Ever since they first met at university, Beth and Nick have circled in and out of one another’s lives: supporting each other through grief, marriage, divorce, career crises and family dramas.
Fourteen years ago, when they were on the cusp of adulthood, they both survived a devastating fire that sent their lives in different directions. And they’ve been running ever since: from the pain, from the memories, and most devastatingly of all, from the guilt.
But no matter how hard they try, there’s something else they can’t run from. The inescapable, terrifying truth: they’re in love with each other.
But how can they move forward, when neither of them can stop looking back?
I always say I don’t like romance, then a book like this comes along and I’m all in. Maybe it’s being over 50, but stories of first love grab me in the feels. Especially tragic first love. The thing is we’ve all had the experience of love that’s come at the wrong place or the wrong time, so reading a love story like Beth and Nick’s brings up memories and feelings of nostalgia. Our first love experiences are so intense and when feeling are unrequited or interrupted they can stay with us for the rest of our lives. Beth and Nick have a brilliant first meeting. They’re placed in the same flat at university and Beth walks into the shared bathroom and gets an eyeful! Beth is the last person to join the flat because she’s been ill so relationships have already been established. The other two girls, Rosa and Anna, were best friends before university and Nick is already in a relationship with Anna. Beth senses some chemistry between her and Nick, but she tries hard to ignore it. Nobody wants to be the girl who steals their flatmate’s boyfriend in the first weeks of the first term. When he turns up to watch her in drama club she thinks he must feel the same.
It’s Nick who takes action. He breaks up with Anna and invites Beth on a late night walk. As they walk there’s just so much anticipation. The author builds to their first kiss with all that yearning and tension around who will make the first move. When they spot the fire in their building it’s already well ablaze and Anna is killed.
Wracked with survivor’s guilt, Nick leaves university. Beth struggles to cope, feeling like Nick has abandoned her. She decides to stay and finish her drama course. Lives move on. Yet feelings for each other and about the tragic start to their time at university, still linger. The author tells the story through both characters and over 15 years as they build careers and relationships. They both think of each other. They try to keep in touch as friends and their paths do meet from time to time, but they’re always held back by the past. They do try to support each other, so when Beth’s long-term relationship breaks down, she finds herself wanting to talk to Nick. I really felt their longing for that first love and their thoughts that maybe it could have worked. Then reality crashes in and those feelings of guilt cloud their hopes. Yet the novel isn’t schmaltzy. There are meaty issues here like domestic violence and mental health, not to mention those trauma related feelings they’ve never really shared with each other.
If there was ever a book to emphasise the importance of counselling or simply talking to each other, it’s this one. Until Nick and Beth talk through what happened and how it’s affected them since, they will always be haunted by Anna’s death. When trauma is left unresolved people find unhealthy ways to deal with those hidden emotions. Nick has a rescuer personality, developed because he never again wants to feel like he did back then as the cause of Anna’s sadness in her final hours. I love that Beth writes about what happened and her feelings for Nick because at least she’s processing the trauma, because the more we talk about it the less power it has. The tension in the novel comes from wondering if this pair will ever come together at the right time and place. Will they get the chance to put things right? Can they ever find their way back to each other? I was deeply invested and filled with hope for them. The author has written a beautiful love story, but it has impact because it isn’t a fairy tale and these two characters feel absolutely real. At the end I felt like comparisons to One Day, the archetypal friends to lovers classic, are entirely justified.
Out now in paperback from Aria.
Meet the Author
Charlotte Rixon is the pen name of Charlotte Duckworth, USA Today-bestselling author of suspense fiction published by Quercus. Charlotte studied Classics at Leeds University and went on to gain a PGDip in Screenwriting. She worked for many years as a magazine journalist, and is a graduate of the Faber Academy ‘Writing A Novel’ course. You can find out more about her on her website: charlotterixon.com.
“Now are the woods all black, but still the sky is blue. May you always see a blue sky overhead.” Proust.
I was utterly mesmerised by this unusual grown-up fairy tale. Having read the author’s work before I was expecting a certain strangeness and this story definitely delivered. It’s hard to write about without revealing anything and you need to go into this book without spoilers. The story is told through the eyes of Birdie and her little girl Emmaleen. Birdie is a young, single mum. She’s living in a cabin out behind the bar where she works for Della. Birdie is just getting by. She has a wild spirit and although she loves Emmaleen, she’s not the most consistent parent. We meet her on a beautiful morning where she has woken up from the night before relatively unscathed. Yes, she’s a bit hungover and she knows Della is going to have words for her when she goes into work. For now though, the woods and creek are calling her, so she takes her fishing rod and leaving Emmaleen asleep and alone she walks through the trees and down to the water. She rationalises that she won’t be long and Emmaleen will sleep for a while yet. She catches a rainbow trout, guts and cleans it in the creek, before setting off back to the cabin. When she gets there, Emmaleen is gone. Birdie goes into panic mode, desperate to find her daughter but terrified to admit to Della that she’s left her alone. It’s a man called Arthur who eventually emerges from the woods with Birdie’s daughter on his shoulders and she’s never been more relieved. She knows Della will have something to say about this, but for now she’s just happy that Emmaleen is safe. When Della moves her onto the day shift, it’s a comment on her partying and parenting lifestyle. She has to bring Emmaleen into the lodge with her, but she sits colouring and doesn’t pester while she’s trying to work.
Arthur comes in most mornings, he sits through the bar side of the lodge alone and orders toast. She’s fascinated by this strange, wild man. He has scarring and only the remains of an ear one side of his face. Birdie thinks he smells of wild places, never artificial scent. He smells mossy and like earth. From time to time she brushes his shoulder and if Della is out getting supplies, she might take a moment and sit with him. He’s so natural and gentle with Emmaleen too. He’s quiet and when he does say something it’s strangely, always in the present. She asks him why and he tells her that for him the world is like that. He’s always in the here and now. He understands the wildness in Birdie and her yearning to be out in the mountains. His parents have had a cabin in the woods since before he was born and it’s become his more or less. For several months of the year he takes himself up into the mountains and lives off the land and whatever supplies his dad flies in. It’s total isolation, off grid and without comforts. When he asks Birdie if she and Emmaleen would like to make a home out there in the mountains, there is only one answer. Yes.
“That’s how it was with Arthur. Getting close to him, feeling his eyes on her – like touching something dark and wild, then watching it dart away.’
Between the pages of this book I was totally lost in the wildness of Alaska. The author’s descriptions are vividly beautiful and I found myself wondering about a place I’d imagined as being full of snow. All of my senses were engaged and I became entranced by Emmaleen’s discovery of nature as Arthur shows her the forest floor with it’s springy moss and tiny wildflowers. There’s a strangeness and even a danger to being so far away from civilisation. Arthur’s cabin has been needing a woman’s touch for a long time. The floor is covered with leaves and dirt from the forest and mosquitoes are squeezing through the gaps round the windows. Birdie sets about cleaning the cabin and Emmaleen gets used to her environment, playing with her gnome friends and tasting bluebell flowers. The days are harsh, but Birdie’s enjoying the challenge of cooking and laundry out here without heating or electricity. She likes not knowing what time it is and working to her own body clock. She feels like part of the place. Yet underneath these drowsy and idyllic warm days, there’s a sneaky sense of unease. Arthur’s father Warren seems reluctant to leave the woman and her daughter alone in such a secluded place with Arthur. He’s never seen his son be so tender as he is with this little girl. He even flies over 48 hours later and sees all three of them hiking up one of the mountains and they wave to him. Maybe he’s worrying about nothing. Yet Arthur does disappear and reappear without warning and sleeps on the floor. He seems curiously unsure when it comes to sex. There’s a mound near the cabin where Arthur yells at Emmaleen, telling her not to play there. There’s a hidden animal pelt under the earth and caribou bones under the bed. How long before Birdie and Emaleen learn the terrifying truth about Arthur?
This incredible story fits it’s unusual background perfectly. I loved how accepting Birdie was, despite the fact that she’s making risky decisions she doesn’t doubt Arthur for a moment. She accepts his unusual and seemingly inexperienced caresses without question. I didn’t know what to expect from the sections where we’re in Emmaleen’s world, but they are really strong, with bags of imagination and inventiveness. She’s so innocent and precious. I’ve lived in rural Lincolnshire as a child, mainly on farms so her wanderings and imaginary games reminded me of being small. I used to draw flowers and bark patterns or lie in a willow tree that hung over the water and read all day while my brother fished. I was fascinated with wild flowers so the details of plants and berries, which to eat and which were poisonous are so familiar. I also grew a strong stomach, having sat and watched my Dad gut rabbits and pheasants. I loved that Birdie could do these things, she has basic survival skills but that’s for expected dangers. I had a feeling that the potential threat would be out of the ordinary. Even though she makes mistakes I had a real maternal fondness for this young woman and her acceptance of this taciturn young man. Love comes in so many different forms and even though I could feel something looming on the horizon for this new little family I was hoping against hope for the transformative power of love.
Out Now from Tinder Press
Meet the Author
Eowyn Ivey’s debut novel, THE SNOW CHILD, was published in twenty-six languages, and became an international bestseller. It was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize 2013, and Eowyn won the International Author of the Year category at the 2012 National Book Awards. A former bookseller, Eowyn lives in Palmer, Alaska, with her family.
This week I celebrated an important anniversary. Not a personal one, but a writing one. I was informed on JetPack that I’d been book blogging for five years. As many of you probably know, rom coms are rarely my thing. I need a love story to have lots of different aspects to it, because I don’t want to read about dating. What I do like to read is real love: everyday married love; second time love; inconvenient love; love that triumphs over terrible odds and love that’s been lost. All of these books have something extra that made me want to shout about them. It might be something weird – husband turns into a shark. It could be something forbidden or secret – two women in love in 19th Century England. It could be first love, but interrupted by murder. It could be two middle-aged people who get very grumpy with each other walking from the Lancashire to Yorkshire coast. Maybe there’s a magical element, like a girl who receives anonymous notes that tell her when her relationships will end. I fell in love with the love story in all of these books over the last five years of my blog. Hope you enjoy them.
