Tag: Psychological

Posted in Squad Pod Collective

Blank Canvas by Grace Murray 

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Introducing an outstanding new voice in literary fiction: a sensual, sharp, and utterly compelling campus novel about grief, reinvention, and the ripple effects of telling lies

If I ever woke up with an ungodly dread ― that I could change it all now, turn around, and confess ― I ignored it. I had never been good, and there was no point in trying now.

On a small liberal arts campus in upstate New York, Charlotte begins her final year with a lie. Her father died over the summer, she says. Heart attack. Very sudden.

Charlotte had never been close with her classmates but as she repeats her tale, their expressions soften into kindness. And so she learns there are things worth lying for: attention, affection, and, as she embarks on a relationship with fellow student Katarina, even love. All she needs to do is keep control of the threads that hold her lie – and her life – together.

But six thousand miles away, alone in the grey two-up-two-down Staffordshire terrace she grew up in, her father is very much alive, watching television and drinking beer. Charlotte has always kept difficult truths at arm’s length, but his resolve to visit his distant daughter might just be the one thing she can’t control?

I found myself unsure who to like in this novel about a student on a liberal arts campus, but I became drawn in by the tangle of lies and complicated emotions around Charlotte and her relationship with Katarina. When Charlotte first sees Katarina on campus she’s not impressed and describes some aspects of her as ugly, but I thought she became fascinated by Katarina’s confidence. This stands out in the work she’s producing and her very clear sense of who she is, she also seems to make friends easily, whereas Charlotte is something of a loner. When they first meet Katarina has a lot of opinions, likening the TV show ‘Married at First Sight’ to our ancestors enjoyment of public executions. She sees no distinction between high and low forms of art. Katarina is an artist who has no trouble in taking her work seriously, whereas Charlotte is full of doubts and struggles to meet the workload. Charlotte doesn’t really know who she is: in the car she checks whether Katarina likes a song before confirming that she likes it too; she starts to dress like Katarina and notices her wardrobe has become ‘theirs’. It’s also clear that she feels different and dislocated from a sense of family, as she notices Katarina’s lock screen on her phone where she and her mother are hugging and smiling for the camera she thinks they look like ‘catalogue people, entirely unreal’. When Katarina and her friends ask about her own family she tells them family life was turbulent, she was uprooted from schools and moved around a lot. She also tells them her father died over the summer. Of course this brings sympathy and less questions, but Tamsyn mentions her misgivings to Katarina: 

“If my dad were gone […] I’d feel insane. Totally scooped out. I wouldn’t be able to chill or smile, or fuck or anything.” 

Charlotte tells Katarina that Tamsyn can’t cope with someone’s grief response being different to her own. Even though Charlotte seems attached to Katarina, she says things that suggest she’s just playing out the role of girlfriend rather than actually being present. There are things she doesn’t like about Katarina, in fact she finds some behaviours disgusting, but pushes the thoughts to the back of her mind. As she analyses how she feels she does mention that she loves her – “in a way. The only way I could”. What she has learned is that her story of her father’s sudden heart attack makes people soften towards her and treat her nicely. Although that comes with its own problems, when the following summer Katarina finds them a working stay in Italy. As they’re fed by Guilia and do the work on her smallholding she finds a sense of peace and even contentment, but she doesn’t know how to process or enjoy these positive emotions.

“There was something bottomless about being content. I knew other emotions well, sought them out. I knew how to be in them, occupy them and how to cover them up, so they looked like something else, all wrapped and packaged.” 

Her need to be so tightly controlled is being tested and there may be something else she can’t control. The father she has buried and mourned in her head has been concerned about the growing distance between him and his daughter. He could simply book an AirBnB and fly out to see her, meet her friends and have a catch up. I felt Charlotte’s tension as she tries to control her every response and remember the lies she has told before and be consistent. I was waiting for everything to collapse and found myself concerned about what that might do to her mental health. I also felt for her father, who comes across as a loving and kind man. I found myself wondering whether her lie was rooted in repressed feelings around her dad. What was she angry about and what had happened in her childhood to leave her with no sense of who she is or what she is worth? During the last third of the book we find the answers to these questions, bringing that hopefulness to the book that began to creep in during their time in Italy. Not only does Charlotte have to deal with the consequences of her lies, she must face the reasons she started to tell them in the first place. This was where I started to feel some emotion for her and I think other readers will too. When I used to work with clients, I would use the brick wall analogy. If the wall is unstable, the builder must take it back brick by brick to where the problem begins and fix it before rebuilding. That’s what Charlotte must now do and I had hopes that she would reconcile with her father, find some inspiration for her final art piece and most of all find her sense of self. 

I was impressed by the author’s depiction of Charlotte’s fragile mental state and sense of self. The novel asks all sorts of questions about what makes us who we are – is it the things we like, the people who love us, our achievements or is there a solid, innate character that determines all these things? Is our sense of who we are fixed and unchanging or is it more fluid? The background of university and Charlotte’s choice of a creative subject is interesting because we create and generate ideas that show aspects of our self and the times we live in. One of the tutors explains this by showing his students a female face that can be seen reproduced in many different ways through centuries and art movements, but it is eventually revealed to be variations on the Madonna. He tells his students that every image is the ghost of all the words and pictures that come before it and that is also true of us. The self we are today is the result of every thing, person or experience we’ve ever known, good or bad. It is only by stripping back and rebuilding, accepting all the parts of our self – even the parts or experiences we don’t like and have caused us pain – that we can be content. In that journey, Charlotte might finally be able to create something she can own and be proud of. 

Meet the Author

Grace Murray was born in 2003 and grew up in Norwich. She has recently graduated from Edinburgh University, where she read English Literature and found time to write between her studies and two part-time jobs. Her short fiction has been published in The London Magazine.


In writing Blank Canvas, Grace set out to explore themes of Catholic guilt and queer identity, clashing moral codes and lies, and the opportunity for reinvention presented by moving between countries and settings. Blank Canvas was written over the course of a year as part of WriteNow, Penguin Random House’s flagship mentorship scheme for emerging talent. Grace Murray won one of nine places on the scheme on the exceptional strength of her writing, selected from a pool of over 1,300 applicants.

Posted in Ten on Tuesday

Ten on Tuesday: Books About Fathers 

Posted on by thelotusreaders

 

Just Ignore Him by Alan Davies

The story of a life built on sand. In the rain.

In this compelling memoir, comedian and actor Alan Davies recalls his boyhood with vivid insight and devastating humour. Shifting between his 1970s upbringing and his life today, Davies moves poignantly from innocence to experience to the clarity of hindsight, always with a keen sense of the absurd.

From sibling dynamics, to his voiceless, misunderstood progression through school, sexuality and humiliating ‘accidents’, Davies inhabits his younger mind with spectacular accuracy, sharply evoking an era when Green Shield Stamps, Bob-a-Job week and Whizzer & Chips loomed large, a bus fare was 2p – and children had little power in the face of adult motivation. Here, there are often exquisitely tender recollections of the mother he lost at six years old, of a bereaved family struggling to find its way, and the kicks and confusion of adolescence. It also bravely relates the years after his mother’s death where he was subjected to sexual abuse by his father.

Through even the joyous and innocent memories, the pain of Davies’s lifelong grief and profound betrayal is unfiltered, searing and beautifully articulated. Just Ignore Him is not only an autobiography, it is a testament to a survivor’s resilience and courage. I’ve always loved Alan and loved his anecdotes on QI and his As Yet Untitled series. He brings the same humorous and loveable narrative voice to this fantastic memoir.

 

Remember Me by Charity Norman

They never found Leah Parata. Not a boot, not a backpack, not a turquoise beanie. After she left me that day, she vanished off the face of the earth.

A close-knit community is ripped apart by disturbing revelations that cast new light on a young woman’s disappearance twenty-five years ago.

After years of living overseas, Emily returns to New Zealand to care for her father who has dementia. As his memory fades and his guard slips, she begins to understand him for the first time – and to glimpse shattering truths about his past. I loved this wonderful story from Charity Norman, who mines the secrets and complicated emotions of family life perfectly. As Emily’s father deteriorates she learns more about his past and begins to see him as more than her father but as a man in his own right. A man who has secrets.

Are some secrets best left buried?

H Is For Hawk by Helen MacDonald 

The hawk was everything I wanted to be: solitary, self-possessed, free from grief, and numb to the hurts of human life. 

An instant international bestseller and prize-winning sensation, Helen Macdonald’s story of adopting and raising a goshawk has soared into the hearts of millions of readers. This book has just been made into a film with Clare Foy doing the honours as Helen, so it’s a great time to catch this if you haven’t already read it. Fierce and feral, her goshawk Mabel’s temperament mirrors Helen’s own state of grief after her father’s death, and together raptor and human discover the pain and beauty of being alive.

H Is for Hawk is a genre-defying masterpiece on grief, memory, taming and untaming, and how it might be possible to reconcile death with life and love.

 

Us by David Nicholls

Douglas and Connie – scientist and artist, husband and wife – live a quiet and quietly unremarkable life in the suburbs of London. Until, suddenly, after more than twenty years of marriage, Connie decides she wants a divorce.

Heartbroken but determined, Douglas comes up with the perfect plan: he is going to win back the love of his wife and the respect of Albie, their teenage son, by organising the holiday of a lifetime.

The hotels are booked, the tickets bought, the itinerary planned and printed.

What could possibly go wrong?

This is one of those quietly devastating books that Nicholls excels at and we can slowly see all the reasons Connie and Douglas aren’t suited to one another. They have the type of differences we overlook in the early stages of love and through the years of having a child. Now as their son is in his last summer before university it will be just the two of them. Doug imagines them growing together across their holiday and has his itinerary neatly planned, but will Connie and Albie fit in with his plans? As always while Doug is trying to control life it is busy changing and happening all around him. I loved this story and felt deeply for Doug, whilst also understanding Albie’s anger and Connie’s need to leave.

