Posted in Blogger Life, Uncategorized

How to Deal with Negative Thoughts

Why are you writing? No one wants to read this. You have nothing interesting to say. I do, my experiences are unique. No one cares what you have to say. They do, some people have really enjoyed my writing. They’re just telling you that to spare your feelings. No, this is from strangers. They message or comment they like it. They’re probably embarrassed for you, what if someone you know reads it. They might but if they’re friends they’re not going to be horrible about it. What about those who aren’t friends? The social media trolls. They are awful but it wouldn’t be the first time and I can ignore them. Can you though? What if they say something really hurtful? Well then I’ll be hurt but surely being slightly hurt is better than not writing? Even if you’re writing the most cliched rubbish, first writing class sort of rubbish. Well I can try again. You know you hate being criticised. I’m getting better at taking it. Sometimes it’s a positive thing. It scares you though doesn’t it? Yes, but if I don’t write I’ll never know. Know what? If I can write a book, something I’ve always wanted to do and now I’m 52 and I can’t keep putting it off because I’m listening to you. I’m saying what you really think. You can talk yourself into being confident but you and I know you’re not. I am. I’m getting better. Other writers must have thoughts like these and they still write. Even Virginia Woolf had self-doubt. Listen to you. Virginia Woolf? You’re not in the same league. I know that, but what if self-doubt is normal. What if I’ve not had the nerve to write for all this time when every writer feels this way? It hasn’t stopped me writing. I keep writing. I can’t not write, even if it’s about someone else’s work or my journal. It’s just a part of me, like you are, except this is a part I want to keep. Silence. The only failure is if I stop. Quiet. The sound of a keyboard…..

Posted in Uncategorized

Little Green

If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

Little Me 1973

I had to think about this recently when reading Florence Knapp’s novel The Names, where a little boy’s life changes depending on what he’s named on the day. It reminded me that my mum did want to call me something else. Something that’s been a great comic story in our family. I was my mum’s first baby, so although she’d told staff she thought I was close to being born they didn’t agree and sent my dad home. It was the 1970s and things were very different. When my mum was proven right only an hour later they couldn’t get him back. My mum and dad lived in a caravan in the yard at the farm where he worked. So there wasn’t even a landline to call. So I was born just after midnight and it was just me and mum. First thing in the morning my Uncle went to the maternity home and was told that only the father could visit at the moment and he told them he was so they let him in. A while later my grandad turned up and did the same thing. By the time my dad managed to get a bus to the hospital my mum must have been the talk of the maternity ward.

My mum’s a huge Joni Mitchell fan and loved the song Little Green. She really wanted to call me that and as a teenager I was fairly scornful of this idea. I could imagine being called all sorts of awful nicknames. My mum was definitely a hippy but my dad was a very practical man, having been the army and farming so he wasn’t sold on this idea. They agreed on Hayley which means ‘from a nearby meadow’ and I never really thought about it again until reading the book. I decided to listen to the song on Spotify and it was just so beautiful. Written for a child she had when she was very young. She felt she was too young to be a mum and gave her up for adoption. The song is so full of the hopes a mother would have for their daughter: 

“Just a little Green

Like thе color when the spring is born

There’ll be crocuses to bring to school tomorrow

Just a little Green

Like the nights when the Northern lights perform

There’ll be icicles and birthday clothes

And sometimes there’ll be sorrow.”

The book made me wonder whether I’d be a different person now had I been Little Green. Would I have been more confident? Perhaps I’d have been more comfortable in my creativity. Might I have written my book by now? How could I have failed with a name imbued with such hope?

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Being Alone

What fears have you overcome and how?

I didn’t realise I had this fear until around twenty years ago. I was 36 and my husband had died from complications with his multiple sclerosis. It had become so severe he couldn’t swallow or breathe properly. I had this realisation that I’d never been alone. From being around 16, I’d always had a boyfriend or partner. It was a fleeting thought I wrote in my journal and then forgot about. We’d had a busy house, what with carers and nurses and family popping in all the time. I struggled with the time that stretched out in front of me, used to a demanding caring role that included clearing lungs, tube feeding and constant turning to avoid pressure sores, there were now no demands taking up my day. I was at a friend’s house and she asked me if I’d stay for tea and I automatically said no, forgetting that I had nothing to come home for. No matter who I was with or where I went, the crushing silence when I reached home was unbearable. It was as if the air in the room was heavy and empty at the same time. His wheelchair, parked in the corner of the garage was unbearable to go past. I was relieved to be able to sleep all night but then started having nightmares. Waking suddenly, covered with sweat thinking I’d forgotten to get up and suction his lungs. Thinking he’d stopped breathing, then remembering that he had. I had dreams where I couldn’t find him and I was wandering in this dystopian nightmare of bombed out houses and twisted metal. I was turning over wreckage thinking I’d find him underneath but he simply wasn’t there. I could still hear him trying to clear his throat. I kept falling asleep in the day, then waking up unable to move but hearing noises that made me think someone was in the house. My brain bringing up intruders just so I felt less alone. A year later I met someone. It was someone I’d known a long time and trusted. I was magical thinking. That the universe had given me this person so I had something to be happy about. I was owed a happy ending, right? I thought it was the least the universe could do. So I made it perfect. I fashioned my own happy ending. Only to be left four years later feeling like I’d been in love with a ghost. The man I imagined myself in love with didn’t exist. Instead this controlling, insecure and abusive monster was living in my house and I couldn’t work out what had happened. Why had he changed? Like all abusers he started off charming, but if I was honest with myself I should have walked away at the six month mark, when the first red flag appeared, but I didn’t because I wanted us to be happy. Now I would have to learn how to be alone again. This time though I leaned into it. I relaxed into the sadness and anger, allowed myself to feel it. Now I know I can survive anything.

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The Joy of Animals

Describe one simple thing you do that brings joy to your life.

I have a moment every morning, especially on these sunny days when I’m sleeping with the windows open, where I hear our cat Dolly greeting the neighbours. In the rescue centre when they let her out to meet us she walked up and down the corridor, peeping in at all the other cats and saying hello. Now she does it with the neighbours. We live in an 18th Century ‘yard’ a short pedestrian lane with just four houses – the old bakers, the cobblers, the workers cottage and the farmhouse. She stalks up and down, with her tail like a question mark, trilling her hellos to everyone she sees. Usually getting a tummy tickle here and there. I know it’s time to get up and those first moments of walking into the kitchen to my cats is the best start to the day. First Maximus, the stoic tuxedo and only boy, who sits proudly on the kitchen table looking as if he’s above such things, but always drops his head to have a forehead bump. Then Minka, our newest and smallest addition who’s barely a year old but had three kittens twice her size. She winds her tail round my legs and all the furniture waiting for kisses and if they don’t come soon enough, she throws herself at your feet with her tummy in the air. Then finally Dolly barrels through the cat flap, not even slowing down, and fills the house with her chatter. She likes to touch noses but also wants to let you know she’s starving and hasn’t been fed for at least a month. We call her the Moomin. Sitting with my tea on a warm morning, they all follow me out eventually after stuffing their faces and lounge in the sun.

Posted in Monthly Wrap Up, Uncategorized

Best Reads March 2026

So it turns out that March is the month of mysteries and thrillers, suspense, plot twists and secrets aplenty! These are my favourites from the month and although I haven’t managed full reviews for some of them, these are my favourites. Wishing you all a Happy Easter weekend, hope you get some good reading and relaxation time with some treats. ❤️📚 🐇

St Monans, Fife, Scotland 1790. Two women are forced to publicly repent in church, one for adultery the other for breaching the sabbath. Wealthy housewife, Florrie, and salt serf, Eliza, form a quick and unusual bond over their mutual humiliation. So when Florrie’s husband decides she must accompany him on a trade venture to Iceland, she insists Eliza comes as her maid.

Far from home, isolated and fearful, the two women grow ever closer. Then Florrie’s husband reveals his sinister plan: he will leave her in Iceland, banished for the shame she has cast upon him. Florrie must escape, but when she turns to Eliza for help she realizes nothing is quite as it seems . . .

Based on the true story of the British Empire trying to annex Iceland as a penal colony, this books tells us about subjugation and control of women by husbands, serf owners, and ministers. Kate Foster always has strong female characters and Florrie, Eliza and Hallgerd are no exception. This was a historical thriller, full of suspense and with a few plot twists too. It’s about what happens when women reject the shame men and society say they should feel and embrace their transgressions, using them as a stepping stone to true freedom. My full review is coming up soon.

Twelve years ago, Carrie married Johan on a beach in Thailand. But as the sun set on their perfect day, armed men swarmed the island and her husband was taken, never to be seen again.

Carrie is now happily remarried; a mother of two. The past is firmly behind her – until she stumbles across Johan by accident online. He is alive and well.

As the memories of their passionate relationship flood back, Carrie is compelled to find out what happened on that beach, and why Johan never got in contact.

The man who promised her a lifetime of love is now a mystery she must solve. But are the answers worth risking her marriage, her family, and the life she fought so hard to rebuild?

The truth, it turns out, is more shocking than any lie . . .

I read this novel on my weekend away and became absolutely absorbed in the story, a love story that’s also a mystery. It’s heartbreaking, romantic but also sinister and unsettling. Our main character, Carrie Cole, has been a brilliant surgeon but gave up when she had very premature twins and felt the need to be at home with them. She lives with her husband Robin in an old cottage with a holiday let in the old piggery next door that they let through the Roof app. It’s there that she sees Johan again for the first time since his arrest in Thailand. Her urge to see him is part emotional but also a desperate need to know what happened and how he ended up back home in Sweden when he should still be in prison. I loved how the author played with our expectations of who to trust and whether Carrie should think with her heart or head. She’s safe, she’s happily married, she’s a mother about to return to work so we know the right choice to make. Right? Full review coming later in the month.

Famed children’s author Dame Eleanor Kingman has summoned her family and friends to her exquisite manor house on the cliffs. They’re celebrating her birthday – and her latest number one bestseller in her series of books based on a mother fox and her cubs.

But the night before the party, Eleanor receives an email: an email that threatens to expose the lie she’s kept up for over half a century.

Someone knows her secret. Is it her estranged literary agent? Is it her ex-husband, to whom she no longer speaks? Is it the nanny she fired all those years ago, who always did have a knack for storytelling? Or is it one of her three daughters, all of whom have a stake in the publishing empire she has built…

With a TV crew arriving to film a documentary of her life, Eleanor needs to find out who sent the email – and preserve her multimillion-pound career.

But when push comes to shove, and it’s time to tell the truth – will anyone actually believe her?

This was a brilliant thriller from Sarah Vaughan, based around a wealthy and respected children’s author and her birthday party. There’s enough tension in the air already with an event so big, but Eleanor’s three daughters each have secrets, her illustrator has turned up early for a confrontation about her percentage, there’s an odd man hanging around the grounds who approached her grandchildren and dog, plus an old couple who have apparently lost their way from their caravan park into the gardens. Told in the tense two days before the celebrations, we also get flashbacks to key moments in Eleanor’s past that might give us the answers. You’ll absolutely devour this book like I did.

