Author: thelotusreaders

Hello, I am Hayley and I run Lotus Writing Therapy and The Lotus Readers blog. I am a counsellor, workshop facilitator and avid reader.
Posted in Personal Purchase

Fifty Minutes by Carla Jenkins 

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Therapy was meant to solve her problems, not make them worse…

Smart twenty-year-old Dani is desperate to overcome her eating disorder, leave her dead-end job and return to her hard-won place at university. Using her limited earnings, she decides to start seeing a psychotherapist.

Richard Goode is educated, sophisticated and worldly-everything Dani aspires to be. As he intuitively unpicks her self-loathing, Dani assumes the fantasies she’s developing about him live only in her head. That is, until things take a shocking turn…

Descending into a maelstrom of twisted desire, manipulation and mistrust, the power struggle between Dani and Richard escalates until she’s forced to make a decision that might finally give her the freedom she deserves.

Dani has hit rock bottom. Her eating disorder is out of control and her declining mental health has meant suspending her place at university where she was studying English Literature. She’s now living in a flat with her sister Jo and her boyfriend Stevie, having to share with his daughter Ellie when she’s there for weekends. She’s working as a pot-washer to pay the bills, but longs to go back to university. Despite having very little money, she decides to see a therapist and has a session with Richard. She feels at home in Richard’s room, in the quiet with the smell of books and furniture polish. She feels like he listens and he seems perceptive, noticing her low self-esteem and anxiety. So she takes the decision to continue therapy with him, although he’s expensive. She starts to feel more positive, greatly reducing her bingeing and purging cycle. 

This was a setting I was very familiar with and although Richard has all the right certificates, counselling spiel and does detect Dani’s self-loathing, I kept feeling something wasn’t right. I couldn’t pinpoint anything in detail but I was concerned for Dani. She is so vulnerable. Her attraction to him wasn’t surprising. To have a man listen and understand her might be a first. He also embodies all the things she wants for her own life; qualifications, respect from others, a better standard of living. She has attachment issues so I was sure Richard would have expected some element of transference to creep into the relationship. I was also unsure about Dani’s home life. Her sister’s boyfriend, Stevie, seems like he’s easy going, tv loving, stay at home partner. He’s a good dad to Ellie, but with Dani I wondered if he wasn’t overstepping the mark. He likes things kept neat and tidy, the rent paid on time and Ellie to be safe and happy. There are a couple of occasions when he goes in quite hard on Dani for not being fit for work in the morning or for leaving her room in a state. I wasn’t sure whether this was concern or control? The author cleverly makes the reader unsure and with Dani in such a vulnerable place I was on high alert, like a mum of fledgling baby birds.

The author also keeps us unsure about Dani, not in the sense of believing her narrative, but as to whether she can genuinely break out of the cycle she’s in. As the book begins she’s still bingeing and purging as a means of managing her emotions, in fact this process is like a metaphor for how she manages her whole life. She wants her needs met, to feel emotionally filled or satiated. Then she needs to rid herself of it, to push it away before it gets taken away perhaps? She longs to be loved, but self-sabotages; something that Richard is very aware of and points out. Neither of the sisters have had that feeling of being loved or that they can feel safe within it, sure it won’t be taken away. They have been, at the very least, neglected by both parents. The girls are close, but are not as bonded as sisters can be within a loving family. There are times when Jo acts without realising what effect that behaviour might have on Dani. Thank goodness for Pat from work, who is steadfast in her care of Dani. Even in a complete crisis it is Pat who’s there for her, not her sister who’s busy making her own mistakes. Even when she’s been rebuffed or Dani has lashed out, Pat gives consistent care in a very motherly way and we see that best when Dani is ill. Dani doesn’t know she is beautiful. She knows men are attracted to her red hair and blue eyes, but never knows deep down that she’s worth anything. Besides, it’s always desire rather than love and care. However, she is adamant that she wants more from life. She wants to get better and study again. She knows this will help her get a better future, but she also thinks she’ll gain respect from others. She says that education is the only thing that can’t be taken away from her. I really understood that. 

The attraction to Richard is so complicated, but is bound up in her wanting a better life. There is an initial jolt of chemistry too. It’s something that should be talked about in the room, using the transference to work on Dani’s real needs for affection and worth. There is also counter-transference and both should be easy to recognise by a therapist who has Richard’s level of experience. She loves the way he reinforces her positive behaviours and finds ways forward, but she doesn’t realise she’s doing the work. He’s guiding her, but the achievements are hers. The author places clever little ‘lightbulb’ moments, such as Dani realising the picture she has of Richard in her mind, where he’s sitting in an armchair reading by lamplight, is actually an amalgam of an image she has of her father. It’s also very telling that when she’s sees him in casual rather than professional clothing, she feels let down and that attraction fades. It’s interesting that as boundaries start to break down, the last person she wants to confide in are Pat and Stevie, suggesting that she sees them as parental figures in her life. She knows if she tells them that they’d be angry and she wants to avoid that. She doesn’t like them being angry with her, but also they’d be angry on her behalf and might demand action. I thought it was interesting that she recognises Stevie in a parental role, when talking to her sister. Jo complains that he’s a homebody and they don’t really have fun together any more, but Dani points out that Stevie has always been a homebody. She tells her that this is the type of man she needs, even conceding that when he gets cross she doesn’t mind because at least he cares. 

Of course as counselling boundaries start to be overturned Dani starts to spiral. It’s a really tough part to read, because I was feeling parental towards her. She puts herself in some incredibly dangerous situations, trying to find experiences that fulfil her needs. I was hoping that she’d realise she’d pressed the self-destruct button before it was too late. She has the resources to succeed, but can she utilise them when she feels so unstable? Honestly, my heart ached for this girl and that tells you a lot about my issues with clients! I wished she’d gone to a female counsellor. She needed that female nurturing, a mother’s care and love. When it comes to a need and parents like Dani’s the only answer is to choose our family. There are further behaviours and revelations I won’t go into for fear of ruining the suspense and eventual outcome, but I was genuinely scared that Dani couldn’t pull back from the mess she was in. When someone has listened to your innermost thoughts they are a formidable agent for change and an even more powerful opponent. I had everything crossed that I’d underestimated Dani and that she could find those reserves to get through to the other side. This was a fantastic debut novel, full of suspense and stirring the emotions of the reader with real finesse. 

Out now from Trapeze Books

Posted in Travel Fiction

Summer Holiday Reads: The Greek Islands

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Classics

Three classic tales of childhood on an island paradise – My Family and Other Animals, Birds, Beasts and Relatives and The Garden of the Gods by Gerald Durrell – make up The Corfu Trilogy.

Just before the Second World War the Durrell family decamped to the glorious, sun-soaked island of Corfu where the youngest of the four children, ten-year-old Gerald, discovered his passion for animals: toads and tortoises, bats and butterflies, scorpions and octopuses. Through glorious silver-green olive groves and across brilliant-white beaches Gerry pursued his obsession . . . causing hilarity and mayhem in his ever-tolerant family. This book is joyous and has the reputation of being the only book my brother loved. The Durrells are gloriously eccentric and this trilogy transports you to Corfu so well it’s like taking a holiday.

It is 1941 and Captain Antonio Corelli, a young Italian officer, is posted to the Greek island of Cephallonia as part of the occupying forces. At first he is ostracised by the locals but over time he proves himself to be civilised, humorous – and a consummate musician.

When Pelagia, the local doctor’s daughter, finds her letters to her fiancé go unanswered, Antonio and Pelagia draw close and the working of the eternal triangle seems inevitable. But can this fragile love survive as a war of bestial savagery gets closer and the lines are drawn between invader and defender? Forget the awful film, in which barely anyone was Greek, and pick this up if you haven’t already. Not only is it a great chronicle of WW2 in Greece, but it is a touchingly beautiful love story you’ll want to read again.

‘That summer we bought big straw hats. Maria’s had cherries around the rim, Infanta’s had forget-me-nots, and mine had poppies as red as fire. . .’

I read a recent review where Three Summers was touted as a Greek I Capture The Castle and that draws me in straight away. This is a warm and tender tale of three sisters growing up in the countryside near Athens before the Second World War. Living in a ramshackle old house with their divorced mother are flirtatious, hot-headed Maria, beautiful but distant Infanta, and dreamy and rebellious Katerina, through whose eyes the story is mostly observed. Over three summers, the girls share and keep secrets, fall in and out of love, try to understand the strange ways of adults and decide what kind of adults they hope to become. A beautiful story of growing up, sisterhood and first love.

