years and has also written many short stories and screenplays. He is a songwriter and musician with six albums and three EPs released, and plays drums for the Fun Lovin’ Crime Writers, a band of crime writers. He’s also co-founder of the Scotland Writers Football Club.

Posted in Random Things Tours

This Motherless Land by Nikki May.

Posted on by thelotusreaders

This book was an absolute joy to read, which may sound strange considering the subject matter but somehow it awakened my senses, stirred my emotions and kept me reading. In fact I read it so quickly I was finished in an evening that turned into morning before I knew it. Funke lives in Nigeria with her mother, known as Misses Lissie to most people, her father and brother Femi. Mum is a teacher and Dad works at the university. Their entire world is shattered one morning as they make their normal run to school when their mother’s car fails to stop and ploughs directly under a lorry. The drivers side of the car is destroyed but Funke’s side is left completely unscathed. She loses her mother and brother in a moment. In his grief, her father Babatunde is inconsolable and he takes it out on Funke. How did she get out without a scratch? Encouraged by his superstitious mother, he calls Funke a witch and insists she must be protected by some magical being. Seeing how Funke will be treated by her grandmother, her aunties put their heads together and decide she should be sent for a while to her mother’s family in England. Her white family. Funke is ripped away from everything she knows and sent to The Ring, the mansion where her mother and Aunty Margot grew up. There, although she isn’t being hit or accused of evil spells, she feels the resentment of Aunt Margot and her cousin Dominic. They call her Kate, after all it’s easier than pronouncing Funke isn’t it? There’s no colour, bland food and where she was accused of being white in Nigeria, here she is seen as black – with all the racist connotations that come alongside it. Especially in white, upperclass Britain. England’s only saving grace is her cousin Liv. Liv scoops her up and feeds her comfort food. The problem is it’s not the food or the comfort she’s used to.

This is a book about being in between. Funke’s mother was ostracised by her family for marrying a Nigerian man. Aunt Margot sees Lizzie’s relationship with Babatunde as the reason for her own engagement being called off just before the wedding. In her eyes Lizzie was selfish, pursuing her own feelings at the expense of her family. She feels Lizzie had the looks, the charisma and the man she loved, while Margot was left heartbroken and with parents who seemed to miss Lizzie more than they enjoyed Margot’s presence. She sees Funke as her mother’s daughter and a threat to her own children. Her parents seem to love Kate, as they’ve christened her, and Margot doesn’t want her to take all the attention, the love and their eventual inheritance. She’s a bitter woman who is very hard to like. Sadly for Funke, history repeats itself and on the night of their prom a series of events mean they must drive home early. Liv is drunk and high. Yet even Funke, who is teetotal, feels unwell. Dominic throws caution to the wind and decides to drive them home, despite his own drinking, and a terrible accident occurs. Everyone survives but Liv suffers a bad break to her leg. In the aftermath Dominic asks Funke to admit to driving, which she agrees to, not knowing that covering for her cousins will lead to her life being uprooted for the second time.

Funke feels like she belongs nowhere. In Nigeria when her mother was alive they had a wonderful life, even if children would follow her singing a song about her pale skin. That’s nothing to the blatant racism she faces in England, but she faces it down and it fuels her will to succeed. Then she’s back in Nigeria and is again the odd one out. This time she’s in her dad’s new family and their lifestyle in the village is very different to the childhood she remembers on the university compound. His new wife and their children eat and live in ways her dad would have dismissed as ‘bush’ when Funke was a child. Her small brother and sister are black and fascinated with her pale, mixed race skin. Things are familiar, such as the spicy red stew and the heat, but it’s a changed land without her mother in it. At least in England she didn’t expect her mother to be there. Now she faced with the shock of her absence all over again. Will she ever find home? Meanwhile, back in Britain, when Liv finally comes round from the accident she asks for Kate. What will her mother tell her?

