This has been my ‘in the bath’ book for the last three or four days and I don’t mind saying that I have been like a prune during that time because I kept reading ‘just another chapter’. I also drove my other half crazy by topping up the hot water every time I gave in to the story. I have to follow an unusual reading regime in my house. It was built in 1787 and has a lot of ‘quirks’, including the emptying of my entire tub of bath water into the kitchen below instead of the usual plumbed in route. A further quirk is that if I take my iPad into the bathroom to read from Kindle or NetGalley, it simply switches itself off. I can sometimes bypass this by putting the iPad into airplane mode before going into the bathroom, but it’s not a fail-safe method. So I tend to read real proof copies in the bath and downstairs, keeping my iPad for bed where I don’t want to wake my other half. I don’t like to put on a reading light or do what my sister-in-law does and go to bed in my brother’s night fishing hat with built in head-lamp. She didn’t like to keep him awake by reading with a light on in their camper van.
So now you know that we’re all a bit odd in my family, I’ll come back to the book, one that grabbed me straight away and kept hold of me till the final page. There’s just something compulsive about it. It could be the short chapters that are so snappy and often end on a cliffhanger. It could be the alternating narration between neighbours Natalie and Rani who live across from each other. The women have such strong narrative voices and are both in completely relatable positions in life; Natalie is the beautiful neighbour with the killer job and the lovely house across the road that Rani has been coveting since she moved here. In fact as soon as the For Sale sign went up she was over there with a different name and address, swanky clothes and great back story in order to view it. So when Natalie moves in Rani knows exactly which high end work tops she butters her toast at in the morning and the surprisingly sheltered garden made for children to play in. We all think the grass is greener at times, but few of us would go to the lengths that Rani will.
Natalie does appear to have everything going for her. She’s undeniably beautiful with honey blonde hair and designer clothing. Naturally she’s the high flyer in a corporate law firm, with the opportunity to become the youngest ever woman at her firm to become partner. Her handsome and older husband Charlie is attentive and thoughtful. The pair married in Tuscany and Charlie is keen to start a family, hence the beautiful home in just the right area. Sometimes, when people really love a house they’ve looked at, they might claim to feel immediately at home there or be able to see them living in these perfectly curated spaces but for Natalie it’s less of a feeling and more of a certainty. She has lived here before, right at the beginning of her life, before her dad left and when she had an imaginary friend, Noemi, to run around with. She knows she was running a risk not telling Charles, but when the elderly next door neighbour doesn’t seem to recognise her she seems to have a got away with it. What is luring her back there? Her mother Luella is unlikely to enjoy a trip down memory lane, in fact she’s the first to remind Natalie how her dad left them in a terrible state, financially as well as emotionally. She likes to remind Natalie what a good man Charles is: all Charles wants is to settle and have a family; to look after Natalie; to take the burden of her high-powered career away; help her cultivate the right sort of friends. Surely that can’t be bad?
Rani lives opposite in her cramped flat, being a full-time mum and wearing supermarket clothes. She watches Natalie settle in and we can see a perfect psychological storm starting to build. Rani will happily admit that, at times, Natalie’s lifestyle must be hard to keep up. Although that revelation only surfaces when she realises it does take work to be that put together and professional. At first though, Rani feels almost as if Natalie is a fantastical creature who simply drifts out of bed with not a hair out of place, naturally smelling of roses and never working for her enviable figure. Rani feels out of place next to her, in her daily mum uniform of leggings and a t-shirt. However, these thoughts come from Rani’s anxieties and feelings of inadequacy. Although she loves her beautiful girls, she does miss going to out to work and having something that is entirely hers. She also feels disconnected from Joel, although she loves him the years of babies and toddlers have wiped out any spontaneity or time for themselves. When Joel commits a huge betrayal Rani has a huge choice to make. Can they find a way back to each other?
Just like Rani, we are drawn in more and more by Natalie’s life. Cleverly the author has made sure that we get to see more than Rani, through Natalie’s chapters we get her inner thoughts while everyone else is still seeing the perfect exterior. We know that she’s having nightmares again, full of people close to her but who don’t look quite right. Noemi is back too, breaking into her thoughts and becoming so tantalisingly real. As the two women become friends, I was actually a little bit scared for Rani. She doesn’t know what she’s getting into, although she has an inkling the perfect marriage to Charles may not be all it seems. I was unsure where the danger was coming from, was Charles much more dangerous than he at first appears or is Natalie’s strange past all in her imagination? Why did she choose to live in this house, when her childhood seems like an endless nightmare and Luella comes across as a harsh and controlled woman? It’s as if she adopted the Royal family’s motto for her family; ‘never complain, never explain’. Rani is the first true friend Natalie has had in her adult life, so she’s not always as open as she could be or is so used to thinking what Luella’s take on the situation might be, she comes out with something that sounds wrong. As Natalie starts to enjoy a little freedom, what will Charles’s reaction be and what dangers might the two women face if they start to dig up her past? This book is so well paced and the tension just keeps building. I enjoyed the female characters in the book and the unflinching depiction of domestic abuse that forms part of the story. I found Rani a more engaging and rounded character than Natalie, but of course she would be – none of her past is missing. Natalie comes across as a borderline personality, she has no sense of her own identity and has always gone along with the strongest person in the room, adopting their values and attitudes as her own. Rani has a lot more to lose, not material possessions but a family and roots that she knows keep her grounded. It’s knowing the threat and knowing how much Rani has to lose that kept me reading, even if the bath water was getting a little cold.
Meet the Author
Mira V Shah is a writer, former City lawyer turned legal editor and the proud owner of three good dogs. She is the daughter of Indian African parents and lives in North London with her husband and the pack – merely a few miles from where she grew up, although she often dreams about retiring in Italy should her intermittent lottery entries prove successful.
She wrote her first ever novel in 2020 during the first UK lockdown after studying on the Curtis Brown Creative novel writing course. HER was published by Hodder and Stoughton in November 2023.
It seems I’ve barely said goodbye to 2023 and I’m already six books in with my 2024 books. This looks like a bumper year of brilliant books and is likely to cause me some problems when summing up next New Year. It blows my mind to think there will be others that pop along and surprise me too. Here’s my first part and the second will be posted tomorrow. Here’s to a bookish New Year 🥂🍾📚
At The Stroke of Midnight by Jenni Keer.
It’s 1923 and in a decade that promises excitement and liberation, Pearl Glenham and her father are invited to a mysterious country house party on the Dorset coast, by a total stranger. Her father claims not to have any prior association with Highcliffe House, but it’s apparent that he has a shared history with several of the guests, although he won’t admit it. Belatedly discovering that her father was blackmailed into attending, Pearl’s worries are compounded when their host fails to arrive. Intimidated by everyone, Pearl escapes to the nearby cove and finds a mysterious mercury clock hidden in a cave. This strange encounter sets in motion a series of events that will culminate in an horrific house fire, claiming the lives of all the guests, including Pearl herself. But then Pearl wakes up back in the cave, seemingly destined never to live past midnight. She can repeat the day. But can she change its outcome?
Out on 10th March from Boldwood Books
Night Watching by Tracy Sierra
I don’t know very much about this novel, except for the blurb below and the many brilliant reviews from other thriller writers using so many superlatives to describe it.
There was someone in the house.
Home alone with her young children during a blizzard, a mother tucks her son back into bed in the middle of the night. Then she hears a noise – old houses are always making some kind of noise. But this sound is disturbingly familiar: it’s the tread of footsteps, unusually heavy and slow, coming up the stairs…
In that split second, she has three choices. Should she hide? Should she run? Or should she fight?
Out on 8th February from Viking.
A Sign of Her Own by Sarah Marsh
Ellen Lark is on the verge of marriage when she and her fiancé receive an unexpected visit from Alexander Graham Bell. Ellen knows immediately what Bell really wants from her. Ellen is deaf, and for a time was Bell’s student in a technique called Visible Speech. As he instructed her in speaking, Bell also confided in her about his dream of producing a device which would transmit the human voice along a wire: the telephone. Now, on the cusp of wealth and renown, Bell wants Ellen to speak up in support of his claim to the patent to the telephone, which is being challenged by rivals.
But Ellen has a different story to tell: that of how Bell betrayed her, and other deaf pupils, in pursuit of ambition and personal gain, and cut Ellen off from a community in which she had come to feel truly at home. It is a story no one around Ellen seems to want to hear – but there may never be a more important time for her to tell it.
Out on 1st Feb from Tinder Press.
Expiration Dates by Rebecca Serle
Daphne believes the universe has a plan for her. Every time she meets a new man, she receives a slip of paper with his name and a number on it – the exact amount of time they will be together. The papers told her she’d spend three days with Martin in Paris; 5 weeks with Noah in San Francisco; and three months with Hugo her ex-boyfriend turned best friend. Daphne has been receiving the numbered papers for over twenty years, always wondering when there might be one without an expiration. Finally the night of a blind date at her favourite LA restaurant, there’s only a name: Jake. But as Jake and Daphne’s story unfolds, Daphne finds herself doubting the paper’s prediction, and wrestling with what it means to be both committed and truthful. Because Daphne knows things Jake doesn’t, information – that if he found out – would break his heart. Rebecca always manages to do something a little bit different with her romances and I’ve loved all of her books so far.
