How to Deal with Negative Thoughts

Why are you writing? No one wants to read this. You have nothing interesting to say. I do, my experiences are unique. No one cares what you have to say. They do, some people have really enjoyed my writing. They’re just telling you that to spare your feelings. No, this is from strangers. They message or comment they like it. They’re probably embarrassed for you, what if someone you know reads it. They might but if they’re friends they’re not going to be horrible about it. What about those who aren’t friends? The social media trolls. They are awful but it wouldn’t be the first time and I can ignore them. Can you though? What if they say something really hurtful? Well then I’ll be hurt but surely being slightly hurt is better than not writing? Even if you’re writing the most cliched rubbish, first writing class sort of rubbish. Well I can try again. You know you hate being criticised. I’m getting better at taking it. Sometimes it’s a positive thing. It scares you though doesn’t it? Yes, but if I don’t write I’ll never know. Know what? If I can write a book, something I’ve always wanted to do and now I’m 52 and I can’t keep putting it off because I’m listening to you. I’m saying what you really think. You can talk yourself into being confident but you and I know you’re not. I am. I’m getting better. Other writers must have thoughts like these and they still write. Even Virginia Woolf had self-doubt. Listen to you. Virginia Woolf? You’re not in the same league. I know that, but what if self-doubt is normal. What if I’ve not had the nerve to write for all this time when every writer feels this way? It hasn’t stopped me writing. I keep writing. I can’t not write, even if it’s about someone else’s work or my journal. It’s just a part of me, like you are, except this is a part I want to keep. Silence. The only failure is if I stop. Quiet. The sound of a keyboard…..