 

Big Fish by George Wallace

Do you ever really know your father? 

Like many sons, William Bloom never really knew his father. Edward told him stories too incredible to believe about his exploits as a younger man, but any attempt to find out serious truths have been met with laughter and brush-offs. And that never mattered. But now Edward is dying, suddenly it matters a great deal. 

So William sets out to tell his father’s story, as he imagines it. He tames a giant, is dragged by an enormous fish through a lake and escapes a purgatory of lost dreams. Through legends and myths, William makes Edward into a true Big Fish. I thoroughly enjoyed this as it appealed to my love of complex relationships while also dipping into my interest in monstrous creatures, circus folk and magic realism. It felt like that way we gather round a loved one who is dying and share funny stories about their life, but in fantastical proportions! Having gone through the loss of someone close to me I can understand why we make them larger than life and how important these stories become as the years pass.

The Storied Life of AJ Fickry by Gabrielle Zevin

A.J. Fikry, the grumpy owner of Island Books, is going through a hard time: his bookshop is failing, he has lost his beloved wife, and his prized possession – a rare first edition book has been stolen. Over time, he has given up on people, and even the books in his store, instead of offering solace, are yet another reminder of a world that is changing too rapidly.

But one day A.J. finds two-year-old Maya sitting on the bookshop floor, with a note attached to her asking the owner to look after her. His life – and Maya’s – is changed forever. A.J is that curmudgeonly middle aged man who can be rude and condescending to everyone he meets, but you always suspect there’s a softer side. Maya is the catalyst for that mellowing of his character. Now he has to consider someone other than himself and he dotes on her, with a focus on making sure his little bookworm is kept busy. Maya is just so loveable and as we follow her through life it’s hard to imagine her as anything but a Fikry. I thoroughly enjoyed their father and daughter relationship but also the whole community around Island Books. We get the running of a bookshop with odd customers, book events that fail miserably and the visiting authors. It’s a simply but enchanting story that any book lover will enjoy.

The Twelve Lives of Samuel Hawley

After years spent living on the run, Samuel Hawley moves with his teenage daughter Loo to Olympus, Massachusetts. There, in his late wife’s hometown, Hawley finds work as a fisherman, while Loo struggles to fit in at school and grows curious about her mother’s mysterious death. Haunting them both are the twelve scars Hawley carries on his body, from twelve bullets in his criminal past – a past that eventually spills over into his daughter’s present, until together they must face a reckoning yet to come. Both a coming of age novel and a literary thriller, this explores what it means to be a hero, and the price we pay to protect the people we love most. There’s something really profound about this novel even though it is a simple story. It starts with Samuel teaching his daughter Loo how to shoot with his collection of firearms. They are poor and spend all their time moving from place to place until their return to Olympus where Loo’s maternal grandmother is from. Every time they they’ve moved Samuel sets up a little shrine to Loo’s mother Lily and she hopes to find out more about her. We see the two of them coping with a decision to stay in one place and how Loo starts to form her first relationships. In between we see flashbacks to Lily and Sam’s criminal past. I loved how rich in detail it is and the complex psychology of the characters too.

A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian by Marina Lewicka 

Two years after my mother died, my father fell in love with a glamorous blonde Ukrainian divorcée. He was eighty-four and she was thirty-six. She exploded into our lives like a fluffy pink grenade, churning up the murky water, bringing to the surface a sludge of sloughed-off memories, giving the family ghosts a kick up the backside. Sisters Vera and Nadezhda must aside a lifetime of feuding to save their émigré engineer father from voluptuous gold-digger Valentina. With her proclivity for green satin underwear and boil-in-the-bag cuisine, she will stop at nothing in her pursuit of Western wealth.

The sisters’ campaign to oust Valentina unearths family secrets, uncovers fifty years of Europe’s darkest history and sends them back to roots they’d much rather forget. Part of my reason for loving this book is how much Vera and Nadezhda’s father reminds me of my late father-in-law Aleksander who had an incredible past. He also had an engineer’s practical mindset and a hilariously tactless turn of phrase that never failed to send me into fits of the giggles – one of my favourites was offering a lady his dining chair at Easter Sunday lunch because she was on a kitchen stool and had ‘a much bigger bottom’ than him. This book is touching, covering all the frustrations of dealing with an elderly relative who will not be helped. It is also laugh out loud funny, with some of the best dialogue I’ve read.

 

A Heart that Works by Rob Delaney

I came to know Rob Delaney through the brilliant Catastrophe and I was devastated for him when he lost his son Henry. I also deeply admired the way he talked about the loss, so openly and honestly. In his memoir of loss, he grapples with the fragile miracle of life, the mysteries of death, and the question of purpose for those left behind.

Rob’s beautiful, bright, gloriously alive son Henry died. He was one when he was diagnosed with a brain tumour. An experience beyond comprehension, but an experience Rob must share. Despite Henry’s death, Rob still loves people. For that reason, he wants them to understand and I found his approach inspiring. He never reached for cliches or minimised the enormity of his family’s grief, however uncomfortable that truth might be for other people. If he felt like shit about it he said so, but he also acknowledged that with other children at home life had to go on day to day. The world does not stop. His book is just as intimate, unflinching and fiercely funny – exploring his family’s experience from the harrowing illness to the vivid, bodily impact of grief and the blind, furious rage that follows, through to the forceful, unstoppable love that remains. Utterly brilliant and strangely hopeful.

 

The Good Father by Noah Hawley

Dr Paul Allen is a well-respected man. He lives a happy, comfortable life with his second wife and their family. Until the night when a knock at the door blows his world apart: a hugely popular presidential candidate has been shot, and they say the young man who pulled the trigger is Paul’s son. Daniel, is the only child from his first, failed marriage. He was always a good kid and Paul is convinced this quiet boy is not capable of murder. Overwhelmed by a vortex of feelings, Paul embarks on a mission to understand what happened and why. Following the trail of his son’s journey across America, he is forced to re-examine his life as a husband and a parent, and every decision he ever made.

What follows is a powerfully emotional and suspense-filled quest that keeps you guessing to the very end. This was a great read for my book club several years ago and brought out some very interesting viewpoints and widely different perspectives on parenting. Many of us were scathing of a father who chooses to take promotion on the other side of the US from his young son, who had to be placed on a plane alone to travel from west to east coast to visit his father. Others felt it was important for a parent to prioritise their career. It was interesting to read a book with this storyline from the perspective of a father rather than a mother and all of us enjoyed it immensely.

Posted in Netgalley

Let the Bad Times Roll by Alice Slater

Posted on by thelotusreaders

THEN

Alone in New Orleans, Selina is struggling to fit in until a charismatic stranger invites her for a drink. It feels like fate, but who is Daniel, and what does he want from her? Just as the humidity and the hangovers start to take their toll, Daniel vanishes

NOW

Daniel is missing. No one has seen or heard from him in weeks. Beside herself with worry, his sister Caroline hosts an intimate gathering in her London home so those closest to Daniel can come together and compare notes. But what should have been five courses of a Cajun-style feast has now become an interrogation. Those left behind must piece together their shared understanding of the man they thought they knew.

And all isn’t quite as it seems: Caroline has invited a stranger to the table, an accomplished psychic who claims to have met Daniel four thousand miles away in New Orleans. As evening turns to night, the dark truth of what really happened begins to emerge…

As a lifelong fan of Harry Connick Junior I have always fancied a trip to New Orleans. I certainly don’t want this trip to New Orleans, although the author presents a city that’s full of life and her descriptions of the food, cocktails and atmosphere really set the scene for me. It feels like a place where you could have a very good time or a very bad time with nothing in between. I felt something was ‘off’ very quickly, both at Caroline’s house and during their dinner guest Selina’s story of her trip to New Orleans. As Daniel’s friends gathered at his sister’s London home it took me a while to get to know everyone, but something about the gathering and their relationships seemed strange. If my brother had gone missing somewhere in the world, I’m not sure I’d have gone out of my way to cook a dish from that place. It felt a little suffocating and even in their reminiscences Caroline seemed unusually attached to her brother. We know their parents are dead and they only have each other, but they went to university together, live together and Caroline was trying hard to control her brother’s share of their inheritance. I was starting to think that if I were Daniel, I might have disappeared. As the novel begins she is getting ready for her brother’s return like Mrs Dalloway, picking up flowers and shopping for a special dinner almost as if she’s preparing for a lover. Then there’s Richard, friend to them both and their housemate at university. His attachment to Caroline does go further than friendship, but it feels one sided with one flashback that may be the most awkward sex scene I’ve ever read. 

As psychic Selina starts to relate her story of meeting Daniel in New Orleans the discomfort continues. I liked Selina and related to her feelings of empathy for Daniel, but she has no boundaries. She’s booked an ordinary New Orleans tourist experience, but once Daniel is involved he seems determined to show her his version of the city and she goes willingly. He had me on edge immediately because he felt like a swan, seemingly chilled and witty on the surface, but clearly pedalling like mad underneath to keep up a front. I suspected early on that he was struggling, emotionally and financially, latching onto people who would be susceptible to his charm. With his white shirt and long hair (I might have imagined the leather trousers) his appearance made me think of Michael Hutchence – very dynamic and magnetic but perhaps hasn’t washed for a few days! I kept veering between thinking he was genuine then suspecting that he’d noticed Selina’s alternative look and her habit of consulting her tarot cards in public places. Did he see her as gullible and potentially his next mark? He matches the city perfectly. Underneath the usual tourist hotspots there’s a decadence in the food, the bars and even the people. Some of the food and drink scenes made me queasy. It sounds delicious in theory but never tastes quite right, it’s too rich and full of seafood. There’s a particular shot that’s like oysters, it feels like drinking ‘phlegm’ something I’m almost phobic about. Daniel suggests trips to a death museum and out to the Bayou trail where morbid death stories are the norm. He’s like an energy vampire, feeding off making someone else unsettled and slowly Selina becomes more unsure of herself, her judgement and even her psychic abilities. We shouldn’t be surprised, after all this city is the home of voodoo priestesses, ghosts and vampire stories. Death seems to be everywhere and the city starts to feel as claustrophobic as Caroline’s flat. 