Out on 19th March from Quercus
Christ on a Bike by Orla Owen.
Cerys receives an unexpected inheritance but there are rules attached, twisted rules that have to be followed if she is to receive it in full . As she settles into her new life, she begins to feel trapped and senses that the villagers, her sister and a man she keeps seeing on a bicycle are constantly watching her. Cerys, desperate to control her own future, decides to try break free but the past is ever present and dictates her fate. I found the blurb of this intriguing and I have a recommendation from fellow blogger Ellie and she’s usually great for unusual reads.
Out on 25th Jan from Bluemoose Books.
One of the Good Guys by Araminta Hall.
I’ve been lucky enough to have a proof of this one so I can honestly say WOW! This one will blow your socks off. Cole is the perfect husband: a romantic, supportive of his wife, Mel’s career, keen to be a hands-on dad, not a big drinker. A good guy. So when Mel leaves him, he’s floored. She was lucky to be with a man like him. Craving solitude, he accepts a job on the coast and quickly settles into his new life where he meets reclusive artist Lennie.
Lennie has made the same move for similar reasons. She is living in a crumbling cottage on the edge of a nearby cliff. It’s an undeniably scary location, but sometimes you have to face your fears to get past them. As their relationship develops, two young women go missing while on a walk protesting gendered violence, right by where Cole and Lennie live. Finding themselves at the heart of a police investigation and media frenzy, it soon becomes clear that they don’t know each other very well at all. This is an up to the minute look at relationships and the gender war. If so many men are feminists, why are so many women scared to walk home at night?
Out on 4th Jan from Macmillan
Anna O by Matthew Blake
ANNA O HASN’T OPENED HER EYES FOR FOUR YEARS
Not since the night she was found in a deep sleep by the bodies of her best friends, suspected of a chilling double murder. For Doctor Benedict Prince, a forensic psychologist on London’s Harley Street, waking Anna O could be career-defining. As an expert in sleep, he knows all about the darkest chambers of the mind; the secrets that lie buried in the subconscious. As he begins Anna O’s treatment – studying his patient’s dreams, combing her memories, visiting the site where the horrors played out – he pulls on the thread of a much deeper, darker mystery.
Awakening Anna O isn’t the end of the story, it’s just the beginning.
Out on 1st Feb by HarperCollins
Goodbye Birdy Greenwing by Ericka Waller
Great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget…
Birdie, Ada and Jane are all lost. Life has not turned out as they planned, and all three of them are scared to ask for help, to say yes – or to say no. To take a chance on someone else. Birdie Greenwing has been at a loose end ever since her beloved twin sister and husband passed away eight years previously. Too proud and stubborn to admit she is lonely, Birdie’s world has shrunk. Jane Brown hoped moving to Brighton would be a new start, away from her overbearing mother. While she finds it hard to stand up for herself, her daughter Frankie has no problem telling people what she does and doesn’t want. Ada Kowalski thought training to become an Oncologist in England would be a dream come true. In reality she is isolated, exhausted, the professional detachment she has had to develop now threatens to take over her life.
When a series of incidents brings their lives crashing together, these three unlikely allies find that there’s always more to a person than meets the eye.
Out on 18th April by Doubleday.
The King’s Witches by Kate Foster
Women whisper secrets to each other; it is how we survive.
1589. Princess Anne of Denmark is betrothed to King James VI of Scotland – a royal union designed to forever unite the two countries. But first, she must pass the trial period: one year of marriage in which she must prove herself worthy of being Scotland’s new Queen. If the King and the Scottish royal court in Edinburgh find her wanting, she faces permanent exile to a convent. Determined to fulfil her duties to King and country, Anne resolves to be the perfect royal bride. Until she meets Lord Henry. By her side is Kirsten Sorenson, her loyal and pious lady’s maid. But whilst tending to Anne’s every need, she has her own secret motives for the royal marriage to be a success . . .
Meanwhile, in North Berwick, a young housemaid by the name of Jura is dreaming of a new life. She practises the healing charms taught to her by her mother, and when she realises she is no longer safe under her master’s roof, she escapes to Edinburgh. But it isn’t long before she finds herself caught up in the witchcraft mania that has gripped not just the capital but the new queen . . This is the follow up to Kate’s brilliant book The Maiden.
Out on 6th June from Mantle.
The Knowing by Emma Hinds.
Powerful, intoxicating and full of suspense. The Knowing is a darkly spellbinding novel about a girl fighting for her survival in the decaying criminal underworlds. It is a hard-hitting story of love, obsession and betrayal.
Whilst working as a living canvas for an abusive tattoo artist in the slums of 19th-century New York, Flora meets Minnie, an enigmatic circus performer who offers her love and refuge in an opulent townhouse that is home to the menacing and predatory Mr Chester Merton. Flora earns her keep reading tarot cards for his guests whilst struggling to harness her gift, the Knowing – an ability to summon the dead. Caught in a dark love triangle between Minnie and Chester, Flora begins to unravel the secrets inside their house. Then at her first public séance in the infamous cathouse Hotel du Woods, Flora hears the spirit of a murdered boy prostitute and exposes his killer, setting off a train of events that leaves her fighting for her life. The Knowing is a stunning debut inspired by real historical characters including Maud Wagner, one of the first known female tattoo artists, New York gang the Dead Rabbits, and characters from PT Barnum’s circus in the 1800s. It is so up my street it’s ridiculous and I can’t wait to tell you all about it.
Out on 18th January from Bedford Square Publishers.
The Collapsing Wave by Doug Johnstone
This is my current read and I’m really enjoying being back with Ava, Heather, Lennox and of course Sandy. This follows on from the first in the series, picking up from that moment in Ullapool where the trio reunited Sandy the Enceladon with his fellow aliens and they made the Great Descent into the sea loch. Now Lennox and Heather are detained nearby, in a purpose built centre called New Broom that’s part prison and part research facility. Run by the American military, the base is dedicated to researching any individual enceladons they can catch. This is a form of torture as they are separated from the whole and forced to communicate telepathically with Lennox and Heather. Meanwhile, Ava is on trial for the murder of her husband after years of domestic violence, but what next for her and her daughter Chloe if she’s acquitted? As Sandy tries to help his detained friends, they all learn just how far the Americans will go to reach their objectives. However, the protest camp near New Broom is filled with people who didn’t believe the government’s explanation for the Great Descent. They know that the the Americans are experimenting on something more than marine life, something extraterrestrial. Could their help ensure freedom for the Enceladons as well as Lennox, Heather and Ava? A brilliant read, full of Doug Johnstone’s usual mix of politics, philosophy and buckets of empathy alongside the aliens.
Out on 14th March from Orenda Books.
The Unfinished Business of Eadie Brown byFreya North
Eadie Browne is an odd child with unusual parents, living in a strange house neighbouring the local cemetery. Bullied at school – but protected by her two best friends Celeste and Josh, and her many imaginary friends lying six feet under next door – Eadie muddles her way through. Arriving in Manchester as a student in the late 1980s, Eadie experiences a novel freedom she never imagined and it’s seductive. She can be who she wants to be, do as she pleases, and no one back home needs to know. As Manchester embraces the dizzying, colourful euphoria of Rave counterculture, Eadie is swept along, blithely ignoring danger and reality. Until, one night, her past comes hurtling at her with ramifications which will continue into her adult life.
Now, as the new Millennium beckons, Eadie is turning 30 with a marriage in tatters. She must travel back to where she once lived for a funeral she can’t quite comprehend. As she journeys from the North to the South, from the present to the past, Eadie contemplates all that was then – and all that is now – in this moving love letter to youth.
Out on Feb 1st from Welbeck Publishing
The London Bookshop Affair by Louise Fein
London, 1962: The world is teetering on the brink of nuclear war but life must go on. Celia Duchesne longs for a career, but with no means or qualifications, passes her time working at a dusty bookshop. The day a handsome American enters the shop, she thinks she might have found her way out of the monotony. Just as the excitement of a budding relationship engulfs her, a devastating secret draws her into the murky world of espionage.
France, 1942: Nineteen-year-old Anya Moreau was dropped behind enemy lines to aid the resistance, sending messages back home to London via wireless transmitter. When she was cruelly betrayed, evidence of her legacy and the truth of her actions were buried by wartime injustices. As Celia learns more about Anya—and her unexpected connection to the undercover agent—she becomes increasingly aware of furious efforts, both past and present, to protect state secrets. With her newly formed romance taking a surprising turn and the world on the verge of nuclear annihilation, Celia must risk everything she holds dear, in the name of justice.
Out on 29th February from William Morrow.