Retold Myths

Now that all the others have run out of air, it’s my turn to do a little story-making . . . So I’ll spin my own thread.

Penelope. Immortalised in legend and Greek myth as the devoted wife of the glorious Odysseus, silently weaving and unpicking and weaving again as she waits for her husband’s return from the Trojan war. 

Now Penelope wanders the underworld, spinning a different kind of thread: her own side of the story – a tale of lust, greed and murder. This is one of the first novels to write back to Greek Myth, to tell the story of a sidelined character in the tale of Odysseus. Atwood tells a tale of the Trojan War from a feminist perspective, looking through the eyes of Penelope who has no action or agency in the original myth, only appearing as the dutiful wife.

‘So to mortal men, we are monsters. Because of our flight, our strength. They fear us, so they call us monsters’

Medusa is so hard done to who acts like a cautionary tale about the meddling Greek gods. Medusa is the sole mortal in a family of gods. Growing up with her Gorgon sisters, she begins to realize that she is the only one who experiences change, the only one who can be hurt.

When Poseidon commits an unforgiveable act against Medusa in the temple of Athene, the goddess takes her revenge where she can: on his victim. Medusa is changed forever – writhing snakes for hair and her gaze now turns any living creature to stone. She can look at nothing without destroying it.

Desperate to protect her beloved sisters, Medusa condemns herself to a life of shadows. Until Perseus embarks upon a quest to fetch the head of a Gorgon . . .

After ten blood-filled years, the war is over. Troy lies in smoking ruins as the victorious Greeks fill their ships with the spoils of battle.

Alongside the treasures looted are the many Trojan women captured by the Greeks – among them the legendary prophetess Cassandra, and her watchful maid, Ritsa. Enslaved as concubine – war-wife – to King Agamemnon, Cassandra is plagued by visions of his death – and her own – while Ritsa is forced to bear witness to both Cassandra’s frenzies and the horrors to come.

Meanwhile, awaiting the fleet’s return is Queen Clytemnestra, vengeful wife of Agamemnon. Heart-shattered by her husband’s choice to sacrifice their eldest daughter to the gods in exchange for a fair wind to Troy, she has spent this long decade plotting retribution, in a palace haunted by child-ghosts.

As one wife journeys toward the other, united by the vision of Agamemnon’s death, one thing is certain: this long-awaited homecoming will change everyone’s fates forever. This is a brilliant retelling of a myth we know so well and the reality of war from a female perspective.

Crime Fiction

Mykonos had always had a romantic reputation, until the body of a female tourist was found on a pile of bones under the floor of amountain church. The island’s new police chief starts finding bodies, bones and suspects almost everywhere he looks. This thriller has a great atmosphere, is perfect for readers who love a good mystery and also Greek legends, which the author weaves throughout her story. The reader is firmly on the side of the heroine, trying desperately to escape her fate. You will also be rooting for Inspector Kaldis, who was recently demoted from Athens to the isle of Mykonos. He’s trying to avoid the political pitfalls on the island as he pursues the Killer, whose identity is not revealed until the end of the story. This is a fun one for the reader to speculate on as the action builds to a nail-biting climax. Highly enjoyable and addictive.

SOMEONE’S POISONING PARADISE

Detective Inspector Jack Dawes is travelling to a tiny Greek island with wife Corinne, ready for a bit of sun, sea and sand.

However, one of their fellow travellers is a ruthless killer.
When a storm destroys the island’s primitive communications, cutting it off from civilisation, people begin to panic. One victim is poisoned, followed swiftly by another. Then a woman is found in a grotto to St Sophia, the island’s patron saint. She is badly beaten. It feels as if the island’s visitors are being picked off one by one. Can Jack uncover the truth before the killer ups the ante?

Who will return home — and who will be sacrificed to the island?

Historical Fiction

It’s May 1941, when the island of Crete is invaded by paratroopers from the air. After a lengthy fight, thousands of British and Commonwealth soldiers are forced to take to the hills or become escaping PoWs, sheltered by the Cretan villagers.

Sixty years later, Lois West and her young son, Alex, invite feisty Great Aunt Pen to a special eighty-fifth birthday celebration on Crete, knowing she has not been back there since the war. Penelope George – formerly Giorgidiou – is reluctant, but is persuaded by the fact it is the 60th anniversary of the Battle. It is time for her to return and make the journey she never thought she’d dare to. On the outward voyage from Athens, she relives her experiences in the city from her early years as a trainee nurse to those last dark days stranded on the island, the last female foreigner.

When word spreads of her visit, and old Cretan friends and family come to greet her, Lois and Alex are caught up in her epic pilgrimage and the journey which leads her to a reunion with the friend she thought she had lost forever – and the truth behind a secret buried deep in the past…

Victoria Hislop is the Queen of fiction set on the Greek Islands, ever since her book The Island

25th August 1957. The island of Spinalonga closes its leper colony. And a moment of violence has devastating consequences.

When time stops dead for Maria Petrakis and her sister, Anna, two families splinter apart and, for the people of Plaka, the closure of Spinalonga is forever coloured with tragedy.

In the aftermath, the question of how to resume life looms large. Stigma and scandal need to be confronted and somehow, for those impacted, a future built from the ruins of the past.

Victoria Hislop returns to the world and characters she created in The Island – the award-winning novel where we first met Anna, Maria, Manolis and Andreas in the weeks leading up to the evacuation of the island… and beyond. Alexis Fielding longs to find out about her mother’s past. But Sofia has never spoken of it. All she admits to is growing up in a small Cretan village before moving to London. When Alexis decides to visit Crete, however, Sofia gives her daughter a letter to take to an old friend, and promises that through her she will learn more. 

Arriving in Plaka, Alexis is astonished to see that it lies a stone’s throw from the tiny, deserted island of Spinalonga – Greece’s former leper colony. Then she finds Fotini, and at last hears the story that Sofia has buried all her life: the tale of her great-grandmother Eleni and her daughters and a family rent by tragedy, war and passion. She discovers how intimately she is connected with the island, and how secrecy holds them all in its powerful grip…

In The Figurine we are taken beneath the dust sheets in the Athens apartment that Helena McCloud has inherited from her grandparents, There she discovers a hidden hoard of rare antiquities, amassed during a dark period in Greek history when the city and its people were gripped by a brutal military dictatorship.

Helena’s fascination for archaeology, ignited by a summer spent on a dig on an Aegean island, tells her that she must return these precious artefacts to their rightful place. Only then will she be able to allay the darkness of the past and find the true meaning of home – for cultural treasures and for herself.

It seems crazy to think of the 1960s as a historical era, but it is now 60 years ago! In this dreamy and bohemian novel, Erica is eighteen and ready for freedom. It’s the summer of 1960 when she lands on the sun-baked Greek island of Hydra and is swept up in a circle of bohemian poets, painters, musicians, writers and artists, living tangled lives. Life on their island paradise is heady, dream-like, a string of seemingly endless summer days. But nothing can last forever.

Romance and Self-Love

Set on the breathtaking island of Andros, The Jasmine Isle is one of the finest literary achievements in contemporary Greek literature. Mina Saltaferou is the despotic wife of a ship’s captain, Savvas Saltaferos. Her tyrannical influence over her two daughters is unquestionable and unrelenting, like nature itself. Tragedy becomes inevitable when Mina’s beautiful, eldest daughter, Orsa, is sentenced by her mother to marry a man she doesn’t love and watch as the man she does love weds another.

I love a family saga and this one spans half a century in the history of modern Greece, this novel explores the solace and joy women find in each other’s company during the insufferably long absences of their husbands, sons, and lovers. The story alternates between descriptions of domestic life and evocations of the world’s seas and ports, as it follows both the men who embark on voyages lasting months and the lives of the women who remain behind

Calli’s world has fallen apart – her relationship is suddenly over and her chances of starting a family are gone. So when she’s sent to write a magazine article about the Greek island of Ikaria, it seems the perfect escape.

Travelling to Crete, where her family is from, Calli soon realizes there is more to discover than paradise beaches and friendly locals. When her aunt Froso begins to share the story of her own teenage heartache, will the love, betrayal and revenge she reveals change Calli’s life forever?

As a young woman, Helena spent a magical holiday at Pandora, a beautiful house in Cyprus – and fell in love for the first time. Now, twenty-four years later and following the loss of her godfather, she has inherited Pandora. And, though it is a crumbling shadow of its former self, Helena returns with her family to spend the summer there.