I thought the author brilliantly showed how different people cope with mental pain. Funke takes a bottle top from her mother’s hoard (for craft projects) and holds it in her hand so hard that it cuts into her palm. Liv is horrified that she’s hurt herself like this, but for Funke it’s the only thing that distracts her from the grief of losing her and her brother. Liv also deals with motherly absence, but externalises her feelings in a different way. She has a mother who is present, just not for her. Liv starts to drink excessively, uses marijuana and acid tabs to blank out the feelings that she isn’t loved and therefore isn’t worth anything. When we’re children and we’re rejected by a parent, we never assume it’s the parent’s fault and we don’t stop loving them. Instead we internalise their criticism and think we are the problem. Liv has a lot of casual sex because she thinks it sex is all she really has to offer. Meanwhile Funke struggles to give love and truly trust someone. She is in a relationship with a young man who is keeping his true sexuality under wraps, because it’s not accepted in his family or community. The younger people are aware he’s gay and call Funke his ‘beard’, but how far can she take this relationship? What if he suggests a more permanent arrangement and is Funke willing to give her life away so easily? The the same root cause, a loss of the mother figure they so needed, affects both girls, it just manifests in different ways. With them both on opposite continents, how will they ever find each other again? The spaces between can be painful and isolating places to be and the author depicts that with such tenderness and understanding. However, liminal spaces are also freeing. Being in-between gives us the space to choose, to take bits and pieces from each place, each family and make our own identity. I found the end chapter so uplifting and it gave me hope that we can each forge our own identity, once we’ve explored who we truly are. This is a fascinating, touching story about growing up and how we become who we are. It’s vibrant, atmospheric and an absolute must read.

Meet the Author

Born in Bristol, raised in Lagos, I’m proud to be Anglo-Nigerian. I ran a successful ad agency before turning to writing and now live in Dorset with my husband, two standard schnauzers, and way too many books.

My debut novel WAHALA was inspired by a long (and loud) lunch with friends. It was published around the world in January 2022 and is being adapted into a major BBC TV drama. This Motherless Land is my second novel.

Posted in Netgalley

Sandwich by Catherine Newman

Posted on by thelotusreaders

One week in Cape Cod. The perfect family holiday. What could possibly go wrong…?

For the past two decades, Rocky has looked forward to her family’s yearly escape to Cape Cod. Their rustic beach-town rental has been the site of sweet memories, its quirky furniture and mismatched pots and pans greeted like old friends.

Now, sandwiched between her children who are adult enough to be fun but still young enough to need her, and her parents who are alive and healthy, Rocky wants to preserve this golden moment forever. This one precious week when everything is in balance; everything is in flux.

But every family has its secrets and hers is no exception.

With her body in open revolt and surprises invading her peaceful haven, the perfectly balanced seesaw of Rocky’s life is tipping towards change…

Rocky and her husband Nick have reached that middle point in life where adults seem to be at their most stretched. They’re coping with children who have left home or are living at university as well as increasingly elderly parents who need more help than they have before. This is the sandwich of the title. The emotions are conflicting, from the parental support a fledgling teenager still needs to the worry about their independence, as well as the feelings of loss that that come from empty nest syndrome. As for parents, it’s like a whole new stage in the relationship defined in the novel as ‘anticipatory grief’ because as they become increasingly frail there’s a constant reminder that the clock is ticking. This reminder of their mortality brings up feelings of loss and a sense of our own life being at their point where more is behind us than in front of us. I’m saying ‘we’ because I fall bang in the middle of this category. I have parents who have endless medical appointments, particularly Dad who seems to have surgery on a yearly basis like some sort of annuity. However, I also have one stepdaughter away at university, really stretching her wings as she ends her second year and moves in with her boyfriend. We’re only a quick call away though and we’ve gained a third child in the boyfriend. We miss her more than I can express. Then we have my other stepdaughter, one of the generation whose education has been massively affected by COVID. She has so many plans with friends that we now see her less so the loss is twofold. Then there’s the menopause, from sweating to vaginal atrophy it’s a veritable shitshow of symptoms that we’re just supposed to manage alongside everything else. To say I felt a kinship with our narrator Rocky, is an understatement. Again Catherine Newman has managed to put something on the page that’s raw, emotional and relatable. So much so that there were points in the book where I burst into tears.