Loot by Tania James
Meet Abbas. Woodcarver, toy maker, dreamer. Abbas is seventeen when he is whisked away to Tipu Sultan’s glorious palace in Mysore. Apprenticed to the clockmaker Monsieur Du Leze, he is ordered to create an ingenious musical tiger to delight Tipu’s sons. In the eccentric Du Leze, Abbas finds an unexpected friend who encourages his skill and hunger for learning, and through whom he also meets the unforgettable Jehanne, who has questions and ambitions of her own.
But when British soldiers attack and loot Mysore, Abbas’s world is turned upside down and his prized tiger is shipped off to a country estate in England. In order to carve out his place in the world, he must follow. A hero’s quest, a love story, an exuberant heist novel that traces the bloody legacy of colonialism across the world, Loot is a dazzling, wildly inventive and irresistible feat of storytelling from a writer at the height of her powers.
Out on 25th Jan by Harvill Secker.
This Tale is Forbidden by Polly Crosby
Nesta believes in the fairy tales – the true stories of powerful magical women who shaped and ruled the world decades ago. But the world has changed since then, and now, she is forbidden from wandering too far from the isolated woodland cottage where she lives with her grandmother. Nesta longs more than anything to see the city that lies beyond the forest, and when her grandmother is abducted, she gets her chance, journeying there in the hope of rescuing her.
But once there, she is horrified to see her grandmother’s warnings were true: girls are forced to wear certain clothes and punished if they don’t behave in certain ways. The city’s Authorities have rewritten history, replacing the fairytale heroines with weak girls who must rely on men. Worse still – everyone believes this is how the world has always been. Only Nesta knows the truth. But truth is a dangerous thing, and suddenly she finds herself a target. Can she evade the Authorities long enough to rescue her grandmother and liberate everyone else, bringing magic back into the world? This is a YA debut from Polly, whose writing I absolutely love.
Out on 4th Jan by Scholastic
Emily Wilde’s Map of the Otherlands by Heather Fawcett
This is the second book in the Emily Wilde series and another beautiful cover to add to my collection. Emily Wilde is a genius scholar of faerie folklore, and has catalogued many secrets of the Hidden Folk in her encyclopaedia with her infuriatingly charming fellow scholar, Wendell Bambleby, by her side. But Bambleby is more than just a brilliant and unbearably handsome scholar. He’s an exiled faerie king on the run from his murderous mother, in search of a door back to his realm. By lucky happenstance, Emily’s new project, a map of the realms of faerie, will take them on an adventure to the picturesque Austrian Alps, where Emily believes they may find the door to Bambleby’s realm, and the key to freeing him from his family’s dark plans. But with new friendships for the prickly Emily to navigate and dangerous Folk lurking in every forest and hollow, Emily must unravel the mysterious workings of faerie doors, and of her own heart.
Out on 16th February by Orbit Books
Spitting Gold by Camilla Lowkis
Paris, 1866. When Baroness Sylvie Devereux receives a house-call from Charlotte Mothe, the sister she disowned, she fears her shady past as a spirit medium has caught up with her. But with their father ill and Charlotte unable to pay his bills, Sylvie is persuaded into one last con. Their marks are the de Jacquinots: dysfunctional aristocrats who believe they are haunted by their great aunt, brutally murdered during the French Revolution. Sylvie and Charlotte will need to deploy every trick to terrify the family out of their gold – until they experience inexplicable horrors themselves. The sisters start to question if they really are at the mercy of a vengeful spirit. And what other deep, dark secrets threaten to come to light…?
Spitting Gold is a darkly atmospheric and propulsive historical debut that twists and turns, blending gothic mystery with a captivating sapphic romance.
Out on April 18th from Doubleday
Crow Moon by Suzy Aspley
When the crow moon rises, the darkness is unleashed…
Martha Strangeways is struggling to find purpose in her life, after giving up her career as an investigative reporter when her young twins died in a house fire. Overwhelmed by guilt and grief, her life changes when she stumbles across the body of a missing teenager – a tragedy that turns even more sinister when a poem about crows is discovered inked onto his back. When another teenager goes missing in the remote landscape, Martha is drawn into the investigation, teaming up with DI Derek Summers, as malevolent rumours begin to spread and paranoia grows. As darkness descends on the village of Strathbran, it soon becomes clear that no one is safe, including Martha… Both a nerve-shattering, enthralling and atmospheric thriller and a moving tale of grief and psychological damage, Crow Moon is a staggeringly accomplished debut and the start of an addictive, unforgettable series.
Out on 14th March from Orenda Books
The Gathering by C.J.Tudor
A small Alaskan town. A missing boy. A brutal murder. A detective brought in from out of state to assist the former sherriff who investigated a similar murder twenty-five years ago. But are they hunting a twisted psychopath – or something even more terrifying? I am determined to read C.J. Tudor’s back catalogue this year as she’s an author I’m very aware of but haven’t had time to read. This one sounds amazing.
Out on 11th April from Michael Joseph.
I have made an error in the above book covers graphic and added Halfway House by Helen Fitzgerald, if you want to know about her brilliant new novel take a look at part one.
When I received an email asking if I’d be interested in a finished copy of Fern Brady’s memoir I was typing ‘Yes please’ before I’d even finished reading the email. Something about Fern made me sit up and take notice when I was half-watching a late night showing of Live at the Apollo. She was such an interesting mix of intelligence, wit, forthrightness and that little bit of indefinable magic that captures an audience and takes them with you. By the time she appeared in Taskmaster I was a big fan. If you listen to my partner, this was because of her approach to tasks, which is very like my own. She dissected tasks in a very analytical way that was completely obvious to her, then when her team mates didn’t catch on (quite often in one case) she would speak to them as if they were insufferably stupid. Apparently the look in Fern’s eyes and her tone of voice reminded him of me watching a quiz show or reality series. Every Monday I become inexplicably wound up by Mastermind, especially when contestants pass questions instead of just throwing an answer out there. It’s obvious to me that if passes count against you in the tie-break situation, it would be better to simply shout ‘banana’ if you don’t know the answer. They might look stupid but they’d have no passes. So I guess I felt something of a kinship with her and the way our brains work, although in other respects we couldn’t be more different.
I had heard that Fern was recently diagnosed as on the autistic spectrum, a very hard won diagnosis for women and something I’ve had some experience of in my mental health work. Any mental health team has it’s share of people who are neuro-divergent, especially older people whose schools were simply unaware of the condition, whatever gender the individual might be. I’ve seen first hand the devastation that can be caused by undiagnosed autism. The inability to fit in at school, the crippling ‘shyness’ that leads to bullying, subsequent depression and anxiety, institutionalisation from long periods on psychiatric wards, coping strategies such as self-imposed isolation, drinking or drug taking. Then all the social issues that come along with these difficulties, like struggling to find or keep employment, poverty, neglect or even being preyed upon by those in society who look out for people to cuckoo or subject to modern slavery. This may sound extreme to some, but I’ve personally seen all of the above happen to people who were not diagnosed early. Not that diagnosis is the cure for all of these terrible life circumstances, but labelling does help because it enables the individual to access benefits, housing, support and some degree of protection in society. Fern was one of these people, born in an era when diagnosis was more common, but usually reserved for boys. The problem is that autism looks very different in women – women don’t fall into the Sheldon Cooper, no girlfriend, obsessive, Star Trek loving, nerd stereotype.
Fern was diagnosed exactly twenty years after she first told a doctor she had autism. Prior to that doctors told her she couldn’t possibly be autistic because she made eye contact and she’d had boyfriends (as if the ability to maintain a heterosexual relationship inoculated you from being neuro-divergent). One night after performing, Fern told her boyfriend that an audience member thought she might have Asperger’s and she should read a book called Aspergirls. She wasn’t sure she wanted to, but as her boyfriend started to read up on it he said to her ‘this is an exact description of you’. Often the signs of autism are simply missed in women because we have become too good at disguising or masking how we truly feel in a situation. Women are able, particularly in a work environment, to put on a mask. For example, all through school and university I was terrified of public speaking. I didn’t want everyone’s eyes on me, I would start to feel hot, sweaty and go completely purple in the face. Eventually I became so embarrassed about being purple in the face I became anxious about that too. These symptoms were exacerbated by a terrifying exercise at the beginning of teacher training where we had to pick a song that told a story and then sing it, unaccompanied in our seminar group. I felt like my mum’s pressure cooker, shuddering with heat and pressure until it gave a high pitched whistle and she would let the steam out. It felt like that but with nobody on hand to release the pressure. When things like this happened and even now when I’m involved in confrontation I’m right back there sweating, with a face like a giant blueberry. I didn’t last a term. However, if I am teaching a whole class of people, like one of my therapeutic writing workshops, I barely break a sweat. I have put on the mask of an expert, someone who knows what they’re talking about and how much it can help. So, as an expert, I can do the task.