When 18-year-old Christian Shaw is found dead in an Edinburgh park, the city reels – and the shock only deepens when police charge her best friends, Eliza Lawson and Isobel Smyth, with her murder.

As their trial begins and headlines scream for justice, rumours of bullying spiral into something darker: whispers of rituals, obsession, and a teenage pact gone wrong.

But then the girls take the stand – revealing a chilling defence no one saw coming – and the jury must question everything: the motives, the evidence, even their own judgement.

Who’s telling the truth? Who can be trusted?
And what really happened to Christian Shaw?

Let the Witch Trial begin . . .

Harriet Tyce’s brain works differently to other people’s! We follow the trial of two teenage girls through the eyes of a juror called Matthew who is a surgeon. He’s everything a good juror should be – reliable, intelligent, rational, objective, pillar of the community – but he seems strangely excited about this trial, having been told several times he could have been excused because of his job. As the trial moves on he seems to deteriorate: he stops wearing a shirt and tie, has a rash that spreads and irritates him, starts to drink and eat junk food. The story of witchcraft and teenage girls is intriguing, but does it constitute murder? Who is the blonde woman that catches Matthew’s eye and seems to follow him to the flat? There are so many layers to this story that your mind will be blown in the final chapters!

Ten years ago, Hope left Somerset with a fatal secret and a broken heart. She has spent a decade in the shadows, living a quiet life of penance to protect the man she once loved – the world-famous author Ambrose Glencourt.

YOUR LIFE IS NOT YOUR OWN.

Then, she opens his latest bestseller. To the world, it’s a brilliant work of fiction. To Hope, it’s a betrayal. Every private moment, every dark truth, and every ‘fatal disaster’ from that summer is laid bare on the page.

YOUR TRUTH IS A LIE.

But Ambrose has changed the ending. In his version of the story, Hope isn’t the victim. She’s the villain.

Now, Hope must step out of the shadows to reclaim her narrative. But in a world of glamorous elites and whispered secrets, who will believe the word of an unreliable woman against the word of a literary icon?

Two narrators. One truth. And a secret worth killing for.

This novel is another triumph for this incredible writer, with so many layers and very timely themes around rich white men and their assumption of their own genius and their right to exploit those around them. Hope is a compelling character whose one summer with Ambrose and his wife Delia sets her life on a different course. To find the events of that summer in a book, prompts her to go to the police and tell her story to detective Nat. Is this the ramblings of a mad, middle aged woman or is something very wrong at Shadowlands, the Glencourt’s mansion. Hall beautifully shows us young love and how a girl who loves books can be manipulated by someone who believes young, naive lower class girls who worship writers are theirs for the taking. I love how Hall weaves in the concept of playing with reality, how we construct stories and who has the right to tell them.

There’s something out there in the darkness.
By morning, bones lie in the snow, picked clean.

Zach knows the moods of the mountains – his mother taught him before she was gone. His father and the other men on the ski weekend think they know better though.

Drinking and boasting, they laugh in the face of the icy conditions.

But Zach understands what danger looks like. Can he survive the wilderness, and all the monsters within it?

This is a stunning new novel from Tracy Sierra, whose debut novel NightWatching was one of my favourite books of 2024. This is just as good as that thrilling debut, if not better. Set in one weekend in the mountains, this is no ordinary trip or boy’s own adventure. Everyone who is coming is there to be impressed by Zach’s dad and his latest business venture. Everything has to go right. Everything is told through Zach’s eyes and we can see him slowly lose his innocence as he notices that his dad doesn’t have half the knowledge about the outdoors that his mother had, everyone else can see that all his gear is new, flash and not what a regular skier or hiker would use. Zach can also see they dislike him. Russ is the only other kid on the trip and he knows that these men are going to lead them into danger, simply because they’re selfish and full of bravado. They must get to do exactly what they want and damn the consequences. Tracy Sierra gets inside this little boy’s mind perfectly and I was desperate for him to survive, but with a strange monster on the prowl outside and the terrible weather it’s hard to know what he can do to escape. Unless the real danger is on the inside. This author shows shades of Stephen King and The Shining in this brilliant story, bristling with menace and childhood fears.

Here are a few of next months reads:

Posted in Throwback Thursday, Uncategorized

Throwback Thursday: The Attic Child by Lola Jaye 

“Until the lions have their own historians, the history of the hunt will always glorify the hunter.”
                                                                            Chinua Achebe (Author)

When I was gathering books for the Queen’s jubilee stall at our village book exchange, I could have stuck to the British Isles and its experience of life in the reign of Elizabeth II. However, I wanted to look at the jubilee from a global viewpoint and include the voices of all the Queen’s subjects. For me that includes voices from countries that were once part of our empire, some of whom are now under the Commonwealth banner. I think these other voices are important; those who are literally silenced, but also those who were ignored because were simply not the white, middle class, man that society is used to listening to. This book had a beautiful example of one such voice and I was reading it around jubilee time. Celestine Babbington is recorded for history in a silent form, photographed wearing clothes he didn’t choose and posing with a man whose relationship to him is very problematic. The man, Richard Babbington, is a wealthy explorer who has a love for Africa and a large mansion house in England and by 1907, Celestine is being kept in the attic of that house, only allowed out to work as a domestic slave.

Years later, a young girl called Lowra is suffering the same fate. Locked in the attic as punishment for any transgression since her fate was left in the hands of her resentful stepmother. After her mother died, Lowra’s dad remarried and from that day on her life was punctuated by spells of abuse. While locked in the attic she finds an unusual necklace with clawed hands, unlike anything she’s seen before. There’s also an old-fashioned porcelain doll and a sentence on the wall, written in an unfamiliar language. These are her only comfort, because she feels as if the person that owned them is still with her in some way. As an adult, her stepmother’s abuse still affects her and she’s conflicted when she inherits Babbington’s house. People seem to think she’s lucky and the town is proud of this intrepid explorer. Looking into the house’s history leads her to an exhibition of Babbington’s life, where she sees photographs of Babbington and a young black boy wearing an African wrap and what looks like her necklace, the one from the attic. However, the thing that keeps Lowra transfixed, is the young boy’s eyes. Lowra sees someone filled with sorrow, a fellow sufferer of the darkness inside that house. His name is Celestine Babbington. Lowra wants to find out more about this boy, how he came to be in England and what happened to him after Babbington’s death. She enlists the help of a history specialist called Monty, who has an interest in stories that have not been told, particularly those of empire. Together they start their search for the attic child.

I think anyone who talks about the glory of our empire should be encouraged to read this book. It’s fitting that the opening quote of the book is from the incredible author Chinua Achebe, because his novel Things Fall Apart is a perfect companion to this tale. This time the story is partially told by an innocent victim of our Victorian forays into Africa, a child called Dikembe, who is largely ignorant of the atrocities being carried out by the Belgian forces plundering the natural resources of his homeland. At the time of Dikembe’s childhood, his homeland was named the Belgian Congo, a large area of Africa now known as Zaire, then the Democratic Republic of Congo. Very few Europeans had reached this area of Africa, known for tropical diseases like sleeping sickness. King Leopold of Belgium had urged the Belgian Government to colonise the country, but when they stalled their efforts he decided to take charge himself. He took ownership of the country and named it the Congo Free State in 1885, using his private army the Force Publique to press gang Congolese men and boys to work for him in the production of rubber. No one knows the exact population of the country at this time, but due to exploitation and the exposure to new diseases it is estimated that up to ten million native people died during Leopold’s rule of the country. Dikembe is young enough to stay at home each day with his mother, but he envies his brothers who go off to work with their father every morning. His parents keep him ignorant of the way native workers were treated so it is an utter shock when his father is killed one day. Richard Babbington, based on a real man called Henry Morton Stanley, expresses an interest in Dikembe. He wants to take him back to England and turn him into a gentleman and his companion. Ridden with grief and terrified about what could happen to her youngest son, his mother agrees, knowing this may be the only way to keep him safe. Although his intentions seem pure, isn’t this just another form of colonisation? He then takes away Dikembe’s name, calling him Celestine Babbington.

I found both these children’s circumstances heartbreaking and realised that Lowra’s affinity with this boy is because she sees something in his photographs echoed in her own eyes. I thought the two character narrative worked really well here, but all of the characters are so well crafted that they pulled me into their stories and didn’t let go till the end. We’re with Lowra and Monty on their quest, finding out more about Dikembe’s story and we experience the effect these revelations have on all the characters. It’s moving to see Monty identifying with Dikembe and feeling emotional pain from the injustices he has gone through. Monty still experiences racism and oppression, just in different ways and Lowra can’t be part of that even though she has empathy for how Monty feels. They worked together well and slowly become close by being honest about their pasts and what effect their life experiences have had on them mentally. Lola Jaye has managed to engage the emotions, but also educate me at the same time, because I didn’t know much about the Belgian empire or King Leopold’s exploitation and murder of the Congolese population. However, it was those complex issues of identity and privilege that really came across to me, especially in the character of Richard Babbington. His arrogant assumption that he could give Dikembe a better life is privilege in action, as Dikembe soon finds out that he’s a womanising drunk and the companionship he spoke of only works one way. All he does bestow is money, for clothes and school, but what Dikembe craves is the warmth and love of his mother calling him a ‘good child’. The way this need for love and comfort was also exploited made me cry. I was desperately hoping that by the end, these terrible injustices didn’t stop him living his life to the full, including embracing happiness when the chance came his way. We see this play out for Lowra during the novel, can she ever accept that she is worthy of love? I wasn’t surprised to learn that Lola Jaye is a therapist, because she understands trauma and how it can manifest through several generations. The story doesn’t pull it’s punches so I felt angry and I felt sad, but somehow the author has managed to make the overall message one of hope. Hope in the resilience of the human spirit.

Lola Jayne’s latest novel is The Manual for Good Wives. It came out in 2025 is on my tbr for March. 

Everything about Adeline Copplefield is a lie . . .

To the world Mrs Copplefield is the epitome of Victorian propriety: an exemplary society lady who writes a weekly column advising young ladies on how to be better wives.

Only Adeline has never been a good wife or mother; she has no claim to the Copplefield name, nor is she an English lady . . .

Now a black woman, born in Africa, who dared to pretend to be something she was not, is on trial in the English courts with all of London society baying for her blood. And she is ready to tell her story . . .

Posted in Favourite Reads of 2025, Uncategorized

My Favourite Reads of 2025

Well it’s been a very interesting year and for my little community of friends and family, quite a tough one in a lot of ways. I’ve had my health struggles, including a cancer scare I could have done without, and our new kitchen turned into a total kitchen renovation. The entire contents of our kitchen were in my study for five months and I’m only just getting things back to normal. For my reading life this has meant periods where I simply couldn’t read because I couldn’t focus. So reviews have been late and I’m still reading a lot of my NetGalley books from the summer. My Goodreads challenge has been missed by a mile. Yet in all of this I’ve read some incredible books and I’ve finally managed to gather a list of the ones I’ve most enjoyed and a list of honourable mentions that I couldn’t ignore. There’s no particular order but each one has been a book of the month and I chose those I couldn’t stop thinking about whether that’s because it was so gripping and or hit my emotions hard.