Rocky is a great narrator in that I was immediately comfortable with her and believed in her world. This book was such an easy read and flowed so beautifully that I finished it in a day. A family trip to the Cape Cod holiday home they’ve rented since the children were small throws a family that’s scattered to the four winds, under one roof. Eldest child Tim is there with girlfriend Maya and student Willa has travelled from her college and meets them there. Later in the week grandma and grandad will join them for two days and of course there’s the ancient cat. They are rather piled in on tap of one another but they couldn’t come here to a different, bigger rental because so many of their memories have been made in this house. During the course of the week Rocky will learn and divulge some secrets, all of them filtered through her anxiety and what husband Nick calls a hint of narcissism. This family were so like my own that I deeply appreciated my upbringing, even though some of it wasn’t easy – we never had money, found a secret sibling then happily lost them again, mum and dad had their turbulent years. Yet I always felt loved and that’s what there’s a surfeit of in this family, everyone loves everyone else even when they disagree. Rocky is a passionate and emotionally intelligent mother, the sort of mum you might go to with a secret. She also happy to be schooled where she gets it wrong, especially where daughter Willa is concerned. She might use the wrong pronouns and need to check her privilege occasionally but largely she’s the sort of mum you want. She feels things almost too deeply and I understood that in her. She wants to breathe in her children when they’re little. She reminds me a little of something my mum and Mother, my great-grandmother, used to say when my brother and me were little: ‘ I could eat you on a butty without salt’.

I think Catherine Newman is brilliant when it comes to trauma and intergenerational family dynamics. There was a moment, as Rocky was reminiscing about a time when she miscarried that made me feel like she’d read my mind. I had recurrent miscarriages in my twenties and I’d never been desperate for children till I lost the first one. No one explained that grief can manifest in strange ways, in fact after my operation (which I’d had to consent to on a termination form) I was told when it would be physically possible to try again, but never that it might be a good idea to grieve first. To take time. As far as emotions went I was given a leaflet of phone numbers of women who’d had miscarriages – with the warning that in a lot of cases I might hear children in the background. I couldn’t bear to hear that so I didn’t call. What I do remember from that time was buying pregnancy tests in bulk and checking frequently whether I might be pregnant again, even if I’d already checked yesterday and knew I wasn’t. The author writes about Rocky staring at pregnancy tests, imagining she can see the second line in the window and trying again for the answer she really wants. I truly felt her pain in those moments and my own. I felt slightly less mad. To realise this was an understandable response to grief was so comforting. Every emotion I felt in those terrible couple of years was due to grief. I felt a failure, defective and terribly separate from people as if I was looking at life through a glass screen. Now thirty years later I’d like to thank Catherine for the way she handled this difficult story line because I finally felt less alone. I really admired the way she wrote about post-natal depression too. When my mum had my younger brother I was only four years old, but for years afterwards she had a morbid obsession that he was going to die. Every time something happened in his life she worried that this would be it. Now he would be taken away from her. I have to say that sometimes this felt very dismissive of me. Her explanation when I asked if she’d ever thought the same about me was that I could look after myself, despite me spending a long time in hospitals. This aspect of PND is something I’d never considered before and helped me to understand where she was coming from a little better.

I thought the author beautifully described how women are more aware of their bodies because we’re trained to be. In a medical world that’s often dismissive of things like period pain ( or anything that falls into the category of gynaecology and obstetrics) as a natural process, the author shows how these things truly feel physically and mentally. We have to ‘know’ as soon as we’ve got our period because the shame of being seen to bleed is fierce, especially as period shaming seems to be rife in secondary schools. Our minds and bodies are connected so we know if something is a normal pain or a pain that has a different feeling or intensity. As Rocky loses the idea of the baby she’s carrying, she’s also physically losing the baby. These moments are raw because the emotions are. There’s a desperation in physically losing a baby. The mind does gymnastics trying to find a way to keep them inside you where it’s safe. As Rocky reminisces about this time, the unresolved emotions are clear and perhaps stirred up by menopause symptoms and having her babies under one roof. I enjoyed Rocky and Nick’s marriage too. It’s not perfect and they haven’t really connected for a while, physically or mentally. When he stumbles on a long held secret it throws their dislocation into the spotlight and gives them the opportunity to talk. He still loves her, despite the fact she’s a bit of a narcissist. She recognises that throughout the holiday Nick has been cooking, organising, driving everyone and just quietly looking after everyone. They’ve been in their mum and dad roles for so long they’ve forgotten how to be Rocky and Nick. It’s something of a relief for Rocky to know that Nick still desires her, despite the expanding waistline and loss of libido. Also, as Nick points out, it’s hard to get close to someone when there’s a huge secret between them.