Of course this is Selina’s version of events and it’s a brave thing to do, going into Daniel’s home and meeting his closest friends and family. Especially when the story you have to tell either puts their loved one in a bad light or confirms they’re in danger. However, as we learn more about his friends between Selina’s story, I couldn’t understand what kept them together as a group. There’s a history of Daniel taking from people, whether it’s knowledge, sex, or money and he never seems to be held accountable. Caroline is always there to mop things up, like an overprotective mother. There are so many unspoken feelings here, Selina loves Max but suspects he loves Daniel. Richard still loves Caroline. They clearly care about Daniel, but their memories throw up so many questions about him. I didn’t really like any of them. There are so many twists and turns in their reminiscences as well as in Selina’s tale. They take us as far back as their shared university years and through many unexpected places and events before we reach the end. Everyone has a reason to dislike Daniel. He is a strange combination of both scared and reckless. It’s as if Caroline has been holding on so tight because she knows that out of her sight he will self destruct, taking more risks and falling further than ever. Is her tendency to control coming from a place of fear? It’s almost as if Daniel can only throw himself into life fully if he knows it has a finite end. I won’t tell you anymore, but it doesn’t end the way you expect. This is very clever writing and I really didn’t know how I felt at the end. I disliked pretty much every character, but still couldn’t put this book down. Everyone is hiding something and the journey to find out their secrets is unnerving, confusing and very disturbing indeed. 

Meet the Author


Alice Slater is a writer, podcaster and ex-bookseller from London. She studied creative writing at MMU and UEA. She lives in London with her husband and a lot of books. Death of a Bookseller is her first novel.

Posted in Squad Pod

Room 706 by Ellie Levenson 

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Kate and Vic have been married for a few years after meeting when she was studying in Rome. After a normal morning rush at home she travels into London, on the pretext of doing an interview. However, she has a different destination in mind. This is an appointment she’s been keeping for several years like clockwork. Now she’s caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. She should be travelling home later this afternoon – picking up the kids from school and collecting the rabbit from the vets. Instead she’s trapped in room 706, in a luxury hotel that’s under siege by a terrorist group. How can she explain why she’s here? Even if her body is discovered in the aftermath, everyone will wonder what she is doing here? She has always been very careful, leaving no trace. Now she wonders whether her husband Vic will understand why? As she tries to summon the words that convey just how much Vic and her children mean to her, Kate reflects on all the choices that brought her here. 

I’d read so many great reports of this book and I couldn’t wait to read it, as soon as it arrived last year. It’s such a great premise and has a woman who doesn’t enjoy the constraints of marriage and motherhood. I can honestly say that even I’ve fantasied about holidaying alone for a fortnight, never mind an afternoon in a hotel. Although I couldn’t be bothered by a lover either. This is one of those books that makes the reader go back and forth on what they think of the characters and I can imagine book clubs having long conversations about Kate particularly. After all, society judges women far more harshly than men, especially those who express dislike or even ambivalence about motherhood. I didn’t just focus on Kate, because I felt if I was to understand I needed to look at the whole of her life and the people who’d had the most influence on her. The author takes us beyond those Instagram selfies with the new baby and the false idea it can give of other people’s perfect lives. Here we look at the reality of family life for Kate and how the way we parent is often based on the example of our parents or grandparents. Our ability to parent is also dependent on our work situation as well as the personality or parenting style of the other parent. The author cleverly tells Kate’s story in her own words and then shows through memories, alerts and messages on her phone, as well as mental conversation with people she’s lost, who Kate is and what happened to bring her here. 

We know she loves her husband Vic. While studying in Rome she lived in his Nonna’s apartment, while Nonna had her own place with her grandson Vic who has suffered a nervous breakdown. Despite being ten years older than Kate, Vic is treated as the vulnerable one who needs protection. His brother Tom pleads with her not to hurt his brother and I felt the weight of that placed upon her. Yet Kate has just lost her mother, will she ever get to be the vulnerable one? They are happy and Kate relives so many beautiful memories that show us how much she loves him and their children. Yet there isn’t anyone apart from Vic’s brother to be their support network. Kate and her mum were a duo, no dad around and no siblings either. I loved one moment where Kate asked her mother what it’s like being a single mum. Her mum replies honestly that it’s hard work, but she can choose how they live and the values they have. There’s no one else to negotiate with, no clashing parenting styles or being let down by someone not doing their bit. If you contrast this with the evidence of Kate’s own phone it’s telling. She has an app that divides her ‘to do’ list into things that need to be done now, in the next couple of months, or sometime in the future. She sets reminders to coordinate her life, so ‘to do’ reminders join the reminder to check her breasts, to do her kegel exercises, to do the weekly food order. Meanwhile she places family photos into folders, makes lists of bank passwords, Christmas gift lists and house maintenance jobs. If she dies here, Vic will need to know this stuff. By contrast her male lover simply sleeps. Because he can.

Kate reminisces about a family holiday they took to Italy and reassesses the hours spent on research, price comparing, insurance, bite and sunburn cream, swimwear for the kids and so on. Vic would have simply bought a couple of T-shirts and booked the second or third package deal they saw and it would still have been a good holiday. Vic’s laidback parenting style and his vulnerability mean she’s he person who carries that mental load. Of course some of this is on Kate, as she’s clearly risk averse and overthinks decisions but she also has no significant female support. Since she lost her mum and then best friend Eve, all her relationships outside the home are superficial. Do these things excuse adultery? It will still hurt the ones they love, never mind the psychological reasons for the decision. However, all of that juggling made me understand a little. She has a need for something – rather like an old-fashioned pressure cooker needs to blow off steam. In this time, in an anonymous hotel room what she needs is no strings, no judgement and no backstory. It’s just completely selfish pleasure. Her sex life at home is tender and loving, they consider each other and everything they’ve built together as a couple is part of their sex life. From that unexpected first time with her lover it’s been about taking her pleasure and asking for exactly what she wants. This afternoon, that happens once every few weeks, enables her to be the wife and mum the family need her to be. She’s trying to recapture that carefree young woman who went off to study in Italy, who has clearly been totally changed by everything that’s happened since. It seems ironic that someone who plans everything so carefully, finds herself in a situation that’s absolutely out of her control. 

This is an incredible debut! It’s absolutely pitch perfect. The author carefully lets the tension mount so slowly that while reminiscing we can almost forget where Kate is in the here and now. A prisoner in this room, she has to be silent so they can’t put the television on and they can’t flush a toilet. When the lights and electricity go they’re almost totally cut off from the outside world. It’s an eerie muffled silence, but a quiet that is sometimes broken by heavy footsteps or other hotel guests meeting their fate. You will hold your breath at times. The forced intimacy means she asks questions of her lover that she’s never asked before. She knows nothing about his life, only that he’s married and has been sleeping with her in this way for several years. We know the terrorists are stalking the corridors, one floor at a time, but we don’t know whether they have a master key or a bomb. I realised that despite her family unit, Kate is lonely. What she wants is for someone to see and appreciate her as Kate the woman, not the mum, wife or journalist. You will be compelled to read this as I did, long into the night. It has the pitch perfect pacing and tension of a thriller, but so many psychological layers. Women will identify with Kate, at least some part of her. She very simply wants to be seen, desired and receive pleasure. Surely though, at some point, Room 706 will be next. Kate has had an opportunity to assess and understand her life, to possibly make changes and live more. You’ll have to read to the end to find out whether she gets that chance. 

Out on Jan 15th 2026 from Headline

Meet the Author

Hi, I’m Ellie Levenson. I’m the author of the novel Room 706 which comes out in January 2026. It’s my debut novel, though you may see other books by me online as I was previously a freelance journalist and during this time wrote some non fiction books including one on feminism and one on how to get ideas for features. I have also written various books for children using the name Eleanor Levenson.

Room 706 tells the story of Kate, a happily married mother who meets her lover, James, in hotels every few months as a form of me-time. It might as well be a facial or a shoe-buying habit, she tells herself. Except this time, while cleaning up and getting dressed, she turns on the television and looks at her phone and realises the hotel has been seized by terrorists. How do you tell your spouse that you won’t be home to pick up the kids because you’re at the centre of the incident on the news?

It comes out in January 2026. In the meantime do give this page a follow if you’d like to be kept up to date with my work, and any special offers. And if you do feel able to pre-order, that is super helpful.

Posted in Random Things Tours

Into the Dark by Orjan Karlssen (Arctic Mysteries 2) 

Posted on by thelotusreaders

In Norway’s far north, something unspeakable is surfacing…

When a mutilated body rises from the icy waters off the jetty in Kjerringøy, it shocks the quiet coastal village – and stirs something darker beneath. Not long after, a young woman is found dead in a drab Bodø apartment. Suicide, perhaps. Or something far more sinister. Detective Jakob Weber and former national investigator Noora Yun Sande are drawn into both cases. Then a hiker reports a terrifying encounter in the nearby wilderness: a solitary cabin … and a man without a face.

As the investigation deepens, the clues grow more disturbing – and the wild, wintry landscape closes in. Jakob is certain of one thing: if they don’t find the killer soon, he’ll strike again.