Fern struggles to fit in wherever she goes in life, whether it’s school, college or work. She can’t fathom the unspoken social codes that govern our existence, especially in groups of women. Her obsessions are not the archetypal trains, sci-fi or comics. As a child she was obsessed with learning languages, culminating in a successful application to Edinburgh University to study Arabic and Persian. She had no desire to visit the countries where these languages were spoken, she just loved doing verb drills and was running out of languages. She played the piano incredibly well at a young age too, but because these were seen as ‘positive’ pastimes it never occurred to anyone to label them as autistic tendencies. She funded her studies at university by stripping, somewhere she felt that she fitted in. Although that was probably due to the fact that most stripper’s dressing rooms have their fair share of misfits. She didn’t have to be herself in the club, she put on a persona and got on with it. The early years of her comedy career were harder, mainly because there were more social codes to navigate, such as having to pretend she would like to have coffee and ‘get to know’ someone instead of just asking if she could be considered for a panel show slot. Sometimes it felt as if people wasted years playing games just to work with someone, when a simple ‘do you want to work together?’ Would have sufficed. She noticed that people didn’t like her to be so direct, particularly standing up in meetings and asking what the point was? This was something I used to do regularly in my last job as an advocate for people with disabilities. I had a huge case load on part-time hours so if someone called a meeting with no obvious point I would ask if they could quickly get to the point so I could assess if it was worth me sitting there. I remember saying that I’d like to get back to my desk and ‘do some real work’. I was there for the clients who needed me, not my colleagues. In hindsight I can see why our receptionist was terrified of me.
I loved the honesty of this book. Fern is brutally honest, even about those things that perhaps don’t show her in the best light. Her frankness about the autism, but also the mental health problems and addictions she experienced as a result of remaining undiagnosed, is admirable because it will help people who are in that destructive cycle. Her teenage years are particularly fraught and painful to read, mainly because she’s totally misunderstood by those who are supposed to love her. I found Fern’s retrospective take on those years and her post-diagnosis discussion with her mother was particularly moving. Fern is staunchly feminist and I loved that her inability to read social cues meant she didn’t internalise some of the bullshit that still exists in society about how women should behave. When in a shared flat at university, her flat mates basically slut-shamed her for having too many men at the flat. Hilariously, Fern replies that there seven days in a week and she’s shown restraint by only bringing a man back four times. There are other laugh out loud moments like this, where Fern is more than happy to create humour from her situation. There were some similarities in religious upbringing that resonated with me and made me smile.
This is not the typical redemptive narrative arc memoir where someone transcends their illness/situation in order to tie up any loose ends and become the ‘superhuman’ that we should all emulate. I have a disability and this is a narrative trope I can’t stand to see in disability memoirs. People don’t overcome a permanent disability, whether it’s visible or invisible; physical or mental. We learn to accommodate it and live alongside it if we’re lucky. Fern shows that beautifully by describing her difficulties working within her industry with her diagnosis. She describes the Taskmaster experience brilliantly and it’s refreshing to read a celebrity admitting to ongoing issues with their health. It’s more of that brutal honesty she’s famous for and it helps to know that what we see on TV doesn’t come without it’s difficulties, particularly the meltdowns which are a result of the stresses and strains of filming. As you can probably tell I identified strongly with this book and I have wondered if it might be worth mentioning to my GP that I have struggled with social codes; have been told that people are scared of my rather forthright opinions and ideas; have physical crashes after periods of stress; avoid parties; have repetitive mind games or movements that calm me and help me go to sleep; prefer to deal with people in writing; watch repetitive programs that are calming to me; prefer to see friends one to one rather than socialise in groups of women. These may just be personality quirks, but I have wondered and could see how a label might help me understand some of my behaviours. I really welcomed Fern’s story in terms of understanding myself better, whether diagnosed or not, but I also admired her ability to bare her soul and find the funny in her difficulties.
Meet the Author
Fern Marie Brady (born 26 May 1986) is a Scottish comedian, podcaster, and writer. Before becoming a stand-up comedian Brady worked as a journalist. She achieved fame as a stand-up comedian by entering stand-up competitions such as at the Edinburgh Film Theatre. As a result of her success as a stand-up she was invited on to comedy panel shows such as 8 Out Of Ten Cats. In 2020 she became a podcaster when she co-created a podcast entitled Wheel of Misfortune.
Brady was diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum in 2021, as an adult. She has been active within the field of autism education since learning of her diagnosis. She has written how she has been dealing with the diagnosis in her 2023 memoir Strong Female Character.
The word Vene would have used to describe her mother was ‘cold’ because they’ve always been at odds, even in childhood. So when news of her terminal illness comes, Vene wonders what to do. Is a reconciliation out of the question? She returns to Napa only to find that Olivia is as harsh as she always was. Yet, when Vene finds a cookbook belonging to her mother, it’s like a window on a different woman. Upstairs her dying mother is judgemental and snappy, but between the pages of the cookbook she’s a young woman full of romance and longing, but also duty and a terrible heartache. This is the mum she’s never met and she wants to go on an emotional journey, to connect with the ‘real’ Olivia before it’s too late.
Using a dual timeline, half a century apart Vene tries to unearth the secrets and sacrifice of two different women. I loved the use of food as a medium to communicate emotion and nostalgia. We all have these tastes that rocket us back to childhood in one mouthful. In fact one of my favourite memoirs is Nigel Slater’s Taste which conjures up so many memories of his mother. We don’t always see our parents as people in their own right, especially when there are secrets and we don’t know the truth of everything they’ve endured. Mothers don’t always fully see their daughters, often because they’re so busy trying to protect them from a similar harm to the one they suffered when they were a young woman. In trying not to repeat our youthful mistakes and create a pattern, we make new ones. I thought there was so much insight into women’s emotional history here. There was a running theme of service and sacrifice that reminded me of Virginia Woolf’s A Room of One’s Own. Are women now able to make life choices completely for themselves or do they sacrifice this freedom to look after the needs of others? As an artist can we ever be fulfilled if we don’t write, paint or create? I thought the setting really emphasised the idea of food and nostalgia too, because just reading it I could imagine myself on holiday there. The place was beautifully described and the recipes with their accompanying wines between the chapters conjured up so many tastes and smells. Don’t read this when hungry! I love Italian food so it was wonderful to read those colours and tastes brought to life.
Emotionally and psychologically the author presents heartbreak in such a raw and honest way. Olivia’s past is full of loss and the pain of that has informed the way she brings up her daughter. The hurt of the past always affects our future relationships in some way, but is it possible to acknowledge that hurt and stop it shaping our future and that of our children? If not, a destructive pattern emerges and there is definitely trauma between these two generations. As our trips into Olivia’s past start to explain more about her present, I was hoping that Vene’s newly found knowledge of her mother’s motivations would open up a space for them to communicate honestly and truly know each other as women. I felt more involved in the past timeline, which often happens to me in dual timeline stories, and found the young Olivia a more engaging character. However, it was the dynamic between the two of them I loved and the sense that women have a lot to learn from each other when they communicate honestly. I wondered about how we value the older women in our families and whether we’ve lost that ability to prize them? Is there a collective wisdom we’re missing out on when we stop seeing our older relatives as people. Every so often it’s good to remind ourselves that these people who happen to be our parents, had lives long before they had us and I wondered whether there were incredible stories buried within the past generations of my own family.
Meet the Author
Born and raised in Los Angeles, Jennifer Hamm graduated with a BA in English at UCLA and began her writing career developing screenplays for movies and television. As a travel writer, she has covered the globe on assignment for various magazines and brands. She also writes It’s Only for A Year, a long-running blog chronicling her adventures raising her four boys in two countries. Hamm currently splits her time between London and Los Angeles. OneFriday in Napa is her first novel.
When Ella from Hachette Books messaged me to say there was a book she thought would be right up my street I was a little surprised. I didn’t think the publicists would know me and my book choices well enough to make predictions about what I’d like. I was wrong. She knew exactly who this book was for. ‘It’s about a man turning into a Great White Shark’ she told me, well what’s not to like? I was hooked on the idea before the book even arrived. Lewis and Wren have fallen in love. They’ve no idea that their first year of marriage will also be their last. It’s only weeks after their wedding when Lewis receives a rare and shocking diagnosis. He has an unusual mutation. Although he might retain some of his consciousness, his memories and possibly his intellect, his body will become that of a Great White Shark. Lewis is complicated, an artist at heart he has always wanted to write the great American play for his generation. How will his liberal and loving heart beat on within the body of one of the earth’s most ruthless predators? He also has to come to terms with never fulfilling his dreams, but expressing that anger with shark DNA in his system has huge repercussions. He has to come to terms with leaving Wren behind, for her own safety. Wren wants to fight on. To find a way of living and loving each other as Lewis changes. She is told that there will come a point when this will be too dangerous. Lewis will then have to live in a state run facility or free in the ocean. It’s when she sees a glimpse of his developing carnivorous nature that a memory from her past is triggered. Wren has to make a terrible, heart-wrenching decision.