I connected with this novel so deeply and I raced through it in a day. I simply sat and read without music or any other distractions, that’s how engrossed I was in this family’s story. Each generation had it’s own issues to deal with. The grandparents are facing health issues and their eventual loss of each other, brought into sharp focus when grandma faints at the beach. Ricky’s son and his girlfriend are facing some huge life choices. Even great-grandparents cause a drama when Rocky’s dad lets slip that they were in a concentration camp, something Rocky’s never known. Rocky and Nick are the meat in this emotional sandwich. Catherine Newman has once again written a novel about family that is truthful, funny and life-affirming. I can easily see this being on my end of year list.

Published on 6th June by Doubleday

Meet the Author

Catherine Newman is the author of the kids’ how-to books How to Be a Person and What Can I Say?, the memoirs Catastrophic Happiness and Waiting for Birdy, the middle-grade novel One Mixed-Up Night, and the grown-up novels We All Want Impossible Things (Harper 2022) and Sandwich (Harper 2024). She edits the non-profit kids’ cooking magazine ChopChop and is a regular contributor to the New York Times, O, The Oprah Magazine, Cup of Jo, and many other publications. She lives in Amherst, Massachusetts, with her family.

Posted in Squad Pod

The Scandalous Life of Ruby Devereaux by MJ Robotham

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Everyone knows Ruby Devereaux’s books. But no one knows her story… until now.

From a teenager in wartime England to a veteran of modern-day London – via 1950’s New York, the Swinging Sixties, Cold War Berlin, Venice and Vietnam – Ruby Devereaux has lived one hell of a life: parties, scandals and conflict zones, meeting men and adventure along the way. In a writing career spanning seven decades and more than twenty books, she’s distilled everything into her work. Or has she?

There were times during this novel where I wished I was the transcriber in the room, just so I could be the first to hear this lifetime of stories. Ruby Devereaux’s editor is under pressure from above. Ruby is almost 90 years old and the publisher is determined to get the one last book she owes them. So her editor suggests that she closes her illustrious writing career with a memoir. Ruby was on the verge of packing up her typewriter, but she does perhaps have one story left in her, or maybe twelve…

The bulk of the book is Ruby’s memoir as told to her transcriptionist Jude, each chapter named after a man in her life and telling the story of their relationship. Although it’s not as simple as that, through these affairs she takes us through the latter half of the 20th Century and right across the world. It takes us through one woman’s history, but also the ever changing landscape of the world around her, taking in those unforgettable moments and some fascinating social history too. I used to be fascinated with my 90 year old grandmother and the changes she’d seen over a lifetime in the countryside: from horse drawn ploughs to huge tractors; from cycling everywhere to her children owning cars; from handwritten letters to online communication. This has similar vibes, but on a bigger scale as Ruby moves from peacetime to war and across three continents with the world constantly changing beneath her. The author weaves together the social history, world events and Ruby’s growing up with romance and scandal. Ruby has spent seventy years telling her character’s stories, but now it’s time for her own. It’s definitely a life well lived as it’s taken her to the 1950’s New York of the Mad Men, Berlin and Budapest during the Cold War, into Vietnam and into relationships with twelve different men. These are the men who’ve inspired her novels. Make no mistake though, this isn’t really about the men in her life, this is about Ruby. Each relationship captures where Ruby is at that point in her life; a chapter in her personal growth. Ruby easily outshines her male counterparts because she has such a zest for life and breaks society’s rules and expectations about women everywhere she goes. As a young girl in post-war England she’s very matter of fact about her first sexual experience, wanting it out of the way before she leaves home. She’s an incredibly resilient character, despite experiencing loss and heartbreak at a very young age. She makes a promise to herself and the person she’s lost to keep going, grabbing opportunities whenever they arise. Never realising that all along she’s writing the most exciting story she’ll ever tell.