For years and years, when I’m asked the question which book has hit me hardest emotionally I’ve always had to say One Day by David Nicholls. Now I’ll be able to say that Leaving absolutely tore my heart out. Warren and Sarah dated for a while in their college years and she had ended it. Yet they never stopped thinking about each other. Sarah is divorced and lives alone in her country home with her dog Bella for company. She has a daughter, but she’s married and lives a long way from her mother with her husband and Sarah’s two grandchildren. Sarah works at a gallery, working on an exhibition about the Bloomsbury Group. Warren lives just outside Boston and has his own architectural practice in the city. He’s married to exactly the sort of wife he has needed: attractive, a good hostess and great mum to their daughter Kattie who is an older teenager. However, his wife is also a snob, very aware of who should be in their social circle and how things should be done. They can’t talk about current affairs together, listen to an opera or read the same books. Perhaps their marriage has always been like this, but feels empty since he saw Sarah again. Can he spend the rest of his life in his marriage as he promised or can he be with Sarah? If he leaves what price will he have to pay? And if he doesn’t can he live without that kind of love?

Everything about this novel rings true, from the details that set each scene to the love story that binds everything together. It’s exquisitely written, drawing you in so very slowly, then unravelling quickly to it’s emotionally devastating conclusion. Once an affair starts to turn into something more, so many decisions have to be made and the sacrifices those choices will create become stark and very real. Sarah has imagined living with Warren, but she’s always thought of them at her home. This is where she rebuilt herself after her divorce. It’s a place she loves and doesn’t think she can give up. Arguably, Warren’s choices are even more difficult. He knows if he does this, his relationship and happiness with Sarah will come at the cost of someone else’s feelings. On the scales does one happiness outweigh another? Or are some costs simply too great?

Robin is exactly half way through his life. Like Mark Twain before him, Robin came into the world with Halley’s Comet in 1986 and fully expects to go out again when it returns in 2061. Recently he’s had a huge life change. He’s moved back to his home town of Eastgate to care for his sick father, who due to his disability has had one accident too many. Robin had a well-regimented life in London with girlfriend Gemma. He also had a boring well-paid job as an accountant. Now everything has been thrown up in the air and he’s living in a tiny bedroom surrounded by boxes he hasn’t unpacked. He’s trying to forge a relationship with a father who can’t communicate and who he never connected with as a child. There are childhood ghosts to face and a new connection with Astrid, fellow outsider and professor at a nearby university. She’s brutally straightforward and Robin has never met anyone like her. She’s also hiding something, but he’s hiding even more from her. Can Robin make friends, help his father and accept this is the next chapter of his life, rather than a blip? This was a great book that’s simply joyful to read, even while addressing some really difficult themes. When we find out why Robin is so adamant about his comet theory – while being forced to evaluate his choices by a strident Astrid – it all becomes clear. A heart-breaking tale emerges, as Robin is faced with yet another loss and learns life is just messy, terrifying, random and heart-breaking. This story is infused with beauty, humour and hope because life is beautiful and joyous too, if you let it be. 

London 1883

Rebecca and husband George run Evergreen House as a home for young girls and their illegitimate children, often called a house for ‘fallen women’. Previously, Rebecca’s sister Maddie was the woman of the house and the wife of Dr Everley. Maddie is recovering well after being on trial for the murder of her baby and the revelation that the Everley family had a tradition of hideous experimentation on the bodies of babies to create strange chimeras. Rebecca knows their tenure here is precarious. The Everley family still own the house, but with Dr Everley dead and his sister Grace in a prison asylum no one currently needs it. The small household are very close so all are devastated when the cook and centre of their household, Rose, is murdered and this isn’t the end of the mysterious events at Evergreen. Rebecca fears the past is coming back to haunt them, the murderous and twisted legacy of the Everley family is hard to ignore. What was a sanctuary is becoming dangerous as the evil presence continues its work. With the charity board also tightening their grip on the house, Rebecca must draw out the murderer and discover their purpose. This was a tense and atmospheric read. I could feel the warmth and happiness slowly being sucked from Evergreen House. There were heart-stopping moments, especially towards the end. This is the perfect gothic mystery, especially for fans of historical fiction who like a touch of feminism on the side. This is a must-buy, for the engrossing story and for the gorgeous cover too. 

This was a NetGalley read that sounded fascinating and really did grab me from the off. Dani has been hitting rock bottom. Her eating disorder is out of control and her mental health has meant suspending her place at university where she was studying English Literature. She’s now living in a flat with her sister Jo and her boyfriend Stevie, having to share with his daughter Ellie when she’s there for weekends. She’s working as a pot-washer to pay the bills, but longs to go back to university. Despite having very little money, she decides to see a therapist and has a session with Richard. She feels at home in Richard’s room, it’s quiet and smells of books and furniture polish. She feels like he listens and he seems perceptive, noticing her low self-esteem and anxiety. So she takes the decision to have further therapy with him, although he’s expensive. She starts to feel more positive, greatly reducing her bingeing and purging cycle. Of course as counselling boundaries start to be overturned Dani starts to spiral. There are behaviours and revelations I won’t go into for fear of ruining the suspense and eventual outcome, but I was genuinely scared that Dani couldn’t pull back from the mess she was in. When someone has listened to your innermost thoughts they are a formidable agent for change but an even more powerful opponent. I had everything crossed that I’d underestimated Dani and that she could find those reserves to get through to the other side. This was a fantastic debut novel, full of suspense and stirred the emotions of the reader with finesse. 

Nina and her daughter Ash live in the bougie seaside town of Whitstable in Kent. They are grieving for husband and father Paddy, who was killed when a man having a mental health crisis pushed him into an oncoming train. Ash has been living at home since her own mental health deteriorated and she was eventually diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She’d just come home to recover when Paddy was killed. When her mum receives a parcel in the post Ash is intrigued. It’s beautifully wrapped, with a note inside from a man who has heard about Paddy’s death. He used to work with him in the 1990s and the gift wrapped box contains a Zippo lighter he borrowed but never returned. Since then Paddy has built a restaurant empire, with his flagship restaurant in Whitstable and two others down the coast. Nick’s note explains he is now a troubleshooter, brought into eateries and hotels to assess what’s not working and put it right. There is of course a number, should Nina wish to thank him for his thoughtfulness. Over the next few months Nick and Nina start to WhatsApp each other and then go out for a drink. Ash is glad to see her mum with a glow, but there’s something about Nick that’s just ‘off’. She can’t be sure and maybe she’s viewing this situation through her own grief or her personality disorder, but something isn’t right. She needs to find out more about him before he becomes a permanent fixture. 

I galloped through this book as we went backwards and forwards in time, every time learning a little more and inching towards the truth. I loved the fragile Ash who is at that stage of recovery where she doesn’t fully trust her own mind. Is she making too much of this? Is she just paranoid? Worst of all, if she finds something questionable, will her Mum even believe her? She’s so lonely at this point, she doesn’t have many friends to talk to and feels bad she’s had to bounce back home at her age. Her mum deserves to be happy and she might ruin it all. Just when you think you have all the answers, the author takes it to the next level! This book is like a twisted knot in a necklace. It takes a long time to loosen it, but suddenly the whole thing unravels before your eyes. This is masterful thriller that absolutely begs to be devoured in a couple of sittings, from an author who gets better and better. 

I have to be honest and say this book blew me away. I was so engrossed in Ciara’s story that when I was at 50% of the way through I just decided to sit for an afternoon and finish. No distractions like music or telly, just total silence and when I finished I sat in that silence and I could feel, bodily, every step of her emotional journey. It’s the story of a woman trying to leave a relationship that is tying her down and eating her alive. Everything she was before – bright, intelligent and full of life – has been worn away. Enduring her husband’s treatment, as well as having two children in four years, mean Ciara has had enough. She can see his behaviour as a pattern and despite being absolutely terrified she needs to find the strength to go. Ciara has no real support, her family is Irish but live in London and despite her yearning to see her mum and sister the law states that she can’t take the children out of Ireland without the written permission of their father. Her only option is the housing office, to present as homeless. Will Ciara have the strength to stay away and build a new life for herself? This is not a comfortable read, especially if you’ve been through an ordeal like Ciara’s. What helps is when an author is brave enough to use their own experience or extensive research to get it right for readers who’ve survived abuse. Roisin O’Donnell has written this so carefully and made Ciara’s life so real that I felt seen. I read on, hoping with all my heart that Ciara would make it through and build a new life. Underneath my fear I was storing up hope for her. I hoped she knew how much strength she had. She could leave. After all, I once did.

The story unfolds slowly while the author immerses us in the world Sycorax inhabits, at first with her parents. Taking her cue from Shakespeare her prose is lyrical and poetic. I really felt like I was in the presence of a magical being and it was the sounds that really grabbed me – the tinkle of sea shells on her mother’s anklets, the sounds of the sea, the lazy buzz of the honey bees they keep. I felt as if I was cocooned on a Caribbean island and strangely relaxed too. Sycorax’s ongoing inner strength and determination to find her own identity in a world that shuns her, is something to truly admire. Because of this she is vehemently hated among the townsfolk, especially men because she won’t conform or disappear. There’s a constant sense of give and take between Sycorax and her universe. Strangely the more she’s affected by illness, the more powerful she becomes. The power comes in the shape of wisdom, resilience and acceptance. I was moved when Sycorax was taken to a woman in labour by a friend of her mother’s, teaching her how to help and support. Sycorax kneels by her head, holding it gently and singing a song in a rhythm. She slows down the woman’s breathing and draws her attention to the ebb and flow of the pain and allows her to work with contractions rather than fight them. That’s what I’m going to take away from this beautiful book, to remind myself of the ebb and flow in life and in my own body.Nydia has written a beautiful piece of work that takes us full circle to The Tempest. She’s managed to bring 21st Century injustices to the forefront without losing any of the magical beauty of the original play.

There’s a constant sense of give and take between Sycorax and her universe. Strangely the more she’s affected by illness, the more powerful she becomes. The power comes in the shape of wisdom, because people with chronic illness understand things about life that other people won’t get in a lifetime. It’s also about resilience, something that comes with time and getting to know how your illness affects you. By working with it, Sycorax knows what her body can do and how much activities will take out of her. Everything is a bargain and when she has to take to her bed she counts rest as an activity. I love that Nydia puts her own wisdom into the character, in the need to measure out energy daily and live with constant pain. Everything Sycorax goes through and learns about her illness, we follow and it was moving to hear words that have gone through my own head. I’ve woken up in agony, out of nowhere, trying to work out what tasks are absolutely necessary and which can wait. I was moved when Sycorax was taken to a woman in labour by a friend of her mother’s, teaching her how to help and support. The woman is screaming and thrashing, so Sycorax goes and kneels by her head, holding it gently and singing a song in a rhythm. She slows down the woman’s breathing and draws her attention to the ebb and flow of the pain. It calms the woman and allows her to work with contractions rather than fight them. This is something I do when in pain and something Ive taught clients with chronic pain. Even severe pain is rarely continuous agony. It has a pattern, a shift, an ebb and flow. If you tune into the ebb and flow of pain you can go with it rather than fight it. That’s what I’m going to take away from this beautiful book, to remind myself of the ebb and flow in life and in my own body.