This was a genuinely terrifying thriller from Orjan Karlssen, the second in his Arctic Mysteries series featuring investigators Jakob Weber and Noora Yun Sande. I read one section out loud to my other half who said ‘no wonder you have weird dreams”. This referred to a recurring figure seen by people in the novel and variously described as having completely dark eyes, a face like liquid, and a face it’s impossible to truly describe as it seemed indistinct. The team find themselves with two cases that could potentially be linked, with Noora newly back at work after injury. This case is very dark and I love that Scandi Noir is never scared of taking its readers to the darkest places, in a way a lot of other crime novels shy away from. This maybe crime, but it’s certainly not cozy! The author uses the surroundings of Kerringjay to create a dark and dangerous atmosphere. Here it isn’t just weather, it can and does kill. There is something mystical about this place, isolated and surrounded by mountains inland and the coast. There’s a sense of being alone and also enclosed, when they encounter an artist as part of the case, his girlfriend Britt describes his obsession with one particular mountain that he seemed to be painting over and over. It’s beautiful but bleak here. Noora only has to look out of the window to see:

“a display of the northern lights played out  across the sky in shades of purple and turquoise. The atmospheric  glow made the water below sparkle like tiny pieces of silver. It was  a phosphorescence that arose and vanished in the blink of an eye.”

But the days are short and dark, the sea is bitingly cold and the wind will rip a scream away from your mouth before it can be heard. It all adds to the tension and also the sense of danger. It’s horrifying for Tuva, who is undertaking her naked swim with best friends Britt and Katja. She’s needed some time with her friends after her lover Emilio simply disappeared from her life, leaving no trace. Firstly the women spot an unusual figure, standing and watching them from the sidelines. He’s hard to describe but the women are unnerved and make sure he moves away. Then they’re hit by an unbelievable smell coming from the water, leaving them thinking a sewage pipe may have discharged. As a yellow anorak floats to the surface Tuva is transfixed. She knows this coat and its usual smell very well. It’s Emilio’s clothing. As the figure turns over in the water the women realise he’s been in the water for some time and his eyes are missing. 

“She didn’t want to gaze into that abyss but was unable to look away. The once full lips had been eaten away by fish […] leaving only grimacing teeth.” 

I enjoyed Noora and Jakob as characters and it’s definitely a good idea to read the first Arctic Mysteries book to get a sense of where their journeys started. Jakob comes across as very measured, he thinks of the different angles before acting. I loved the way he dealt with being called into his brother’s school as his guardian. While he remained respectful he was also well aware of certain teachers and their attitude, so made sure he got his brother alone to get to the bottom of what’s happened. Even the teacher who remembers Jakob is unable to get under his skin. He treats his work in a similar way, his only deviation from his customary caution is journalist Sigrid who he has a fledgling relationship with, but even then he’s constantly defining the boundaries of what he can and won’t share with her. Noora is more instinctive and that’s a voluble tool to have, however she’s vulnerable at the moment, just back at work after injury. The author’s description of the referred nerve pain Noora feels was painfully accurate and reminded me of days when I push myself too far. Jakob checks in all the time and at one point makes it clear that if she’s not being straight with him about her limitations they could both end up in trouble. I have complex pain so I understood her reticence about being open, she doesn’t want to be relegated to a desk or lose her job when she’s good at it. She does start to push it a little, taking a few more painkillers than she should here and there. She asks Jakob to trust her, but I was scared for both of them. 

It’s Noora who feels most angry about some aspects of the case because she’s a woman and from that perspective Kjerschow’s techniques are hard to accept. Their investigation after Emilio was found took them to the nearby Miele Foundation, run by financier and Gestalt Therapist called Kjerschow. Jakob finds him evasive when they question him about his centre and the clients who stay there. He feels like the man is deflecting questions back as if he is a mirror, which makes sense if you understand his training. Gestalt Therapy is a humanistic approach which asks the client to use the here and now to resolve long term problems, using techniques like the Empty Chair where they can talk to someone as if they’re present to resolve conflict. There’s an element of acting out or role play in these techniques and Kjerschow shows them the basement at the foundation, usually known as the Expurgation Room. It has a dirt floor and a strange, tree like structure with branches that show traces of blood. Is Kjerschow so arrogant that he believes the police won’t notice or that he can manipulate them to dig no further. He describes his usual clients as wealthy bankers and the like, who use activity based techniques in the room to expurgate their tendencies. I love that Jakob is one step ahead of him and won’t let money stand in the way of getting their man. 

As the killer takes out another victim, close to home, it becomes genuinely terrifying. The man without a face appears again and there’s something hypnotic about him, almost as if you couldn’t look away even if you wanted to. It doesn’t take long to find another body on the shoreline, with their eyes gouged and beautifully cut circle of skin taken from around the naval. Jakob starts to suggest potential suspects stay in a hotel together, where they can have an eye kept on them. At this point you’ll want to read on to the end and it’s totally worth it. The tension is incredible as Noora and Jakob get ever closer. Noora witnesses something despicable at the Miele Foundation while Jakob follows a lead up onto those mountains Emilio was so fond of painting. I was torn between whether something mystical was going on, or whether someone with great influence was orchestrating it all. My heart was hammering as Noora and Jakob put themselves on the line to prevent another murder. Will Jakob’s promised trust in Noora hold out? Who is the strange man in the parka and is he responsible for the murders? As the truth of Kjerschow’s therapy comes to light and the police surround a cabin in the woods, with ravens in cages as warning signals, they know this is no ordinary killer. I heartily recommend this series to fans of Scandi Noir because it really is a fantastic addition to the genre. Although I’ll have to read something a bit less nightmare inducing for a couple of days. 

Meet the Author

Ørjan Karlsson (b. 1970) grew up in Bodø, in the far north of Norway. A sociologist by education, he received officer training in the army and has taken part in many missions overseas. He has worked at the Ministry of Defence and is now head of department in the Norwegian Directorate for Civil Protection. He has written a wide range of thrillers, sci-fi novels and crime fiction, and been shortlisted for or won numerous awards, with a number of his books currently in production for the screen. He lives in Nordland, where the Jakob Weber crime series is set.

Posted in Ten on Tuesday

Ten on Tuesday: Ten Books to Know Me 

Posted on by thelotusreaders

I thought it was probably time to introduce myself to my new subscribers and what better way to do it than by sharing some of my all time favourite novels. First of all I’d like to say welcome to you all and thank you for subscribing. This year there will still be book reviews and blog tour posts, but I’m also going to be sharing my favourite novel and authors with my Sunday Spotlight and my new Tens on Tuesday posts, starting with this one. I think this post lets you know a bit about me and my interests: historical novels, crime and mystery, the Gothic, trauma and psychology, disability and finally a little sprinkle of magic. I hope you enjoy hearing about what I’m currently reading but also older books, authors and themes I love too. Wishing you all a Happy New Year and a great year reading what you love.

I think this novel is the one that explains a lot about my reading tastes ever since I first read it when I was ten years old and the BBC series with Timothy Dalton as Mr Rochester was on Sunday afternoons. I loved how this little girl tried to stand up for herself with her horrible aunt and cousin, being labelled wilful and passionate and in need of correction. Being locked in the Red Room and then sent to boarding school at Lowood were meant to soften her, to make her grateful for the roof over her head. All it does is strengthen her sense of justice and although she learns to keep her opinions in check, those emotions are still simmering underneath. When she takes a position as governess to a French girl called Adele at Thornfield Hall, the book becomes more than a Bildungsroman and develops into a Gothic mystery, a genre I love to this day. The scenes where Jane hears noises in the passageway at night, she hears a maniacal laugh and finds a half burned candle left behind, then when a dark, demonic woman enters Jane’s bedroom and tears her wedding veil in two, are truly frightening. Added to this is the dark and mysterious Mr Rochester who appears out of the mist on a black horse and finds solace in the quiet Jane who can keep up with his intellect and doesn’t bow to his demands. Now if a book has a stately home, a mystery to solve, the paranormal and a feminist heroine it’s in my basket straight away. 

I bought this novel for the cover alone when I saw it in Lindum Books. I now have six copies in different styles and I love them all. I’ve seen the novel described as phantasmagorical and I could apply this word to a whole raft of books I’ve read since. Outside London, in an undefined historical setting, a wandering and magical circus appears where many of the attractions defy explanation. As well as disappearing and reappearing at will, the circus is the focus of a competition played by two powerful magicians through their protégés Marcus and Celia. The great magician Prospero and his rival Mr A.H. have chosen their players and proceed to create magical challenges for the younger pair, but this is a secret competition and neither one knows they are rivals. Celia is Prospero’s daughter and he has trained her as an illusionist, using cruel and manipulative methods. Marcus is trained to create fantastical scenes for the circus that he must pluck out of his mind. As soon as they’re both of age they are linked to the circus, not knowing their competitor but becoming increasingly suspicious that they’re present at the Circus of Dreams. Meanwhile, other performers start to question the circus and its magical powers – they are forever young and unable to leave. The beauty of the circus seems to mask sinister intent and as Celia resolves to end this game, she and Marco fall in love. Is this love doomed or can they escape without causing further harm. This book inspires artists and creatives all over the world and it captures my imagination every time I pick it up for a re-read. 

 

As someone with a disability, a heroine with a ‘hare’ or cleft lip was a real find in a book that had really passed me by until around twenty years ago. The author Mary Webb was writing in the early 20th Century but her heroine Pru Sarn lives in rural Shropshire at the beginning of the 19th Century. Local suspicion is that Pru’s mother was scared by a hare during pregnancy, causing the disfigurement she calls her ‘precious bane’. Bad luck starts to dog the family when Pru’s father dies and there is no ‘sin eater’ at the funeral. Superstition states that someone must take on the deceased’s sins so that they’re ensured a place in heaven. Despite all his family’s please not to, Pru’s brother steps forward to take on those sins and from that point on their luck changes. Gideon goes from an affable young man, in love with the prettiest local girl Janis Beguildy and set to take on the family farm, to a bitter and avaricious individual who drives his own family into exhaustion in the pursuit of money. Meanwhile, Pru falls in love with Kester Woodseaves, the weaver at Jancis’s bridal celebration but there’s nothing that would make him look at her twice with her lip and the ill luck that goes with it. This is a story rich with local folklore and old skills that are slowly dying out in rural communities. It’s also about how those superstitions can drive people to look for blame and how women like Pru can become scapegoats for a bad wheat crop. Billed as a writer of romance there’s a lot more to Mary Webb’s work and her challenge to the stereotype of facial disfigurement representing evil is definitely ahead of his time. 