Leaving by Roxana Robinson
Leaving was the last book that absolutely tore my heart out. Sarah sees Warren, who she dated for a while in their college years. She had ended it, unsure whether they were a good fit. Yet they never stopped thinking about each other. Sarah is divorced now and lives alone in her country home with her dog Bella for company. Warren lives just outside Boston and is married to Janet, exactly the sort of wife he has needed: attractive, a good hostess and great mum to their daughter Kattie who is an older teenager. However, Janet is very aware of who should be in their social circle and how things should be done. They don’t talk about current affairs together, listen to an opera or read the same books. Perhaps their marriage has always been like this, but it feels empty since he saw Sarah again. Can he spend the rest of his life in this marriage as he promised or can he be with Sarah? If he leaves what price will he have to pay? Once an affair starts turning into something more, so many decisions have to be made and the sacrifices those choices will create become stark and very real. Sarah has imagined living with Warren, but she’s always thought of them at her home. This is where she rebuilt herself after her divorce. It’s a place she loves and doesn’t think she can give up. Arguably, Warren’s choices are even more difficult. He knows if he does this, his relationship and happiness with Sarah will come at the cost of someone else’s feelings. On the scales does one happiness outweigh another? Or are some costs simply too great? I simply loved this book and although it’s only January I have no doubt this will be in my best books list come the end of the year. On the strength of this novel I would happily read everything else the author’s ever written.
The Midnight Hour by Eve Chase
Maggie is an author, living in Paris and struggling with writer’s block. Something from her shared past with brother Kit keeps coming into her mind. Her mother Dee Dee died from cancer recently, but Maggie’s mind is drawn back to her late teenage years when Dee Dee was a famous model, living close to the Portobello Road. Maggie took Kit out with his skateboard and he has a fall, breaking one of the wheels. A stranger comes to their aid, introducing himself as Wolf. When his eyes lock with Maggie’s they’re the clearest blue she’s ever seen, there’s also a spark between them and for Maggie it’s instantaneous. First time and first sight love. He recognises the connection too. It’s what makes him take the skateboard back to his uncle’s antique shop and use his tools to properly fix it, just so he has an excuse to go back. I fell in love with Maggie. I was a similar age when I first fell I love and reading about her summer with Wolf brought back all those feelings. The wonderment when someone suddenly becomes your absolute world. The beautiful surprise when they feel exactly the same. The discovery of sexual chemistry, totally losing yourself in another person, being vulnerable physically and emotionally, it’s all here. In very delicate strokes Eve sketches a teenage girl who is emotional and intelligent. Little hints about her physical appearance makes us aware that she is a curvy girl, she wears glasses and is a little lacking in confidence. She’s astonished that Wolf loves these things about her and Eve captures that self-consciousness, the apprehension about revealing her body to this young man totally swept away by his obvious desire for her. She and Wolf never had a proper ending and I found myself longing for that closure to happen when she comes back to England. This was a wonderful read, deeply emotional but also a compelling mystery. I honestly think this is Eve’s best novel yet!
The Moon Gate by Amanda Geard
1939 – Grace Grey lives in Grosvenor Place in London, with her mother Edeline who is a friend of the notorious Mosleys and wears the uniform of the Blackshirts. As war comes ever closer, Edeline makes the decision to send Grace and the housekeeper’s daughter Rose Munro to stay with her brother Marcus and his wife Olive on the north west coast of Tasmania. After an eight week voyage the girls are welcomed to Towerhurst, an unusual house with a whole tower where Uncle Marcus writes his poetry. Olive immediately takes to the beautiful Rose, but Marcus forms a bond with Grace over the poems of Banjo Patterson, an Australian ballad poet. Grace is reserved and shy, but is slowly coaxed out of her shell by Daniel McGillycuddy an Irish lad working at his aunt and uncle’s sawmill. As war creeps ever nearer to their part of the Pacific there are dangerous emotional games at play between these young people with fall out that will extend over the rest of the century. The main love story is so touching as the slightly awkward Grace is lured down to the beach by neighbour Daniel where he tries to kiss her. Sadly though it’s for a five shilling bet and as his mates turn up in a boat to witness her humiliation she runs away into the sea. Daniel regrets his actions deeply, apologising the very next day and asking if Grace would perhaps share the book of ballads she’d been telling him about. They pass through the Moon Gate, a perfectly round doorway made of Atlantisite that leads to the waterfall and a small freshwater pool. Uncle Marcus claims that to pass through the gate is to become a new person and that certainly seems the case with Grace who not only forgives Daniel, but shares the ballad poems and agrees that he can teach her to swim. It’s so beautiful to watch them become close friends. As we passed through the three timelines in this book I was hoping with everything I had that eventually these two would end up together.
Spirited by Julie Cohen
Viola Worth has grown up cared for by her clergyman Father, as well as his ward, a little boy called Jonah. Viola and Jonah are the best of friends, spending their childhoods largely inseparable. As we meet them in adulthood, they are getting married, but in mourning. A lot has happened during the period of their engagement. Jonah had been out to India, staying at his family’s haveli and checking on his financial interests. For Viola, it’s been a tough time nursing, then losing, her father. He encouraged her in his own profession as a photographer and she has become accomplished in her own right. Viola’s father wanted her to marry Jonah, and they are still the best of friends, but the time apart has changed them and neither knows the full extent of the other’s transformation. Through new friends the couple meet a visiting spirit medium called Henriette, although as daughter of a clergyman, Viola would never normally enjoy this type of entertainment. Little do they know, this woman will change their lives. Jonah spends less time with Viola than before and at bedtime they still go to their separate bedrooms. Viola knows there is more between husband and wife but doesn’t really know what and has no idea who to talk to. Yet between her and Henriette, a beautiful connection is blossoming and it’s so beautifully written. It is Henriette who opens up the world for Viola and this extends to sharing a bed. Viola worries what the servants might think, but Henriette frees her thinking again. Love between women does not exist, she tells her, there are laws and conventions regarding love between a man and a woman, and even the love between men. What they are to each other is beyond the thoughts of most people, the servants will see two friends staying together and nothing more.They’re neither totally respectable, but are not shunned either. This is a novel of people, particularly women, learning to live in the spaces between; the places that promise more freedom.
You Are Here by David Nicholls
A group of friends travel from London to the Lake District to walk some of Wainwright’s routes through Cumbria towards the Pennines. Cleo has invited four single friends; Conrad is meant for copy editor Marnie and Tessa is intended to get on with geography teacher and dedicated walker Michael who is extending his trip to walk the entire coast to coast, ending in Robin Hood’s Bay. Michael is still getting over separating from his wife so finds these social occasions difficult, much preferring solitude. Marnie spends much of her time alone too, so this will be a step out of their comfort zone for both of them. When the others bail out after a day of endless rain, Marnie and Michael are left to walk together. Can they both strike up a friendship? David Nicholls has this amazing ability to articulate the minutiae of conversation and communication between the opposite sexes. He’s also brilliant with those tiny moments of shared humour, stolen glimpses and the body language of love. It may seem strange that a whole book is about two people walking across the country, but everything happens within that time spent together. After a couple of days Michael can see that Marnie is an inexperienced walker but determined, intelligent and well-read. She has been in relationships that eroded her confidence, has a keen sense of humour but tends to lose it a little when tired and hungry. Marnie is surprised by Michael. Although she knows little about geography she can appreciate how passionate he is about his subject, he wears his beard as a mask so that people keep their distance, is perfectly comfortable in his own company and is hurt very badly by the break-down of his marriage. This isn’t two young people swept up in the blind passions of love at first sight. This is a slow burn. It’s a potential romance that grows slowly and unexpectedly for both of them. It’s lovely to read a ‘real’ love story about people who are older and have been kicked about a bit by love in the past.
By the end my heart was breaking for these fledglings. I so wanted them both to be happy, even if they simply ended as friends. David Nicholls throws in one last obstacle that takes us by surprise, even while my heart was racing I could see how much it was needed for that character to have a final epiphany. He’s brilliant at creating that bittersweet feeling that comes as we’re older and have romantic baggage. At first when we lose someone the shock and pain is everything, then after time and doing a little bit of work on ourselves a day hopefully comes where we can look back and it not hurt. We can acknowledge the pain but not let it overwhelm us. In fact, eventually, we can look back and smile about the good times, the love that was shared and how glad we are that we experienced it. That we’re able to move forward and enjoy new adventures. I really understand this from my own life and I genuinely closed the book with a smile on my face, knowing that both Marnie and Michael have so much life to look forward to whether together or apart on their journey.
Shark Heart by Emily Habeck
Lewis and Wren have fallen in love. They’ve no idea that their first year of marriage will also be their last. It’s only weeks after their wedding when Lewis receives a rare and shocking diagnosis. He has an unusual mutation. Although he might retain some of his consciousness, his memories and possibly his intellect, his body will become that of a Great White Shark. Lewis is complicated, an artist at heart he has always wanted to write the great American play for his generation. How will his liberal and loving heart beat on within the body of one of the earth’s most ruthless predators? He also has to come to terms with never fulfilling his dreams, but expressing that anger with shark DNA in his system has huge repercussions. He has to come to terms with leaving Wren behind, for her own safety. Wren wants to fight on. To find a way of living and loving each other as Lewis changes. She is told that there will come a point when this will be too dangerous. Lewis will then have to live in a state run facility or free in the ocean. It’s when she sees a glimpse of his developing carnivorous nature that a memory from her past is triggered. Wren has to make a terrible, heart-wrenching decision. I felt emotionally devastated by this beautiful novel that uses a fantastical premise to unleash experiences of grief, love, loss and potentially, healing.
In a beautifully unusual way and in an almost poetic prose, this beautiful debut is about life. It’s ups and downs, the horrendous losses and the gains: the naivety of first love, becoming a mother, our love and care for an elderly parent, friendships and realising that a special little girl sees you as her dad. Life is constant adaptation, evolving and developing all the time. Every end is a beginning. This is such a special novel, an incredible debut with such a keen grasp of what being human is all about. I can see this becoming an all-time favourite for me. It quite simply took my breath away.