This fantastic novel from Emily Critchley fit the bill for an early 2025 read perfectly and was the only thing that drew me away from watching Black Doves all in one go! Our heroine is Gillian Larking, a rather invisible girl at boarding school who does her best to fit in but has no real friends. Gillian has lost her mother and with her dad working in Egypt she feels very much alone. However, when she gets a new roommate that feeling starts to change. Violet is a bright, lively girl whose first goal is to break school rules and sneak up onto the school roof to check out the view. Despite her mischievous and seemingly confident nature, Violet is anxious and has a series of rituals to perform that help her cope. She is also prone to emotional outbursts when things become overwhelming. Gillian is seemingly more aware that as young ladies of a certain class they must manage their emotions. Girls in packs tend to sniff out weakness or odd behaviour and she worries whether Violet’s rituals, or ‘undoings’ as she calls them, could affect both their positions at school. As Christmas approaches Gillian is delighted to receive an invitation from Violet to spend the holidays with her family at Thornleigh Hall. There she is dazzled by their slightly shabby country home, being waited on by the servants and Violet’s rather beautiful older sisters. Emmeline, the oldest and definitely in charge, wafts around in old Edwardian gowns whereas Laura is a rather more modern and fragile beauty. Both girls accept Gillian as one of their own, but their new friendship is tested by a terrible accident on Boxing Day that will reverberate through the years. This was an enthralling and fascinating look at a tumultuous time in history ( post WW1) and its effects on one aristocratic family, observed through the eyes of a naive visitor. The author has created an incredible atmosphere that drew me in so strongly I felt like I was there. This is an amazing debut from Emily Critchley and I look forward to reading more of her work. 

This thriller grabbed me straight away and never let go! The pace was fast, with short punchy chapters containing the narratives of five men each linked in some way to a woman called Katie. Each man has his own name for this woman and their narratives tell us her story as they see it. John is her father, Gabe is her childhood friend, Conrad is her lover, Tarun is a lawyer and Max is a journalist. Each one thinks they know her, each one presents a different face. But who is she and which is her real identity? Is she a combination of all five or nothing like this at all. It’s a timely, compelling and addictive story that you’ll want to finish in one go. 

The murder committed at March House has killed four very important men at once. Lucian is March House’s owner, presiding over the private members club for the richest and most influential men in the UK and their guests. His guests that night were Harris Lowe, Lucian’s new right hand man, Dominic Ainsworth MP and Russian millionaire Aleksander Popov. They appear to have been murdered with an incredibly expensive bottle of brandy laced with poison. Only one person has been serving the party all evening and that is waitress Katie. She is soon under arrest, but what possible motive could she have had to kill these men? Yet when police apprehend her she is reported as saying ‘they got what they deserved’. Is this an admission of guilt or an acknowledgment that whoever killed them, did the world a favour? Every so often a book comes along that captures a moment and this definitely does. It isn’t the first book I’ve read where online radicalisation is part of the story and how dangerous it can be to become drawn in by conspiracy theorists. It reminded me of how women who are seen as controversial, such as Caroline Flack or the Duchess of Sussex, are presented and packaged by the media. There’s misogyny at the root of this and it’s the same with the male characters in the book who package Katie into roles and personalities that absolve them for the harm they cause and assuages their guilt. This is brilliantly done by the author who doesn’t put a foot wrong in the characterisation and pace of this novel. It’s fast moving and she doesn’t waste a single word, keeping you gripped by what might happen next. We’re never sure on what has happened or who is responsible and the courtroom scenes are brilliant meaning it was impossible to put down – there was one late night where I completely wrote off the following day for anything useful. This is powerful and will make you angry, but you won’t be able to stop those pages turning. 

As autumn deepens into darkness in Lidingö, on the Stockholm archipelago, the island is plunged into chaos: in the space of a week, two teenagers, the son of the island’s mayor and that of a powerful businessman, are brutally murdered. Their bodies are left deep in the forest, dressed in white tunics with crowns of candles atop their heads, like offerings to Saint Lucia. Maïa Rehn has fled Paris for Lidingö, trying to come to terms with the death of their only daughter. But when the murders shake the island community, the former police commissioner is drawn into the heart of the investigation, joining Commissioner Aleksander Storm to unravel a mystery as chilling as the Nordic winter. It becomes clear that a wind of vengeance is blowing through the archipelago, unearthing secrets that are as scandalous as they are inhuman. I loved the timing of this novel from Johanna Gustawsson, her second set on the island of Lidingö in the cold, dark run up to Christmas. Some of the themes were very timely, such as incel culture, grooming and consent. I found it fascinating that Swedish law reform in 2018 placed the emphasis on positive consent, so that rape was no longer defined by saying no, but by actively saying yes. It recognises that freezing and becoming unresponsive are normal survival instincts not consent, so threat and physical force don’t have to be present for an incident to be defined as rape. When we are finally taken to the night that sets these events in motion it is devastating and hard to read, but that’s how it should be. This incident is like a veil of darkness triumphing over light. It’s as if the island loses its innocence. I loved that the answers don’t come easily and the tendrils of the aftermath are everywhere. This is a vivid, symbolic and haunting crime story and the truth is devastating – a gradually revealed horror that has echoed down the generations of this isolated community. 

This was the perfect autumn read – a sinister mystery filled with atmosphere and a slowly building sense of menace. Evelyn Dolman embarks on his honeymoon with his new wife Laura and it proves to be anything but the honeymoon he expected. The couple are greeted by servants at their lodgings, but soon the landlord of Palazzo Dioscuri is there to introduce himself and tell tales of his grand and adventurous family ancestors. Evelyn fought hard for Laura’s hand, knowing she was far above him in terms of class and finances as he is merely a struggling writer, but he’s looking forward to getting away. Despite the rot and instability underneath some of the grand palazzos they saw from the vaporetto Evelyn is still dazzled by the faded beauty, the light and the history of this group of islands that make up the city. So, with Laura settling in early for the night he decides to go for a walk and perhaps a drink somewhere close by and she suggests Florian, a cafe that first opened in 1720 and still serves Venetian visitors today. A chance meeting is followed by a night of drinking and one unforgivable act. So when he wakes in the morning, sluggish and nauseous and finds his wife isn’t next to him in bed, he imagines she has taken herself to another room. However, as the morning progresses it becomes clear that Laura has simply disappeared. 

This is a mystery as labyrinthine as the city itself and despite having only one narrator we are left with so many questions. There are clues to what is transpiring here but they are subtle. The writer has incredible sleight of hand and it reminded me of The Sixth Sense and how many clues are missed on the first watch of the film but once you know they seem so obvious. Each character is slippery and elusive with an unpredictable quality that felt dangerous. I loved the uncanny feeling the author created which grows organically from the city. This is a sparking jewel of a city that’s risen from the mud and brackish waters of the lagoon. One day it may be completely under water, but the decay isn’t what you see when you first visit. Venice bewitches you with its golden domes, coloured glass and the way sparkling light from the surface of the water bathes everything in a soft light. Banville captures this ‘double’ city utterly, describing the timeless romance of a gondolier serenading his passengers but also the jarring sound of the vaporetto. He links this duality with human nature, our surface selves and the real us, even the parts we avoid and keep locked away. Everything about this novel is a conjuring trick and I fell head over heels in love with it. 

I can’t fully express how happy I am to have Jimmy Perez back! Now in the Orkney islands, where he grew up. Sadly, as a storm blows in and the islands shut down, a huge loss is about to hit the community. Jimmy’s childhood friend Archie is found dead at an island landmark. He’s been hit on the head by one of the story stones, taken from the island’s museum. Now Jimmy will have to investigate the murder in the run up to Christmas, along with his boss and partner Willow. Only the reader and perhaps Willow know the depth of feeling that runs underneath Jimmy’s calm exterior. We are privileged in knowing the depth of his grief for his previous partner Fran, the mother of his stepdaughter Cassie. He’s now dad to James with another baby on the way. We can see the love and the anxiety he has about both his children, brought to a head when James becomes lost on Christmas Day. Part of Jimmy hates delving into the private lives of people he’s so close too, but then his knowledge and understanding of this small community is also a strength. He finds out things he didn’t know about his friend: an unexpected relationship with an island newcomer; a secret investment in the hotel and bar; financial difficulties at the farm. The killer made a point with their choice of weapon because they managed to get access to the heritage centre then lugged the stones to the murder site. But what was the point? Did they think Archie was betraying the community or the history of the islands? Is the inscription a clue? To have lured Archie out to such a remote spot in a storm means the site or the weapon must have been important to him. 

Anne Cleeves creates a beautiful atmosphere in this novel, her descriptions of this series of islands are both beautiful and savage, echoing its residents who are inextricably linked to each other and their shared ancestry. The storm really sets the scene of just how remote this community is and how they must pull together to get through difficulties, even where they don’t like each other. I really loved Willow, just as dedicated to her work as Jimmy, her pregnancy doesn’t hold her back at all. The case is fascinating, covering potential adultery, family tensions, environmental disagreements and historical conflicts, as well as academic jealousy. As everyone gathers on Christmas Day for The Ba my nerves were like violin strings! It’s this gradually rising tension alongside the beautifully drawn relationships that make Anne Cleeves’s novels. Jimmy has always had incredible empathy for others, feeling his own loss alongside theirs and understanding behaviour that might at first glance seem inexplicable. This is a hugely welcome return for Jimmy, both in a different landscape and place in life. Hopefully it’s the first of many. 

With the fate of her missing sister, Ísafold, finally uncovered, Áróra feels a fragile relief as the search that consumed her life draws to a close. But when Ísafold’s boyfriend – the prime suspect in her disappearance – is found dead at the same site where Ísafold’s body was discovered, Áróra’s grip on reality starts to unravel … and the mystery remains far from solved. To distract herself, she dives headfirst into a money-laundering case that her friend Daníel is investigating. But she soon finds that there is more than meets the eye and, once again, all leads point towards Engihjalli, the street where Ísafold lived and died, and a series of shocking secrets that could both explain and endanger everything. I’ve been hooked on the story of Áróra and Ísafold for a few years now and the tension has slowly gripped the reader ever tighter with each novel as more revelations come to light. The combination of Áróra’s skills as a financial investigator, plus the skills and powers of detectives Daniel and Helena, complex cases are profiled and attacked from different directions, make them a formidable team. We’ve always had suspicions but have never known who killed Ísafold. We want this mystery resolved, but I didn’t feel any of that racing tension or triumph that I often get when a killer’s revealed. This was just so desperately sad and I had to take a moment for this under confident woman who was so far out of her depth. If I had feelings of loss, I knew it would devastate Áróra. The question is, if she does get all the answers she needs, what will Áróra do next? Unlike her sister, she has a clear sense of what she needs to be happy and fulfilled. She makes decisions based on self-knowledge and it remains to be seen whether Daniel is a part of that eventual happiness. A brilliant and emotional ending to a fantastic series.