It’s this resilience and insistence on saying yes to experiences that take her across the globe. Starting in London, she lives and falls in love in the romantic city of Venice, via a terrible experience in New York that spawns her second book. She then explores Saigon and Budapest, before finally ending up in Cornwall. She spends time in a commune, dabbles in the world of spying and has assignments in war zones. Just as in her love life, she’s tough and doesn’t dwell on failures or knock backs, she chalks it up to experience and moves on. There is a danger of some of the men in her life becoming a mere backdrop to Ruby and her escapades, it’s very hard to keep up with her energy. However the later sections in England felt a little more detailed and because they’re not as filled with adventures, the men have more room to develop. Their relationships with Ruby feel deeper and more real. Ruby is always at the centre though and I loved following her character development. We can see which experiences have given her strength and a sense of boundaries. I love a scandal so this was definitely a fun romp in parts, whilst also having a sense of reflection and self-awareness as Ruby becomes an older lady. There’s a bravery in her willingness to share her life, particularly her emotions and those difficult parts of her life – relationships that went wrong, the loss, motherhood and her mental health. However, despite this we’re caught up in Ruby’s humour and ability to heal. I think the author has created a brilliant character and blended actual history with her life very well. Ruby is such an incredibly memorable character and I enjoyed spending time in her company.

Published by Aria 11th April 2024

Meet the Author

M J Robotham had wanted to write from a very young age, inspired by the book ‘Harriet the Spy’. However life got in the way and it was journalism and having a family keeping her occupied. She was a midwife for several years, but started to write seriously after completing an MA in Creative Writing. her first novel was A Woman of War followed by The Secret Messenger set in occupied Venice.

Her next two books were set in pre and post war Berlin, then wartime Norway, both are places she loves to visit. In her spare time she visits the gym, to knit unusual things and enjoys the music of Jack Savoretti,

Posted in Netgalley

Has Anyone Seen Charlotte Salter? by Nicci French.

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Charlotte and Alec Salter have four teenage children and live in the small village in East Anglia. We meet them on Alec’s 50th birthday where a big evening party is planned for most of the village as well as family. Yet at the beginning of the party there are no Salters present. Charlotte went for a walk and hasn’t returned. Alec did same, but they didn’t go together or in the same direction. Fourteen year old Etty is worried. The last of the Salters and yet to leave home she is starting to panic. She loves her mum, but if she is gone, for whatever reason, that means she has to spend two years at least in the company of her father. Just the two of them. Alone.

In the days that follow as the police investigate, there are rumours that Charlotte and family friend Duncan Ackerley were having an affair. Of course it was more widely known that Alec was seeing villager Mary Thorne, in fact his own daughter heard him on the phone to her from the other line the night of the party. When the Ackerleys invite the Salters for Christmas Day, only Lottie turns up at first, her brothers are late and Paul is probably giving it a swerve altogether. Yet Etty thinks it would be worse to sit at home, staring, worrying and jumping at every sound. As dinner time approaches, the Ackerley’s start to wonder where Duncan has got to. He’s been out for a walk, possibly down to the boat as there is a super high tide and he needs to move it. It’s Etty and Giles that start to look for him and he does try to shield her eyes as they come closer and see that Duncan is slumped in the water, dead. We move between the party night and the Christmas days that follow and twenty years later when all the Salters are once again in residence at the family home.