The Mix Tape by Jane Sanderson
Alison and Dan live in Sheffield in the late 1970s when the city was still a thriving steel manufacturer. Dan is from the more family friendly Nether Edge, while Alison is from the rougher Attercliffe area, in the shadow of a steel factory. They meet while still at school and Dan is transfixed with her dark hair, her edge and her love of music. Their relationship is based on music and Dan makes mix tapes for her to listen to when they’re not together such as ‘The Last Best Two’ – the last two tracks from a series of albums. What he doesn’t know is how much Alison needs that music. To be able to put it on as a wall of sound between her and her family. Dan never sees where she lives and doesn’t push her, he only knows she prefers his home whether she’s doing her homework at the kitchen table, getting her nails painted by his sister or sitting with his Dad in the pigeon loft. Catherine, Alison’s mum, is a drinker. Not even a functioning alcoholic, she comes home battered and dirty with no care for who she lets into their home. Alison’s brother, Pete, is her only consolation and protection at home. Both call their mum by her first name and try to avoid her whenever possible. Even worse is her on-off lover Martin Baxter, who has a threatening manner and his own key. Alison could never let Dan know how they have to live.
About three quarters of the way through the book I started to read gingerly, almost as if it was a bomb that might go off. I’ve never got over the loss of Emma in One Day and I was scared. What if these two soulmates didn’t end up together? Or worse what if one of them is killed off by the author before a happy ending is reached? I won’t ruin it by telling any more of the story. The tension and trauma of Alison’s family life is terrible and I dreaded finding out what had driven her away so dramatically. I think her shame about her mother is so sad, because the support was there for her and she wouldn’t let anyone help. She’s so fragile as a teenager and on edge. Dan’s mum had reservations, she was worried about her youngest son and whether Alison would break his heart. I love the music that goes back and forth between the pair, the meaning in the lyrics and how they choose them. This book is warm, moving and real. I loved it.
Flamingo by Rachel Elliot
In split time frames and across the characters of Eve and Daniel we hear the story of two families who live next door to each other. Eve and Daniel move in next door to Leslie and Sherry who have two daughters Rae and Pauline, and some ornamental flamingoes on their front lawn. Eve isn’t used to making friends as she and her son Daniel move around a lot, but there’s something about Sherry. So Eve goes to a specialist off-licence to find just the right bottle of Sherry to take to her new neighbour. Sherry is delighted and immediately welcomes the wandering pair into her home. That summer is the happiest summer mother and son have ever had, as they are enveloped by this wild, eccentric and loud family – Eve uses the word rambunctious. Then Eve and Daniel leave. All the colours seem to bleach out of the world. We then meet Daniel as an adult, wandering and broken. Deeply affected by some kind words and affection from a woman in the library, he decides to return to where he was happiest. He turns up at Sherry’s door and it feels like coming home, but where is Eve and what is the story underneath the one Daniel knows. It’s so hard to express how much I loved this book. This is a slow burn novel, told in fragments like half forgotten memories and with such beauty it could be a poem. The writer conveys beautifully how certain people can heal wounds and hold space for each other. In light of recent times it’s important to remember that to live fully we must connect with each other. It shows humans in their best light and at their most powerful, when showing love and accepting others for who they are. Just like the flamingo is pink through his diet, we too are shaped by what is put into us. Through Daniel, and Rae to an extent, there’s an acknowledgment of how painful life can be, but that healing and change is possible. I was enchanted by this story and it will keep a special place in my heart.
Expiration Dates by Rebecca Serle
It’s been a while since a romantic novel has made me shed tears but I reached just over half way through Rebecca Searle’s new novel and I felt a lump forming in my throat. My reaction was possibly more emotional than the average, because I felt seen. Rebecca has this habit of taking what seems like a simple romance and adding an element that immediately elevates it to something more. Daphne lives in L.A. and works as an assistant to a film maker, outside of work she is a busy bee flitting between visiting her parents, spending time with her dog Murphy and roaming flea markets for quirky household items. However, her favourite weekend mornings are those she spend with her ex-boyfriend Hugo: he wakes her early, they get to an early farmer’s market for the best choices such as the sunflowers that are always gone by ten am. Daphne is single, at a point in life where people she knows are staying together, having babies and getting married. She tends to have short term relationships, but she is starting to wonder about all these things. Are they something she’ll ever find? Her friends can’t understand it, she’s a great girl, and have started to offer to their friends and work colleagues as potential dates. What they don’t know is that Daphne keeps a box under her bed and in it are post-it notes, drinks coasters and theatre tickets all which have the name of a boyfriend and a length of time, an expiration date.These cards enter her life around the same time as a new man so she knows the finite amount of time they have together. This bit of magic from the universe is amazing in some ways, but in other ways she’s starting to think they hold her back. Are they starting to become a self fulfilling prophecy? Then her friend Kendra sets her up with Jake and Daphne waits for her expiration date to arrive. This time though, it’s just a name; no date. Does this mean Jake is the one?
Jake couldn’t be more perfect. He’s attractive and intelligent. More importantly he’s kind and considerate. At first, Daphne isn’t sure but for once they have all the time in the world for her to explore and see where the relationship and her feelings go. Jake has emotional depth and a willingness to put those emotions on the line. Jake was married once and his wife died. Daphne marvels at his ability to be vulnerable when he has lost so much. It also worries her, because she holds a secret that has the ability to shatter this fragile and tentative relationship they’ve built. She has a perfect man who wants to live together, to marry and build a future. Everyone says he’s perfect, but is he perfect for Daphne? I couldn’t help but keep thinking back to Hugo, who seems like the one who got away. He knows everything about Daphne, the secret and the expiration dates, but he’s still here. If they’d had the chance of an open ended relationship, might they have been perfect for each other? For Daphne, falling in love has never been simple and I really related to that. I think a lot of other readers will too.
Remember Me by Charity Norman
Emily is a children’s illustrator, who spent her childhood in Hawke’s Bay but now lives in London. One evening she receives a call from her father’s neighbour, Raewynn, letting her know that his Alzheimer’s has progressed and he needs a little help. Despite both her brother and sister still living in New Zealand, Raewynn thinks Emily is the one best disposed to make the right decision. Emily’s father is well known in the area and is still known as Dr. Fitzgerald despite his retirement. He still lives on the family’s homestead with his two dogs and next door Raewynn and her son Ira who rents and farms the Arapito land. Until now they’ve managed to look after Dr. Fitzgerald, but trusting Raewynn’s opinion Emily decides to travel and check on her father. When she arrives she knows all is not well, her father has become very adept at seeming okay, he’s rather like a magician, creating a Dr Fitzgerald who everyone knows and recognises, while underneath feeling confused, bewildered and frightened. As Emily spends more time in her childhood home, memories rise to the surface: the unhappiness of her mother; her father’s distraction and avoidance of his family; the disappearance of Raewynn’s daughter Leah, who was lost on their range of mountains and has never been found. Emily was the last one to see Leah alive and the loss of this vibrant and beautiful girl still haunts the whole valley including, it seems. As his memory fades and his guard slips, she begins to understand him for the first time – and to glimpse shattering truths about his past. Oh how unbelievably emotional I felt at the end of this book, not just a lump in my throat, but actual tears. Yet I also felt such a feeling of ‘rightness’ that it ended the way it should.
Happy Valentine’s Day and here’s to a few more years of loving books ❤️📚
There are three rules about ghosts. Rule #1: They can’t speak. | Rule #2: They can’t move. | Rule #3: They can’t hurt you.
Ezra Friedman grew up in the family funeral home which is complicated for someone who can see ghosts. Worst of all was his grandfather’s ghost and his disapproving looks at every choice Ezra made, from his taste in boys to his HRT-induced second puberty. It’s no wonder that since moving out, he’s stayed as far away from the family business as possible.
However, when his dream job doesn’t work out, his mother invites him to Passover Seder and announces she’s running away with the rabbi’s wife! Now Ezra finds himself back at the funeral home to help out and is soon in the thick of it. He has to deal with his loved ones and his crush on Jonathon, one of their volunteers. Jonathon is their neighbour so Ezra is trying to keep the crush under wraps while also dealing with Jonathon’s relative, a spectre who’s keen on breaking all the rules. Ezra must keep his family together and avoid heartbreak, but is starting to realise there’s more than one way to be haunted.
This book came totally out of left field and I didn’t know what to expect at all, but I fell in love with it. I do connect to books about grief and loss as it’s something I’ve gone through but I also loved it’s emphasis on family, culture and tradition. Yes the book is about grief, but it’s also about love. Ezra is a Jewish trans man so it’s also firmly based in the queer community and I enjoyed that too. The romance is quiet and more of a slow burn than the heat of passion, tempered by Jonathon’s recent loss of his father. It depicts the chaos and disruption of death beautifully, especially in how it affects family members differently and can come between them. Ezra and the funeral staff treat deceased persons with respect; they’re both gentle and caring in their work with them and their grieving families. The author takes us deeply into the customs and rituals surrounding a death in a Jewish family and I find this so interesting because we can all learn from each other’s ceremonies and traditions. I felt that their attention to detail and the respect they had for the people brought to their funeral home was ultimately life affirming. Their deference shows how precious life is and that our relationships with family are the most important thing of all.
I also loved the author’s focus on something that I think is the secret to a happy and contented life – being your authentic self. We can see how Ezra’s connection to his communities – family, religion and the queer community – grounds him and reminds him of who he is. When we’re not true to who we are we start to feel dislocated and uncomfortable. Through Ezra’s story we explore how to find yourself again and hopefully be your authentic self. The book felt so much more than a romance, because it’s really a family story too. With a delicate touch the author also brings a light humour to the story, softening the grief and loss without being disrespectful which is a difficult balance to find. It surprised me that this was a debut novel because she’s managed that balance perfectly. My only criticism is that I was hoping for more ghosts. They were more of a background feature than relevant to the plot and from the blurb and title I expected more. Having said that it’s still a great story and I’d love to read more from this writer.