I loved this book from Alice Hoffman so much, because it has all the Hoffman magic but is set within the Coney Island freak shows at the turn of the 20th Century, something I researched while writing my dissertation on disability and literature. I’d watched the film Freaks and was fascinated with the complexities of displaying your extraordinary body for money. It’s exploitative yet on the other hand it pays well and is perhaps the performer’s only way of being independent, these contradictions are shown in this novel following Coralie Sardie the daughter of the Barnum- like impresario of the museum. Coralie is an incredible swimmer and performs as the museum’s mermaid, enduring punishing all year round training in the East River every morning. It’s after one of these sessions goes wrong that Coralie is washed far upstream into the outskirts of NYC where development suddenly gives way to wild forests. There she meets Eddie Cohen who is taking pictures of the trees and hiding out from his own community, where his father’s expectation is for him to train as a tailor in the family business. Alice Hoffman weaves Eddie and Coralie’s story with real historic events like the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire, the other wonders who populate Coney Island and her particular blend of magic. 

This must appear on so many ‘best of’ lists and there’s a good reason why. I was introduced to Daphne Du Maurier very early in life through my mum who showed me the Hitchcock adaptation of the novel starring Laurence Olivier as Maxim de Wjinter and Joan Fontaine as the second Mrs de Winter. This was an incredible film and no adaptation since has come close to emulating it, although I still hold out hope for a Carey Mulligan Mrs de Winter someday. This has one of the best openings of any book with its dream of the winding drive at the Cornish home of the de Winters, Manderley setting the atmosphere perfectly. This is where ghosts and secrets lurk beneath the outwardly perfect life led by Max and his beautiful first wife Rebecca. Our  unnamed narrator is in Monte Carlo as a paid companion to an obnoxious rich woman who sees the infamous widower and an opportunity to hear some first hand gossip to take with them to their next destination. Her companion is young, quiet and under confident. She has no family and is vulnerable in a way that I’d didn’t see when I first read the book and the disparity between them is more obvious the older I get. One thing that really angers me is that Maxim doesn’t bother to remove traces of his ex-wife whose extravagant signature is emblazoned on the stationery in the morning room and her pillowcases in the untouched bedroom she occupied overlooking the sea. Also he doesn’t even consider that her upbringing is from such a different class, she has no concept of how to run a stately home and falls victim to the ghoulish Mrs Danvers, Rebecca’s old maid and now the housekeeper of Manderley. This is most definitely not a love story, it’s a mystery with a hero who is controlling and manipulative to his new wife. This is a book to re-read over and over. 

A spiteful spirit rules the roost at the home runaway slave Sethe shares with her elderly mother-in-low and daughter Denver, a ghost that haunts with a ‘baby’s venom’. It’s a million miles away from her years in slavery at Sweet Home, but she carries the damage of those years in the whip marks on her back that look like a gnarled tree. The atmosphere of this little house is set to change though as two visitors come calling; one is Paul D who was also at Sweet Home and shares so many experiences with Sethe she will have to talk about them. The second is a naked young woman who seems almost non-verbal, like a toddler in the body of a young woman. Sethe is entranced by their guest, who demands more and more of her attention pushing out Denver and trying to create a wedge between her and Paul D who has to sleep in the outhouse. Sethe believes that this girl is the embodiment of that restless spirit in the house, who has gone remarkably quiet. While Sethe becomes drained and exhausted trying to care for her new charge. What is her purpose with Sethe and why does she take the treatment meted out to her? The answers lie in a grave marked with one word – Beloved – and the unthinkable price of freedom. 

This book was the first of two featuring the Todd family and their lives across the 20th Century. Here we see the world through the eyes of the Todd’s youngest daughter Ursula, born on a snowy night in 1910. As her mother Sylvia gives birth, the cord becomes wrapped around Ursula’s neck and she dies before the doctor can even reach their home. We then loop back and Ursula survives her birth but dies from a fall as she leans from a window to retrieve her doll, or she dies by drowning as a little girl. In 1918 their maid joins the Victory Day celebrations post WWI and brings Spanish Flu to the Todd house killing Ursula at eight years old. Each loop of Ursula’s life is longer and we see more of the family’s rather upper middle class life in Chalfont St. Peter in Buckinghamshire. We notice that Ursula becomes more knowing, taking experiences from her extinguished lives to avoid that fate the next time round – at one point she remembers her death at the hands of a rapist and next time is aggressively rude to avoid his company so she lives a little longer. Later lives take Ursula into womanhood and WW2, working for the war office in London and experiencing the terrors of the Blitz, sometimes rescuing others and other times perishing underneath the rubble. Eventually she works her way close to Hitler through Eva Braun and determines to end the war by killing him. What we never know is how these lives turn out for others, as each narrative ends definitively with Ursula’s death. I loved Kate Atkinson’s bravery and playfulness in using such a complex structure and inventing a character like Ursula who is able to carry the novel on her shoulders. I’ve enjoyed other novels from the author, especially A God in Ruins where we follow the life of her brother Teddy, but there’s no question that this book is her masterpiece. 

I’ve read a few of Thomas Hardy’s novels, but something about Far From The Madding Crowd stays with me. At heart it’s a love story, with all the obstacles and diversions you’d expect from the moment shepherd Gabriel Oak turns up at Bathsheba Everdene’s door with a lamb for her to hand rear and a proposal. A proposal she refuses on the basis that she has a lot of other things she wants to do. After this a terrible misfortune befalls Gabriel as he loses his whole flock to a young sheepdog who drives them off the cliffs. However this does force him to cross paths with Bathsheba a second time when he goes for a job where the new farm owner is a woman. Bathsheba makes so many rash decisions, especially where men are concerned, but Gabriel becomes her trusted and loyal friend. As always with Hardy it’s the misfortunes that tug hard on the heartstrings: a pregnant servant girl who goes to marry her soldier lover at the wrong church, the tragic and lonely Mr. Boldwood who takes a poorly timed Valentine joke to heart and Gabriel’s faithfulness to his friend, always putting her first even when she doesn’t appreciate it. Hardy captures the headstrong and impulsive young girl beautifully and as always the rural setting is so wonderfully drawn and strangely restful to read. Having grown up on farms my whole life I understand the character’s connection to the land and the animals they care for, plus I always long for a happier ending than Hardy’s other women. 

It’s hard to pick one favourite from Jodi Picoult’s back catalogue and I have about four that I love and read again, including her most recent novel about the works of Shakespeare By Any Other Name, Small Great Things and Plain Truth. This one stayed with me, perhaps because of my late in-laws WW2 experiences and the realisation that the generation who went through the invasion of Poland first hand will one day be gone. Recording their stories is vital and although this is fiction it still has a purpose, in educating readers about the Holocaust. Ironically, it has been banned in several school districts in the US despite its message on fascism and antisemitism. It makes it all the more important to read it as well as Picoult’s other banned novels. Sage Singer is something of a recluse, working nights in her local bakery to avoid people. She wears her hair to cover a large scar across her cheek, caused by a car accident that killed her mother. Sage sees her scar as a reminder she was responsible for her mother’s death and struggles terribly with survivor’s guilt and the resulting lack of self worth. When she attends a grief therapy group she meets an elderly local man called Josef Weber, a resident of Westerbrook for forty years with his wife who has recently died. He’s known for kind acts around town, but as he and Page become friends he tells her a terrible secret. In WW2 he was a guard at Auschwitz and is responsible for the deaths of many people. He asks Sage to help him commit suicide, leaving her with a dilemma. Sage describes her self as an atheist despite coming from a religious Jewish family. Can she be friend with this man? Should she report her discovery? Should Josef be able to cheat the death God has planned for him when so many others had no choice? Picoult structures this narrative like a set of Russian dolls and the very centre is the story of Minka, Sage’s grandmother who managed to survive a concentration camp. This is the heart of the story, a survivor’s account that describes how an SS Guard allowed her rewards of food and warmth because of her incredible talent as a storyteller. This is a hard but vital read with huge dilemmas around forgiveness, the degree of bad deeds and whether all sin is the same. Are some people simply unforgivable despite their attempts to change? Is accepting earthly punishment part of forgiveness? Is killing ever justified? It is absolutely spellbinding. 

I adore the playful opening of this historical novel as our heroine addresses us and draws us in to her world, a version of London rarely examined at the time. Published in 2002, Michael Faber introduces us to Sugar who has worked in a brothel since she was thirteen. She’s creative and intelligent, scribbling down her story in the time she has between working. She’s also streetwise and determined to create a new life for herself. She meets the rather clumsy and awkward William Rackham as a client. He’s married but his wife Agnes is delicate, a fragile Victorian ideal of a wife who’s disturbed by her own bodily functions. She’s sent further into decline after the birth of their daughter, Sophie and now has no idea she is a mother. She is kept drugged in her room, with visits from the creepy Dr. Curlew whose treatment is sexual assault. The two women couldn’t be more of a contrast. Sugar believes that William might be her ticket to a new life, not that she’s in love with him of course. William is a selfish man, inadequate and under pressure to continue the success of the family soap factory, a business built by his overbearing father. He’s obsessed with Sugar and thinks he could have the object of his affections closer to home. What if he engaged Sugar as Sophie’s governess? This is an incredibly well written novel, full of detail on a grubby and exploitative part of London that Sugar navigates with practised skill, utterly reliant on her own wits. She’s a beguiling character who knows that the gentlemanly ideal is a facade and that all men are disappointing or dangerous. Watching her encroach onto William’s carefully constructed home life is fascinating and you’ll be desperately hoping that all of his women will find a way of escaping their fates. 