Everything about the house is dated and dilapidated, including their father Alec who is succumbing to dementia. Etty, ever the lawyer, is organising his move into a nursing home and the clearance of their parents possessions. For this job she has found a bright and organised woman called Bridget. She gathers the siblings and tells them that the easiest way is for them to put specific coloured post-its on their must have items, then she takes away the rest for sorting, selling and recycling. It’s emotional, especially since there are now only three of them. Their brother Paul never coped with life and the loss of their mother and sadly committed suicide on the anniversary of her disappearance. Meanwhile, now a TV personality, Morgan Ackerley is home to record a podcast on that Christmas, speculating on what happened to Charlotte and his father. This is going to stir up the village and make life difficult for both families. When a sudden event leads to yet another death, the police are called and a new detective looks at the old files as well as this new case. Are they linked in some way? Despite her boss seeming to warn against digging up what’s been long buried, this detective is determined to find out what happened to Charlotte Salter.

Seeing how much these families have changed over time is so interesting and I found myself wondering how different the Salters and Ackerleys might have been if this crime hadn’t happened. Etty melted my heart a little bit because she’s clearly so close to her mum and on the night of the party she’s the one who’s trying to raise the alarm because she knows something isn’t right. The boys are largely off doing their own thing and seem almost inured to the state of their parent’s marriage. The consensus is they’ve probably had a row, but Etty knows that despite a row, or their dad being on the phone to Mary Thorne at 2am the night before, there is no way that her mum wouldn’t turn up to his birthday party. She has always kept up appearances in that way. She even looks at her father and wonders whether he could have killed her. Her relationship with each parent couldn’t be more different, there’s a distance between Etty and her father both in the past and the present. In fact he doesn’t seem that invested in any of his children. Yet Etty can still imagine the smell of her mum’s perfume and what she would be wearing and I could imagine Charlotte hugging her daughter, her perfume just one of the many scents that signify home. With only the boys and her distant father left who will she go to for hugs? I could feel her panic as realises that after Christmas, the boys will go back to jobs and university and she will be left alone with their father for two years. I could also see the shadow of this huge loss in the adult Etty: an awkwardness about whether the family kiss to greet each other or not; keeping a lawyer’s professional manner at all times; doing all the organising and keeping busy so she can remain detached. She doesn’t cry, even when finding memories of their childhood. She holds herself stiffly, almost brittle and I wondered how much it would take for her to break.

There are many ghosts here. It’s not just Etty who was changed. They all feel the loss of their brother Paul deeply and he’s the empty chair at the table, even now. They tiptoe around each other, trying not to open old wounds but when a fire is started at Bridget’s home a new murder investigation is opened. Either the arsonist didn’t realise Bridget was at home, or didn’t care. Was their aim to kill the house clearer or was it to hide evidence that she’d unwittingly taken into her home alongside the Salter’s belongings? I found this mystery so intriguing that I couldn’t stop reading and I loved the psychological aspects of how these unsolved crimes had affected the families and the village as a whole. There were a couple of crucial points past and present where everyone I suspected seemed to be going for a walk alone – without even having a dog as an excuse! I was suspecting that Lottie’s husband wasn’t as advanced in dementia as she seemed, but couldn’t be sure. The reveals were satisfying, but it was the methods of concealment that really blew me away and I loved how thorough the investigating detective was. She wanted to be sure, whether or not it disturbed or upset some people and I loved that about her. Mainly I thought about how the author successfully showed the long term effects of a crime like this, even years on from the actual incident. These children were all changed forever and the villagers have lived under a fog of suspicion for years. Etty particularly left me thinking of all the events I’ve been able to enjoy with my mum over the last 50 years, that she and Charlotte had missed out on. Finding a balance between the real emotions that surround a crime and creating a page-turning mystery is difficult, but here I think the authors have really pulled it off.

Out 29th Feb in Hardback from Simon and Schuster

Meet the Author

Nicci French is the pseudonym of English husband-and-wife team Nicci Gerrard and Sean French, who write psychological thrillers together

Posted in Netgalley

The Island of Longing by Anne Griffin

Posted on by thelotusreaders

One unremarkable afternoon, Rosie watched her daughter Saoirse cycle into town, expecting to hear the slam of the door when she returned a few hours later.

But the slam never came.

Eight years on, Rosie is the only person who believes that her child might one day return home. Will this belief come at the cost of everything she has left?