Published Aug 2024 from Trapeze.
Meet the Author
Shelly Jay Shore (she/they) is a writer, digital strategist, and nonprofit fundraiser. She writes for anxious queer millennials, sufferers of Eldest Daughter Syndrome, recovering summer camp counselors, and anyone struggling with the enormity of being a person trying to make the world kinder, softer, and more tender. Her work on queer Jewish identity has been published by Autostraddle, Hey Alma, and the Bisexual Resource Center.
For years and years, when I’m asked the question which book has hit me hardest emotionally I’ve always had to say One Day by David Nicholls. It’s the last book that made me cry spontaneously for one of the characters. I still remember the exact line. Now I’ll be able to say Leaving was the last book that absolutely tore my heart out. Sarah sees Warren, who she dated for a while in their college years. She had ended it, unsure whether they were a good fit. Yet they never stopped thinking about each other. Sarah is divorced now and lives alone in her country home with her dog Bella for company. She has a daughter who’s married and lives a distance away with her husband and two children. Sarah works at a gallery, currently putting together an exhibition about the Bloomsbury Group. Warren lives just outside Boston and has his own architectural practice in the city. He’s married to Janet, exactly the sort of wife he has needed: attractive, a good hostess and great mum to their daughter Kattie who is an older teenager. However, his wife is also a snob, very aware of who should be in their social circle and how things should be done. They don’t talk about current affairs together, listen to an opera or read the same books. Perhaps their marriage has always been like this, but it feels empty since he saw Sarah again. Can he spend the rest of his life in this marriage as he promised or can he be with Sarah? If he leaves what price will he have to pay?
This novel is so clever in the way it engages with your morals and emotions. I was so caught up with the romance of Sarah and Warren, so much sweeter because it is second time around. I felt their urgency. It’s unthinkable thar they shouldn’t grab, what feels like, a last chance of happiness. I felt so much for Sarah, who is an intelligent and self-sufficient woman post divorce. She has such a solitary life, seemingly with a handful of friends. Her life is made up of her job, her home with poodle Bella and occasional visits with her daughter and son-in-law. I loved the tender moments she has with her dog, something I understand completely and just as important as anyone else when considering big life decisions. It feels like she’s where she belongs on the edge of the reservoir walking with her canine companion, so in tune together. She does feel a little remote from her daughter, wanting to be like other grandmothers who look after their grandchildren regularly and have one multi-generational family. Sarah doesn’t quite feel invited into her daughter’s life. I didn’t feel any dislike for her or begrudge her happiness with Warren, even though it comes at the cost of his wife’s happiness. They felt easy and uncomplicated together. Sarah thinks of his wife but doesn’t feel like the other woman because he was hers first. Their relationship is a continuation of something started long ago, or is this simply their justification for something outside their normal moral code. The author beautifully captures those heady romantic moments of a new relationship with simple moments, the joy of receiving flowers or the secret smile that comes from a loving text in the middle of a working day. Sarah doesn’t lie to her own children, she tells them she’s seeing someone from her past. That he’s married. They are happy for her.
Warren’s life is more complicated. The author takes us between his and Sarah’s inner thoughts seamlessly. They are two halves of a whole. By comparison his married life feels mundane and rather one note, but it’s unfair to compare a new love or even a recaptured love with thirty years of married life. A few deft touches show us a marriage that’s become routine, Janet’s red house dress being just one. The reappearance of a frozen chicken pot pie is a beautifully used example. It appears early on, only to be replaced with a beautifully cooked beef bourguignon as Janet tries to win her husband back. It promises so much, this is how it will be from now on. Only to revert to chicken pot pie again, but it isn’t just a pie, it signifies a marriage that’s fallen back into a well worn groove. It screams ‘is this it?’ Janet has done nothing wrong, they haven’t had a bad marriage and when Warren feels the weight of those years there’s a fondness, a gratitude for all those shared moments that make up a marriage. He is both grateful for them and buried beneath them. Does he deserve to climb out from underneath them? Or is it an unforgivable betrayal of everything they’ve shared as a couple and a family?
I loved some of the subplots to the main love story. I found Sarah’s work fascinating. I remember talking to someone ar the V & A about one of their fashion exhibits and the process of creating something with such impact. I hadn’t known a job existed where you could sit and discuss a artist’s work, then choose the pieces you want to tell a story. I thought the quandary over whether to go with a well- known scholar on the Bloomsbury group versus a newer academic voice echoed the love story so completely. The best known scholar may promise something new but will likely deliver something competent but safe. The newer voice might offer something dynamic and new but they aren’t a very big name yet, is newer always better? Sarah’s daughter’s third pregnancy isn’t easy and terrible news brings Sarah deeper into their lives and closer to her grandchildren. I also loved how Kattie’s wedding placed stress on her whole family, especially where Janet wants the big, formal society wedding and her daughter starts to feel overwhelmed. The wedding planner tells them that a wedding is basically a microcosm of society, the one of which their family is a part. People aren’t perfect, so weddings never are either. Neither is marriage.
Everything about this novel rings true, from the details that set each scene to the love story that binds everything together. It’s exquisitely written, drawing you in so very slowly, then unravelling quickly to it’s emotional conclusion. There’s a point in the book where I have never wanted to slap a character more! Even though their actions are understandable and possibly morally justified, I was still absolutely furious and had to share the story with my husband whose immediate response was exactly the same. Once an affair starts to turn into something more, so many decisions have to be made and the sacrifices those choices will create become stark and very real. Sarah has imagined living with Warren, but she’s always thought of them at her home. This is where she rebuilt herself after her divorce. It’s a place she loves and doesn’t think she can give up. Arguably, Warren’s choices are even more difficult. He knows if he does this, his relationship and happiness with Sarah will come at the cost of someone else’s feelings. On the scales does one happiness outweigh another? Or are some costs simply too great? I simply loved this book and although it’s only January but I have no doubt this will be in my best books list come the end of the year. I would happily read everything else the author’s ever written.
Published by Magpie Feb 2024
Meet the Author
Roxana Robinson is the author of eleven books: seven novels, three story collections, and the biography of Georgia O’Keeffe. Four of these were New York Times Notable Books.
Robinson was born in Kentucky, but grew up in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. She attended Bennington College and graduated from the University of Michigan. She worked in the art world, specializing in the field of American painting, before she began writing full-time. Her novel, Cost, was a finalist for the NEBA, was named one of the five best fiction books of the year by the Washington Post and received the Fiction Award from the Maine Publishers and Writers Association.Her novel, Sparta, was named one of the ten best books of the year by the BBC, and won the James Webb Award for Distinguished Fiction from the USMC Heritage Foundation, and the Fiction Award from the Maine Publishers and Writers Association. Her fiction has appeared in The Atlantic, The New Yorker, Harper’s, Tin House, Best American Short Stories, and elsewhere. Her non-fiction has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Bookforum, Harper’s, and elsewhere. She was twice a finalist for the NBCC Balakian Award for Criticism and has received fellowships from the National Endowment for the Arts and the Guggenheim Foundation. She teaches at Hunter College, has twice served on the board of PEN, and was President of the Authors Guild, where she continues to serve as a member of the Council. She lives in New York and Connecticut, and spends as much time as she can in Maine.
For the last four years I’ve been choosing my favourite books of the according to the year – Top 23 of 2023. I realised that would have to stop, otherwise I’d be doing my top 30 in a few years and that would be ridiculous. So I’ve limited myself to 20 and it’s been so hard. I’ve had to be ruthless. I enjoyed every one of these books, despite their different genres, because of the psychological elements: anxiety about the state of the world; relationship dynamics; becoming radicalised; events from the past marring the future; what makes someone kill; growing up with loss. Also, as you’d perhaps expect considering everything we have to worry about in today’s world, there are allusions to climate change, anti -vaxxers, pandemics, war, misogyny and violence against women, the wellbeing industry and psychological problems. There’s so much to wrap your reading brain around here so I’m going to whet your appetite…
This Squad Pod read from early 2024 kept me on the edge of my seat throughout. It was like a breath of fresh air. Cole is a great husband to wife Melanie, in fact he would definitely say he’s one of the good guys. So when his marriage ends he can’t understand what he’s done wrong. In the aftermath he moves to an isolated coastal area and meets artist Lennie who lives in the cottage on the cliff. Soon they’re tentatively embarking on a relationship, but when two activists go missing during their coastal walk to publicise violence against women it disrupts everything and the police are starting to ask questions. The twists in this book are brilliantly executed and totally unexpected. It’s daringly different and left me so much to think about.
Charity Norman always leaves us with a lot to think about, but this latest novel was particularly thought provoking. Scott and Livia have two children and are always on call to help Scott’s brother, who has Down’s Syndrome. It’s Scott’s inability to help his brother one Saturday morning followed by his sudden death that starts a downward spiral. One careless comment about his brother’s care sets Scott on a search for answers, branching into medical conspiracy theories and the dark web. So when son Noah falls ill, Scott has an online community ready to feed into his distrust and his grip on reality starts to slide, dragging his family with him. As their marriage begins to fall apart, Livia can’t support or even understand her husband’s perspective. In fact he’s become a danger to his children and she must protect them, whatever it takes. This is a brilliantly drawn study of how social media can lead to obsession and allow sinister, unscrupulous people to take advantage of those who are vulnerable. It’s also a painfully accurate depiction of marriage breakdown and a perfect book club choice.
This was another book where marriage breakdown is depicted in painstaking detail. It reads like a thriller where different perspectives and revelations constantly change our perceptions of a situation. It’s like a whodunnit, except the death we’re mourning is the death of a relationship. Bea and Niklas have been together for thirty years and live a comfortable life in Stockholm with their children. Yet one night, after what feels like a trivial argument Niklas walks out and doesn’t come home. Weeks pass where Niklas takes a break and Bea is constantly pushing for answers, but when he returns to their flat he stuns Bea by asking for a divorce. For Bea this has come completely out of the, but is it as unexpected as she claims? Bea narrates the first half of this novel and halfway through the narrative returns to the beginning and Niklas tells us his version of events, which is very illuminating and may change the readers mind about their marriage. This is a simple device that works to devastating effect. I felt genuinely sad for this couple, because neither of them are bad people. It explores boundaries and the unhealthy reasons people can end up together. It’s also a response to grief, beautifully played out over decades. Utterly brilliant.