It’s delightful to be back in the hands of a consummate storyteller like Val McDermid. I feel like her characters are real people going about their business and we just drop into their world from time to time. Here the Historic Cases Unit are working two cases: the death of a high-end hotel manager and the identity of a body found after a landslip in heavy rain on the M73. Tom Jamieson’s death is flagged up by his brother in New Zealand. Thought to be accidental, new footage shows someone behind Tom as he leaves the hotel and enters the staircase where he met his death. This man must at have seen Tom’s fall, or is his presence even more sinister? The body in the M73 is the body of an investigative journalist, thought to have killed his pregnant girlfriend before going on the run about eleven years ago. I was hooked by evidence that led to a secretive book club of successful men who met once a month in Edinburgh. They’re named the Justified Sinners, but is the Calvinist name a joke between literary friends or something more? Have they stumbled upon an unofficial Freemasons’ club? The team start to wonder about the benefits of becoming one of the twelve and whether those benefits are worth subterfuge or even criminal acts. I think the team are feeling overwhelmed, even without the quagmire surrounding the Justified Sinners and Sam’s quest for the truth. The outcome isn’t straightforward and there were people to blame that I genuinely didn’t expect. This is an enthralling read from a writer at the very top of her game. Someone who knows exactly how to pitch a story and keep the reader engrossed until the final pages. She knows that the joy of a book is in the journey and that sometimes we don’t get the answers we expect. 

This book taught me so much about the French Revolution and the aristocrats who left France for British shores and were welcomed in high society. Edmée has somehow made her way to Britain, despite seemingly being an ordinary citizen. She is now being offered at a ‘wive’s sale’ by her husband’s brother, but this potential chapter can’t be worse than her last. For Duval Harlington it’s something he would never usually countenance, but his circumstances are uniquely desperate. Having been recently released from prison by the French, he is returning to Britain and is met by a family servant who bears bad news. Duval Harlington has become Lord Harlington after the recent death of his father. Although he has the title, his right to the ancestral home of Muchmore and his father’s wealth is rather more complex. Duval’s father installed a distant relative, Mr Carson, to manage the day to day running of the estate. So his will has an interesting stipulation; in order to claim his inheritance Duval must be married and he has only two days to achieve this. So when his servant points out the wife sale it seems like a means to an end. Duval notices a young woman being led around the room by a scarf round her neck, with shorn hair and a veil covering her face. When the buyers call out for it to be removed he’s shocked to see that someone has recently beaten her very badly. On impulse he puts up his hand and bids for her, his intention being to marry her quickly and claim his inheritance, then seek an annulment. However he does find Edmée fascinating and with the Mr and Mrs Carson ready for a fight this might not be as easy as he thinks. I enjoyed the fascinating social history and Duval isn’t your average privileged heir. Edmée would never normally be his wife either. In discussion on the revolution, Sir Wifred points out that its biggest folly was that all people should be equal, meaning men and women. Duval surprises him by stating that in his view “it was one of the most exciting things to have come out of the revolution.” It’s a hard read when it portrays women’s struggles through life and I was hoping for Edmée to have a happy ending. It was clear though that this might not be the case as she disappears after their first ball at the estate, making for a tense read in those final chapters. The book has a mix of hardship, adventure and mystery interlaced with the romantic possibility of an unlikely match being perfect, if only Duval can find her. 

They said I would swing for the crime, and I did . . .

1724. In a tavern just outside Edinburgh, Maggie Dickson’s family drown their sorrows, mourning her death yet relieved she is gone. Shame haunts them. Hanged for the murder of her newborn child, passers-by avert their eyes from her cheap coffin on its rickety cart. But as her family pray her soul rests in peace, a figure appears at the door. It is Maggie. She is alive.

Bruised and dazed, Maggie has little time for her family’s questions. All that matters to her is answering this one: will they hang her twice? Kate Foster is a brilliant advocate for the women she finds in historical documents, often in dire situations for ‘crimes’ it’s hard to comprehend today. Maggie and her younger sister Joan have grown up in a village known for its fishing and the strong, hardworking women that mend the nets and clean the fish ready for market. It’s a hard life and not one that Maggie wants forever. So, when Patrick Spencer walks into their cottage one evening, with his sparkling eyes and easy charm Maggie sees someone like her, who wants to make their own luck. He has come to ask her father if he could store ingredients for perfume? Maggie isn’t the beauty of the family and isn’t even the favourite either, but she knows that if Patrick is looking for a wife to support and help him in business that she’s the best choice. When he takes her out walking one evening she hopes that perhaps he’s seen someone as ambitious and hardworking as he is. Their courtship and marriage are a whirlwind and they’re soon living in a bungalow closer to the centre of the village. Only months later it’s a terrible shock when a press gang visits the inn and takes Patrick into the navy. Maggie has few choices and as the days go by she’s ever more sure that she’s having a baby, if she leaves it must be now. However, it’s not long before she’s standing in front of the justices to answer charges of concealing a pregnancy and infanticide. I am amazed by Kate Foster’s talent, that she finds these cases from Scottish history and breathe life into them. She actually fleshes out these characters and places with what must be endless research and creates women who feel like they could be one of us, with hopes, dreams and incredibly relatable mistakes. I loved the idea of the scar round Maggie’s neck as a mourning necklace. There’s something about seeing inner wounds made visible that resonates strongly with humans. Maggie could see her scar as a mark of shame, to be covered, but she chooses to wear it with pride because it is proof that her little girl lived. This is the best of Kate Foster’s novels so far.

This book drew me in immediately and two days after I finished I still couldn’t start another book. Our setting is 18th Century London and George II is on the throne. On St James’s Street is a confectioner’s shop called the Punchbowl and Pineapple and running it is the newly widowed Hannah Cole. This was her grandfather’s shop, then her father’s but she was his only child. He needed an apprentice to pass on his skills and he employed a young lad called Jonas Cole. Jonas and Hannah grew close, with Hannah losing her father a few days after they married. Until two days ago the couple ran the shop, with Hannah becoming an accomplished businesswoman. Jonas was hard and ruthless though and of recent years they had grown apart. Jonas often spent evenings out, but two nights ago he didn’t return and was found further down the Thames minus his money, his watch, several teeth and his life. Hannah had to borrow to re-open after his death and caused a minor scandal. She can’t afford to be closed and is waiting on their savings being released to pay her suppliers. Then Henry Fielding pays a call in his role as magistrate rather than novelist. He explains that all money will remain frozen while he investigates Jonas’s death. Luckily, at Jonas’s funeral Hannah meets William Devereux. An acquaintance of Jonas, he has never met Hannah before but is very sympathetic to her plight. He promises to visit her shop and discuss how he may help her with Fielding and Jonas’s life outside the home – was he gambling, womanising or getting into shady business dealings? He also mentions a delicacy his Italian grandmother used to make called iced cream. It has all the ingredients of a custard, but flavoured with fruit or chocolate and is then frozen and eaten as a desert. Hannah resolves to let William help her and to master the art of iced cream, but are either of them being fully honest with each other about who they are and what their purpose is? As with all Laura’s books the setting is incredible and it’s the little details that stand out and make us believe in this world. I loved Hannah’s various confections and how she knows what people will choose and what it says about them. I was entranced from the first page to the last, especially as the tensions mounted in the final third when Fielding makes his move. However, just when you think you’ve worked everything out another twist will come along and surprise you. I was rooting for Hannah to come out on top, but was very scared for her in parts. I was honestly hypnotised by this story and Laura’s talent. Bravo on such a fantastic story that I’m still thinking about it months after finishing it. Go beg, steal or borrow a copy of this one, it’s a cracker. 

I love Emma Donoghue’s work, especially her historical novels and this one is a fantastic story based on real events. Many books have passages on public transport but I loved how the writing sped up as we went along and how people are forced to exist together for the time of that journey. There is such a mix of generations, classes and genders that there’s potential for desire, tension and misunderstandings. The fate of one of them, is the fate of all of them. Set in 1895 when a train did crash onto the platform at Montparnasse, Donoghue places us very definitively in the fin de siecle, with every little detail. It isn’t just her description of the train, it’s the character’s clothing and their attitudes. There’s certainly a shift from the Victorian ideals that have held firm throughout the 19th Century. In one journey we can see women being more outspoken, having a definite sense of purpose, and a need to determine their own destiny. I was absolutely fascinated with Mado. She stands out more than she realises, with her androgynous clothing and short hair, not to mention the lunch bucket she’s clutching as if her life depends on it. She’s a feminist, an anarchist and her own internal struggle is so vivid that I could feel the tension in her body as I read. She seems contemptuous of many of her fellow passengers, particularly the men, knowing that the Victorian feminine ideal is simply a role women are forced to play. The author takes us far beyond the beautiful period costumes and shows the reality of train travel – ladies having to relieve themselves in a handy receptacle while the men look away, the inconvenience of a heavy period on a long journey, the strange contents of some traveller’s picnic bags as duck legs and creamed leeks make an appearance! It becomes much more than you expect at the beginning, although Donoghue has never let me down yet. I loved how she ended the novel, I don’t read the blurb or reviews of a novel I’m about to read and come to it completely fresh, so I didn’t expect it and appreciated it all the more. Donoghue’s ability to see the unexpected, the downtrodden, the extraordinary and the silenced voices in a story and it’s place in time, is at it’s peak here. These anonymous and ordinary train carriages are made fascinating and unique by the character’s inside it. Through them she drives the story along faster and faster, until you simply have to go with it and read through to the end. 

This book has featured in many end of year lists and it’s not surprising. I bought this book on holiday and as I looked through the purchases in the pub I read the first few lines, then read the whole chapter and I told my other half it was something special. In 1987 Cora is going to register the birth of her baby boy. His name has been settled on for some time. Cora’s husband Gordon has chosen his own name for his son, but it wouldn’t be Cora’s choice. Her choice would be something that doesn’t tie him so obviously to his father. She thinks Julian would suit him. Little sister Maia looks in the pram at her brother and decides he looks like a he should be called Bear. All of these options swirl around in Cora’s head. In this moment, Cora has the power to make a choice and it’s done. It can’t be changed. What would happen if she went with Julian or even Bear? In the short term Gordon would be furious. How bad would it be this time? Long term, would it change her baby’s character or path in life? That’s exactly what Florence Knapp does. The book splits into three narratives and we discover what happens to this whole family, depending on Cora’s baby boy’s name. Each of three arcs has its share of joy and heartache as Cora’s children cope with the aftermath of that day in 1987. Each narrative has its moments of emotion where you have to look up from the book and breathe for a moment. Just to take it in. However, one narrative broke me. I was reading quietly in the same room as my husband and I actually responded out loud. He had to give me a cuddle because I did have tears coming and I’m astonished by the writer’s ability to absorb the reader to that degree. To make words into a flesh and blood person I can shed tears over. This is an absolutely incredible debut with a brilliant grasp of domestic abuse and how it affects every member of a family, their friends and even neighbours. She depicts how the children and grandchildren in this chain have to consciously break the chain. As a daughter and a wife of two men who’ve survived violence in the home I know the struggle to change things and I felt the truth of Knapp’s depiction. I had no doubt it would be on this list in December. 