I felt emotionally devastated by this beautiful novel that uses a fantastical premise to unleash experiences of grief, love, loss and potentially, healing. Wren and Lewis reminded me of my relationship with my late husband. We married after six weeks and even then I knew I wouldn’t have him forever. I had almost seven years until I lost him. This book explained how my own grief experience felt. After Jez’s death I felt furious with anyone who said ‘Jez would think..’ or claimed they could sense his presence. I could feel nothing. No voice, no presence, nothing. It was as if he had never existed. For Lewis there becomes a point when his incessant desire to feed will become his overriding thought, strong enough to wipe out all others, will that include his love for Wren? He will not exist as Lewis anymore, the doctors tell Wren, he will not even know who she is, because he will be all shark. Wren has to come to terms with letting Lewis go, but how do you walk away from the most precious thing in your life? I had a point where I had to decide that I couldn’t look after my husband any more. I was exhausted, we had no carers in place and it didn’t feel safe to try and go it alone. Besides, as his brother told me, I had to start building a life without Jez. I cried more the night he went into nursing care, than when he died, because I felt I’d let him down and I knew he would die. He did, only six weeks later. Wren is told the same after a terrible violent incident occurs at the after-party for the play Lewis’s students have worked on. Wren calls the specialist nurse for advice, but she urges Wren that it’s time. Will they be able to say goodbye?
Despite these similarities to my life, it wasn’t Lewis’s story that broke my heart, It was Wren’s story. This is not the first time Wren has had to say goodbye. When she was barely a teenager her mother also had a rare diagnosis, but her mutation was that of a Komodo Dragon, equally deadly and impossible to live with. One scene between Wren and her mother, as she leaves her in the state facility, was so deeply moving I cried. I found it unbearable. This is what’s astonishing about Emily Habeck’s debut. It seems so fantastical, yet is utterly real in it’s experiences and emotions. Using such unusual animals as the mutation/illness creates a distance from the feelings involved. Some readers might even think the premise ridiculous – but the terrible anticipation, the moment of loss, the grief and relentless momentum of life are exactly the same. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the decision to put an elderly parent in a home or a Komodo Dragon into a facility, the guilt and pain as you walk away feels identical. It isn’t all relentless misery though. We meet Wren’s mother as the teenager she once was, experiencing love for the first time. We also go back to Lewis and his new life in the ocean, as his emotions flit between loss and what’s for dinner. His friendship with Margaret is so funny. She was once a human too and she’s been looking for another hybrid to talk to, and boy does she talk?! She’d try the patience of a shark. In a beautifully unusual way and in an almost poetic prose, this beautiful debut is about life. It’s ups and downs, the horrendous losses and the gains: the naivety of first love, becoming a mother, our love and care for an elderly parent, friendships and realising that a special little girl sees you as her dad. Life is constant adaptation, evolving and developing all the time. Every end is a beginning. This is such a special novel, an incredible debut with such a keen grasp of what being human is all about. I can see this becoming an all-time favourite for me. It quite simply took my breath away.
Meet the Author
Emily Habeck has a BFA in theater from SMU’s Meadows School of the Arts as well as master’s degrees from Vanderbilt Divinity School and Vanderbilt’s Peabody College. She grew up in Ardmore, Oklahoma. Shark Heart is her first novel.
I’ve felt over the last year that every comedian has a book out. This is the result of the pandemic, where comedians could write material but had no way of testing it out on audience. It seems that a lot of them decided to use this time to write a memoir and this is up there with the best of them. One of the most important things about a memoir written by a celebrity is that it feels authentic and this book feels like a rambling conversation with Lou. She has such a strong narrative voice. I must admit to being a bit fascinated with Lou Sanders for a while now. I’d seen snippets of her stand-up, appearances on panel shows and a gloriously deranged turn as Mel Giedroyc’s sidekick on Unforgivable. However, it was her appearance on another Dave comedy show that cemented her in my memory as someone I’d like to know more about. On Outsiders, she was in a team with Ed Gamble, tackling activities out in the woods to earn Scout-style badges devised by David Mitchell. It was her effect on Ed that absolutely floored me. She slowly drove him to distraction by agreeing a plan, then as he struggled with it, she would get bored and wander off to start a Plan B by herself. His exasperation is delightful. Similarly, on Chris and Rosie Ramsay’s BBC2 show, she dissolved the presenters to puddles of uselessness by beautifully relaying a story about a dog’s back end while visibly gagging! I felt like this was a lady with a gloriously quirky and unapologetic way of being herself in the world that I simply loved. I learned while reading this memoir that her ease with herself, her authenticity, has been very hard won. I now admire her all the more and plan on buying this book for all the teenage girls in my life by the bucketload.
Lou tells her story with no frills or filter and that led to a really intimate reading experience. I could hear her voice immediately and that is the best thing about it. She tells the story of a difficult early life – struggles with ADHD and a very late diagnosis, coupled with devastatingly low self-esteem. Totally misunderstood at home, she was drinking and drug-taking from an early age. All to mask feeling different and as if she didn’t belong anywhere. Leaving home at 15 and working in pubs, she learned to use drink to create a new persona, one that made people laugh. She used whatever it was that made her feel different and strange for laughs. Drama followed her and some of her stories, especially around the opposite sex are starkly told and are all the more devastating for their honesty. She only realises in reverse that it’s impossible to give consent when you’re incapacitated. She’d learned that it was sometimes easier to give in and drink numbed the reality of what had happened. Each wound is almost unnoticed and that’s not just because she was obliterated. She’s totally unaware that she has the ability to keep to her boundaries, in fact I don’t think she was aware of her ability to set them. People who are worth nothing can’t ask for things. They’re not even aware they have the right to say no.
Lou is very matter of fact and unshowy about choosing to get sober and change her life. She credits AA with her success and it took a few false starts to get passed the times she kidded herself – ‘I’ve not had a drink for months, surely one or two would be okay?’ She learned that for her, one leads to many so she can’t have any. Ever. It only became clear for her when she realised she was ruining her own chances, self-sabotaging her career. She would ask comic friends why new comics were getting TV gigs and she wasn’t. After shows where she was obliterated, threw things into the audience and even bit someone, it took a good honest friend to tell her the truth. TV producers didn’t trust her, she was too unpredictable. That friend probably saved her career, in act they saved her life. I found her clarity around this part of her life really admirable, but she doesn’t want to see herself as a heroine or an example. This book doesn’t have a self-help vibe. She knows that she is a work-in-progress and only sticking with AA and practicing abstinence will work for her. In fact she also realises that therapy keeps her life ticking over, it gives her a release – like the pressure valve for her life. I loved the raw honesty of Lou’s writing. This is a book that never could have happened if she hadn’t learned to love every bit of herself. Well, most bits anyway. Some celebrity books are a list of achievements or a ‘how I became famous’ journey, but you don’t really meet the person. I’m not very good at surface stuff. Small talk is impossible for me, because it feels totally inauthentic. I put this book down feeling like I’d really met the person between it’s covers and we’d had a long, honest conversation about life.
Meet the Author
Lou Sanders is a British comedian. She is the champion of series eight of Taskmaster, co-hosts Mel Giedroyc: Unforgivable and has made a host of other television appearances from Live at the Apollo to The Late Late Show.
Lou has performed stand up around the world, including venues in New York, LA, Berlin and sell-out runs in Edinburgh and Soho. Lou has written articles for The Guardian, Time Out and GQ magazine.
More from Lou
Cuddle Club – The podcast where each week Lou Sanders (Taskmaster, QI, Would I Lie To You) asks a special guest the hard hitting questions that other non-cuddle based podcasts don’t dare to. Hot stuff like: Which kid did your parents prefer? Why are we all pretending massages are normal? And, can you ever trust anyone to order for you?
Wow! This is a searingly raw story, simmering with righteous anger and injustice. Set on a boiling hot summer’s day, you can almost smell the tarmac and diesel fumes. You can hear the traffic noise and feel the agitation and impatience of people trying to get to work without exchanging a word with anyone else. It’s too hot to breathe let alone exchange a friendly word. I had the unnerving experience of reading our heroine’s thoughts and hearing my own words. During the day from hell that Em was experiencing, it felt like some of my own thoughts and frustrations were running round her head. They just need awakening. I have to be honest and say that my age is more in line with another heroine from earlier this year – Amazing Grace Adams – who had her own walk of rage, fuelled by love. However, Em’s voice is a millennial war cry that becomes a national phenomenon in the space of a day. As she leaves her landlord’s bed that morning she expects to look smart for work, especially since she has a HR meeting and expects to be offered a permanent role after completing three months maternity cover with great results. Finally she’s catching an evening flight back home to Spain for her little sister wedding. Her actual day is a complete clusterfuck!
It was her very first thoughts and actions as she woke in the morning that started to build that inner fury in me. First of all her name isn’t Em, or Emily and not even Emma. It’s Emygdia. Everyone shortens it for her. To something that’s more manageable for them. This is an indication of what’s to come and references all those things about women that people find ‘too much.’ Em gets up quietly, so as not to disturb her landlord Matt – son of a Tory MP and an absolute dick. She wouldn’t want to wake him up. She gathers her clothes quietly and scurries away as if she has done something wrong. It’s Matt who’s in the position of power. It’s Matt who has a long-term girlfriend. It’s Matt who started this little fling. Yet it’s Em who has to leave the flat to accommodate his weekend with the saintly Rebecca. It’s Em who shouldn’t be so sexy and irresistible. It’s Em who buys into this bullshit and scurries quietly to her own room as if nothing has happened. As if she doesn’t exist. It made me wonder, what is it she’s so scared of? In fact, what are women so afraid of?