This is the fifth instalment of Will Dean’s Tuva Moodysson series and it was an absolute cracker. Tuva is investigating further north from Gavrik to an even more isolated town on the edge of the arctic circle. Essleburg is a town where everyone knows everyone else and there’s only one way in or out. A huge tunnel under a mountain provides access to the town, but closes down at night. Once you’re in, you’re in for the night and so is everyone else. From her hotel room at the sun-bed store Tuva sets out to look for a missing teenage boy, drawn by the fact that he is also deaf. But when bodies are found Tuva must face facts, the boy could be one of the victim and if not, could he be the killer? With it’s usual quirky characters and alien landscape, Tuva’s world is as isolating as it is disorienting. As usual Will Dean knows when to ratchet up the tension and when Tuva is in danger it’s absolutely heart-racing stuff.
As all of you know I’m a massive Skelf fan and this addition to the series was brilliant. Every Skelf novel begins with a funeral and they rarely go off without a hitch. This one is no exception, with a drone buzzing the ceremony and it’s guests. Could it be to do with the deceased or has someone got it in for the Skelf women? Jenny’s case follows on from the last book and the cops they investigated for sexually abusing young girls in the travelling community. Both are inexplicably out on bail and Jenny likes to know where they are at all times. Daughter Hannah’s case concerns Brodie the new recruit to the undertaking business. Brodie finds strange scrabbled marks around his baby son’s grave and Hannah sets up a camera, but when told that Brodie hears voices she wonders if he might have gone to the grave and acted subconsciously. Dorothy’s case comes from her involvement with a community choir that includes some Ukrainian war widows. One of the women, Yanna, has gone missing. Her husband Fedir was killed over a year ago and now she’s left her two small children with her mother-in-law. Could she have returned to Ukraine to fight, or has something happened to her? Each of the Skelf women feel vulnerable this time and I felt like the author was playing on my emotions a little. I could sense we were on the verge of a huge change and it left me on tenterhooks throughout.
I absolutely loved this book. From the very first line – ‘there is someone in the house’ – this book grabs you and never lets go. Our narrator is at her secluded home with her two small children in a blizzard. The sound she hears is a familiar one, a tread on the stairs to her room, but it’s unusually heavy and slow. She has a split second to make the decision – does she hide, try to run or stay and fight. Will all three of them get out alive and if they do will anyone believe her? The first thing that hit me about this book was the unique the narrator’s unique voice. We see everything through her eyes and experience everything her body goes through – the heart-stopping tension of that first night with it’s immediate threat renders everything else unimportant. I should trust what she is experiencing. It’s just so incredibly odd. This tall intruder seems to have two voices: one is harsh and angry the other is soft, wheedling – a voice you might use for children as he asks them to ‘come out little pigs, little pigs are more delicious’. Her little girl identifies him as ‘Corner Man’ from her nightmares. Often sitting in the corner of her bedroom at night whispering to her. My heart was in my throat at this point! Was he real or something supernatural? Could he possibly be real if this is true? Yet I wondered if this overwrought mother is imagining this person, but that opens up a more frightening prospect – is she hallucinating and terrorising her own children with her delusions. The author plays with the reader beautifully from start to finish.
Surprisingly this was my first Peter May novel and is a sequel to his crime novels set in the Hebrides. Once a detective and now retired, Fin is drawn back to Lewis by family, when Caitlin Black’s body is discovered on a remote beach. Only eighteen years old, Caitlin was a student at the Nicholson Institute. When it emerges that she was having an illicit affair with Fionnlagh McLeod, her teacher and a married man twenty years her senior he becomes the prime suspect and is arrested on suspicion of her rape and murder. He is also Finn’s son. He must return to Lewis to support his daughter-in-law and granddaughter. He must also, despite the evidence against him, that he must try to clear his son’s name. As Fin travels around the island, he is drawn into past memories and soon realises this crime has echoes back into his own teenage past on the island. A terrible accident at a salmon farm caused two deaths, just as they started to expand on the island and become a multi-million pound industry. This is Finn’s journey, of family ties, secret relationships and the bleak and unforgiving landscape, where violence, revenge and old loyalties converge.
Frances McGrath is your typical All American teenage girl, living with her family on Coronado Beach, California. She has memories of growing up on that beach, swimming and surfing with her brother Finley. She is from a good family and expectations are that she will have the ‘right’ marriage and become a mother. However, things change when Finley makes a huge decision; he decides to enlist for Vietnam. It’s no surprise that he might go into military service at some point. Frankie’s dad has a wall in his office called the ‘Hero’s Wall’ where every family member’s military service is celebrated with cuttings, photos and medals. All the men, anyway. Yet not many of their friends and family members have sons who’ve voluntarily enlisted for Vietnam. There are ways of avoiding the draft, depending on who you know. Yet Finley enlists of his own accord, possibly believing the American government’s assertions that they must fight communism in Vietnam, lest it become even more widespread. Within weeks there’s a knock at the door; Finley has been killed in action. In a whirlwind of grief Frankie starts looking into her options. She wants to honour her brother and become a hero worthy of her father’s wall. Both the Air Force and Navy need a nurse to complete a long period of training before they’re posted to work in the field. However, if she enlists in the US Army, they’ll post her out to Vietnam after basic nursing training. Much to her parent’s shock Frankie is soon on her way to Vietnam. This is an incredible story about the horrors of war, falling in love and giving voice to the women forgotten in military history.
There have been some incredible historical novels this year, but I really was blown away by this story set just after WW1 and progressing to the mid-twentieth century. Two German sisters, Leni and Annette, live in Berlin and when we first meet them they’re in dire straits, living in a makeshift shelter in an abandoned garden. Thanks to war and the influenza epidemic they’ve lost their family. Leni gets a chance to earn some money at a notorious and rather seedy cabaret club called Babylon Circus. The naive and rather shy Leni becomes a cigarette girl in a second hand and pinned costume that just covers her modesty, but she is at first shocked by what she sees. With shades of the musical Cabaret the author creates a club that is a mirage of clever lighting, fairground mirrors and risqué musical numbers. It’s enchanting by dark and unwelcoming by day, but it doesn’t matter because this is the type of fun that can only be had at night. Everything is overseen by owner Dieter, a man with his own disguise having left half his face on a battlefield. When pianist Paul arrives, he and Leni start to gravitate towards each other. But Paul has a plan to leave Berlin and he would like to take Leni with him. We then move forward to the Cold War and a divided Berlin, where Annette has travelled from America to visit her sister and niece. The tensions and secrets of the Babylon Circus years still hang over the sisters, can they come to terms with the choices they made back then? Can Leni find a second chance of happiness? The author depicts her characters and the time period perfectly, with so much atmosphere. It’s an absolute must read.
Another amazing story set in Berlin is Josie Ferguson’s The Silence In Between. Imagine waking up and a wall has divided your city in two. Imagine that on the other side is your child…
Lisette is in hospital with her baby boy. The doctors tell her to go home and get some rest, that he’ll be fine. When she awakes, everything has changed. Because overnight, on 13 August 1961, the border between East and West Berlin has closed, slicing the city – and her world – in two. Lisette is trapped in the east, while her newborn baby is unreachable in the west. With the streets in chaos and armed guards ordered to shoot anyone who tries to cross, her situation is desperate. Lisette’s teenage daughter, Elly, has always struggled to understand the distance between herself and her mother, but perhaps she can do something to bridge the gap between them. What begins as the flicker of an idea turns into a daring plan to escape East Berlin, find her baby brother, and bring him home. The author takes us effortlessly back and forth in time to understand this family and my heart kept breaking for them over and over for. While I struggled to read it at first, I’m so happy that I went back to it because it was breathtaking. It was as if someone had bottled both moments in time and simply poured them onto the page, raw and confronting. This is an absolute must read for historical fiction fans and a book I will definitely go back to in the future.
Thanks for reading part one. Part 2 is coming tomorrow.
A single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife – so why choose her?
Katie Lumsden’s first novel – The Secrets of Hartwood Hall – was a fantastically addictive Gothic mystery where nothing was as it seemed. This second novel has the feel of Jane Austen; light, witty and full of gossip. In this comedy of manners, where class and family reputation is everything, scandal is just around the corner. Amelia Ashpoint is comfortable with her life as it is. She and her brother Diggory live at home with their wealthy father and younger sister Ada in their newly built mansion in the county of Wickenshire. Summer 1841 and at the start of marriage season Amelia is 23 and her father has decided he wants to secure a husband for her. He has his hopes for Mr Montgomery Hurst, the most eligible bachelor in their social set and the owner of stately home Radcliffe Park. At previous dinners and dances, he has sought Amelia for his dance partner and they chat comfortably together at dinner. Their easy manner has been noted in society. However, at the next society ball there is intrigue and shock. Mr Hurst has been secretly engaged elsewhere, to an unknown widow with three children. Their friends are appalled but Amelia feels nothing but relief. She has no interest in marriage at all. It seems society has big expectations for Amelia, but her heart lies in a very different direction.
There’s so much to like in this Regency tale and Amelia is the centre of the centre of that. She’s an intelligent young woman who really knows her own mind and accepts who she is. She also knows where her heart lies but realises it can never be made public. It’s interesting to watch her slowly realise that she’s no longer a girl but is considered a grown-up and there are expectations on young women to marry. She imagined spending her days at the family home with her father, never having to marry but hasn’t realised what her father already knows. He isn’t going to be here forever. He’s becoming anxious about making sure she is settled, because the truth is all of them will have to marry. The house and estate will go to her brother and whoever he chooses to marry will become the mistress of Ashpoint Hall. Ada is still a girl but there won’t necessarily be room for Amelia. If only everyone could have as simple and happy a marriage as the new Mrs Hurst. When Amelia visits Radcliffe she is heartened by their easy manner with each other and the very natural relationship he seems to have built with his new stepchildren. Everyone around Amelia, including her best friend Clara and even her brother Diggory, appears to understand this unwritten rule – it’s time to find a mate.