When, by chance, Helena meets her childhood sweetheart, her past threatens to collide with her present. She knows that the idyllic beauty of Pandora masks a web of secrets that she has kept from her husband and thirteen-year-old son. And that, once its secrets have been revealed, their lives will never be the same . . .

Sophie Keech has it all. A new life in Greece with a handsome man enables Sophie to leave her mundane job and her estranged mum. But four years on, a domineering mother-in-law to be and the reality of living in Greece not being what Sophie imagined, strains her relationship with Alekos. 

When her mum is involved in an accident, Sophie jumps at the chance to escape. Time to reassess her life and make amends is sorely needed. Yet an attraction to a good looking and newly divorced man, and a shock discovery, complicates things.

Can Sophie and Alekos’ love survive the distance?

Can one house hold a lifetime of secrets?

Corfu, 1930, the moment Thirza Caruthers sets foot on Corfu, memories flood back: the scent of jasmine, the green shutters of her family’s home ― and her brother Billy’s tragic disappearance years before. Returning to the Greek house, high above clear blue waters, Thirza tries to escape by immersing herself in painting ― and a passionate affair. But as webs of love, envy, and betrayal tighten around the family, buried secrets surface, is it finally time to uncover the truth about Billy’s vanishing?

New To Look Forward To.

Could discovering a family secret encourage Kat to follow her heart?

Shattered by the sudden loss of her twin, Nik, Kat is lost in grief. The comfort of family feels both soothing and suffocating, but everything changes when she inherits a house on the breathtaking Greek island of Agistri from a mysterious uncle she’s never met.

Arriving on Agistri, Kat is mesmerized by its crystalline waters, lush pine forests, and the citrus-scented air. Among the white-washed houses and warm, welcoming locals, she begins to feel her heart heal. The island offers more than solace, sparking courage in Kat to face her loss — and maybe even embrace the spark of unexpected love…

But as she unearths her family’s buried past, Kat must also confront her own fears of belonging, forgiveness — and the possibility of rediscovering happiness in the shadow of heartbreak…

Posted in Personal Purchase

Eighteen Seconds by Louise Beech

Posted on by thelotusreaders

My mother once said to me, ‘I wish you could feel the way I do for eighteen seconds. Just eighteen seconds, so you’d know how awful it is.’

I was reading this raw and painful memoir to discuss at my local book club Pudding and Pages. Sadly, my health wasn’t great that day and I wasn’t able to go. So I decided to tell all of you about it instead, because I love Louise’s writing and I identified very strongly with some of her experiences. This is such a psychologically astute story, from someone who has done a lot of work on their childhood trauma, even while being traumatised anew with the shock that comes on an ordinary morning. Normally, Louise would take her children to school and then have a walk along the path at the side of the River Humber and underneath the bridge itself. Her husband asks if she will take her walk earlier than normal as he has a package being delivered later and needs her to be home. She agrees, completing her walk earlier than usual, and returning home to a call from one of her sisters. Their mother has thrown herself off the Humber Bridge, it’s only by changing her schedule that Louise didn’t witness it. This call hits the reader like a punch to the gut and I’m sure that’s how she must have felt. If you’ve ever had a similar call you’ll know it hard to communicate the force of that moment. Your mind is still at home holding the phone while your body is grabbing the car keys and scrambling to reach A+E as soon as possible. 

Honestly, the siblings are shocked to find their mother alive when they reach the hospital. She landed, not in the water but on the path, causing multiple broken bones, internal bleeding and head injuries. As they navigate those first few hours Louise contrasts them with inserts that are flashbacks to their childhood. Their mum’s first suicide attempt flashes through her mind. The three girls were placed with grandma for several month, but Baby Colin had to be taken into foster care. Although losing their mum was terrifying for Louise’s younger twin sisters it must have been desperately traumatic for Colin who lost his whole family that day. She describes these months with grandma as the safest and most loved she ever felt. Their return to their mother heralded the worst years of their childhood, the abuse ranged from neglect to prioritising her own needs and emotions over that of her children. New relationships always came first, placing them in grave danger as she plunged headfirst into alcoholism. For Louise, as the eldest, it meant being a second mum to the other three while mum partied. In a way Louise became the identified problem of the family – she’s miserable, no fun and constantly moaning according to her mother and her male friends. It was an immense struggle to keep the younger ones happy, especially the girls who worried every time the door closed that their mother would ever come back. The didn’t know she was choosing to be in the pub. Louise’s attempts to get her mother to see what effect her alcoholism was having on the twins were met with either silence or insults, depending on which friend was drinking with her at the time. She just wants her mum to be responsible for her own children. 

This is such a hard read in parts but it isn’t without humour and hope. Once her mum is recovered enough to talk again, her sense of humour is restored and she is remarkably charming when she wants to be. I loved how the siblings handled her, with a patience and humour she barely deserves at times. I loved the sibling’s family WhatsApp group, including their Uncle Edwin who’s in Australia. Their ability to share gallows humour, even in the worst of circumstances reminded me a little of my family. Their discussions about her underwear and accusing Colin of sneaking it away, descends into uproar when he tells them it looks better on him. ‘Well you haven’t seen it on Edwin’, one of his sister’s hits back. My family and I used gallows humour all the time when my husband was dying. From my own experience I recognised the bulldozing that happens in MDT Discharge meetings, where everyone is agreeing to a plan you haven’t said yes to. Once I was told by an NHS Continuing Care nurse that my opinion didn’t really count because I wasn’t a nurse. No consideration to the fact that the care was happening in my house and I was the only full-time carer. In fact I was carrying out medical tasks such as pump feeding, suction and catheterising, so to all intents and purposes I was nursing him. The horror of realising there was nowhere for my husband to die broke me, because he didn’t have cancer so couldn’t go to a hospice. He wanted to come home but I couldn’t do it alone, Louise writes about similar issues in a very matter of fact way, because that’s the only way to be at times like this – blunt and forthright. Then in between the family uses humour to deal with a hurt that can’t heal and can’t change. 

I read this at a difficult time for my family, because my mum and her two sisters are dealing with care for my 90 year old grandmother, who has been a very difficult woman. My mum has felt completely overlooked by her mother, often left out of decisions or not considered when it comes to family memories or possessions. As the only daughter with any memory of her grandma (always referred to as Mother) she had hoped to be given her engagement ring when the time came, with her sisters receiving the wedding and engagement ring of their own mum. She was really upset to find her middle sister had been given Mother’s ring, with the other two going to her youngest sister. It wasn’t the item as much as the memory, not helped by my grandma saying ‘well the others really wanted them and I knew you wouldn’t make a fuss’. This total lack of consideration opened a Pandora’s box of hurt, including a terrible decision made when the family returned from a spell in Australia in the late 1960s. Having to accept housing away from their home city of Liverpool, they settled in Scunthorpe but both of my grandparents needed to work. My mother was twelve and her two sisters were pre-school age, so my grandma didn’t register my mum for school and left her at home caring for the younger children. This lack of education was devastating for my mum who felt like she was sacrificed for the good of her sisters and also felt ashamed that she had few qualifications. It affected her opportunities but also her confidence, leading to life long mental health issues. Despite this my mum shows incredible intelligence, is well-read and has had a lot of psychotherapy. I think that at the age of 72 she is very in touch with her authentic self and knows that she needs to ration the time spent with her mother, place careful boundaries around herself and us and accept a relationship that’s very one sided. I recognised a lot of my mum in Louise’s personal growth and that motherly relationship with her younger siblings. This book made me realise there are families like ours where intergenerational trauma is a very real part of life. I think the book holds out a lot of hope that with boundaries, solid friendships, somewhere to express the negative emotions and a lot of humour it’s possible to survive narcissistic parenting. Lastly, I admire Louise’s honesty and openness in writing this memoir so beautifully and I hope it has proved both cathartic and healing for her too.

Meet the Author

Louise Beech lives in East Yorkshire and grew up dreaming of being a writer but it took many years and many rejections for her to finally get a book deal in 2015, aged 44. Her debut, How to be Brave, got to No4 on Amazon and was a Guardian Readers’ Pick; Maria in the Moon was described as ‘quirky, darkly comic and heartfelt’ by the Sunday Mirror; The Lion Tamer Who Lost was shortlisted for the Popular Romantic Novel of 2019 at the RNA Awards and longlisted for the Polari Prize 2019; Call Me Star Girl was Best magazine’s Book of the Year 2019; I Am Dust was a Crime MagazineMonthly Pick; and This Is How We Are Human was a Clare Mackintosh Book Club pick. In 2023 her new novel, End of Story, will be published under the pen name Louise Swanson. Louise regularly writes short stories for magazines, blogs, and talks at universities and literary events.