Posted in Personal Purchase

Her Many Faces by Nicci Cloke 

Posted on by thelotusreaders

ONE TRIAL. FIVE TRUTHS. BUT ARE THEY READY FOR HERS?

When a waitress is charged with murdering four men at an exclusive private club, her personal life and upbringing are thrust into the spotlight. During the trial, people closest to Katie start to question what they know about her.

Her father remembers the sweet schoolgirl.

Her childhood friend misses her kindness and protection.

Her lover regrets ever falling for her.

Her lawyer believes she is hiding something.

A journalist is convinced she is a cold-blooded killer.

To each of them she’s someone different. But is she guilty?

This thriller grabbed me straight away and never let go! The pace was fast, with short punchy chapters containing the narratives of five men each linked in some way to a woman called Katie. Each man has his own name for this woman and their narratives tell us her story as they see it. John is her father, Gabe is her childhood friend, Conrad is her lover, Tarun is a lawyer and Max is a journalist. Each one thinks they know her, each one presents a different face. But who is she and which is her real identity? Is she a combination of all five or nothing like this at all. It’s a timely, compelling and addictive story that you’ll want to finish in one go. 

The murder that has taken place at March House has killed four very important men at once. Lucian is a businessman and owner of March House, a private members club for the richest and most influential men in the UK and their guests. His guests that night were Harris Lowe, Lucian’s new right hand man, Dominic Ainsworth MP and Russian millionaire Aleksander Popov. They appear to have been poisoned with an incredibly expensive bottle of brandy laced with poison. Only one person has been serving the party all evening and that is waitress Katie. She is soon under arrest, but what possible motive could she have had to kill these men? Yet when police apprehend her not long after she’s left work for the evening she is reported as saying ‘they got what they deserved’. Is this an admission of guilt or an acknowledgment that whoever killed them, did the world a favour? 

It’s hard to get to know Katie because she is simultaneously a wildcat, a conspiracy theorist, a squatter, a farmhand, a waitress or the accused. These are just some of the descriptive words used to label her by the men in her life, but we have to remember that they are viewing her through their own lens. How much can we trust their impressions of her and do we accept that they’re telling the truth? She’s clearly beautiful, even without the ‘right’ clothes she has something that men desire. Conrad feels this when she’s helping out with the pigs on her uncle’s farm but then is shocked when she turns up at his club and his boss Lucien clearly desires her too. Both of them see a sex object rather than the young, troubled woman in front of them. John still sees his little girl, unable to equate the terrible crime she’s accused of with his daughter. However, we learn that she’s always been sympathetic and perhaps a little soft where his daughter is concerned whereas her mother sees her as a naughty child who grew up still getting into trouble. If anyone sees a more rounded Katie it’s her childhood friend Gabe, even if he is in love with her. She pulls him into her internet wormhole of conspiracy theories and he follows her down to London, ready for direct action to change everything that’s wrong with society. Yet when he gets there, Katie is living in a squat and has moved on in her belief system. Gabe has fallen under the spell of the elusive Mr E who appears in the comments under YouTube videos, disparaging the rich and the corruption within the system. He’s saddened to find her working at March House, the centre of online rumours about secret cabals and the ‘real’ people who run the world. He sees the Katie who had these beliefs as the real Katie and now she doesn’t believe or belong to him anymore. Similarly, Conrad sees her as this beautiful, innocent farmhand: 

“You’d taken on a hazy, pure quality, a perfume ad of a person. In the cafe you looked ordinary.” 

Every so often a book comes along that captures a moment and this definitely does. It isn’t the first book I’ve read where online radicalisation is part of the story and how dangerous it can be to become drawn in by conspiracy theorists. We tend to use the word grooming when it refers to children, but young adults and people with learning disabilities are also vulnerable and political or conspiracy theories seem to be changing the way people view the world without them even leaving the house and experiencing it for themselves. The echo chambers created when we look at certain subjects means people can be left thinking they have the majority viewpoint, no matter how crazy or extreme the ideas. Conspiracy theories are popular because it gives explanations for events that are incredibly complex and totally outside of our control. The realisation that a small group of individuals could hijack a few planes and attack the most powerful cities in the USA is almost too scary. People didn’t want to feel that their country was that vulnerable and open to attack, so they created stories that their own government must have been involved. Mr E directs his followers to March House as the real seat of power and their list of members could easily feed into that narrative. There is no doubt that some dodgy deals and introductions go on there, but the difficulties facing the country are international and much more complex than a few smoking men in a private room, but for some, life being random chaos is a scary prospect. 

At the centre of all this is Katie, a lost young woman unsure of who she is and what she wants from life. With no plan or purpose, she lurches from one crisis to the next never feeling safe or grounded. The novel made me angry, especially with Conrad and Max who want to use and exploit Katie. Conrad has the audacity to suggest his connection to her was flimsy at best: 

“I could barely even remember your real name. You had come onto me so hard, when I looked back, that in a way it was embarrassing. I was embarrassed for you”. 

I was furious and desperately wanted him pulled apart in court by her barrister Tarun. It reminded me of how women who are seen as controversial, such as Caroline Flack or the Duchess of Sussex, are presented and packaged by the media. There’s misogyny at the root of this and it’s the same with the male characters in the book who package Katie into roles and personalities that absolves them for the harm they cause and assuages their guilt. This is brilliantly done by the author who doesn’t put a foot wrong in her characterisation and the pace of this novel. It’s fast moving and she doesn’t waste a single word, keeping you gripped by what might happen next. We’re never sure on what has happened or who is responsible and the courtroom scenes are brilliant meaning it was impossible to put down – there was one late night where I completely wrote off the following day for anything useful. This is powerful and will make you angry, but you won’t be able to stop those pages turning. 

Meet the Author

Nicci Cloke is an author and editor based in Cambridgeshire. Her novels have been published in twelve languages, and she has previously worked as a nanny, a cocktail waitress and a Christmas Elf. Before being published, she was a permissions manager, looking after literary estates including those of Sylvia Plath, Ted Hughes and T. S. Eliot, and was also communications manager at the Faber Academy.

Posted in Personal Purchase

The Village by Caroline Mitchell 

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Ten years ago, the Harper family disappeared. Their deserted cottage was left with the water running, the television playing cartoons, the oven ready for baking. The doors were locked from the inside. Overnight, the sleepy village of Nighbrook became notorious as the scene of the unsolved mystery of the decade, an epicentre for ghoulish media speculation.

For crime journalist Naomi, solving the case has turned into an obsession. So now, with Ivy Cottage finally listed for sale, it’s her chance to mount an investigation like no other. And her husband and stepdaughter don’t really need to know what happened in their new home… do they? But Nighbrook isn’t quite the village she expected. No one wants to talk to her. No one will answer her questions. And as she becomes increasingly uneasy, it’s clear that the villagers are hiding something—that there is something very dark at the heart of this rural idyll. And the deeper she digs, the more it seems her investigation could be more dangerous than she ever imagined… In raking up the secrets of the past, has she made her own family the next target?

I came to this novel on the recommendation of another blogger and it’s certainly a page turner. Ivy Cottage isn’t the average house. It’s isolated from the village, tucked away in a forest clearing and inside it’s the archetypal haunted house – dated and untouched, full of cobwebs and creaking sounds. It feels like a house whose history is imprinted on the atmosphere. We also don’t know who can be trusted in this village. At first people are all smiles and welcome, so much so that Naomi takes cakes to the local cafe and the family gets to know local police officer Lloyd, who calls in to introduce himself. The tension is created by intervening chapters that delve into the past and cast doubt on characters that have seemed friendly in the present. They open up questions: why is a girl called Grace slipping out of the cottage in the dead of night and playing in the woods? Why is Lloyd watching? Is he trying to keep her safe or does he have more sinister motives for watching his ‘moonlight girl’. The author also creates disquiet in the reader with odd incidents that have no explanation. We don’t know who is responsible for locking Naomi in the attic one morning. Is her new stepdaughter Morgan resentful or actively dangerous? Who is the teenager talking to online? I found myself full of questions. 

I did have a lot of sympathy for Morgan who doesn’t seem to be such a bad kid, considering her circumstances. I found myself cross with her father Ed and Naomi for destabilising her, especially when she’s already estranged from her mother. Naomi and Ed have married in a whirlwind, then have taken Morgan from everything she knows into the middle of nowhere. They’re barely in Ivy Cottage when Ed announces he’s travelling to Scotland to track down Morgan’s mother who we’re told is an addict and has a life full of drama. It’s not hard to work out that Morgan must feel abandoned by both parents and is now stuck in this creepy house with a woman she barely knows. I felt quite angry with Naomi already, but when we realise she’s dragged her new family into her scheme to investigate the previous owners it seems positively reckless. Not even Ed knows the house’s past so Naomi has started a marriage by lying to everyone. To put a vulnerable teenager into this dangerous environment is at best selfish and at worst callous. Morgan is sullen and angry, which is understandable. When Naomi’s sister turns up she encounters Morgan wandering in the night and decides to give her a few ‘home truths’ which I found particularly spiteful. It’s no surprise that Morgan has started talking to strangers on the internet and wanders outside at night to meet new friends like Dawn, not knowing that she’s putting herself in danger. Can she trust anyone in this village? 