‘you warm-blooded Mediterranean types’, he says ‘all that passion eh? You can’t control yourselves.’ Ah yes the Spanish thing. He talks about that a lot. My long thick hair, the way I use my hands when I talk, my olive skin, how red my lips are, how dark my eyes are, how round my breasts are. What do English girls look like in bed then? Maybe they just lie there silent, pale and still. I doubt it. Maybe that’s just Rebecca.’
This sets up a central idea in the book and it’s title. It’s classic Madonna-Whore complex, the misogynistic idea that there are women you sleep with and women you marry. ‘Emmy’ as Matt calls her, is definitely the former. Like obliging little opposites of a dichotomy Rebecca and Em have never met, but Em has Facebook stalked her. Rebecca, who hates being called Becca, isn’t a large breasted, wild haired, sexy inconvenience. She’s a pale, pretty girl who wears her hair in plaits at the weekend and has a rabbit called Sniffles. She dislikes spicy food and even her favourite colour is mild – who likes mint? She wears loose sundresses and flat sandals. Her figure can’t be seen. She even has freckles. Could anyone be less threatening? This is the type of woman men like Matt idealise, they are the wives and mothers, not to be sullied or degraded in any way. This type of thinking also applies to serial killers. As the character of Rose explains, while men are killing women who deserve it they’re notorious, they’re given sexy nicknames and people make documentaries about them. It’s ok to kill the ‘Ems’ of this world: immigrant girls, homeless girls, nagging wives, pushy girlfriends, women who sell themselves, who wear slutty clothes, who walk home late at night. It’s only when they kill the ‘Rebecca’ types that people sit up and take notice. Girls who are nice, who don’t take risks, who don’t deserve it, who are innocent little angels. This attitude is prevalent in real life, I remember it from both the police and the media during the Yorkshire Ripper investigation. It starts small. Men shout ‘cheer up’ or ‘give us a smile’ as if we owe them a nice expression! As if we owe them pretty. Then there’s the man who wants to buy you a drink, to put their arm round you or touch your waist. It’s a continuum that, at it’s most extreme, encompasses those who use, abuse and even kill. Em has encountered all of these types before – the sexual harassment that costs her a job, the violent father, the user landlord and those she meets throughout the day right up to the London Strangler.
I loved how the author wrote about the body and how ‘other’ women’s natural bodily functions seem to be. There’s a disgust conveyed by men that women buy into and internalise. The shame of being caught out by a period in a public place must be a lot of women’s worst nightmare. When I read it I physically cringed on Em’s behalf. It was interesting that this was the point she meets Rose, who simply accepts this woman she’s just seen cleaning herself up and having to pee outdoors. It doesn’t make her look away or form a value judgement. This isn’t the only bodily function that Em is trying to avoid – sweat, sore armpits where her blouse was too tight, foot blisters – they’re all unladylike and shouldn’t be seen. I go loopy when I see Naked Attraction where women’s vulvas are often praised as ‘all neat and tucked in’ and ‘hygienic’ for having no pubic hair. Apparently we should also have a thigh gap and be in proportion. Sometimes they seem keen to erase so much of us, it’s a wonder we don’t just disappear. Rose is the furious feminist voice in the novel and she’s almost like a mentor to Em, listening and giving frank advice where needed plus the odd political rant here and there. She is her own woman and lives life on her terms. Could Em ever be like that? Could she acknowledge with her friends and her religious family that the love of her life is Nikki, a woman? Could she live a happier life focused on what she loves? Em seems to realise that her destiny is to be an example. Only she can discover which direction to go and the best way to achieve it.
Out now from Headline and currently 99p on Kindle
Meet The Author
Natali Simmonds began her career in glossy magazines, then went on to manage marketing campaigns for big brands. She’s now a creative brand consultant, freelance writer, and fiction author, writing gritty and unflinching stories full of complex women and page-turning suspense (and sometimes a little magic).
Simmonds’ dark, feminist thriller debut, Good Girls Die Last, has been optioned for a television series by STV. As N J Simmonds, Natali penned the fantasy trilogy The Path Keeper and Son of Secrets, and in 2022 was shortlisted for the RNA Fantasy Award for the last book in the series, Children of Shadows. She’s one half of paranormal romance author duo, Caedis Knight, and has also written for manga.
When she’s not writing or consulting, she’s a columnist for Kings College London’s ‘Inspire The Mind’ magazine, and lectures for Raindance Film School. Originally from London, Natali now divides her time between Spain, the UK, and the Netherlands where she can be found drawing, reading in her hammock, or complaining about cycling in the rain.
For her debut novel Clemmie Bennet has chosen to write something so complex I have to take my hat off to her. Ella has recently lost her beloved grandmother, Lolly. They used to spend a lot of time together, exploring stately homes and royal residences, particularly those from the Tudor period. Lolly left her granddaughter a beautiful gold and sapphire ring, one that’s very precious to Ella as she remembers her grandmother wearing it every day on a chain around her neck. However, it’s when Ella puts the ring on her finger that something very strange happens. Ella feels dizzy and passes out, waking up in a field next to what looks like Eltham Palace. As a man walks towards her, Ella thinks she’s fainted in the middle of an historical reenactment. He’s dressed in the rich robes of a member of the Tudor court and his manners are impeccable, offering to let Ella rest in the palace until her memory returns. Her rescuer is Henry VIII. As Ella finds herself in the court, becoming one of Katherine of Aragons ladies, she is a fly on the wall for some of the most dramatic events in royal and religious history. Is it possible to remain an observer, or will Ella find herself tempted to intervene and perhaps change the course of history?
I’ve been fascinated by Tudor history, ever since I saw one of the Hans Holbein portraits of Henry VIIII in the Chatsworth library when I was a child. Henry seemed like a curiosity in our royal history with so many wives and scandals to his name. Once I’d read the David Starkey books and Phillipa Gregory’s novels from The Other Boleyn Girl onwards. I was also drawn to the glamour and dubious historical content of the Showtime series The Tudors, with Jonathon Rhys Meyers Henry and his best friend the Duke of Suffolk, as portrayed by the rather delicious Henry Cavill. What all these sources brought home to me was how uneven his marriages were – he was married to Katherine of Aragon for as long as he was to every other wife combined. That’s without noting his devotion to her from the moment she reached England for her marriage to Henry’s elder brother Arthur, a devotion that survived his teenage years, her first marriage and his brother’s death. They were in love, he wasn’t faithful but Kings were not expected to be faithful. The idea of a character time travelling to that period threw up all sorts of questions and I was so impressed by the bravery of the writer. Writing historical fiction means researching your period throughly, so to do that and put your character in the middle of such a well- known series of events is such a risk.
I also applaud the author’s bravery in ripping up the rule book on time travel – we all know that it is important not to change anything in the past, but Ella ignores that rule. It’s a great choice because it gives her character more freedom, but I also think it makes an historical point too. I have always said that had I been in the Tudor court, I would do a Mary Boleyn and marry someone of little importance and get the hell out of there. I have always wondered while reading about the wives and friends of Henry why you would involve yourself in the political and religious machinations of the time. Wouldn’t a life in the country as a nobody be preferable? I think that the author allows Ella to get involved because she’s making the point that it would be impossible to live in that court and not become involved. It’s a game of survival and women are both marginalised and limited in their choices. They have a choice, to withdraw for a quiet life like Mary Boleyn or fight for their place and power like her sister Anne. Ella’s choices certainly raise the tension level! She’s playing a living game of chess, trying to keep within the rules but think three steps ahead of her opponent. Of course she has the benefit of hindsight and all the Tudor history her grandmother Lolly taught her, so she might be able to win.
I thought the book really brought to life the difficulties of the time period and being a subject of Henry VIII, particularly for women. We know there are ladies in waiting, but they’re often portrayed as companions the Queen and possible lovers of the King, but here we see more of their day to day activities and their emotional lives. Ella is a 21st Century woman and because of that we can see these women as being just like us. I loved the way she formed friendships and how the women supported each other. They are portrayed as emotionally open about their marriages and the dangers they face, whether from men or from their own bodies. Fertility plays a major part in the huge decisions of this court, in fact it still does today if we think of Prince Harry’s book Spare and the importance placed upon his father to marry and have both heir and spare. It’s always a huge part of the ‘King’s Great Matter’ that Katherine had not produced a male heir, but here the author explores what these struggles were like for the ordinary women at court. There’s a moment where Ella has to cope with getting her period in a time where underwear isn’t worn and she’s having all the same worries I remember having when starting my periods, all over again. It made me realise how vulnerable women were to sexual assault as well. It broke my heart to see how terrified women were of becoming pregnant, then dreading childbirth or losing their child. Having Ella there as a 21st Century comparison really heightened how different a woman’s lot really was and how the aristocratic practice of handing your child to someone else to look after caused such pain and grief.