Posted in Netgalley

The Stars and Their Light by Olivia Hawker 

Posted on by thelotusreaders

I was instantly fascinated with the subject matter of this book – the 1947 Roswell Incident in New Mexico. As any good X-Files fan knows this was the most famous potential UFO sighting in history. An unidentified craft lands in a field and local workers find objects they can’t identify. There are witnesses too who can’t explain what they’ve seen, even though the government claims it’s merely a stray weather balloon. This felt very pertinent at a time when unexplained phenomena, particularly in the USA, are once again giving rise to conspiracy theories such as the Blue Beam Project. Here we meet Betty Campbell whose father Roger is based at Roswell and brings home an object from the landing site. Roger and his friend Harvey Day have been on the recovery team and are shocked by what they found. Both men served in WW2 so they’ve seen action, but this has Roger so confused he goes against orders and takes a fragment home to his family. However, when his daughter Betty handles it, she develops stigmata. Lured by a possible miracle the Catholic Church sends Sister Mary Agnes to stay at a local convent and investigate this apparent miracle. 

This book was different to anything I’ve read before, but was a combination of many genres I love to read – science fiction, historical fiction and family drama. Sister Agnes is part of a local cloistered order, but here she will act as their PR in a way, liaising with local people and being the supportive face of the order. She is certainly the only person supporting the Campbell family, as Roger’s superiors start to shut down speculation. Betty is being ostracised in town and desperately needs a friend. She’s scared, confused and lonely. There are complex emotional matters here, such as how we cope when something we’ve seen surpasses our own understanding or clashes with our faith. There’s a loss of belonging – whether it be to the army, the church or a social group. I thought the interactions between Betty and Mary Anne were full of a yearning to understand and cope with a faith that might waver in the face of unexpected evidence. The clash between the Catholic Church and this encounter with the unknown is an almighty one, but it’s also a clash between the patriarchy and a young girl deemed ‘not holy enough’ to be visited by a miracle according to the bishops who come to witness the stigmata. If it isn’t a miracle what exactly is it? When the church maintains their stance that what’s above our world is heaven and the earth and all it inhabitants were all made over seven days, it seems reasonable to ask who made the other planets? Not to mention the galaxies beyond. Is Betty being punished or rewarded with this miracle? Especially when she discloses that her chosen course of study at college was going to be astrophysics. The church’s attitude is about trying to keep the status quo. Readers who have a faith or who are unable to stretch their mind beyond the established narrative on UFO sightings, might find the novel’s tone disrespectful but I quite enjoyed the anti-establishment feeling.

I would categorise the book as historical fiction more than sci-fi because it’s exploration of attitudes as they were at the time is the central theme of the book. It doesn’t take the UFO story forward or leap into alien worlds. The church’s role and attitudes were specific to the time period too, a plan of shutting down the claims and gossip to keep the church’s current role and influence in the community. Now poor Betty’s plight would be all over Facebook in seconds. I thought the characters, particularly Betty and Mary Anne were well written and felt very real. Their interactions were authentic and rooted within a desire to help. It’s a slow but utterly unique story that I felt fully explored such an unprecedented experience and the way people were affected by it. The author’s note at the back is an absolute mine of information about Roswell and the historical documentation on the event. We’re also told about the author’s own experiences, which show how she’s managed to write these characters and experience with such authenticity. This was different to sci-fi because it focused on the earth and human interaction with a UFO experience, as well as the response of powerful institutions whose first instinct is to reinforce the existing belief systems and behaviours. I felt that Mary Anne and Betty’s relationship almost existed outside that and became a therapeutic relationship for both concerned. This was unusual, interesting and made me think about my beliefs and how I’d come to hold them.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

Meet the Author

Olivia Hawker is the pen name of American author Libbie Grant. Olivia writes historical “book club” fiction, for which she has appeared on the Washington Post bestseller list and has been a finalist for the Washington State Book Award and the Willa Literary Award. Her novel One for the Blackbird, One for the Crow, a favorite of readers around the world, was among Amazon’s Top 100 Bestselling Books of 2020. Under her real name, she writes literary fiction, and—via her podcast, Future Saint of a New Era—experiments with modern storytelling techniques that transcend the limitations of the printed word. A permanent resident of Canada, she divides her time between Victoria, BC and the San Juan Islands of Washington State. For more information, please visit hawkerbooks.com.

Posted in Throwback Thursday

The Thin Place by C.D.Major 

Posted on by thelotusreaders

I have a fascination for the idea of ‘thin places’ – where there’s only a thin veil between our world and the spirit world, or possibly passages to another time or dimension. I am swayed towards the idea that it’s where something traumatic happened and left an imprint on a place, so that however much time passes, the events of that day can break through and be replayed almost like an echo of the original event through time. Ava Brent is a journalist who is investigating one such place. The Overtoun Estate is a strange and looming presence over town and no one seems to know it’s specific history, but it’s rumoured to be a thin place, steeped in myth. The legend is about a bridge where it’s claimed many dogs have thrown themselves to their deaths. The locals steer clear and when Ava begins to ask questions the warm welcome she received at first becomes a cold shoulder. When she discovers that a sick young girl lived there, the sadness that surrounds the building starts to make sense. Ava is expecting her first child so is maybe susceptible to this tale, but a message scratched into a windowsill  fills her with horror. What happened here and is she really prepared for what she may discover? What might her fascination with this place cost? As her life begins to unravel, she knows she should cut her losses and walk away. Then threats start to arise, but Ava can’t deny that despite the fear she is compelled to return. 

This was an excellent slow burn gothic novel from an author that was completely new to me. I am interested in tales of motherhood and the paranormal, brought to my attention at university where I was influenced by Frankenstein and Rosemary’s Baby on my Gothic, Grotesque and Monstrous course. There’s something about the extraordinary changes in the body and the idea of another person growing inside you that’s open to the world of monsters; rather like a human set of Russian nesting dolls. I think it’s also horrifying when a horror exploits that moment when both mother and baby are at their most vulnerable. Ava is drawn to the specific bridge on the property, despite the strange and eerie feelings that congregate there. Ava is taken in by it’s ’otherworldliness’ and slowly it takes over her life. The author lets us into Ava’s inner world by devoting some of the narrative to her journal entries where page after page is devoted to her ramblings about the place. Her home life starts to become disrupted, self-care goes out of the window and even her pregnancy can’t compete with her drive to discover the truth. 

In between Ava’s story we’re taken back to the historic occupants of the house. In the 1920s it’s Marion who lives there, a newly wed who feels lonely as her husband is away a lot for work. Then twenty years later it’s Constance, the sick little girl who is almost a prisoner, kept inside by her over anxious mother. Is she really the sick one in her family? Or is there some other motivation keeping her life so limited? We never know during these narratives whether what we’re being told is the truth. Are the women seeing events truthfully or skewed through the filter of their own experience? We all the view the world through our own learning, experience and emotional state so we have to question whether Ava’s state of mind is colouring her judgement? Is Marion’s loneliness affecting how she views the house? Could Constance’s illness and solitary existence have left her vulnerable to suggestion? All three could be unreliable narrators and the atmosphere can’t help, a sense of unease that settles over them and us. The darkness and mood seem to follow Ava like a miasma, created by every bad thing that’s happened there. It’s this that envelops her and draws her back again. Some historic events are appalling and I was affected by the scenes of animal abuse, as well as pregnancy trauma that’s also depicted. The scenes detailing pregnancy complications left me needing a few deep breaths and a cup of tea. That just underlines how well written the book is. I swear that as the book went on my blood pressure was climbing along with Ava’s. I was also left with a disoriented feeling sometimes and I think it’s a clever writer who can echo the character’s experiences with the feelings she evokes in the reader. 

The supernatural elements were very subtly and gently done, with the mere suggestion of the paranormal being enough. The way I felt while reading proved that this was the type of gothic horror I really enjoy. It felt like a classic horror that creeps up on you woven in with the sort of historical background that really grounds the characters in their time. The author uses the supernatural elements and the terrible story of the dogs, to tell us something about mothers and daughters – daughters being an echo of every woman who has come before them in the family line. It’s also about how the women fit into their world and I loved how the author explored the expectations on women and pressure placed on them by others and society in general. The author’s notes at the end are so interesting too, especially the elements of the book based on a true story. Overall this was a great combination of gothic storytelling and a compelling historical thriller. 