The author portrays Wickenshire society beautifully, detailing how much traditional country society has changed. The differences can be seen in the village’s gentleman’s club The Lantern, where one floor is for those deemed gentlemen and downstairs is for tenants and tradespeople. People like the foreman of the Ashpoint Brewery Mr Lonsdale and military men like Major Alderton. The Ashpoints are not aristocracy themselves, in fact Ashpoint Hall is relatively new despite it’s grandeur. They may be new money, but the fact they have so much of it qualifies them as acceptable in polite society. The Earl and Countess of Wickford are the pinnacle of county society, so when they have a ball, they invite everybody, including the Major and Mr Lonsdale, but they can only get away with this behaviour because they’re aristocracy. If anyone else invited such men to a soirée it could reflect badly on the host. However, the author shows very strongly that just because someone is viewed as a gentleman it doesn’t mean they behave as one. Amelia’s brother Diggory is horrified to find that his best friend Alistair, Viscount of Salbridge and heir to the current Earl, has a guilty secret. His behaviour shows he has no regard for those reliant on him for their wages, the roof over their head, or even for a woman’s honour. This discovery leads to such a parting of the ways that Diggory starts to frequent downstairs at The Lantern. The usual downstairs clientele would be considered beneath him normally, but he’s growing up quickly and making his own life choices. Ever since he decided to propose to Lady Rose he’s started a steep learning curve, working every day in the brewery and preparing to take over from his father. He’s also keen on showing Lady Rose’s parents that his intentions are serious, realising that men are not born with integrity and honour. Money is also no guarantee of a man’s good character. Falling in love has set Diggory on the path to be a better man, also abstaining from drinking and the dangerous levels of gambling that have been the norm for him and the Viscount.
Amelia also has to grow up a lot throughout the novel. The subject of a woman’s honour and her marriageability are the strongest theme in the novel. It’s clear that societies like Wickenshire are in flux. Amelia has been insulated by her father’s money, so up until now the reality of a woman’s choices in life haven’t touched her. It is only her money that makes Mr Hurst a possible mate, otherwise he would be completely out of reach. Meanwhile, some titled families are beginning to find themselves financially unstable, meaning they are having to cast their nets wider to find suitable marriage partners. Where once only a title would do, families might need to consider new money and potential grooms may have to support the whole family or maintain a huge mansion. This could be good news for Diggory and Lady Rose, who is horrified to find her parents in dire straits and in a hurry to find her a husband. If Diggory doesn’t secure his bride, anyone reasonably respectable might do! For Amelia it’s her best friend Clara’s potential suitors that shock her the most as she’s always assumed they were of the same mind. However, Clara’s family don’t have the financial stability of the Ashpoints so she doesn’t have the luxury of turning down good offers, even if it isn’t her inclination to marry. Amelia grows up and gains a lot of perspective listening to her friend’s dilemma, realising how lucky she is to have a family who can support her for life and a fledgling writing career to fall back on should her father’s plans come to nothing. When rumours start to spread about Mrs Montgomery Hurst, Amelia realises how even a whiff of scandal can ruin a woman and how polite society shuns those who stray from the accepted conventions. Could there be a way for Amelia to use her position to still the gossiping tongues and sway polite society to accept the family? This is also a timely reminder that her own perpetual single status could be the cause of gossip.
I loved this wonderful homage to Austen. It has everything: characters of all classes; light comedy; smart social events; a dissection of Regency love and the marriage market. The author then brings in themes that we might consider more modern, such as infidelity, domestic abuse and LGBTQ+ relationships too. Just as Sarah Waters did with the Victorian novel, Katie uses the format of a Regency novel to show us that these types of relationships did exist when Austen was writing. It’s a form of writing back; she’s placing people and themes that were not included in literature of the time back into their historical context and exploring how they might fit in that time period. It gives us a richer and more varied sense of how society might have been, touching on subjects that didn’t really start to appear in literature until Queen Victoria was on the throne. It was only a few decades later that the Brontë’s wrote about more complex relationships: Jane Eyre’s love for a married man, Anne Brontë’s Tenant of Wildfell Hall escaping from an abusive and violent marriage or Emily Brontë’s slightly incestuous and abusive relationship between Cathy and Heathcliff. These are very different novels though with a darker tone.
Katie has instead taken all the lightness and wit of Austen, making her novel such a pleasure to read, but brining darker and more complex themes under the surface. The opening scene of chaos as the Ashpoint family get ready for a ball while Ada sobs at the unfairness of having to stay at home, is reminiscent of the Bennett sisters in a similar situation. For Austen, the comedy of Mrs Bennett’s nerves, the preposterous Mr Collins and Mr Elton, as well as the romance of the storylines disguised more complex themes of a woman’s place in society and their inability to inherit, not to mention the awful fate of an unhappy marriage. Upon the death of their father, girls were often left at the mercy of distant male relatives and had no say over their own fate. Our heroine Amelia simply wants to achieve the best outcome for herself, knowing she doesn’t want to marry. All she wants is to live in her childhood home, write her books and to enjoy the company of her brother’s family when he inherits. Most of all she wants to have the personal freedom that characters like Lady Rose and her friend Clara sadly can’t have. You’ll keep turning the pages, hoping she can achieve it.
Meet the Author
Katie Lumsden read Jane Eyre at the age of thirteen and never looked back. She spent her teenage years devouring nineteenth century literature, reading every Dickens, Brontë, Gaskell, Austen and Hardy novel she could find. She has a degree in English literature and history from the University of Durham and an MA in creative writing from Bath Spa University. Her short stories have been shortlisted for the London Short Story Prize and the Bridport Prize, and have been published in various literary magazines. Katie’s Youtube channel, Books and Things, has more than 25,000 subscribers. She lives in London and works as an editor.
I’ve really enjoyed Sharon’s last couple of novels, because I love their mix of strong female protagonists who are facing challenges and growing into themselves. This novel focuses on sisters Nina and Bette, set on their family’s farm in Scotland. When their father dies they have no choice but to be under the same roof for the funeral. The sisters are very different, Bette is ten years older than Nina so the age gap meant they weren’t very close anyway, but when Bette left for university she never came back to the farm. Living in London, Bette is a sought after divorce lawyer and her work is her life. She flies back to Scotland the day before the funeral and aims to leave the next day. Nina is hostile towards her sister, she has the opinion that Bette left the farm and never looked back. As their mother tries to smooth things over, Nina is shocked to discover that Bette and her father kept in regular contact by email and that Bette paid for the new roof on the barn. Both sisters are shocked at the will reading when they find out that their father left them both the farm in two equal shares. However, there are massive debts to manage and Nina has always left the finances to their father, preferring to do the farm work than sit in the office. This is the only safe place Nina and her son Barnaby have ever lived. Could they be about to lose it? When getting the farm valued, Bette and the agent walk the perimeter on the land and stumble across a secret orchard, tucked away with it’s entrance concealed off the coastal path. Could this hidden fruit be the answer to their money woes and possibly a mystery to bring both of them together?
We’re drawn in by an intriguing prologue that suggests an historic love story between two local but rival families. I was dying for Bette and Nina to do some digging on this story and unravel their orchard’s complex back story. The author leaves the crumbs of this story to tantalise us while we move through the present day and the emotional aftermath of Nina and Bette’s father’s death. It’s clear from the outset that these two sisters could be an incredible team. Nina is good at the day to day farming work, rushing between baling and milking while also being there for her son Barnaby. I was on board with Barnaby straight away because he wears his Spider-Man costume everywhere, possibly even to his grandfather’s funeral. This titbit of character and humour reminded me of a little boy who always attended our church for Saturday evening mass and would go up the aisle during communion dressed in costume. Watching his long tail wend it’s way up the aisle so the priest could give a blessing to a mini dragon absolutely made my week. His mum made him take the head off for the blessing, but it was straight back on as he skipped back to his seat. Barnaby is a delight and I enjoyed watching him build a relationship with his Aunt Bette. Bette is brilliant with the financial and legal details, something nether Nina or their father has been able to do. She sets herself the task of working methodically through their chaotic office and showing the bigger picture; they might have been working themselves to the bone, but was all this work actually generating profit?
Bette understands legal procedures and processes too. When she explains they’ll have to get the farm valued Nina immediately flares up, she doesn’t want to sell the farm. She assumes Bette is looking to cash in, but when Bette explains it’s just the first stage in any plan they make whether that’s to sell or to finance the farm better for the future. She’s calmer and more patient with the process and because Bette’s less attached to the land she can make sensible, dispassionate choices which is just as vital for the farm’s survival. Added to the main plot of saving the farm there are a couple of sub-plots. Nina is often helped out around the farm by neighbouring farmer Cam, who is very capable and good with Barney, not to mention easy on the eye. What would I take for friendship to turn into love. There’s also the mystery of why Bette left the farm so definitively all those years ago and when Ryan enters the picture her reaction left me wondering if he was involved. Cam suggests a visit from an expert he knows, to see if the orchard is viable and what would be the best way to bring some income from it. Nina has never known why her sister left, so her reaction to Ryan is puzzling for her. He has great ideas for the apple trees, some of which appear to be very old species that are rarely grown. He sets them on a programme of managing the trees, pruning and grafting them to enhance their health and yield. There isn’t an off putting amount of detail on how to turn the orchard into a cider business, but there’s enough to pique the reader’s interest and I was rooting for the sister’s success.