I love Rachel Joyce’s work and her ability to show complexity in domestic relationships. Here we see the complex relationships within a family who have a famous father. Vic Kemp is a painter and the family in question are Vic and his four children – Netta, Susan, Iris and Goose (short for Gustav and the only boy). They’ve been parented by Vic and a series of au pairs after the sudden death of their mother just after Iris was born. Their father’s art came first always and the conditions he needed in order to create were paramount so the oldest girls often played the mother role for Iris and Goose, especially when Vic inevitably slept with the au pairs. Vic was not an artist celebrated by the establishment. The description of his paintings brought Jack Vettriano to mind, criticised heavily by the art world, but very popular with the public. Many of the paintings had a sexual element to them, a sort of soft BDSM theme, except for his only painting of one of his children, Iris. Depicted on the beach with a sandcastle and a man in the background, it brings up mixed memories for Iris. Now grown up, his children are stunned when Vic starts losing weight and drinking green, sludgy health drinks. His diet is being looked after by his new girlfriend, 27 year old Bella-Mae, who none of his children have met. Within weeks they’re engaged and Netta suggests that they stand back and give it the space it needs to fizzle out, but a couple of weeks later Vic announces their marriage with a single photograph from the family home in Orta on Isola Son Guilio. Only two days later Netta is stunned by a phone call from a stranger claiming to be Bella’s cousin. Vic has drowned after a morning swim in the mist. Why would Vic go swimming in the mist? His children come together to travel to Orta, to finally meet their new stepmother and to find out whether she has killed their father. 

I enjoyed the different personalities of the Kemp siblings and how Bella becomes a mirror through which each of them evaluate their lives. It’s psychologically fascinating and I was absolutely transfixed! I couldn’t work out whether deliberate manipulation was at play or if grief and the new outsiders were changing opinions. Is Bella a destructive force or a helpful one? Some revelations will be explosive and take place in the open air- one particular meal is cataclysmic. Other revelations are quieter, insidious or internal but no less devastating. This is therapy, but without the care and ethics. No one will come out of this trip unaffected. The author made me think about how we view artists and our expectations of them – whether they are potters, painters or writers. We read about their messy and eccentric lives with fascination, but we don’t always consider the damage they do to those closest to them. This was such a beautifully complex study of a family’s dynamics, the way we mythologise people within our family and the stories we choose to represent us. This is a very different novel for the author but it’s definitely built on her ability to present very deep emotions and the truth of human experience.

Probably every English Graduate who specialised in Gothic Fiction has fantasised about that stormy night, in a house on the edge of a lake near Geneva. That night was supposedly the genesis of the first vampire story – Polidori’s The Vampyre – and Mary Shelley’s classic horror, Frankenstein. It always seemed strange to me, how two iconic horror legends were conjured up in the same place on the same night. Yet, everything those writers experienced in their young lives is fuel for their creativity and the setting is definitely strange and unsettling. Caroline Lea paints a picture of the lake becoming monstrous. Something magical but evil too with a sky that is dark, trees like ‘funeral lace’ and ash raining down. Local people have noticed that at times the lake throws up strange shadows and clouds, some that look like sky cities floating in the air. When they find a man called Karl Vogel drowned in the lake with his eyes turned from brown to blue marble – they are shocked, but this is a place of transformation. It’s as if nature is creating the perfect circumstances for monsters to be born. 

This incredible book. is a brilliant combination of historical and horror fiction, with a large side order of feminism – all of my favourite things. Every time I read this book I couldn’t help but say ‘wow’. Firstly the historical settings were incredible. The author really captures 18th Century London with Mary’s filthy lodgings a bleak place to look after a baby – the reality of life as the mistress of a poet who does not pay his debts and has retreated back to his family home. The Geneva setting is glorious and it’s clear why frozen mountains, cavernous lakes and the arctic feature heavily in Frankenstein. It’s where Mary goes to have time to think, away from the chaos and hedonism indoors. In Mary’s dark night of the soul she hears her mother, Mary Wollstonecraft’s voice, encouraging and coaching her until Mary’s able to breathe again and see a clear way to support herself – by selling her writing. Will she be able to cope with Shelley’s inconstancy and learn to be independent? I loved that the story of Frankenstein’s monster is stitched together by fragments, just like the monster himself. Mary thinks of medical experiments and stories of medical students digging up bodies for dissection. Then she has to give the creature an internal monologue, that’s ripe with emotions she has felt. Mary’s book, like the creature at its centre, will be sent out into the wilderness looking for people to love it and it will find one because she knows it’s special. Caroline’s book is an absolute masterpiece and made me think about Frankenstein from so many different angles. It brings to life her relationship with Shelley, often told in a rather salacious or romantic way without any thought to the inequality between them. What Caroline has written is a Bildungsroman, a novel of Mary growing up from girl to womanhood. Frankenstein is the chronicle of that birth, as messy, terrifying, horrific and momentous it is, its birth being the genesis of Mary Shelley the writer. .                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

I loved this book about four women brought together creating an all- female mini circus. Lena is the show woman of the title and as well as managing all their finances and planning, she is the ring mistress. Violet escapes another circus to become their trapeze artist. Rosie is their bareback rider, while Carmen can be a musician, acrobat and dancer whose costume is a swirling rainbow of ribbons. Set in 1910, we meet the Grand Dame of the show circuit in Scotland – Serena Linden. Serena is the show woman behind Linden’s Circus renowned throughout Scotland and the only circus to perform at Balmoral for Queen Victoria and the royal family. Serena is the old guard who has inherited her circus from her father. She is old, arthritic, bitter and quite capable of settling scores with trickery and violence. She particularly likes to thwart those who flee her employ and move to other shows or even worse,start their own. Lena’s father has died and leaves just their caravan and his carousel. She’s advised to sell it if she wants to have a life, because her best options are to find a husband or a factory job. That’s until Violet arrives with a proposition. Violet is known for her flame red hair and by fairground people as the greatest trapeze artist that’s ever lived. What if they started their own show? They’re both outcasts and have nothing to lose, so they start to look for performers and find two more women: Rosie who has practiced bareback riding with her pony Tommy for years and Carmen, a beautiful Spanish girl with luscious black hair, performs acrobatics in her rainbow ribbons. With Lena as ringmaster she becomes the head of this family, determined to keep them together. Can they become a community that fully supports each other, who listen and understand the circumstances and pain that has brought them here. I was rooting for all of these women and not just the show, but their new found independence and friendships. It was in those evenings where they were talking in the caravan after a show, too full of adrenaline to sleep. Or the warm and sunny days when they got chance to swim in a local lake or river, to wash their hair. It’s these moments that are just as magical for these women as the seconds before Violet lets go and flies through the air. 

As Vianne scatters her mother’s ashes in New York, she knows the wind has changed and it’s time to move on. She will return to France, solo except for her ‘little stranger’ who is still no bigger than a cocoa. Drawn to the sea she blows into Marseille and a tiny bistrot where owner Louis is stuck, struggling with grief for decades after losing his wife Margot. She charms herself into a waitressing job for bed and board and starts to cook for his regulars using Margot’s recipe book. Louis has one stipulation, she mustn’t change the recipes at all. She revives the herb garden and starts to make friends, including Guy who is working towards opening a chocolate shop. This is going to be the place to have her baby, but then she must move on. She can see her child at six years old, paddling by some riverboats tethered nearby, but she can also see the man her mother feared. The man in black. Vianne has inherited a peculiar kind of magic that urges her to fix the lives of those around her and give them what their heart truly desires. This is fine when it’s discerning their favourite chocolate, but can cause problems when it becomes meddling. Her mother always warned her that she shouldn’t settle too long in one place.

What a joy it was to be back in Vianne’s world. It’s being back with an old friend and in a couple of sentences we’d picked up where we left off. This is a younger Vianne, aware of her burgeoning abilities, but inexperienced in the power she holds and it’s effects on others. Part of that ability is a natural charm and willingness to work hard. She takes time to win people over. She’s happy to take on a challenge whether it’s the recipe book, the garden or the chocolate shop. She merely softens the edges of all this with a ‘pretty’ here and there or tuning into someone’s colours. The details and images they conjure up are always the best part of this series for me, because they take me on a visual journey. The author weaves her magic in the detailed recipes of Margot’s book, the incredible chocolates that she and Guy create and the decorative details of their display window with it’s origami animals and chocolate babies. The most beautiful part is how Vianne brings people together. Yes, it’s partly magic but it’s also her kindness and lack of judgement. It’s when we see what Vianne can accomplish that we see her at her best – thinking forward to her Easter display window in her own shop or the meals cooked for friends under starlit skies. Vianne is a glowing lantern or a warm fire, she draws people to her light and to bask in her warmth. This is also why readers who love the Chocolat series return again and again. We simply want to be with Vianne and that’s definitely a form of literary magic. 

I pre-ordered this book as soon as I read the blurb because there was so much about this story of four pioneering women who attend Oxford University and are the first cohort to gain an actual degree. The four women arrive at Oxford in a time of great upheaval. The First World War has ended and women have just been awarded the vote. Beatrice comes from a progressive family, with a suffragette mother who attended Oxford herself despite being unable to graduate like the men. Beatrice is very political, obviously a feminist and is used to being noticed, as she’s usually the tallest woman in a room. Marianne is a scholarship student, but she seems to have secrets -she returns home every other weekend and struggles financially. Ottoline (Otto) comes from a wealthy family, but is haunted by her war experiences as a nurse. Dora also struggles with the consequences of war, after a letter from her fiancé Charles’s regiment to inform her he’d been killed, then only two weeks later her brother George also lost his life. These four girls are assigned to a corridor where the rooms start with the number eight, giving them their affectionate nickname. This seemingly random allocation starts strong friendships as the girls help each other negotiate their university work, their memories of the war and being taken seriously by their male counterparts. I loved every moment I spent with these young women. They are all equally interesting and important so I couldn’t pick one I gelled with most. This is a favourite time period for me so I loved the clothing, the outings, the rising tide of women wanting more from life than a ring and motherhood. These women are the birth of who we are now and I think the author was really successful in portraying issues that are still relevant. As we see women’s rights being eroded and the misogyny on social media, this is also about how men treat women. Whether it’s the control wielded by a father figure or professor, the deception and double-standards men use to manipulate women, the sexual predator or abuser, taking a chance moment or a position of power to commit violence. I believe that just the chance to pursue their education with the freedom men take for granted, is a huge step for the women in terms of status but also self-confidence. However, it is the friendship of these four women, first and foremost, that helps them grow. Their unflinching support and understanding of each other is beautifully drawn and brings to mind something I’ve always said to women on my ‘authentic self’ workshops; men may come and go, but it’s the women in your life who will hold you up’. 