Out Now from Thomas and Mercer

Meet the Author

C. D. Major writes suspenseful books inspired by strange true stories. Alongside her thrillers she writes big love stories as Cesca Major, rom coms under the pseudonym Rosie Blake and emotional women’s fiction as Ruby Hummingbird. All information about her books, Book Club Questions and more are over on her website http://www.cescamajor.com. Cesca lives in Berkshire with her husband, son and twin daughters. She can be found on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram and enjoys connecting with readers.

Posted in Netgalley

The Cliff Hanger by Emily Freud

Posted on by thelotusreaders

You think you know how this ends. Think again.

Goodness this was a wild ride, full of unexpected twists, characters that are pathological and a book being written within a book. Married couple Felix and Emma seem to have it all. They are the husband and wife team behind the hugely successful Morgan Savage thrillers. However, their latest novel isn’t coming as easily as their others. Felix is drinking to the point of blacking out and had an affair with a girl called Robin who worked for their publishing house. Emma is angry and popping anxiety pills any chance she gets. Their publisher Max, exiles them to the South of France in the hope that new surroundings for the summer will unlock their creativity. The house is beautiful, on a cliff overlooking the sea, when visiting housekeeper Juliette tells them a story about a painting that hangs in the house an uneasiness hangs in the air. The girl was prone to sleepwalking and one night got out into the garden and walked directly off the cliff edge. Sometimes, her cries can be heard at night. Under the sweltering sun, will the couple heal their differences or will they become trapped in a deadly game that beats the plot of any Morgan Savage bestseller. 

This is a slow burn thriller, but when it does start to speed up it’s like a runaway train. Emma seems quite rigid and tightly controlled, almost as if she’s stifling her true feelings or self. Felix appears to be the more relaxed of the pair, sociable and happy to succumb to the pleasures of France. The couple met in a New York book shop, where Felix was sitting with his well worn copy of The Catcher in the Rye. Emma had a studious air, probably from the extra large glasses she wore. Both had always wanted to write but hadn’t yet succeeded. Years later Emma has become a neutral wearing, elegant and sophisticated woman who doesn’t like to be out of control. As an editor she knows what sells when it comes to fiction and how to jazz up or change the structure of a manuscript to create a bestseller. She writes early in the day, always sending her chapter of the book to Felix by 10am and then relaxing by the pool. Felix receives the chapter alongside little notes with suggestions or directions for Felix to follow. He falls out of bed (or wherever he slept) whenever he wakes, often nearer to lunchtime than breakfast. He has a leisurely start with plenty of coffee and when he’s feeling human again he gets to the book. He accepts that this is the way their joint writing works, but since they’re in France why not take the odd day off? He knows that without Emma starting the novel he would struggle. He had dreams of writing a great literary novel one day, but it’s never happened. His skills lend themselves to being the face of Morgan Savage. He does the festivals and book readings, because his charm and abilities lend themselves to being out front. He even signs their books as Morgan Savage, so it’s usually him people recognise. Emma stays behind the scenes, preferring the work to the publicity. She starts the new book on their first morning and then pushes Felix into his chapter each day to keep the momentum. Even in the quiet it’s clear there are resentments between them, a marriage’s worth of petty differences building towards a crescendo. 

Over the days little snippets of their lives emerge until we finally see the full picture. The pace picks up and the chapters get shorter and I was soon racing through the chapters to see what would happen next. My other half found me sat on a kitchen stool, cooking and reading at the same time. It leaves you desperate to know what happens next. At one point I had to check how close I was to the end on my Kindle but found myself really confused when I still had 15% of the book left. I thought I’d reached the end, that’s how clever the twists and turns are. I loved the book within a book, especially the way they are writing characters that explored their own marriage. Each has their own version though and while Emma would signpost where Felix should go next, she would receive his chapter and find he’d develop a character with entirely the opposite emphasis and behaviour. They’re using their writing like couple’s therapy, working out the kinks and plot holes but also punishing and spiting their spouse at every turn. It gets even more exciting when the tone and quality of the writing start to change at one side of the partnership. There are mistakes in grammar and spelling, but is this a sign of deteriorating mental health, over use of drink or drugs or something more sinister. I found myself wondering whether I trusted either narrator. 

Juliette is the girl who services the property. A carefree and natural young woman who cycles the area doing odds and ends for work. She’s the epitome of the term free spirit and could be a prime opportunity for Felix to continue his philandering ways. However, he’s confused when Emma befriends her, despite them being so different. Emma is also affected by Juliette’s story of the girl falling from the cliff and even has a bout of sleepwalking herself. Felix finds her in a trance in the living room and convinces her to go back to bed. Is this a reaction to Juliette’s story or something else? Emma was starting to remind me of Parker Posey’s character in the latest series of The White Lotus, uptight and reliant on pills to function. Could this be why the quality of the writing deteriorates or is Felix busier in his blackouts than previously thought? Just because he can’t remember doing anything, doesn’t mean he isn’t. This was a great story to get my teeth into and honestly, if they’d come to me as therapist, I might have asked them if they’d considered living apart. It’s a toxic atmosphere from the moment they arrive, but just when you think you’ve worked out why and what’s really going on it will surprise you again. As we go back in time, using flashbacks to important events, we can see how their romantic and professional lives began but these glimpses started to make me question what I thought I knew. I wanted to race back through the chapters to search for the clues that brought us to the unexpected conclusion. This was a thrilling and atmospheric read, with a brilliant portrayal of how a relationship has become toxic. If you love relationship dynamics partnered with a whole amusement park of twists and turns this will be your next completely unputdownable read. 

Out 8th May from Quercus

Meet the Author

Emily Freud is the author of four thrillers: My Best Friend’s Secret, What She Left Behind, Her Last Summer and, coming in 2025, The Cliffhanger. She spent her career working on award-winning television programmes, including Educating Yorkshire, First Dates, and SAS: Who Dares Wins – as well as developing original programming for all the main broadcasters. 

Posted in Monthly Wrap Up

Best Reads April 2025

Posted on by thelotusreaders

It’s been a busy month at home so there’s been a little bit less reading, but what I have read I’ve really enjoyed. As is often the case it’s a straight split between historical fiction and crime. Weirdly it’s also a straight split between debuts and books that are the third in a series. There are some definite contenders for my favourite books of the year too. I hope to be reading a bit more in May, getting back into my stride with a couple of blog tours and a read with my squad ladies too. One things for sure, I’ve enjoyed mood reading so much that I’m not going to overload myself with tours going forward. I’d forgotten the joy of picking up whatever suits, rather than having a rigid schedule, My bank holiday is going to be quiet with plenty of reading and journaling. We’re planning to spend some of it outdoors, accompanying my other half fishing. Just us, the dog, my comfy camp bed and outdoor cooking. Usually I end up sharing my bed with the dog because it’s so comfy. I’ll also be taking a book of course. ❤️📚

I really do enjoy my time spent in Molly the Maid’s world. It’s one of those books where I find myself smiling as I read. It only takes a couple of sentences for me to feel like I never left her world. In some ways her life could be seen as unchanged. She’s still Molly, as wholly herself as ever, living in her late grandmother’s flat with her fiancé Juan, chef at the Regency Grand. In other ways things have changed, Molly manages the maids and has become ‘Events Manager’ so she’s definitely gone up in the world at work. Two events loom in the near future – Molly and Juan’s wedding at City Hall is on the horizon – but today the two darlings of the antique world are filming an episode of their TV show in the tearoom of the hotel. Beagle and Braun, known jointly as the Bees, are the married presenters of ‘Hidden Treasures‘. A show runs like our own Antique Roadshow where people queue to have their valuables appraised. Before they leave the flat that morning, Juan suggests Molly takes her grandmother’s box of treasures, including a highly decorated egg. When the Bees see this particular treasure their eyes light up. They seem to know immediately that this is very special and they must have it on camera. As the cameras roll they tell Molly that this looks like a lost Russian imperial egg, the prototype for all the ones that follow. It’s one of a kind, decorated with rubies and emeralds by Faberge himself. Now worth several million dollars. Molly doesn’t seem to take the news in and wants to carry on as normal, but as the clip is shared online that becomes impossible and Mr Preston has to take them home. Will life ever be the same again? Things go from bad to worse when during an auction at the hotel the egg disappears, despite being on a plinth and glass case in the middle of the stage. Now Molly must work with Detective Stark to find it, but this is a search that will take us back into the past. Molly really does prove in this novel that she’s a ‘good egg’, pardon the pun. No temptation lures her from the things she values – her job, Juan, Mr Preston and her flat. It was interesting to get some back story on her grandmother too and understand why she brought Molly up the way she did. This is a charming and heartwarming novel and a brilliant trilogy to delve into if you haven’t already.