The sisters have such depth to their characters and their lack of communication with each other has led to so much misunderstanding between them. Nina comes across as quite bitter towards Bette and to some extent she sees her sister as someone who has everything: the job, the money and the fancy London lifestyle. Actually it’s Nina whose had everything – a wonderful relationship with her father and precious time working together. She has Barnaby and although her relationship with his father broke down, she loves her son more than anything. With her mother living abroad with her new husband, Nina has taken on the lion’s share of the work around the farm and keeping an eye of their father but Bette has never expected any financial gain from the business, assuming that it belongs to Nina. I could see how the new plans might bring about a better personal relationship between them and I was kept reading by the promise of a warmer relationship between them, the makings of a new generation of the family. There’s a lot of forgiving to do here, but once they’d discussed why Bette left in the first place I could see another life opening up, one in which she might stay. As always with this author, this was such an uplifting and heartwarming story. The potential for both sisters to have their own love stories was also joyous to read, especially if you’re a sucker for an ‘enemies to lovers’ scenario. There are setbacks of course, some of them natural disasters and others caused by deep-seated rivalry. Sharon Gosling writes this type of story beautifully, as she weaves the threads of the sister’s story and the mystery surrounding the orchard’s origin, not to mention why it had been hidden all these years. The setting is wonderful, particularly the orchard with the salt air and the sounds of waves crashing against the cliffs. It’s so romantic and I loved the detail of how the salt permeates and changes the taste of the fruit making it so unique. This was a wonderfully escapist novel, driven by the character’s of Bette, Nina and of course, Barnaby. I thoroughly enjoyed being in their world for a while and I’m sure you will too.
Out 12th September from Simon and Schuster
Meet the Author
I’ve been writing since I was a teenager, which is now a distressingly long time ago! I started out as an entertainment journalist – actually, my earliest published work was as a reviewer of science fiction and fantasy books. I went on to become a staff writer and then an editor for print magazines, before beginning to write non-fiction making-of books tied in to film and television, such as The Art and Making of Penny Dreadful and Wonder Woman: The Art and Making of the Film.
I now write both children’s and adult fiction – my first novel was called The Diamond Thief, a Victorian-set steampunk adventure book for the middle grade age group. That won the Redbridge Children’s prize in 2014, and I went on to write two more books in the series before moving on to other adventure books including The Golden Butterfly, which was nominated for the Carnegie Award in 2017, The House of Hidden Wonders, and a YA horror called FIR, which was shortlisted for the Lancashire Book of the Year Award in 2018. My last children’s book (to date) is called The Extraordinary Voyage of Katy Willacott, and was published by Little Tiger in 2023.
My debut adult novel, The House Beneath the Cliffs, was published by Simon & Schuster in August 2021. Since then I’ve written three more: The Lighthouse Bookshop, The Forgotten Garden, and The Secret Orchard, which is out in September 2024. My adult fiction tends to centre on small communities – feel-good tales about how we find where we belong in life and what it means when we do. Although I have also published full-on adult horror stories, which are less about community and more about terror and mayhem…
I was born in Kent but now live in a very small house in an equally small village in northern Cumbria with my husband, who owns a bookshop in the nearby market town of Penrith.
Fiona Valpy is a newish author to me, someone that I’ve come across while blogging and I always request her books on NetGalley. I know I’m going to get a read that’s focused on women, their history and characters going through an experience that changes their outlook on life. I love the psychology behind these stories and this new novel was no exception, taking our main character through her family history to explore her identity and her direction now she’s in middle life. In two timelines we meet Violet Mackenzie- Grant and her great niece Daisy almost a century later. In 1927, Violet is leaving the family estate to focus on a new and exciting career path for women. Having watched her sister settle into the role of wife, Violet wants her life to be different and enrols at The Edinburgh School of Gardening for Women. Manual labour isn’t really what her family had in mind for her daughter, but Violet is so excited especially when she gets the chance to use her drawing skills to sketch plant specimens for the Edinburgh Botanical Gardens. She is thrilled to see the amazing plants being brought back from expeditions all over the world. Little does she know that this work will inspire a journey of her own; the trek of a lifetime to Kathmandu and beyond. In 2020, her great niece Violet Loverack has always dreamed of retracing Violet’s steps ever since she discovered her journals at the family home in Scotland. Her plant hunting exploits inspired Daisy’s own career as a landscape gardener, but from her tiny flat in London, Kathmandu has always seemed a long way away. Now divorced and with her last daughter leaving home for university, she’s made the decision to go on the trip of a lifetime. As she arrives in Nepal, ready for her trek into the Himalaya, fate has a different plan in store for her in the shape of the COVID pandemic. It prevents her mother joining her on the trip and soon after her arrival, the country is shut down leaving her stuck mid-way to the village Violet mentions with her two Sherpas. She must now undertake her journey alone with her guides, hoping for shelter at the same village. As she starts to piece together all the parts of Violet’s story she uncovers long held family secrets, can they inspire Daisy to find her own path forward and build a new life for herself?
I was so inspired by this story, especially the adaptability and courage of these women. It gave me the travel bug too and I booked a little trip to Venice half way through! Violet is an incredible character, brave and perhaps a touch naïve at first. She doesn’t want to be restricted by what her family and society expect for her, but isn’t quite prepared by how strong their beliefs and rigid class structure is. Even going away to study us a massive step away from that path of marriage and children her parents were hoping for and manual labour for a woman of Violet’s class is possibly unheard of. There’s an openness and freedom to how she thinks that’s partly being young, part never challenging the status quo before and partly her own restless spirit. Things changed rapidly after WW1 for both women and the rigid class structure of the Edwardians. There’s a definite generational gap between those who remember those early years of the early Twentieth Century and those born after the war. Men were more scarce and that applied particularly to women of Violet’s social standing. There were more spinsters at that time, but the war also had an effect on class. It’s a change watchers of Downton Abbey saw between the dowager Duchess played by Maggie Smith and her granddaughter Sybil, who elopes with the young chauffeur. The family also struggled to keep the estate financially viable and many aristocratic families at this time had to give up their stately homes or married American heiresses who were only to keen to gain a British title in return for fixing the stately home’s roof or paying the multiple death duties. Young people of the 1920’s were the flappers and bright young things of the ‘Roaring Twenties’. Violet’s parents seem relatively relaxed about her studying, but probably assume Violet will give it all up when the right man comes along. In finding him, I’m not sure Violet understood how restricted her choices actually were.
When Violet meets Callum Gillespie at the botanic gardens it’s a meeting of minds as well as hearts. Both love gardens and are inspired by the intrepid plant hunters who travel all over the world to bring back the specimens that Violet is sketching. They are experimenting by cultivating seeds and cuttings to see which plants grow well in the Scottish climate. Violet’s home is situated where the Gulf Stream brings milder temperatures and along with it”s mountainous countryside it could be the perfect site to cultivate plants coming from Nepal. Violet has fallen in love with the stunning Himalayan poppy, it’s sky blue petals and orange centre jumps out from the page and she’d love to grow it back home. Callum is going on the next expedition to Nepal, but first Violet takes him to meet her parents. It’s fair to say she’s stunned by their reaction. They insist that there’s no future in their relationship. He’s so far beneath them in class, that they couldn’t possible give their blessing to the relationship. Violet must break off their relationship. Determined to be with Callum, they both leave and spend the night in a nearby bothy together, cementing their union before a trip to Callum’s parents where they expect a better reception . Sadly things are equally awkward. Callum’s mother is uncomfortable when Violet tries to help out with tea. They are more used to working for people of Violet’s class, and to Callum’s embarrassment they act more like servants than family. They tell Callum he should look for a wife from his own class because this will never work and he could ruin Violet’s chances of a more suitable marriage. As Callum leaves for Nepal the pair are downcast and worry for their future. They continue to write to each other over the weeks and Violet becomes ever more sure that he is her soulmate. Surprise news makes Violet realise she wants to be with him, wherever he is and with the help of her sister she sets off to Nepal where life changing events await her.
Years later Daisy is setting out on the same journey. She’s recently been very uncertain about the direction of her life now she’s no longer a wife or a full-time Mum. I loved following her journey, taking Violet’s steps into the Himalaya and at such an extraordinary time too. While the landscape itself is unchanged, more and more tourists have made their own attempts to conquer Everest. Previously, the Nepalese people thought it disrespectful to the mountain goddess to climb her, but since then both the Tibetan and Nepalese governments have allowed tourism in the area. Of course this has opened up the small communities to the rest of the world and allowed communication links to and from the area. It was fascinating to read about the effects of tourism on the people and the delicate eco-system around them. Sherpas are now employed to to tackled the most dangerous aspects of climbing Everest. They know the mountain, the weather and the best paths to take. Some are employed to create paths of ladders across the glaciers and many lives are lost, depriving families of their fathers and the income. It was clever to set Daisy’s journey in the pandemic because she gets to see the valley where Violet lived without tourists. The place feels untouched and even more remote as tourists have rushed home and the villages are locked down. So Daisy gets to experience the trek very much like Violet did, it’s quiet, there’s nobody on the same path and when she reaches the village she’s so surprised to a warm welcome. She’ll have to quarantine of course, but she has a family here with so many cousins she’s lost count. She also has access to the rest of Violet’s journals and will be able to read what remains of her life story. Just as these people did for Violet when she arrived a century ago, they now take Daisy in and look after her,
I loved the equality of the village and I’m sure this is what Violet enjoyed too. There’s no class structure and seemingly no judgement either. She was taken in and as soon as a house becomes available it is cleaned and given to her for as long as she needs it. They don’t find industrious and hard working women an anomaly. This is somewhere Violet can settle and now Daisy can meet Violet’s descendants. Their societal structure is based on community and sharing. No one is without, but equally no one has ownership either. I loved how Daisy is inspired by the villagers and their generosity. It sparks a fire in her for community garden, partly to put something back into this wonderful place, a replacement for what years of visitors have taken. She also thinks it could work back home in Scotland, sharing some of the land that’s been her privileged birthright with the community. She inspires her daughters to improve the estate with an organic gardening project and more ethical values. The settings in the novel are incredible, equally beautiful but it’s hard not to be in awe of the incredible landscapes Daisy uncovers on each day’s trek. The valley between the mountains has its own climate and a unique combination of plants. I was blown away by the author’s description of the flower meadow which I pictured as a living rainbow of roses, rhododendrons and climbers. Of course there are also those vivid blue poppies and yes, I have already sourced some seeds. The idea of being above the clouds was incredible, almost as if it’s a magical, heavenly place.