More tension is created by intervening chapters that delve into the past and the unusual life of a young teenage girl called Grace, part of the family who disappeared from this house. She has a very restricted life, plagued by unusual symptoms and even allergic to light. This level of control has led to her sneaking out at night and wandering through the forest, but out there she isn’t alone. Someone watches Grace and we’re not sure whether they’re benign or a danger. I’d worked out what was going on within the Harper family early on, but that’s only a small part of the mystery around Ivy Cottage and their disappearance. When Dawn asks Morgan to sneak out at night they play with an ouija board in the old church and Grace seems to speak to them. It unnerves Morgan but she’s not sure whether it’s a spectral Grace or Dawn she should be wary of. What we do realise is that there are still people lurking in the woods so Morgan and Naomi feel like sitting ducks. There are several twists and turns from here, with a double showdown coming – one for Naomi and Morgan and one in the past – it was nail-bitingly tense. I was also curious about the future of this whirlwind family if they came out of this alive. Would Ed forgive Naomi for lying to him and putting his daughter in unnecessary danger? Could they carry on living at Ivy Cottage? As the night of the Harper disappearance also unfolds I was on tenterhooks. The house was left with half-eaten food on the table as if they were spirited away with no warning. If Grace and her family came out of their ordeal alive, where are they and why did they leave the village? If they’re dead, then who is to blame? With mind games being played and a scene that may just have put me off cake, I’d have been packing my bags very quickly. I did feel there was a twist or two I didn’t need, but the author paints a brilliantly spooky atmosphere around the cottage and it’s hidden past. I didn’t know who to trust out of the villagers and my judgement was completely wrong! This was gripping and is one of those thrillers you’ll devour in a weekend.

Thomas and Mercer Jan 2022

Meet the Author

New York Times, USA Today, Washington Post and International #1 Bestselling Author. Shortlisted by the International Thriller Awards for best ebook 2017, the Killer Nashville Best Police Procedural 2018 and the Audie awards 2022. Over 1.8 million books sold.

Caroline originates from Ireland and now lives in a woodland village outside the city of Lincoln. A former police detective, she has worked in CID and specialised in roles dealing with vulnerable victims, high-risk victims of domestic abuse, and serious sexual offences. She now writes full time.

Caroline writes psychological and crime thrillers. Her stand alone thriller Silent Victim reached No.1 in the Amazon charts in the UK, USA and Australia and was the winner of the Reader’s Favourite Awards in the psychological thriller category. It has been described as ‘brilliantly gripping and deliciously creepy’.

The first in her Amy Winter series, Truth And Lies, is a New York Times bestseller and has been optioned for TV.

You can follow Caroline on:

X: https://twitter.com/Caroline_writes

Facebook: http://www.Facebook.com/CMitchellAuthor

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/caroline_writes/

Her book site: http://www.caroline-writes.com

Her digital writing courses: http://www.caroline-mitchell.com

Posted in Random Things Tours

A Complicated Woman by Rebecca Lucy Taylor aka Self Esteem 

Posted on by thelotusreaders

“I never could′ve told you anything I long for

While I was in the water swimming ‘gainst tides we′re taught to

Take it in our stride, laugh it off, take it on the chin just right

Don’t be too loud or too quiet, but I got all this fight

And now I see it clear with every passing of each year

I deserve to be here

And every time I fall, I crawl back like an animal

My focus is powerful.”

I knew I was going to love Self Esteem when I first caught her set at Glastonbury a few years ago, referencing 1990 Madonna with her black suit and corset. What made me stop and watch was that instead of the iconic John Paul Gaultier conical bra each breast was covered with the dome of Meadowhall Shopping Centre in Sheffield. At that point I didn’t know that Rebecca Lucy Taylor was born there but I could see she had a sense of humour, a sense of where she was from and had something very powerful to say as the above lyrics from her song Focus to Power show. In the intervening years Self Esteem has become a creative force with three solo albums, including A Complicated Woman this year. She had a Mercury Prize nomination for her album Prioritise Pleasure in 2022 and was the BBC Music Introducing act in 2021. She is not just a singer, she’s a multi-instrumentalist and has composed for theatre and became a West End lead in 2023/24 playing Sally Bowles in Cabaret. She’s been awarded an honorary doctorate in music from the University of Sheffield and a portrait of her hangs in the National Gallery. Now she has written a memoir, bringing together notes and lyrics, journal entries and observations on life as a woman in the 21st Century, referencing relationships, abuse, self-worth, creativity and living under the weight of the impossible expectations we impose on young women. The blurb refers to it as a ‘subversive anti-Bible’ and a ‘cathartic scream of a book’ and it is raw, emotional and so incredibly exposing. I will be buying it for my stepdaughters. 

The narrative is jagged and feels unfinished, a structure that underlines the theme of being the ‘finished’ article something that applies to both the professional and personal self. Creative work never feels fully done. I always imagined that when writing a book I would know when it was complete and I would feel satisfied that it was finished. A piece of writing is always open to change, but we have to let it go at some point and finishing is a collaborative process with mentors, agents, editors and might end up looking different to what you expected. Similarly as people we are never finished, the self is not one fixed thing and can be influenced by mood, something we watched, whether we slept well or not and interactions with others. I think we imagine as children that there’s a point where we become an adult and our self is a fixed thing, but the self is fluid and open to change until the last day we’re alive. The author writes that she wakes up knowing it’s going to be a day when her brain is against her. So out of all the options open she decides on the middle ground: 

‘Ultimately doing nothing garnished by a little of what I as a child imagined being an adult would be. A coffee in a cafe, walk to the cinema, watch an art house film alone, walk home.’ 

It’s almost a fake it till you make it idea. The self is just a raw block of clay but we still go out there, pretending to do what we think adults should.

Self Esteem at Glastonbury 2022

Toxic relationships are also a huge part of the book and it’s clear there was one in particular that was coercive and damaging. Tiny little snippets of information are dropped about him and I identified strongly with how she feels at these times. She addresses him remembering that: ‘ he made sure to take at least two pieces of jigsaw and hide them so it could finish it himself.’ It made me shiver with recognition. My heart broke for her in this paragraph: 

“I’ll never forget the first time it cracked and he became someone else. I spent that night trying to sleep on the floor and reaching back up to him in his single bed, sleeping soundly. Offering my hand over and over through the night. – And forever he held back. Each tendon in his fingers finally gracing me with tension. And in that moment the sickness in my stomach was gone and the addiction to his acceptance began.” 

She clearly spent years trying to please this person, to be enough but not too much. Enough in the right way that was acceptable to him. A rollercoaster of arguments followed by apologies to make things nice again, a blissful few weeks when he’s happy because she made herself smaller, then a withdrawal of affection, hurtful comments and arguments. It’s a place I’ve been and it only ended when I accepted I was enough, just as I was. I still feel sick to my stomach when something takes me back there and this really hit home. As she says, ‘tell me anyone who left when they should have.’ She also addresses the inevitable question of children, something women are always asked and I have noticed that I make a lot more sense to some friends now I have stepdaughters. The author wishes she could just have one, now, not because she wants one just because it would be done and people would stop asking. They ask as if you’ve forgotten to do it. There’s a point in the book though where change begins and it’s in a letter, because unsent letters have such power. It’s a letting go leaving the path clear to be whatever.

We get the sense of a person who has a huge and imaginative inner world, but is hampered by her own mind throwing out options, constantly questioning whether this or that is the right thing to do. There’s a very busy internal critic here and while the author may be an over-thinker and struggle with anxiety, I think this second-guessing herself is a habit many women have. It starts with parental pressures of what a girl should be, educational expectations influenced by gender, societal expectations of what an adult woman should want and how successful she should be. It’s as if feminism succeeded in giving women more choice, but also more expectations rather than equality. Yes of course we can have a career, but then you must go home and more than a fair share of housework, cooking, laundry and having the mental load of who eats what, which week a friend is coming to stay and an encyclopaedic knowledge of where every object belonging each family member might be found. On top of that are grooming standards, the endless opinions on whether women should age naturally or have surgery, when they should stop wearing short skirts and how to keep their sex lives spicy. No one asks a man when he’s going to fit in having a child or whether he should sacrifice his career for his family. This pressure is described beautifully here as it runs throughout the narrative alongside the extra pressures of being creative and a famous woman. Everyone talks about America Ferrarra’s speech in the Barbie film about what a woman is but I find the author’s words much more affecting as she writes a poem about herself as the woman she feels society wants her to be. A woman who eats the right things, who makes money but stays generous and humble, who is modern and desirable, but above all things maternal. It reads like a modern fairy tale.

‘I had one thousand friends and each and every one was happy with me, and felt I had given them enough time and attention’. 

It feels like slicing yourself into a thousand different pieces to be everything and keep everyone happy and they all think you’re amazing, but you’re still slicing yourself. It takes therapy, age and self-acceptance to throw off these expectations and doubts. In amongst this torrent of emotions there is a down to earth feel and a sense of humour that comes out a lot in lists – ‘things I should have said no to’ being one. There are also blunt truths that she clearly can’t say to the person but records in her diary – ‘I want to be fucked like that but not have to hear about your Edinburgh show.” I loved this directness, tempered with humour. It also shows how hard it can be for some women to say what they want and don’t want without judgement. 

She gives us an insight into how those judgements are magnified in the music industry, where you’re trying to get your creative work out there but are being told you’d sell better if you wrote a certain way or were a bit more attractive. If she’d compromised she’d have a record deal by now, she’s told, why is she so difficult? This is a tale we’ve heard again and again in the music industry but it has to keep being said till something changes. We’ve heard it from the incredible Raye who wrote for other people for years because her own stuff didn’t fit in a specific box, or Cat Burns who writes about how difficult it is to know how to be the human everyone expects. Paloma Faith is an incredible inspiration and I watched a clip of her speaking to students at the university graduation. She has delved into music, fashion, writing, broadcasting and art and she passed on an incredible bit of advice – she has always been brimming with ideas and would worry that she couldn’t fix on one way to get these thoughts and ideas out there. She remembered a conversation with one of the tutors who said she didn’t have to fit all of her ideas into one mould. One idea might be a brilliant book, rather than trying to condense it into a song but another might be better suited to fashion or art. She didn’t have to fit into one mould. I think Rebecca is the embodiment of that idea, brim full of ideas and happy to range across music gigs, theatre shows, dance, tv appearances and memoir writing. The point is the creativity, not the medium. 