Our story starts in Jamaica 1768 on a sugar plantation where a slave rebellion has been brewing. The signal will be sent to all the slaves by drum and Daniel has heard their rhythm. He needs to get to the house where his sweetheart Adanna works for the mistress, the house slaves aren’t in on the secret and the field slaves might harm the house slaves, perceiving their lives to be easier and their loyalties divided. When Daniel realises the house is already ablaze he leaves with his little sister Pearl, hoping to find a way to get off the island. His story then jumps a decade to the aftermath of the War of Independence where black servants who fought for the British were promised a new life in England. Daniel was one such soldier fighting with the British under Major Edward Fitzallen, whose life he saved. Daniel and Pearl were taken under their wing, affording them a level of education and independence unusual for Jamaican slaves. When Edward is wounded he wants to ensure that Daniel and Pearl have a future in England and calls witnesses to his signature on a new will and testament. It hands all his worldly goods over to Daniel, telling him to call on his brother James to inform him of Edward’s demise and Daniel’s new position as his heir. Daniel naively expects the Fitzallen brothers to be equally honourable and he underestimates James who drugs Daniel then throws the new will and all proof of Daniel’s claim and rank into the fire. Now Pearl and Daniel are abandoned in London with nothing.. They end up amongst the people of The Rookery an underground community with a brutal leader. The novels of Jane Austen were written only a few years after this book was set, because in them we never hear of people like this. It’s easy to forget that not everyone lives in the countryside and working class women are out there working, not waiting at home with an embroidery hoop on their lap hoping for a gentleman caller. Comparing this world with Austen’s shows how urban, dynamic and exciting London is but very dangerous too. I came away with everything crossed for Daniel and Pearl. I was so immersed that it felt strange to look up and find myself back in my own living room. This is a fantastic historical novel; vivid and dark, but ultimately hopeful

I was entranced by this beautifully lyrical tale of the unseen sorcerous of Shakespeare’s The Tempest. This is my favourite Shakespeare play because I love its atmosphere and the use of music to conjure up this enchanted island, ruled by the magician Prospero. Sycorax isn’t even present in the play, but is mentioned as a sorcerous and mother of Caliban who is depicted as a monster and a slave to Prospero. The author wants to give Sycorax a voice, one that she doesn’t have in the play, to tell us in her own words what it was like to be treated with suspicion and cruelty. Sycorax’s story is an emotional one as she wrestles with her identity, her powers and the loneliness of being an outcast. However, nothing makes men more fearful than a woman with knowledge and if she won’t behave or remain hidden might they attempt to silence her? In spite of everything she faces, Sycorax remains strong, a strength that could be attributed to her upbringing with her tenacious and otherworldly mother. Sycorax’s ongoing inner strength and determination to find her own identity in a world that shuns her, is something to truly admire. Because of this she is vehemently hated among the townsfolk, especially men because she won’t disappear. I admired Sycorax’s strength, just her ability to keep getting up each day and going on. Everything they try to be rid of her just doesn’t work. Described as born of the sun and moon and shaped by fire and malady gives us a sense of her resolve, she’s hard as forged iron. Nydia has written a beautiful piece of work that takes us full circle to The Tempest. She’s managed to bring 21st Century injustices to the forefront without losing any of the magical beauty of the original play.

So that’s my favourites list for 2025. Wishing you a Happy New Year and Happy Reading in 2026. ❤️📚

Posted in Uncategorized

Every Trick In The Book by Iain Hood.

There’s only control, control of ourselves and others. And you have to decide what part you play in that control.

Cast your eye over the comfortable north London home of a family of high ideals, radical politics and compassionate feelings. Julia, Paul and their two daughters, Olivia and Sophie, look to a better society, one they can effect through ORGAN:EYES, the campaigning group they fundraise for and march with, supporting various good causes.

But is it all too good to be true? When the surface has been scratched and Paul’s identity comes under the scrutiny of the press, a journey into the heart of the family begins. Who are these characters really? Are any of them the ‘real’ them at all? Every Trick in the Book is a genre-deconstructing novel that explodes the police procedural and undercover-cop story with nouveau romanish glee. Hood overturns the stone of our surveillance society to show what really lies beneath.

I’m so glad that Renard Press gave me the chance to read this book, because otherwise I might not have come across this author and a truly great read that kept me thinking throughout. Our opening chapter takes us on a tour of a family home, the narration giving us the impression that all isn’t as it might first appear. Even as we’re being told about their decorative bowl made from a melted vinyl record and the model art we are invited to question it. Does the socio-economic group the family belong to fit with the professions and workplaces shown on their lanyards? Both have charity sector jobs that might hint at left wing political views, but the author is inviting us to look deeper to think that maybe, in this surveillance age we are being fed an impression of something. Think about how we edit our own lives to fit social media and wonder whether we’re being fed what we want to see.

This is such a clever book, one that tricks us with what we expect to see. Meanwhile underneath there is something far more sinister going on, or is there even another layer beneath that? This is a real genre-bending novel that manages to be a family drama, a spy thriller, meta- fiction etc. I loved the author’s slightly off kilter narration:

‘On a Tuesday this man, the father, has nothing to do in the afternoon and wanders away from the café where he was having lunch, not far from Upper St. and up a cul de sac and into a pub. It’s his usual routine when he isn’t meeting her, the mother, his wife, to walk home’.

The form of address reminded me of writing the method for a science experiment at school. It invites us to observe the characters, rather like people being experimented upon. We’re observing them – almost as if we’re testing them or following them. Is this father behaving like this sort of father should? On the face of it Paul is a mild mannered father of two teenagers with a slightly tragic love of Captain Beefheart. Then we’re told he’s tested on his Beefheart knowledge by his superiors. He’s playing a role and just like the descriptions of his home, it reads like stage instructions or a screenplay. The narrator is checking off his list of props, making sure they’re in position for when ‘this family’ walk back in. Absolutely nothing is as it seems.

Even as this ‘normal’ family live their normal life, they have conversations that have dual meaning. As the father has a conversation with one of his daughters, I felt like I was listening in to a coded message! There’s clearly intelligence here in this family, but interwoven with high ideals, morality politics and compassion for the human condition. You can’t sleepwalk your way through this book, I was thinking, constantly, wondering what would be revealed about these family members and what they’re really up to. Then the journalist appears, young, ambitious and sure she’s stumbled upon a story here; perhaps she holds the truth about this family’s real identities, and then chaos ensues.

The author keeps that atmosphere of mystery throughout, about what is being hidden. As Paul walks along in one section the narration of his journey includes every CCTV camera on his route. Then redacted parts of the narration start to blank out certain cameras and places. I’d originally thought Paul was noting the cameras on his journey, aware of being watched. Then reaching the redacted parts made me realise someone is watching him, observing his route and then redacting the parts they don’t want to be seen. I desperately wanted to know why? The level of tension keeps the reader hooked until the book is over and one tiny footnote can make you rethink everything you read before. It’s a comment on the sheer amount of surveillance, a theme throughout.

I loved the way the author looks at the construction of self, do we have a fixed identity that remains unchanged at it’s core? Alternatively, our sense of self could be seen as constantly changing and updating itself. He also explores how others perceive us and how different it is from how we see ourselves. Someone might encounter us on a bad day and perceive us as a rude or grumpy person, whereas friends wouldn’t recognise this description. I loved Paul’s discussion with his boss about how our version of ourselves is only one of many versions. He describes an encounter with two housemates when they were working building sites around the time of the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert. He asked if anyone had played ‘Another One Bites The Dust’ and they immediately round on him thinking he’s making a homophobic joke. In reality he just loved tracks where John Deacon’s bass playing is the star, like on Under Pressure. No matter what he did those men will always think he’s the sort of person who makes derogatory comments about ‘gays and Freddie and dead young men’. These ideas are all the more pertinent when you think that Paul may well be playing a part. When you do that for years, at what point does your real character bleed into your cover identity? How do you ever leave that role behind?

This book was smart, funny and so perfect for the world we now live in where everything we do is documented – mostly by ourselves on social media, making it even easier for those agencies that watch. I found myself smiling and laughing in parts, because this book looks at the world through a cynical and satirical lens. The author is holding a mirror up to our society whether they’re trying to make sense of it or lambast it. I want to re-read it as well, with the knowledge I’d gathered along the way. It’s rare to find a book that entertains, informs and grips you from the first page, but in addition it also made me slightly paranoid! I’ve always been sceptical, but I’m not sure I’ll ever trust our institutions again.

Meet The Author

Iain Hood was born in Glasgow and grew up in the seaside town of Ayr. He attended the University of Glasgow and Jordanhill College, and later worked in education in Glasgow and the west country. He attended the University of Manchester after moving to Cambridge, where he continues to live with his wife and daughter. His first novel, This Good Book, was published in 2021.

Posted in Throwback Thursday, Uncategorized

Throwback Thursday! Stuart: A Life Backwards by Alexander Masters.

Hardback with Masters’s original drawings.

I enjoy reading memoirs, especially when they’re innovative and try to show life in a different way. This fantastic biography does both. It’s unique in it’s subject – a homeless man the author meets while volunteering at a charity. It’s also unique because it’s told backwards- a device that has a massive emotional impact. Despite it’s subject, this isn’t a misery memoir. I’m not a fan of them myself, although I accept their therapeutic value, both as catharsis for the writer and as a powerful shared experience for the reader who’s survived similar experiences. I always feel prurient reading such personal and traumatic testimony. Although Stuart’s life is undeniably traumatic I never get that uncomfortable feeling when reading.

Stuart Shorter is a homeless, ex- junkie and possible psychopath. Alexander Masters first met Stuart out begging, then continues to spend time with him after securing a role as a fundraiser for Wintercomfort. His job is to make funding applications to different benefactors to keep the charity providing a day centre for homeless people in Cambridge. Set up in 1989 the charity worked with some of the worst cases living rough, giving them somewhere with supportive staff to spend time in. The founder was hoping to help individuals and reduce anti social behaviour in the city. However, when the main staff members, Ruth and John, were arrested for allowing drugs to change hands on the premises, Masters found himself at the centre of a protest movement. He also had to be more ‘hands on’ with the centre’s many users. This was when he met and formed a tentative friendship with Stuart Shorter. They were paired up to give talks around the country about the values of the charity and the campaign to free Ruth and John. They were the only people who had the time and Masters becomes intrigued with Stuart, who more often than not received a standing ovation after speaking – even if he did let out a stray ‘fuck’ from time to time. Stuart is intrigued to spend time with middle class people. ‘I thought middle class people had something wrong with them’, he says ‘but they’re just ordinary.’

This I think is the key to Master’s tale. Stuart, and some of the situations he finds himself in are genuinely funny. I also felt as if Stuart was looking at me as much as I was looking at him. The jarring contrast of Stuart’s everyday life to that of Masters, or to the reader really does hit hard. He’s a person whose life would be described as chaotic by social services or a mental health team. One or the other have been a constant in Stuart’s life, an amorphous mass of middle class do-gooders he calls ‘The System’. He’s had one service or another observing or judging his life since he was twelve years old. Like most homeless people he despises the system, because agencies that are supposed to support and help those who are struggling, are actually duplicitous. Using their observations to record and relay information to other agencies in a carrot and stick approach. Most people would assume the system is there to help, but it patronises, damages and blames too. There are welfare benefits and back to work schemes, but if the person doesn’t cooperate in come the police and prison. We learn that Stuart has been bounced round the care system, has been placed in a group home run by paedophiles, then placed into a brutal juvenile detention centre when he strays from their control. It’s easy to see why homeless people even become suspicious of things that are supposed to help, because once one part of the system comes in, everything else follows. He knows he was placed with paedophiles unwittingly, but as he points out, that doesn’t really matter when you’re 14 years old with a ‘grown man’s dick in your throat.’