The Show Woman has been on my TBR since January and I was delighted to be accepted for a NetGalley ARC. I love all things circus, fairgrounds, mediums and freak shows so I was drawn straight away but this was so much more than I expected and has a lot in common with The Eights. Set in 1901 we meet Lena who has lost her father and after his death was left with his carousel and their caravan. She sells the carousel and has the idea of creating the first all-female show with herself as a ringmaster. The only female show woman is Serena Lind and she’s a hard, bitter and vengeful woman who rules her circus with a rod of iron. So when Violet meets with Lena about leaving Lind’s and becoming a trapeze artist for the new show, it sets a scene for what follows. With Rosie and her pony Tommy they have a bareback rider and Carmen the dancer and acrobat makes their four. With an old tent they start to practice and be ready for the next season and with a bit of help from Violet’s brother Harry, they start to become known. This is a story of revenge, friendship, love and women making their own way in the world. I loved how the women bond, living together in the caravan and travelling from show ground to show ground. Lena has the makings of a brilliant show woman but first she needs to find out who is trying to sabotage their circus. Lena becomes the head of this a community that fully supports each other, who listen and understand the circumstances and pain that has brought them here. I was rooting for all of these women and not just the show, but their new found independence and friendships. It was those evenings where they were talking in the caravan after a show, too full of adrenaline to sleep. Or the warm and sunny days when they got chance to swim in a local lake or river, to wash their hair. Then there were the joint efforts to save Rosie’s pony. It’s these moments that are just as magical for these women as the seconds before Violet lets go and flies through the air. 

This was another novel set in the early part of the 20th Century, this time just after WWI. It also features four young women but these meet in the hallowed halls of Oxford University where they will be the first female cohort to be awarded a degree for their studies. Nicknamed the ‘Eights’ because of the room numbers on their corridor, Beatrice, Ottoline, Marianne and Dora are very different, but soon become firm friends as they navigate their first year. Beatrice is political, has a feminist and suffragette mother and is used to being noticed, as she’s usually the tallest woman in a room. Marianne is a scholarship student, but she seems to have secrets, including why she returns home every other weekend. Ottoline (Otto) comes from a wealthy family, but is haunted by her war experiences in a nursing role. She’s had symptoms of PTSD ever since, but also feelings of shame that she couldn’t do her duty. Dora also struggles with the consequences of war, having received the dreaded letter from her fiancé Charles’s regiment to inform her he’d been killed. Just two weeks later her brother George also lost his life. Being so close to Charles’s university only serves to keep him at the forefront of her mind. This seemingly random allocation starts strong friendships as the girls help each other negotiate their university work, their memories of the war and being taken seriously by their male counterparts. I loved every one of these characters and it was wonderful to watch them grow and help each other navigate the choppy waters of academic problems, financial worries, matters of the heart and the terrible experience of loss. I was so sorry to turn the final page and leave their world.

I’ve been re-reading Stig Abell’s Jake Jackson series after winning the latest instalment, The Burial Place, in a Twitter giveaway by the author. This is book number three and while Jake and his ‘team’ tangled with an international criminal gang in the last book, The Burial Place is more of a home grown mystery. There has been an archaeological dig close to Little Sky and a hoard of treasure found nearby. The ownership of this treasure is in dispute because it’s unclear who owns the land where it was found. Meanwhile, work carries on for the archaeologists, academics and local enthusiasts who have been working on the site but when a body is found it must shut down. It’s hard for new DCI McAllister to understand the motive and being new to the area he enlists Jake’s help, both for his investigative skills and his local knowledge. The community are aware that several nuisance letters have been sent to the dig office and various people who’ve worked on the site. They’re a strange mix of threats, Bible verses and ancient prophecies signed off by Wulfnoth – an ancient Briton from the area. They promise a terrible end for the dig and whoever benefits from the treasure found. Can Jake find the killer before anyone else is hurt? Looking at themes of belonging and sacred land, this is a quieter novel but no less deadly. A definite team have formed around Jake, a family of sorts who both work and relax together. There’s also the continuation of the romance between Jake and local vet, Livia and an appearance from his ex-wife Faye that brings about much soul searching and healing. Thankfully he has Little Sky as his sanctuary when things get too noisy and stressful. The home left to him by his Uncle Arthur, shows he clearly knew his nephew very well.

Here’s some of the fiction on my TBR trolley.

Posted in Netgalley

The Show Woman by Emma Cowing 

Posted on by thelotusreaders

I loved this book about four women brought together creating an all female mini circus. Lena is the show woman of the title and as well as managing all their finances and planning, she is the ring mistress. Violet escapes another circus to become their trapeze artist. Rosie is their bareback rider, while Carmen can be a musician, acrobat and dancer whose costume is a swirling rainbow of ribbons. Set in 1910, we meet the Grand Dame of the show circuit in Scotland – Serena Linden. Serena is the show woman behind Linden’s Circus renowned throughout Scotland and the only circus to perform at Balmoral for Queen Victoria and the royal family. Serena is the old guard who has inherited her circus from her father. She is old, arthritic, bitter and quite capable of settling scores with trickery and violence. She particularly likes to thwart those who flee her employ and move to other shows or even worse,start their own. 

Lena has always been at the background of the circus and fair ground scene she has lived in all her life. Her mother disappeared a long time ago and she doesn’t remember her. Now her father has died and has left just their caravan and his carousel. She is told she’d better it sell it if she wants to have a life, because her only other options are to find a husband or a factory job. That’s until Violet arrives with a proposition. Violet is known for her flame red hair and her talent on the trapeze, she is known by fairground people as the greatest trapeze artist that’s ever lived, but also for being outspoken and a bit of a loner. What if they started their own show? They’re both outcasts and have nothing to lose. When they start to look for performers they find two more women on the run. Rosie has practiced her bareback riding with her pony Tommy for years. In fact she never imagined escaping her abusive father, but couldn’t stand it any longer. Finally there’s Carmen, a beautiful Spanish girl with luscious black hair and a lot of secrets. She dances and performs acrobatics in her rainbow ribbons. With Lena as ringmaster and an old but serviceable tent can they last the season? 

I loved spending time with these wonderful women. I wanted to mother Rosie who desperately needs to let the truth out about her father and the after dark fumbling in the laundry cupboard. Her relationship with Tommy the pony is so beautiful because of the trust they have in each other, so when he fell ill I was so worried. Her burgeoning feelings for Violet are so pure and totally separate from the shame she’s holding onto. Violet is brilliantly herself and never tries to be anything else. She has a preference for women and has years of experience in this world, knowing how careful she must be. She knows that leaving Linden’s was risky so when their show is sabotaged she wonders if it might be Serena’s goons. Especially when they wreak the ultimate revenge on her specifically. Violet doesn’t know how she’ll cope if she ever can’t fly. Carmen keeps her cards close to her chest but somehow finds a home with the other women. She holds a lot of shame, for the years she spent on the streets, destitute and selling the only thing she has left. It’s this past that threatens her place in the show, when a misunderstanding comes between her and Lena. 

I really enjoyed Lena, who’s strong and old, perfectly capable of organising three women and travelling from place to place iin season. It’s Lena who gets up early, has a dip in the river or stream then sets up the camp fire and cooks breakfast for the others. I could imagine her in her usual ‘ringmaster’ outfit, with the combination of the masculine clothes her long hair and red lipstick bringing a sass and sexiness to her role. Love is her undoing. It’s an instant attraction between her and Violet’s brother Harry, who no longer works on the shows but has become a music hall singer. He offers advice on the show and protection when a couple of men lurk around the caravan, seeing four women as sitting ducks. When the women’s luck changes and Violet is angry and frustrated she lets slip a secret that breaks Lena’s heart. The women come apart. Can Lena find out about the sabotage and her family history by visiting Serena Linden? 

Lena is determined to understand her past , uncovering a kinship between her and one of the others that has been hidden for years. She is also determined to find out who committed the act of sabotage against Violet. Was it about the show or was it more personal? She becomes the head of this family, determined to bring them all back together. A community that fully supports each other, who listen and understand the circumstances and pain that has brought them here. I was rooting for all of these women and not just the show, but their new found independence and friendships. It was those evenings where they were talking in the caravan after a show, too full of adrenaline to sleep. Or the warm and sunny days when they got chance to swim in a local lake or river, to wash their hair. Then there were the joint efforts to save Rosie’s pony. It’s these moments that are just as magical for these women as the seconds before Violet lets go and flies through the air. 