I can think of so many women who can take something from this book and it will sit happily up on my shelf with writing from Caitlin Moran and Paloma Faith, hugely creative and intelligent women with a lot to say. It renewed something I’ve been wrestling with in my own head now I’m hitting menopause and middle age – it’s ok not to ‘grow up’ but take joy in every new incarnation of yourself and the changes it brings. It’s subversive in a world where we’re told we should be striving to stay young and relevant. to be unhappy getting older. I found so much inspiration in this memoir, both personal and creative, as well as a wonderful feeling of being seen. 

Posted in Personal Purchase

Venetian Vespers by John Banville

Posted on by thelotusreaders

This felt like the perfect autumn read – a sinister mystery filled with atmosphere and a slowly building sense of menace. Evelyn Dolman embarks on his honeymoon with his new wife Laura and it proves to be anything but the honeymoon he expected. The couple are greeted by servants at their lodgings, but soon the landlord of Palazzo Dioscuri is there to introduce himself and tell tales of his grand and adventurous ancestors, many of whom Evelyn suspects as figments of the Count’s imagination. Simply a tale to entertain guests. Evelyn fought hard for Laura’s hand, knowing she was far above him in terms of class and finances as he is merely a struggling writer. He’s been looking forward to getting away and as they settle into their rooms he’s sure they’ll have a successful trip. Despite his awareness of the rot and instability underneath some of the grand palazzos they saw from the vaporetto Evelyn is still dazzled by the faded beauty, the light and the history of this group of islands that make up the city. So, with Laura settling in early for the night he decides to go for a walk and perhaps a drink somewhere close by and she suggests Florian, a cafe that first opened in 1720 and still serves Venetian visitors today. A chance meeting is followed by a night of drinking and one unforgivable act. So when he wakes in the morning, sluggish and nauseous and finds his wife isn’t next to him in bed, he imagines she has taken herself to another room. However, as the morning progresses it becomes clear that Laura has simply disappeared. 

I picked this book up on a solid recommendation from the bookshop owner, he said his wife was reading it and was torn between devouring it or savouring every chapter. After reading the first couple of chapters I knew exactly how she felt. I love the city of Venice and I love fiction that is set there, particularly stories that conjure up the feel of the city. I’ve been lucky enough to visit the city twice, both times for a full week of exploring. It was the perfect holiday for me – the gothic feel of the place, the incredible architecture, the artisans creating in their workshops and the history of the islands. This is a city with a potential story round every corner. John Banville has captured this perfectly and the strange atmosphere that goes with it. Venice likes to fool you. Not just at carnival time with its costumes and masks, although there is something thrilling and terrifying about that time, this is a sleight of hand that’s in the everyday: the theatre that is actually a supermarket, a nondescript red brick church adorned with clouds and painted cherubs above the altar, it’s turning off a bustling street full of tourists into an empty piazza, devoid of sound. I think every visitor has the experience of turning into a quiet corner and knowing it’s been like this for centuries and you could have stepped into a completely different time. This idea of the city as a trickster is used cleverly by the author to wrong foot both the reader and our narrator. 

Our first strange event happens in Florian, the gilded and opulent cafe recommended by his wife. As Evelyn begins to settle in with his coffee and brandy a man approaches his table with a shout of surprise. A red haired man introduces himself as Freddie Fitzherbert and can’t believe Evelyn doesn’t recognise him, since they went to the same school. Evelyn has the conviction that he’s never seen this man before, but he seems to know Evelyn and out of politeness he allows himself to be ushered to sit with Freddie and his sister Francesca Ransome, whose charms don’t go unnoticed: 

“This enchanting creature of the heart-shaped face, lustrous eyes and invitingly intimate smile […] how deeply, warmly hued her gleaming ringlets”. 

As Evelyn is coerced into joining them at a late drinking establishment he senses he may be making a terrible mistake.

We see everything through Evelyn’s eyes and he is bluntly honest about his feelings and behaviour. He desires Cesca and once felt a similar craving for his wife, but just like this city appearances can be deceptive. Their marriage looks like a love match, but could it be sitting on gradually rotting foundations. On the night he proposed, Laura accompanied him to his rooms and there “the deed of tender initiation was at last enacted” but far from being the unknowing virgin he expected, his fiance knew the deed and proved more experienced in it than him. She was also eager to participate: 

“To say it plainly her deft embraces and practised kisses were such as to leave me gasping less in ecstasy than astonishment, even dismay.” 

Despite his own initiations that were paid for in a certain type of establishment, he resents hers. Despite the passion, he doesn’t feel he fully possessed Laura. She felt absent to him but the night was never discussed or repeated. Even since the marriage Laura had shown no indication of being receptive to his advances and he is beginning to think that the carnal side of their relationship is over. As he returns to the palazzo, so drunk he is accompanied by Cesca, he is so full of alcohol and lust that he is on course to act in a way that is unforgivable. When he wakes, foggy and nauseous the next morning, it takes a few moments to remember the night before. Once reality hits he searches their rooms and the rest of the palazzo for his wife but he can find no trace of her. Did she leave? Has she gone to a hotel to cool off for a while? Or did more transpire last night than he remembers? 

Caffe Florian 2013

This is a mystery as labyrinthine as the city itself and despite having only one narrator we are left with so many questions. There’s a vagueness about every detail that could be an adherence to social etiquette but could also be deliberate. Evelyn seems easily pulled into harms way and claims to feel utterly detached from his wrongdoing. It’s as if he’s too weak to be autonomous or stick to his principles, or he could be trying to fool us. Despite claiming not to recognise Freddie he was easily swayed to go late night drinking with them and even secures them rooms at the Palazzo Dioscuri when their lodgings on Guidecca need to be vacated. He claims to be bewitched by his wife’s dark haired beauty but very quickly switches interest to Cesca. Could he really be this callous? It seems our narrator is not to be trusted and he’s not alone. Count Barbarigo drifts in and out at will, with long fantastical stories of his ancestors that must be false. Cesca is very enigmatic, seductive one moment and pulling back the next. Where is her husband? What does she expect from Evelyn? We get the feeling that everyone is behaving oddly as if there’s something else going on just out of Evelyn’s sight. As Freddie and Cesca join the palazzo the Count provides a lunch for his guests, a gathering Evelyn refers to as a Mad Hatter’s party and it’s an apt description of this strange assortment of strangers. He notices the servants are sitting with the guests. He gets the sense of watching a play unfold in front of him, with everyone playing their part but something feels ‘off’. To me it felt like the house of misrule where the usual social order is being turned on its head. Not to mention Laura is still nowhere to be found. 

Doubling is also a theme, with Laura seeming to be the quiet, ideal wife but she has this unexpected sexual past. Cesca is pointed out as Laura’s double by the count, with the only difference being her hair colour. Evelyn even wishes his wife was more like Cesca. She does admit to her dual nature and even likens it to the city. 

“You will get used to the pantomime that Venice makes of life.” 

The reference to pantomime again brought up that twelfth night sense of misrule, where women are principal boys and men are the pantomime dames. Cesca claims that the venality of Venice makes her feel like the essence of respectability. Evelyn flirts around this statement, wondering about her respectability elsewhere in the world also wishing to be a wilder version of himself. He bemoans his character, wishing that Cesca could see this other self that’s the perfect fit for Venice in all its elusiveness and deceit.

“Wherever I end up I will still be Evelyn Dolman, a northerner born and bred, utterly un- Venetian.” 

He wishes for the ability to be a wild rover like Freddie, tied down by no one and no principle or creed either. This part of him longs for Casanova levels of debauchery, but as leans his head against the damp wall of the palazzo he longs for his tidy house in Chiswick and the smell of furniture polish. Will this suburban, safe Evelyn win the day or will he allow his darker, shadow self to control his actions? 

There are clues to what is transpiring here but they are subtle. The writer has incredible sleight of hand and they seem inconsequential or at list explicable. Some completely passed me by. As I opened the book again for writing this review it made me think of The Sixth Sense and how no one saw the clues on their first watch of the film but when they watched for a second time they couldn’t believe they’d missed them. Each character is slippery and elusive with an unpredictable quality that felt dangerous. I lived this uncanny feeling the author created which grows organically from the city. This is a sparking jewel of a city that’s risen from the mud and brackish waters of the lagoon. Evelyn mentions the fin de siécle, that time of decadence towards the end of the 19th Century and that timing certainly informs some of the events in the book, particularly the fluid social order and sexual licentiousness. We’re told constantly that Venice is decaying and sinking. One day it may be completely under water, but the decay isn’t what you see when you first visit. Venice bewitches you with its golden domes, Morrison arches, coloured glass and the way sparkling light from the surface of the water bathes everything in a soft light. Then suddenly, only a street away you notice a tree growing out of someone’s house and at night most residences seem in darkness now that families can no longer live in the water logged lower floors. Banville captures this ‘double’ city utterly, describing the timeless romance of a gondolier serenading his passengers but also the jarring sound of the vaporetto. We see the sparkling water but also smell the mud as the passing boats churn it up. He links this duality with human nature, our surface selves and the real us, even the parts we avoid and keep locked away. Everything about this novel is a conjuring trick and I fell head over heels in love with it. 

Meet the Author

John Banville was born in Wexford, Ireland, in 1945. He is the author of thirteen previous novels including The Book of Evidence, which was shortlisted for the 1989 Booker Prize. He has received a literary award from the Lannan Foundation. He lives in Dublin.