It’s a brutal read in parts, but it has to be. I didn’t realise how dysfunctional the lives of my clients were, until I tried to describe to someone what my job entailed while at a ball. I was starting my career as a mental health support worker and my everyday was working with people like Stuart. I would help them with day to day tasks like shopping and budgeting, cleaning the house, and even just getting out of bed if they were struggling. People at my table couldn’t believe there was a job that entailed these things. It’s when I realised that there was a class of people more successful than me, who never learned about these incredible people and their difficult lives and I was proud to be someone who did know. The book is honest about what it was like to be a friend and supporter of Stuart. Sometimes it was frustrating, moving, devastating and other times it felt incredible. Yet we really hear Stuart’s voice too. Really the book is written by both of them. Masters never takes over or forgets that this is a collaborative effort. It’s not sugar-coated and at the beginning it’s Stuart who first reads Master’s manuscript and says he could do better. He needs to make it more readable, Stuart says, because people should want to read it, like a Tom Clancy novel.

‘Do it the other way round’ he tells Masters, ‘make it more like a murder mystery. What murdered the boy I was? See? Write it backwards’.

The BBC film starring Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hardy
Posted in Books of the Year 2021, Uncategorized

My Top 21 of 2021! Part One.

It’s been a fantastic reading year, my second full year as a blogger and lots of milestones met. This year I’ve cracked my goals of 3000 followers, 200 subscribers to The Lotus Readers blog and I’ve smashed my Goodreads reading goal of 120 books. Aside from these rather trivial goals, I’ve read some fabulous books this year. Although being a blogger means I’m all too aware of the ones I’ve missed or not had time for yet. Even more important than this are the wonderful friends I continue to make on BookTwitter and Bookstagram. Becoming part of the #SquadPod, a collective of book bloggers, has been a wonderful experience. Since I’m an ‘at risk’ person thanks to my multiple sclerosis and breathing issues, I’m home a lot but even when I don’t see anyone that day, I still have some wonderful, kind and supportive friends to listen to. I love them all. So this is the start of my favourite reads list for 2021. I had to go with 21 because I would have struggled to reduce them any further. If I did star ratings, all of them would be five stars so it’s not a countdown. It’s just a chance to reminisce and a recommend ahead of the January sales.

Circus of Wonders by Elizabeth MacNeal.

I had read Elizabeth’s MacNeal’s first novel The Doll Factory, so I knew I would love this one. The story of a young girl with birthmarks on her face and body, catches the eye of a passing showman. Jasper Jupiter has seen her dancing round the camp fire with her brother. She has the sort of wild abandon that’s rare in one so shy and reserved. He can see her now, in his circus, perhaps even performing before the Queen if she could be tempted away from mourning Prince Albert. The book flits between the circus and back to Jasper and his brother Toby’s time in the Crimea. We follow Nell as she leaves her village behind to become Queen of the Moon and Stars. However, could Jasper’s eagerness to expand and show in London be their undoing? There are some very interesting disability issues here, including a look at the ethical concerns around freak shows. The beautifully vivid descriptions of the acts and their costumes are wonderful too.

The Great Silence by Doug Johnstone.

It’s no secret how much I love Doug Johnstone’s Skelf series, since I outed myself as a #Skelfaholic on Twitter. I was lucky enough to be sent an early copy of this book, the third and potentially last one in the series. I had to dive on it immediately and find out what came next. As usual the book began with a strange event. Dorothy takes her dog Einstein for a walk in the park and he fetches a human foot, even more strange is that it appears to be embalmed. This embroils Dorothy in a very unusual case that could be deadly. Jenny is dealing with the aftermath of her ex-husband’s actions in the last book, she’s still healing emotionally and potentially regretting the end of her relationship with painter, Liam. She misses him, and wonders if perhaps they could rekindle something. Then the other daughter of her ex-husband disappears. Jenny wonders if her life will ever be free of this man, as she joins forces with the other woman in Craig’s life to find her daughter. Finally, Hannah is facing massive changes in her academic and personal life. In a sense she’s being pulled between past and future. Her graduation becomes a double celebration when Indy proposes, but then she’s pulled into the past when their flat is broken into and someone makes it clear they still want to be part of her life. Her academic supervisor José asks her if she’ll look into one of the central questions of astrophysics, if there is extraterrestrial life, why haven’t they replied to our messages? He has had a reply, but doesn’t know where it’s come from. Is it really from another life form or is someone playing game with him? Doug Johnstone is a poet, philosopher and incredible observer of human nature and I can only hope for another instalment of this much loved series.

The Last House on Needless Street by Catriona Ward.

This was one of the first books I read in 2021 and for a while I didn’t know what on earth was going on for a while, I was drawn into this very strange mystery. I finished it in a sort of shell-shocked silence. I felt like I needed to go straight back to the beginning and start again. It is extraordinary and unlike anything I’ve ever read before. It’s also very difficult to review without spoiling other reader’s experience of it, but I had to give it a go. Multiple narrators were introduced, including a cat, and I was sometimes thoroughly confused, but never contemplated putting the book down. The beauty of the language and cleverness of the structure kept me going, determined to work out what exactly was going on. I was starting to be unsure which sections were real and what was illusion. The author is clearly hugely skilled at creating that sense of the uncanny – when everything seems normal and recognisable, but there is just that sense that something is off-kilter and sinister. The writing is so involving that I was inside a character’s head and at times I had an uneasy feeling I would never be able to get out. I guessed some of what was going on, but not the whole and I love the ambition and audacity. This is a unique, original and deeply creative piece of work that enthralled and stunned in equal measure. Ward is a writer of immense imagination and talent and I felt so privileged to have been given the chance to read this before it hit the shelves and became a phenomenon.

This Is How We Are Human by Louise Beech.

I absolutely loved this incredible book about love, disability, sex and the secrets we keep from each other. Veronica and her son Sebastian live together in Hull. Veronica wants the best for her son and just like all parents, she wants him to grow up and have a full life. However, Veronica isn’t like other parents, because despite Sebastian being twenty years, six months and two days old, he’s struggling with the love and relationships part of his life. Seb is autistic and he is lonely. Seb loves swimming, his fish, fried eggs and Billy Ocean, he’d also love to have sex but no one will have sex with him. He’s already been in trouble after the girl next door convinced him to write an explicit letter to her underage sister. When their lives collide with Violetta, Veronica thinks she can see a way forward. She’s thought of paying someone before, but has stopped herself. Here though, is someone they’ve met before and who was natural with Seb. Veronica couldn’t have known she was leading a double life as a high class escort, in order to earn enough money to keep her seriously ill father at home. These three lives come together and change each other in unexpected ways. This was an incredibly funny book as Seb’s straightforward way of interacting with the world butts up against nuanced and sometimes dishonest way humans deal with each other. This felt so real. So moving. It’s also wonderfully unexpected and such a fresh perspective. I loved it.

The Unheard by Nicci French.

I read this novel on the four hour drive to North Wales and spent most of the first day of my holiday absolutely enthralled with the story. I was hooked immediately, intrigued by the mystery of what exactly Tess’s daughter Poppy had seen or heard. Tess is starting a new life in a garden flat with her daughter, after a divorce from husband Jason. Having a background as a child of divorce, Tess was determined that Poppy should be their number one priority. No matter how much animosity and hurt they feel, their interaction with each other must be civil and they prioritise time with both parents. Jason is already remarried to Emily, a much younger woman who seems very sweet and tries hard to have a relationship with Poppy. One Saturday, Poppy returns from an overnight at her father’s and displays signs of distress. These were classic symptoms, that any counsellor like me, would be concerned by. She’s clingy, she wets the bed and seems to be having nightmares. Over a week these symptoms worsen: she bites a girl at school, uses foul language to her teacher, and her mother is terrified for her. She has her attention drawn to a picture Poppy has drawn, all in black crayon which is a huge contrast from her normal rainbow creations. The picture shows a tower and a woman falling from the top to the ground below. ‘He killed her’ she tells her Mum ‘and killed and killed and killed’. I read a lot of thrillers, but this one had me gripped. Had Poppy seen something? Who should we suspect? Or is Tess manipulating her daughter into such psychological distress? I was greedily hoovering up the chapters till the early hours!

The Metal Heart by Caroline Lea.

This was a simply stunning piece of historical fiction set on Orkney 1940. Five hundred Italian prisoners-of-war arrive to fortify these remote and windswept islands. Resentful islanders are fearful of the enemy in their midst, but not orphaned twin sisters Dorothy and Constance. Already outcasts, they volunteer to nurse all prisoners who are injured or fall sick. Soon Dorothy befriends Cesare, an artist swept up by the machine of war and almost broken by the horrors he has witnessed. She is entranced by his plan to build an Italian chapel from war scrap and sea debris, and something beautiful begins to blossom. But Con, scarred from a betrayal in her past, is afraid for her sister; she knows that people are not always what they seem. This book is stunningly beautiful, so much so that I had to sit and think in the quiet when I’d finished it. It’s so rich in folklore, historical detail, the trauma of war and bereavement that I know I could pick it up to read again and still find something new. I immediately ordered a signed copy for my forever shelf, because it is so special. What did I love about it? The Scottish folklore, the incredible landscape, the community, the dignity of people facing the hardest times of their lives. Then amidst the chaos, violence and confinement, beauty emerges in the shape of a deep, immediate, connection and growing love between two people who can’t even speak the same language. The counterpart to this human story is the Italian Chapel, built out of the scraps of metal huts and concrete the prisoners are allowed. Yet from these humble materials a building of true beauty emerges, that still stands today. It made me emotional to think about the lovers, but also the patience and faith of these incredible men who needed a place to worship, a piece of home.

The Lamplighters by Emma Stonex.

I loved this book so much that I went to bed early two nights running so I could finish it uninterrupted. I was so drawn in by the isolation of this lighthouse, that it was just standing directly in the sea and no one could come on or off until the relief boat came. Inspired by true events, the story is set in two time frames. In one we learn that a writer is researching a book on a famous disappearance of three lighthouse keepers. While in 1972, miles off the coast of Cornwall a relief boat arrives at the Maiden, to find the door locked from the inside, the clocks stopped and no sign of the Principle Keeper or his two assistants. The writer contacts the women left behind by these men: Helen, wife of the Principle Keeper, Arthur; Jenny, wife of Bill his deputy; Michelle, girlfriend of the new recruit Vince. They have all received money from Trident, the company who employ the keepers, but with that came a directive, not to talk about the events surrounding the mystery. At the time, Vince came under the most suspicion. New to the area and with a criminal past, he seems the likely candidate to have harmed the others. Yet, why would Arthur write of a huge storm in the log, when seas had been calm all week? What became of the small boat rumoured to have sailed near the Maiden? There were also whispers about a mechanic sent to carry out repairs at the Principle Keeper’s request. It’s hard, years later, to distinguish between rumour and truth. Will any of the women speak to the writer and will they finally solve the mystery of what happened to the men? This was a fascinating mix of mystery, love story and the hint of the supernatural. The atmosphere created by the writer was incredible and I knew straight away this would be a book of 2021.

That’s my first seven books of the year, so watch out for parts 2 and 3 coming up in the next ten days.