Out May 1st 2025

Meet the Author

Emma Cowing is a journalist and author. She was shortlisted for the 2023 Cheshire Novel Prize, and longlisted for the 2023 Bath Novel Award and Blue Pencil First Novel Award. She lives in Glasgow with her husband Jonathan and their cat, Moses. The Show Woman is her first novel.

Posted in Sunday Spotlight

Sunday Spotlight: Non- Fiction on My TBR

Posted on by thelotusreaders

I started the year wanting to read more non-fiction, something I usually do when I need a literary ‘palate cleanser’. We all get those slumps or brain fog moments because we’ve not stopped reading for weeks. My usual pick -me-up is to grab a memoir or psychology book and for some reason that always works. So I want to share with you a few of the books I’ve read or that are on my TBR and wishlist.

Books I Re-Read

This book was one I picked up during my training in counselling. I was working with people who have acquired a disability through disease or trauma and I was really interested in how people process such a huge change in life. There’s such a long grieving process for what is lost, including the life they were expecting to have. This is the effect of a physical illness or disability on mental health. This book made me think about the opposite effect though, the effect thar emotional trauma has on the body. Mental pain, felt bodily, can be devastating for sufferers, their families and future generations. If you think about something mentally painful that has happened to you – the loss of a loved one or pet, workplace or exam stress, the breakdown of a friendship or relationship – now think about your behaviour or responses at that time. Some of them will be mental but others will be physical: feeling sick or losing your appetite; having a headache or migraine; sleeping more than usual or insomnia. Some people are unable to feel mental pain until they feel it in the body, in fact most of you will have thought about how stressed you’ve been when your shoulders feel tense or a headache is creeping up on you. It’s believed some people never feel mental pain immediately when the trauma is happening and the body stores it, converting it into physical symptoms. Written by one of the world’s experts on traumatic stress, this book offers a bold new paradigm for treatment, moving away from standard talking and drug therapies and towards an alternative approach that heals mind, brain and body.

I’m a huge fan of Brené Brown and as a perfectionist I get a lot out of her work on accepting imperfection. I’ve always wanted to write a book but I’m impeded by imposter syndrome and fear of failure. In this book she approaches this as both a social scientist and a friend. She tells the truth, makes us laugh, and even cry with you. And what’s now become a movement all started with The Gifts of Imperfection. She doesn’t just give us statistics and words on a page, but creates effective daily practices called the ten guideposts to wholehearted living. These guideposts help us understand the practices that will allow us to change our lives and families, they also walk us through the unattainable and sabotaging expectations that get in the way. I found this incredibly helpful and I dip in and out of the book when I’m having imposter moments or have fallen out of practice with my writing.

My Non- Fiction TBR

I am a huge fan of Caitlin Moran and have been since her NME days in the 1990s. Her How to be a Woman book is my go to gift for teenage girls. Her writing is frank, raw, informative and hilariously funny. She lays out her teens for us as she struggled with identity, menstruation, weight gain and having so many siblings exploring masturbation was almost impossible. She talks about the things no one talks about openly and with my book group it really opened up some difficult conversations. Here she takes a look at men, at a time where misogyny is a daily occurrence and men like Andrew Tate are inciting hatred of women online. Written before the recent drama Adolescence, she proposes it has never been a more difficult time to be a teenage boy. And, therefore, there has never been a more difficult time to be the parent of a teenage boy.

We’ve all read the headlines, boys are failing in education; facing a hopeless jobs market; getting their sexual education from violent pornography; and being endlessly targeted by online influencers who, yes, tell them to make their beds, and go to the gym – but also push dodgy cryptocurrency schemes, and think the best place for a woman is ‘working in a Romanian sex-dungeon’. She opens with a group of angry teenage boys claiming feminism has ‘gone too far’, and asks: what do boys actually mean when they say that? Are all angry boys, underneath everything, scared? What happens when your son becomes a fan of Andrew Tate? And why do one-in-ten gym-going boys say they’ve felt ‘suicidal’ about their bodies?

Having spent a decade writing about women, girls, and their problems, Caitlin Moran found that, in reality, boys and girls have more in common than they think. Women have spent decades trying to feel better about their bodies; trying to find positive role-models; and feeling angry, and scared, about their place in the world. If feminism has ‘gone too far’ is it because we have started to solve these problems? And, if so, what can boys, and men, learn from this? I am possibly the only person who hasn’ t watched Adolescence yet and I’d like to read this first.

I’m a big believer, whether it’s with friends or in therapy, I’m giving people permission to say the unsayable. In fact this is probably most useful in my conversations with Mum who has to deal with a parent who’s definitely in denial and is so focused on appearing nice to others that it’s pretty much impossible to have an honest conversation. So we make an effort as I’m in middle age and she’s in old age, to be honest with each other and say ‘this made me angry’ or ‘that made me feel sad.’ I thought the title of this book was definitely one of those unsayable things! This memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life. 

I didn’t know Jennette until my stepdaughters explained she’d been acting since she was six years old when she had her first audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.

Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarlyspinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants. I received this for Christmas and I know I’m going to love it.

Another book I bought at Christmas, but I haven’t managed to read it yet. I had heard of 10 Rillington Place as a murder site but hadn’t read the story. In London, 1953. Police discovered the bodies of three young women hidden in a wall at 10 Rillington Place, a dingy terrace house in Notting Hill. On searching the building, they found another body beneath the floorboards, then an array of human bones in the garden. But they had already investigated a double murder at 10 Rillington Place, three years ago, and the killer was hanged. Did they get the wrong man?

A nationwide manhunt is launched for the tenant of the ground-floor flat, a softly spoken former policeman named Reg Christie. Star reporter Harry Procter chases after the scoop. Celebrated crime writer Fryn Tennyson Jesse begs to be assigned to the case. The story becomes an instant sensation, and with the relentless rise of the tabloid press the public watches on like never before. Who is Christie? Why did he choose to kill women, and to keep their bodies near him? As Harry and Fryn start to learn the full horror of what went on at Rillington Place, they realise that Christie might also have engineered a terrible miscarriage of justice in plain sight. In this riveting true story, Kate Summerscale mines the archives to uncover the lives of Christie’s victims, the tabloid frenzy that their deaths inspired, and the truth about what happened inside the house.

I love fashion and have quite a collection of fashion books, mainly from visiting exhibits and museums. Zandra Rhodes is fascinating because she’s an unapologetic maximalist. In this insightful memoir, Zandra shares her life story for the first time. Told through a variety of mementos collected over the years, it is a vibrant account filled with rockstars and royalty, of life-changing friendships and poignant reflections on her personal triumphs and tragedies, as well as the fears, sacrifices and pressures that come with being an era-defining designer.

Full of poignant reflections and life lessons on achieving success while defying convention, Zandra takes the reader right alongside her as she recounts being inspired by her avant-garde mother to her time at the Royal College, from a road trip to Rome with Ossie Clark and Celia Birtwell, to opening her first London store thanks to a kind loan from Vanessa Redgrave with Joe Cocker singing With a Little Help From My Friends, from hanging out with Andy Warhol and Halston in New York’s Studio 54 to lifelong friendships with legends such as Karl Lagerfeld and Diana Vreeland; from designing for everyone from Freddie Mercury to Diana Ross, Princess Dianato Barbra Streisand to founding the Fashion and Textile Museum.

Capturing the rich and unexpected life of a British icon, this memoir explores what it is to defy the norm.

I must admit that the cover drew me to this book and I didn’t initially realise this was a true crime book. In April 1929, the body of British artist Olive Branson was found submerged in a water tank outside her farmhouse in a picturesque Provence village. Dressed only in a pink shirt and stockings, she had a bullet hole between her eyes and a revolver by her side.

Was it suicide – or murder?

The initial investigation concluded suicide, but under pressure from Olive’s family to conduct a murder enquiry, city detective Alexandre Guibbal was brought in to reopen the case. Examining never-before-seen evidence, acclaimed true crime writer Susannah Stapleton builds a vivid and absorbing picture of an unconventional life and a violent death, and an investigation that shines a bright light on a village simmering with resentments and dangerous rivalries . . .

On My Wishlist

Last year I read two books based within the history of witch hunters in Scotland and I became fascinated with the truth behind these stories so I’ve been waiting for this to come out. As a woman, if you lived in Scotland in the 1500s, there was a very good chance that you, or someone you knew, would be tried as a witch. Witch hunts ripped through the country for over 150 years, with at least 4,000 accused, and with many women’s fates sealed by a grizzly execution of strangulation, followed by burning.