Of course there are some darker moments. COVID hits the family hard, just as typhoid hit Violet’s plans a hundred years earlier. The trek is challenging as Daisy struggles with the altitude and the stamina required to reach the village, in fact she’s stunned by how sure footed and physically fit the older members of the community are. This was heartbreaking in parts but also incredibly uplifting. It left me thinking I could start to tick off those bucket list items and fulfil those dreams I had for my life but set aside when I first became ill. Daisy’s Sherpa has a great way of combatting her fears and anxieties about completing the trek. He tells her to keep taking small steps, one in front of the other and I think this is great advice for any overwhelming task and life in general. You only fail if you give up.
Out 10th September from Lake Union Publishing.
Meet the Author
Fiona is an acclaimed number 1 bestselling author, whose books have been translated into more than thirty different languages worldwide.
She draws inspiration from the stories of strong women, especially during the years of World War II. Her meticulous historical research enriches her writing with an evocative sense of time and place.
She spent seven years living in France, having moved there from the UK in 2007, before returning to live in Scotland. Her love for both of these countries, their people and their histories, has found its way into the books she’s written. Fiona says, “To be the first to hear about my NEW releases, please visit my website at http://www.fionavalpy.com and subscribe to the mailing list. I promise not to share your e-mail and I’ll only contact you when there’s news about my books.”
This is one of those books that needs to be discussed. A perfect book club choice or book you can foist onto a friend because you will want to discuss it. As the cover suggests this is a marriage and a book that splits into two – one of life’s seismic fault lines that has a very definite before and after. Niklas and Bea have been married for over thirty years with two teenage daughters Alexia and Alma. They have what most people would consider the perfect life. They live in a beautiful and sought after area of Stockholm in an apartment that Bea has spent so much time perfecting. They are currently remodelling the kitchen, but it’s bespoke and at huge cost. Niklas is a doctor and has recently taking a job heading up a maternity department. Historically, Bea stayed home with the girls and more recently took a job with the Red Cross. It doesn’t pay a lot but with Niklas’s new wage they don’t need to worry about it. As we meet the family they are preparing to take their annual summer holiday to Holgreps and the home of Niklas’s parents. They go every year at the same time as his brother Henke because this is the only time the cousins get to be together. Niklas has forgotten to book the ferry tickets and Bea is furious. This means spending an extra week in the sweltering heat of the city with no outside space or a long drive to a different ferry crossing. He only has to do one thing, she does everything else and he’s so wrapped up in his new job he can’t do it.
“Bea is busy emptying the dishwasher in the kitchen, but she stops as he comes in. The look on her face is demanding […] Her jaw seems tense, and he can see her chest rising and falling rapidly beneath her blouse. She is disappointed. No, disappointed probably isn’t the right word. She’s angry. Furious. How the hell could you forget to pay the bill? This means we can’t go to Gotland tomorrow, the tickets are all sold out!”
“Niklas feels like shouting back at her, telling her there are worse things. Like being a single mother who has just found out that her newborn son has Down’s syndrome, for example. Or being the man on the ICU ward, watching over his wife as his stillborn daughter is taken down to a cold storage unit two floors below. He feels like roaring that his head is so full there isn’t room for the damn ferry tickets and all the terrible, exhausting planning she has apparently had to do. Niklas wants to shout, but instead he turns and walks away while she is mid-sentence. He can hear Bea’s agitated voice behind him, but to his surprise, he just keeps on walking […] Each step is a relief.”
Bea narrates the first part of the book and we get the sense she feels badly done too. Niklas wouldn’t be where he is without her and she has made sure he lives up to his potential. She talked him into accepting the new job because left to his own devices he would still be pottering along in his paediatrician role at the small local hospital. It’s the same with the apartment, he couldn’t see the problem with the existing kitchen. He’d have made do with it for years, never thinking about what the room could be. Bea looks forward to Hogreps every year, she never really had much of a family herself especially after her brother Jacob died. In the aftermath Niklas had taken her to stay with his parents and on her first mornings there, his mother Lillias took Bea wild swimming. She credits those mornings with saving her sanity, more effective than counselling. Niklas had been Jacob’s friend so they shared their grief and it brought them together. Bea has always thought that anything they do together becomes fun, even if it’s taking items to the recycling tip. So it comes as a huge surprise to her when Niklas sends her a text message to say he isn’t coming home. There’s no further explanation and she doesn’t know if he means he isn’t coming home that afternoon, till tomorrow or at all. Bea’s texts and voicemails are ignored so she tells him that their daughter was expecting him to take her out in the car and she’s upset. She’s still ignored and infuriatingly, when she checks in with their daughter Alma says it’s okay. Her dad has called her and said he’ll take her another time. As one night seems to be extending, Bea is beside herself. Niklas says he wants space, but what from and how long for? Where is he staying? She’s going through that strange feeling that the person you shared space with; the person you could touch whenever you wanted; the person who you spoke to several times a day, is now off limits. It was clear to me that the balance of power had shifted in this relationship but I couldn’t understand why.
“Bea picks up her phone again, staring at the screen as though she an coax Niklas into sending her another message. An explanation of why he is acting so oddly […] but the only messages in their chat thread are Bea’s own attempts to reach him. A long string of questions and exclamation marks. CAPS. Angry emojis. Furious red faces with slanting eyebrows and bubbling volcano heads. Demands for communication”.
“The condescending pat on the head, talking to him as though his choices are reprehensible. As though it’s him who is in the wrong, who is unhinged, when all he is trying to do is be true to himself. The clear subtext is that his feelings don’t matter, and nor do his choices or wishes.”
Halfway through the novel, as Bea sets off with her girls to Hogreps and their stay with the in-laws, Niklas takes over the narration. I’d got used to my narrator at this point and I was feeling some empathy with Bea who is clearly distraught. Yet now I started to hear her husband’s story and his inner world: the pressure he’s under at work; the diagnosis he feels he should have made that changed someone’s outcome; the responsibility of financially supporting his family and keeping up with Bea’s remodelling ambitions. He’s on the proverbial hamster wheel and feels totally trapped. The author puts across his tension and despair so beautifully and I could feel the panic in his mind. I started to feel that Bea’s needs were seen as more important than his, not just in the marriage but with his family too. This is a problem rooted in the way they became a couple, both were grieving for Bea’s brother Jacob but she had the claim of being his sister. He took her to his family as this lonely, wounded little bird and they all took her under their wing. Niklas was effectively pushed to one side, not only negating his grief for his best friend but piling on the pressure. He now feels held to account, forced to swallow his own needs and look after Bea at all costs. It isn’t until he ends up talking to one of their neighbours at a party that he even realises he has a choice. The sense of freedom he gets from someone listening to him is exhilarating. Everyone assumes he’s having a midlife crisis, but is he? As he and Bea go to couple’s therapy can they save their marriage?
‘She knows exactly what song Lillis means. ‘If You Love Somebody Set Them Free’ by Sting. Bea herself has never even a fan. Surely freedom also involves responsibility? Taking responsibility for those you love? She doesn’t have a problem with giving other people space, but leaving your partner in the lurch? That’s just cowardly.”
“She has liberated his mind somehow. Lifted the hundred-kilo weight from his chest. Sometimes he wonders what might have happened if they’d met earlier. Would he have been able to avoid all this? Would he have forgiven himself sooner? Realised that he isn’t responsible for other people – other than his children, of course – or at least not in a way that makes him a slave.”
I loved how the author shows us the difference in communication styles between these two characters. Bea is performative and you are never in doubt about how she’s feeling. He anger and distress leap out immediately, even all the way back to the beginning and Jacob’s death. Niklas seems shell-shocked by Jacob’s death and he internalises all of the feelings he has to look after Bea. However, it starts to become clear there are bigger things hidden deep inside this couple than tears. Grief is complicated and Niklas’s feelings have been discounted from the beginning, by his parents Lillis and Tores, by Bea and by himself. He hasn’t allowed himself to process what happened and this becomes his coping style. So, when he finally does start to express his feelings they come as a surprise to Bea and to him. He can’t blame her for not knowing how he’s felt, because he’s never tried to tell her. Or is it more that there’s never been room for anything but Bea’s feelings. As we go back and forth, especially section three which passes between the two of them, secrets come to surface that I really didn’t expect. It’s also interesting to see how the people around the couple adjust and cope with what’s going on, brought into sharp focus by the illness of Tores. I felt so much for Bea because she has a lot of catching up to do, it’s as if the world has moved on without out her suddenly. Then in Niklas’s sections of the story I could feel how free he is, exploring his likes and dislikes, changing long held traditions and doing things he never expected like having a tattoo. They might look like mistakes from the outside, but it’s his exploration and he’s finally finding his authentic self. This novel is so beautifully written and exquisitely structured to have impact on the reader. Reading this felt like a counselling session and I mean that in the best way possible. We delve deeply into these two characters and their shared history, looking for clues and patterns of behaviour till we can understand why they’ve reached this crisis point. The question of whether they can come together again and be a family I will leave you to find out.
“Maybe things are different for Bea and Niklas because their life together began in tragedy, with Jacob’s death. Because that, strangely enough, is what brought them together. Maybe that’s why she knows they can handle anything: because they fell in love at rock bottom. She wouldn’t have survived without Niklas”.
Out Now in hardback from Manila Press
Meet the Author
Moa Herngren is a journalist, former editor-in-chief of Elle Magazine and a highly sought-after manuscript writer. She is also the co-creator and writer on Netflix hit- show Bonus Family. Alice Menzies is a freelance translator based in London. Her translations include work by Jonas Hassen Khemiri, Fredrik Backman, Tove Alsterdal and Jens Liljestrand.
The Lotus Readers 