I came away from this book with a different understanding of both the time and the court, even Henry himself. This Henry was intelligent, tender and seductive. Despite his shortcomings, there’s a compassion in Henry that seems missing from his actions in later years. It’s interesting to see how different the course of history might have been with just a few small changes. As Ella builds a friendship with Henry, I wondered how far her influence might reach and what might happen if she ever returned to her own time. This kept me reading and there was also a huge twist I didn’t expect! This was such an interesting premise and kept me intrigued enough to read to the end. I recommend this to anyone who knows a bit about the time period and maybe thinks they know all there is to know about Henry’s court. I would be interested to know what the author would change if she went back to Henry’s court, or whether she would choose to lie low? This is such an interesting debut and I hope to see Clemmie flourish as a writer of historical fiction.
Meet the Author
Clemmie Bennett is a writer, author of the historical fantasy “The Apple and the Tree.” A professional London-based French nanny, Clemmie has been working on her debut novel for over three years, but writing a book has been on her bucket list for as long as she can remember. When she is not writing or reading, she can be found wandering about ancient royal palaces or abbey ruins, most likely despairing that time travel is not a reality – like it is for her main character.
Rachel has loved Alistair since she was seventeen.
Even though she hasn’t seen him for sixteen years and she’s now married to someone else.
Even though she was a teenager when they met.
Even though he is almost twenty years older than her.
Now in her thirties, Rachel has never been able to forget their golden summer together on a remote, sun-trapped Greek island. But as dark and deeply suppressed memories rise to the surface, Rachel begins to understand that Alistair – and the enigmatic, wealthy man he worked for – controlled much more than she ever realized.
Rachel has never once considered herself a victim – until now.
I devote a lot of my time to reading, but there are times when a book makes me drop everything. I carry it in my bag to read while waiting for appointments. It takes precedence over Netflix and all the other streaming channels that lure us into watching the screen every evening. I spent my whole morning in pyjamas reading, because I needed to finish this novel in one greedy gulp. I was completely transfixed by this story of a young girl taking a holiday to Greece that completely changes her life. Rachel is a naïve seventeen years old when she sets out to the island for a holiday with her friend Caroline. She sells it to her worried parents as being no different to a gap year, just a year earlier than normal. Once on the island they meet a group of girls who work in a local bar, belonging to entrepreneur Harry Taylor. When Rachel meets his right hand man Alistair she feels an immediate attraction but does he feel the same way? Surely she isn’t going to capture the attention of a handsome and sophisticated older man. She does notice him looking at her and it sends a shiver through her. Rachel has never thought of herself as beautiful, especially next to the other girls here, but as Alistair singles her out for attention she feels special. They have a connection, so strong that she makes a huge decision. She isn’t going to return to England with Caroline at the end of the holiday. She is going to work in the bar alongside the girls she’s made friends with and share their rather chaotic house nearby. Why would she return to her parent’s suffocatingly ordinary semi and her A’Levels when she can be on this golden island with Alistair and frequent the glamorous parties held by his mysterious boss at his enormous villa in the hills?
The structure of the book is interesting, because usually in time slip novels we have a protagonist in the here and now trying to solve a mystery interspersed with glimpses into the past that make sense of the present. Here the author turns that on it’s head. Rachel, now in her thirties and married to Tom, knows what happened in the past. She holds her relationship with Alistair up on a pedestal, their love was special and those months with him on a beautiful Greek island have been her benchmark of how love should be. It’s a revisit to the island with Tom and bumping into Helena that starts to unravel the rather idealised past she’s been narrating to us. The present actually deconstructs her past. As each new revelation washes over Rachel in the present it takes us into a past that’s changed a little, becoming murkier and more sinister. Rachel is still friends with Jules, a friend she made on the island who was separate to the bar. In fact it’s Jules who gives seventeen year old Rachel a warning, the locals think there’s something ‘off’ about the bar and perhaps it would be best to stay away. In the present Jules and her husband have Rachel and Tom over for dinner. They’re chatting about having a family, but Rachel and Tom have been trying for around a year without success. Tom mentions that they’ve talked about seeing a doctor to have a few things checked out when Rachel responds angrily that he wants to see a doctor, she hasn’t agreed to anything. Her harsh responses change the night and seem out of character. She’s told us about how easy it was to fall in love with Tom and how they’d taken steps to move in together almost without realising it, when she’d stayed for a few days while some work was being done on her flat. Of course by now we know that Rachel has Alistair’s number and has made plans to see him again. Could that have made her less invested in her future with Tom? Later we see that she’s stashed her contraceptive pills in a box of sanitary towels under the bathroom sink, she’s still been taking one regularly every day.
IT’S TOO HOT to be outside for long. Sweat is starting to dampen my scalp, thickening in the roots of my hair and pooling in the crevices of my collar bone. My t-shirt sticks to my spine and my arms are tinged pink, an ungainly line of skin beginning to blister along the top of my thigh in the almost unseasonable blaze of sun. I curl my toes into the damp sand and feel the sharpness of a small shell against the sole of my foot.
Our setting so powerful, that beautiful sun soaked island with the sound of boats rocking rhythmically in the harbour and that incredible opening line that took me straight back to standing in the sea and feeling that sharp edge of a sea shell. She captures that push and pull between the tourists and the locals who, even thought they’re in exactly the same place, see it completely differently – rather like Rachel and the other girls. I could see the slightly scruffy house they all share and the chaos and fun of getting ready together, sharing clothes and cheap bottles of wine. Harry’s house in the hills is another contrast, sleek and modernist with contemporary art on the walls. Even the sea looks different from high in the hills, appearing flat and smooth like a lake on the surface, but with dangerous riptides underneath. The present sections mainly take place in London and the author shows us the city as visitors probably don’t see it. She describes a rather special Sunday evening feel to the tube when it’s almost empty and strangely quiet, as if having a rest before the Monday morning commuter rush. She describes sudden rain showers and people having to improvise and use their handbag to shield their hair from the downpour. Rachel loves living in the capital, compared to her parent’s suburban family home. There’s an energy and unpredictability to it’s rhythms, a sense that there are so many options, anything could happen. Whereas home has a particular tameness and routine that Rachel finds stifling. Could Rachel’s decision to stay on the island and even her attraction to Alistair have something to do with the way she views her mum and dad’s life? We see Rachel fighting something similar in her marriage, the ordinariness igniting that constant yearning for something more, something others can’t see:
She was ‘hoping this trip would reignite some of the heat that has been missing from my marriage. Instead, I look across at my husband and feel faintly repulsed. His underarms are damp and staining the shirt he put on especially for our last night here. He’s staring out at the sea, but I know he isn’t seeing it the way I do. To him it could be anything. Any view, anywhere. To me the swell of the tide speaks of secrets, the salty air smelling irrevocably of promise.’
It’s very easy to understand the teenage Rachel. I fell in love at seventeen and had my heart broken. For years I idealised that relationship, using it as a benchmark for subsequent relationships that in hindsight had much more potential. She is so naïve that she can’t see what’s happening and how much she is being controlled. It’s almost apt that the book should come out in the light of the Phillip Schofield scandal, because it struck me how the responses to what happened are very different to the responses we might have had when I was seventeen in the early 1990s. Our gradual understanding of coercive control, grooming and power imbalances in relationships have coloured the way we view all relationships completely. An affair with a much older man probably wouldn’t have raised much of an eyebrow then, it’s only with hindsight that it becomes worrying. It’s only once the affair is viewed through the prism of our later experiences, such as having our own daughters, that our perspective changes. The #MeToo movement has changed how we see things. When I watched the film Bombshell I talked with friends I’ve had since I was a teenager and as the author writes in her afterword, we’ve all had experiences: of being groped without consent while waitressing or working behind a bar; having a boss who was a bit ‘handsy’ or made inappropriate comments; being touched an a crowded dance floor at a club. One of the most disturbing stories I have ever heard was from a woman who had known ‘wrestling’ between boys and girls in the school playground turn into sexual assault. I love that my stepdaughters are so much better informed than I was and are very conscientious about keeping each other safe when out with friends, although it frustrates me that they have to be so vigilant just to go out on a Friday night.
The Girls of Summer was born out of this strange and sometimes conflicting intersection between nostalgia and trauma, memories and the truth, power and sexuality. It explores the grey areas of consent, deepening a debate that has shifted and broadened since the #MeToo hashtag first took social media by storm. It interrogates what it means when we are forced to reframe a narrative that is so central to who we are that we aren’t sure who to be when that narrative turns out to be false. Is it better to face up to this truth, and all of the pain that comes with it, or to keep it hidden in the dark?