Inspired to correct this historic injustice, campaigners and writers Claire Mitchell, KC, and Zoe Venditozzi, have delved deeply into just why the trials exploded in Scotland to such a degree. In order to understand why it happened, they have broken down the entire horrifying process, step-by-step, from identification of individuals, to their accusation, ‘pricking’, torture, confessions, execution and beyond. 
With characteristically sharp wit and a sense of outrage, they attempt to inhabit the minds of the persecutors, often men, revealing the inner workings of exactly why the Patriarchy went to such extraordinary lengths to silence women, and how this legally sanctioned victimisation proliferated in Scotland and around the world. 

With testimony from a small army of experts, pen portraits of the women accused, trial transcripts, witness accounts and the documents that set the legal grounds for the hunts, How to Kill A Witch builds to form a rich patchwork of tragic stories, helping us comprehend the underlying reasons for this terrible injustice, and raises the serious question – could it ever happen again?

Out on 15th May from Monoray

I loved Eat, Pray, Love when I read it and hoped Elizabeth Gilbert had found happiness with the man she met in Bali towards the end of the novel. Then I was vaguely aware that her life had become tumultuous. This memoir details that time. In 2000, Elizabeth Gilbert met Rayya. They became friends, then best friends, then inseparable. When tragedy entered their lives, the truth was finally laid bare: the two were in love. They were also a pair of addicts, on a collision course toward catastrophe.

What if your most beautiful love story turned into your biggest nightmare? What if the dear friend who taught you so much about your self-destructive tendencies became the unstable partner with whom you disastrously reenacted every one of them? And what if your most devastating heartbreak opened a pathway to your greatest awakening?

All the Way to the River is a landmark memoir that will resonate with anyone who has ever been captive to love – or to any other passion, substance or craving – and who yearns, at long last, for liberation.

Out on 9th September 2025 from Bloomsbury Publishing

Who doesn’t love Kathy Burke? She’s an absolute treasure. I loved the documentaries she did for Channel 4. Just following her on X keeps me amused so the idea of a memoir is so exciting. There’s only a short blurb for this one but it’s already on my birthday list.

Even when she was a kid in Islington, Kathy Burke did things her own way. After gaining a place at the Anna Scher Theatre when she was a teenager changed the course of her life, she became an actor in 1982. By the mid-1990s Kathy was a household name. Whether you know her as the beloved Perry, for her award-winning acting, or for being proudly woke and calling out tw*ts on social media, Kathy has always had a mind of her own. Funny and wise, this is her memoir.

Out on 23rd October from Gallery UK

Posted in Netgalley

The Maid’s Secret by Nita Prose 

Posted on by thelotusreaders

It was a joy to be back in Molly the Maid’s company again. It always takes just a couple of sentences for me to feel like I never left her world. In some ways her life could be seen as unchanged. She’s still Molly, as wholly herself as ever, living in her late grandmother’s flat with her fiancé Juan, chef at the Regency Grand. In other ways things have changed, Molly manages the maids and has become ‘Events Manager’ so she’s definitely gone up in the world at work. Two important events loom in the near future – Molly and Juan’s wedding at City Hall is on the horizon – but today the two darlings of the antique world are filming an episode of their TV show Hidden Treasures in the tearoom of the hotel. Beagle and Brown are known jointly as the Bees. They wear a lot of velvet, bow ties and smoking jackets and are the married presenters of the show that runs like our own Antiques Roadshow. People queue to have their valuables appraised in the hope of either owning a secret masterpiece or appearing on the TV. At the last moment, before they leave the flat that morning, Juan suggests Molly takes her grandmother’s box of treasures, including a highly decorated egg that came to her from the Grimsthorpe estate. When the Bees see this particular treasure their eyes light up. They seem to know immediately that this is very special and they must get it on camera. As the cameras roll they tell Molly that this looks like a lost Russian imperial egg, possibly the prototype for all the ones that followed. It’s one of a kind, decorated with rubies and emeralds by Fabergé himself. It’s worth could be several million dollars. Molly doesn’t seem to take the news in and wants to carry on as normal, but as the clip is shared online it becomes impossible and Mr Preston has to take them home. The couple sit in their flat utterly shell shocked. Will life ever be the same again?

Things go from bad to worse when Molly agrees to auction the egg at the hotel, again run by Brown and Beagle. It might be the only way to return things to normal. She can’t imagine being wealthy and so far has only committed to a slightly larger wedding. As the auction reaches fever pitch, all eyes are on the egg in it’s glass case on the podium. As the hammer goes down at ten million dollars there are celebrations across the room and no one notices, until the Bees draw attention back to the egg, that there’s just an empty case. The author follows this story as the police are called in and an investigations get underway, but between this narrative are chapters from the past. It isn’t long after the auction when Mr Preston reunites Molly with a different relic from the past – her late grandmother’s diary. The ornate key to open it has always been in her grandmother’s cabinet but Molly has never known what it was for and she isn’t ready to open it just yet. We still get the tale though, written directly to Molly in a series of letters. We might learn about her past with Mr Preston, but also why she was estranged from her whole family. We also might find out what might her give up her daughter, Molly’s mother Maggie. 

Molly is the heart and soul of the book though and she doesn’t disappoint. She is genuinely flummoxed by people’s reaction after the valuation. As guests and even fellow staff start to photograph her working, Molly just wants to get on. In the main people just want to congratulate her but Cheryl is her usual self, taking and selling pictures of NYC’s newest potential millionaire. Molly doesn’t understand what’s changed because she’s the same person with exactly the same values as before. When the egg is stolen, all she wants to do is help the police to recover it, although she isn’t necessarily happy about the chaos it’s brought to her life. Molly is a great detective though and admired by Police Detective Stark for her ability to notice patterns and follow the logic of a case. She also has an encyclopaedic knowledge of the hotel, which might be invaluable when working out how someone could steal something in plain sight. I did feel sorry for Molly, especially when she’s talked into trying on wedding dresses in a high end store by her protégée Lily. The pair are horrified to find out it is a publicity stunt for the TV cameras. Molly truly believes she has everything she could want – her job, Juan, Mr Preston, their home. She’s almost given up on her mother who does make an appearance here. A child never loses that tiny bit of hope when it comes to a parent and it’s so heartbreaking to see Molly taking this chance. I was desperately hoping Maggie was there for the right reasons. 

Molly’s grandmother’s narrative reads like a fairy tale. A young girl with wealthy but distant parents, becomes a pawn in their game when fortunes are running low. They know that their business is going to fail and a rival is trying to buy it up. As the money dries up their daughter might be the only way they can revive their fortunes. Unfortunately Molly’s grandmother is more interested in her education than making an advantageous marriage. She’s fallen in love already although she’s fighting it. John is the nephew of their housekeeper, has a scholarship at the same school and has been given access to family’s library for his studies. They have an instant spark with lots of banter and academic competition, but her head is turned when she has the chance to date the fabulously handsome and wealthy son of the man who’s buying their company. If she pleases him, maybe their fortunes will be saved. He’s certainly charming, but is that all surface? The dairy feels like a cautionary tale for young women and men do not come out of it very well. Molly doesn’t really need to read it as she’s always listened to her grandmother’s advice. However, it might just give her a clue…

This is a charming and heart-warming read that brings Molly full circle in terms of her background and having her life exactly where she wants it. There is a special joy in a character like this who you can absolutely root for. Her modest wants in life are refreshing and old fashioned in a way. As many point out, it’s rare to see one of the little people, rewarded by a quirk of fate. I knew there were so many obstacles to overcome, not just the theft but the question of ownership and provenance if it was returned. I knew that it would be a great read either way because Molly is the sort of character who will find her happiness with or without the golden egg. 

Meet the Author

Nita Prose is the author of the Molly the Maid series, including THE MISTLETOE MYSTERY, THE MYSTERY GUEST, and THE MAID, which has sold more than 2 million copies worldwide and was published in over forty countries. A #1 NEW YORK TIMES bestseller and a GOOD MORNING AMERICA Book Club Pick, THE MAID won the Ned Kelly Award for International Crime Fiction, the Fingerprint Award for Debut Novel of the Year, the Anthony Award for Best First Novel, and the Barry Award for Best First Mystery. THE MAID was also an Edgar Award finalist for Best Novel. Nita lives in Toronto, Canada, in a house that is moderately clean.