My previous work in mental health and my counselling training always lead me towards books that either portray dramatic life events or feature characters that are deep and three dimensional, with a flourishing inner life. Anne Griffin delivers this and more, so I was interested to read her latest novel because it goes into the character’s reactions to a highly dramatic and distressing event. The worst thing that can happen to a parent is to lose their child and this happens to Rosie. Her daughter, Saoirse Dunne, disappeared eight years ago and since then she has been unable to think straight or get on with life. Her heart and spirit are broken, So she heads back home, an island off the coast of Cork. There she’s hoping to find solace and some sort of healing from the natural world around her and the community she knows on the island. She and her husband Hugh have grieved differently over the last eight years, the loss has slowly separated them emotionally and now they continue to need different things. When we see a comparison of their relationship, before and after their daughter’s disappearance, the difference is stark.

Rosie still holds on to the belief that Saoirse might return and she isn’t ready to let go of this. She’s also taking her son Cullie with her and they share so those questions many people ask in grief – ‘what if I’d just…’ and ‘if only I had …’. There’s a sense of survivor’s guilt in these thoughts and I was hoping that they would both find some peace too. Rosie’s decision to return home to where she grew up and even her old work operating the ferry to the mainland, could be seen as a way of cutting out the most painful part of my life and returning to a time when life was more simple. When she’s operating the ferry she feels closer to her daughter than she has in a long while. Of course this gives her solace, but it’s also a barrier to her accepting reality.

I really enjoyed the sense of place created by the author and it’s meaning in the novel. I could visualise Roaring Bay Island completely and the surrounding sea even feels soothing. It’s a refuge, but only for the summer. I worried that after this idyllic interlude in her grief, going back to reality would be a terrible shock. The author acknowledges this, writing that it’s merely a chance to ‘step out of the world for a while’. I loved the freedom she feels while piloting the ferry, with the rocking motion of the waves like a cradle. It was wonderful to witness the kindness and thoughtfulness of the people on the island too. Is this something she isn’t getting in her current home. The place where Saoirse is still missing.

The author keeps Saoirse’s disappearance at the heart of the novel and the family’s experience of loss and pain is devastating but beautifully done. I have experienced loss and this was so raw and real, with incredibly authentic dialogue. I did feel tears coming here and there because Rosie’s feelings were so close to my own. It gives the reader a window into an experience they hope never to share. Please don’t be put off though, there are moments of lightness in the community, they really are an example of humanity at it’s best. There’s also such resilience in the characters, in the face of a loss that is unthinkable. When she returns from the island, she’s moved forward emotionally and Dublin feels like a dark place. It feels like the past. I loved the author’s addition of a sentence from Saoirse, on it’s own page and in a larger font. This lets us get to know Saoirse a little. It also seems to amplify that feeling that she’s gone, yet always there for those who love her. I won’t say this is an easy read. In fact some people may be uncomfortable witnessing the family’s grief. If people do push through that, they’ll gain an understanding of a universal human experience. We all experience loss. For people like me who have had their lives, like Rosie’s, divided into a before and after, this type of emotionally literate writing is a God send. A comfort and a reminder that we’re not alone.

Meet the Author

I’m the international bestselling author of three books: ‘The Island of Longing’, 2023, ‘When All Is Said’, 2019, and ‘Listening Still’, 2021.

I’ve been published all over the world, from the UK to the US and from Taiwan to Lithuania. It has been published in twenty-five territories. In 2019, I was honoured to be awarded Newcomer of the Year at the Irish Book Awards.

To me, writing is all about great storytelling and I hope you find that within the pages of my books, from Maurice Hannigan in ‘When All Is Said’ who sits to the bar of his local hotel to raise five toasts to the five most important people in his life, to Jeanie Masterson in ‘Listening Still’ who is struggling under the weight of obligation to the family funeral directors, and to Rosie Driscoll trying to find her daughter Saoirse who has been missing for eight years.

Thanks so much for all of the great support.

From Anne Griffin’s Amazon Author Page 1/11/23