The Girls of Summer, Afterword
Watching the teenage Rachel walk into danger is upsetting because this reader was ahead of the narrative and knew something was very wrong with the island set-up, particularly the extravagant parties. There was no explanation for all the male party guests and the mysterious Harry rarely appeared. On her way to a party, Rachel is excited and hopes Alistair loves her dress, she’s grateful that the girls have been invited never realising that they are the reason for the party. The gaslighting afterwards was painful to read – ‘you had fun didn’t you?’ Or ‘don’t feel bad about what happened, it’s okay, you enjoyed it.’ When they’re in the middle of that level of pressure, manipulation and controlling the narrative how would they be able to see through it and understand what’s truly going on? Even for an adult Rachel it’s hard. Her relationship with Alistair and it’s veracity is part of who she is, how she views men and relationships and determines her friendships with the very women who might understand her most. When the truth of everything is revealed, the horror of the Full Moon party and further painful revelations, it’s so hard for her to absorb and accept it. I found it deeply sad that even towards the end of the book, Rachel has still held a tiny shred of hope that her version of the relationship with Alistair will prove to be the love story she wanted.
When the truth is so deeply painful and damaging, isn’t it understandable that she would want to sugar coat things a little? To push away the truth and not have to confront what happened to you. To not feel like a victim. I could truly understand the women coming together to confront the past and I found myself thinking about how powerful men frame the narrative. They talk about a cabal or coven of women coming together to destroy them. Women who have been taking drink or drugs and having an encounter they bitterly regret in the morning. I can only imagine what effect it must have on the individual, to hear comments like Prince Andrew’s ‘I have absolutely no memory of ever meeting that woman’. For Rachel, who lost absolutely everything that summer, the denial of her experience actually brings the first chink of light into her situation. I felt hopeful that with the help of this group of women, friends like Jules and an acceptance of the truth she could start to rebuild. The fact that I’m talking about Rachel like this, as a real person, is testament to the brilliant writing of Katie Bishop. She has created a real, flesh and blood woman in Rachel and I found myself almost wishing I could see her as a client, I so wanted a recovery for her. This is a powerful story, that may trigger some people who’ve had similar experiences, but it’s important for stories like this to be told. I could really see this as a television series, with some reviewers seeing a similarity with The White Lotus – a beautiful setting, a luxury resort and the dark truths lurking underneath all that perfection. I loved the ending though, a return to that beautiful place but with the ability to see the reality instead of a fantasy. I wanted her visit to the island to be different to the one she had with Tom at the beginning of the book. To accept that she will never feel the excitement and promise she felt all those years ago, but that she will experience new feelings that are every bit as worthwhile.
I had thought I could recapture something of how I felt all those years ago by coming back here, but it has only served to remind me how slippery and impossible it is to summon the past. Perhaps this is simply the nature of growing up. Of growing older. Perhaps I will never feel the same again.
Meet The Author
Katie Bishop is a writer and journalist based in the UK. She grew up in the Midlands before moving to Oxford to work in publishing in her early twenties. Whilst working as an assistant editor she started writing articles in her spare time, going on to be published in the New York Times, Guardian, Independent and Vogue.
Katie started writing The Girls of Summer during the first UK COVID lockdown, after becoming increasingly interested in stories emerging from the #MeToo movement. The novel is inspired by her own experiences of backpacking, and by her interest in how our personal narratives can be reshaped and understood in light of cultural and social changes.
In 2020, Katie moved back to the Midlands, and now lives in Birmingham with her partner. She is a full-time writer.
This is Neil’s first novel and fulfils a long held ambition, possibly fuelled by the exact same crisis that hits all of his characters. It’s clear that there’s going to be some sort of social awakening for Marcus at this mid-point in his life. He’s been totally immersed in The Firm’s culture until recently and he’s only just realising how blinkered he’s been as he starts to see people in difficulties all around him – like the homeless man he shares a coffee with on the bench outside St. Paul’s Cathedral. His narration is alternated with that of Claire, who also has a huge landmark building dominating the skyline, Grenfell Tower. This is the south of Kensington and a place where gentrification is slowly pushing poorer and ethnic minority residents out of the area. Claire’s flat is social housing, it’s small but is also cozy and quite quirky especially her reconditioned egg chair that she worked on herself. Her children Alexa and NAME are well looked after and we get the sense that despite the shoplifting Claire is a great mum, just struggling to get by on the universal credit that’s supposed to keep her and her family fed. Claire relies on Gavin quite heavily for emotional support. She’s estranged from her family and friends fell by the wayside long ago. She’s happy to be offered a coffee by one of the new mums at school, Beverley who’s been living in Hong Kong and lives in a home straight out of an interiors magazine. Gavin also brings a little luxury into her life, with his Fortnum’s teas and now offering to come and cook a meal for her in the flat with his neighbour Marcus. For Claire it’s a chance to put on one of her dresses and have someone else cook for a change, something a step up from pasta and cottage pie. For Marcus it’s a chance to have something different from his wife and daughter’s relentless descent into veganism, something he doesn’t remember signing up for.
Marcus’s sections do have some financial jargon but it’s fairly easy to get a grasp of the type of company he works for and he certainly has some fun at their expense. His sections are laced with humour; training sessions in communicating without micro-aggression, joyless drone employees who ditched having fun before university, unhelpful departments like TOOL who seem guaranteed to take a financial pitch and turn it into a pantomime. I particularly loved his lock-down game ‘Through the Zoomhole’ complete with erotic paintings. His home life isn’t short of comic moments either, with his son’s contraband scotch eggs hanging out of his bedroom window advertising entirely the wrong sort of supermarket for their area. He hears about the mystery virus in China at the beginning of the year and his regular attempts to draw people’s attention to it fall on deaf ears. He becomes increasingly anxious as it draws nearer, incredulous that nothing is being prepared but still never realising the shattering personal impact it will have on his life. For Claire, who has asthma, and other residents of the flats it could be even worse. Mr Mahoney who pops in for cake and The Chase every afternoon is very elderly, neighbour Ian who has motor neurone disease and both could succumb to the virus. There’s a great contrast made in how the virus hits those in poverty hardest: Marcus’s boss Kelvin scoots down to his second home in Cornwall just before the lockdown starts whereas Claire and two children are locked down in a tiny flat with no outdoor space of their own. Those who can afford to bulk buy can hoard basic household items and food, whereas universal credit keeps claimants hand to mouth and if the shelves are empty on payday the only answer is to go without. As the circumstances really bite and Gavin is shut away on his parent’s estate in Scotland, it is Marcus who steps up for Claire in altruistic ways he might never have expected before.
I was lucky enough to have a discussion about the book with the author and I mentioned feeling conflicted about the balance of the story. There were long passages describing Marcus’s job where perhaps just a couple of scenes would have given us a flavour of working at The Firm and why Marcus was falling out of love with his role. I think it was an area where the author’s wealth of experience meant the writing flowed and more judicious editing could have cut some of that back. Neil felt the book needed this amount of focus on The Firm because he wanted to satirise the work culture and the corporate world in general. We discussed character and I observed that we had narration from Marcus and Claire throughout but nothing from Gavin’s perspective until the very end. He has some interesting anomalies in his life. He’s wealthy enough to have grown up on an estate in Scotland and while he isn’t the heir, he isn’t short of money. His flat next to Marcus would be unaffordable on a social worker’s pay and his extravagant taste in tea, wine and food is that of someone with an independent source of income. His lifestyle is possible due to a large inheritance from his grandfather, but this has dwindled a little – something explored briefly at the end of the novel and Neil promised there is more focus on this in his next instalment. I worried about Gavin because he seems such a solitary character and I found myself wondering what he did on those evenings when he wasn’t having dinner with Marcus. He has no significant other and dating or previous relationships are never mentioned. I wondered whether he had a lifestyle that wouldn’t have fit in with his wealthy and traditional family, hence the distance between his life and theirs. He is the most intriguing of the three main characters and these questions were never answered, so it was great to discuss them with Neil. I told him how much I wanted to hear Gavin’s perspective and live for a while inside his head so felt this was a wasted opportunity. Neil was happy that I was so involved with his character and told me that he deliberately left the question of Gavin’s sexuality ambiguous. He felt that Gavin was attracted to Marcus, but wanted the reader to think and make their own minds up. It’s a surprise when we do have a section narrated by him and witness something that came completely out of the blue and made me worry about his future. We discussed how, on the whole, I thought the novel made it’s point well and I really enjoyed the social justice aspects of the story as Marcus came ever closer to possibly changing his life. I was intrigued as to whether his wife Alice would be open minded enough to go with him and make radical changes to their lives. I certainly hoped so.
Out Now
I retired from a career in the corporate world in November 2019 with three objectives. To travel around the world and fly fish in the most exotic locations, to play my electric guitar better than I do and to write a novel that I could be genuinely proud of. The pandemic and lockdown in March 2020 put my first two objectives on hold leaving me no option but to start writing. Two and half years later, ‘Maybe It’s About Time’, my first novel, was published.
As a piece of work, I am incredibly proud of it. It makes me laugh and cry in equal measure. I am even more proud that readers seem to be enjoying it just as much and it is getting great reviews.
Travel and fly fishing has now started again, my guitar playing is improving and a sequel to ‘Maybe It’s About Time’ is planned to start in 2023!
The Lotus Readers 