Category: Squad Pod Collective

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Leaving by Roxana Robinson. 

Posted on by thelotusreaders

For years and years, when I’m asked the question which book has hit me hardest emotionally I’ve always had to say One Day by David Nicholls. It’s the last book that made me cry spontaneously for one of the characters. I still remember the exact line. Now I’ll be able to say Leaving was the last book that absolutely tore my heart out. Sarah sees Warren, who she dated for a while in their college years. She had ended it, unsure whether they were a good fit. Yet they never stopped thinking about each other. Sarah is divorced now and lives alone in her country home with her dog Bella for company. She has a daughter who’s married and lives a distance away with her husband and two children. Sarah works at a gallery, currently putting together an exhibition about the Bloomsbury Group. Warren lives just outside Boston and has his own architectural practice in the city. He’s married to Janet, exactly the sort of wife he has needed: attractive, a good hostess and great mum to their daughter Kattie who is an older teenager. However, his wife is also a snob, very aware of who should be in their social circle and how things should be done. They don’t talk about current affairs together, listen to an opera or read the same books. Perhaps their marriage has always been like this, but it feels empty since he saw Sarah again. Can he spend the rest of his life in this marriage as he promised or can he be with Sarah? If he leaves what price will he have to pay? 

This novel is so clever in the way it engages with your morals and emotions. I was so caught up with the romance of Sarah and Warren, so much sweeter because it is second time around. I felt their urgency. It’s unthinkable thar they shouldn’t grab, what feels like, a last chance of happiness. I felt so much for Sarah, who is an intelligent and self-sufficient woman post divorce. She has such a solitary life, seemingly with a handful of friends. Her life is made up of her job, her home with poodle Bella and occasional visits with her daughter and son-in-law. I loved the tender moments she has with her dog, something I understand completely and just as important as anyone else when considering big life decisions. It feels like she’s where she belongs on the edge of the reservoir walking with her canine companion, so in tune together. She does feel a little remote from her daughter, wanting to be like other grandmothers who look after their grandchildren regularly and have one multi-generational family. Sarah doesn’t quite feel invited into her daughter’s life. I didn’t feel any dislike for her or begrudge her happiness with Warren, even though it comes at the cost of his wife’s happiness. They felt easy and uncomplicated together. Sarah thinks of his wife but doesn’t feel like the other woman because he was hers first. Their relationship is a continuation of something started long ago, or is this simply their justification for something outside their normal moral code. The author beautifully captures those heady romantic moments of a new relationship with simple moments, the joy of receiving flowers or the secret smile that comes from a loving text in the middle of a working day. Sarah doesn’t lie to her own children, she tells them she’s seeing someone from her past. That he’s married. They are happy for her. 

Warren’s life is more complicated. The author takes us between his and Sarah’s inner thoughts seamlessly. They are two halves of a whole. By comparison his married life feels mundane and rather one note, but it’s unfair to compare a new love or even a recaptured love with thirty years of married life. A few deft touches show us a marriage that’s become routine, Janet’s red house dress being just one. The reappearance of a frozen chicken pot pie is a beautifully used example. It appears early on, only to be replaced with a beautifully cooked beef bourguignon as Janet tries to win her husband back. It promises so much, this is how it will be from now on. Only to revert to chicken pot pie again, but it isn’t just a pie, it signifies a marriage that’s fallen back into a well worn groove. It screams ‘is this it?’ Janet has done nothing wrong, they haven’t had a bad marriage and when Warren feels the weight of those years there’s a fondness, a gratitude for all those shared moments that make up a marriage. He is both grateful for them and buried beneath them. Does he deserve to climb out from underneath them? Or is it an unforgivable betrayal of everything they’ve shared as a couple and a family? 

I loved some of the subplots to the main love story. I found Sarah’s work fascinating. I remember talking to someone ar the V & A about one of their fashion exhibits and the process of creating something with such impact. I hadn’t known a job existed where you could sit and discuss a artist’s work, then choose the pieces you want to tell a story. I thought the quandary over whether to go with a well- known scholar on the Bloomsbury group versus a newer academic voice echoed the love story so completely. The best known scholar may promise something new but will likely deliver something competent but safe. The newer voice might offer something dynamic and new but they aren’t a very big name yet, is newer always better? Sarah’s daughter’s third pregnancy isn’t easy and terrible news brings Sarah deeper into their lives and closer to her grandchildren. I also loved how Kattie’s wedding placed stress on her whole family, especially where Janet wants the big, formal society wedding and her daughter starts to feel overwhelmed. The wedding planner tells them that a wedding is basically a microcosm of society, the one of which their family is a part. People aren’t perfect, so weddings never are either. Neither is marriage.

Everything about this novel rings true, from the details that set each scene to the love story that binds everything together. It’s exquisitely written, drawing you in so very slowly, then unravelling quickly to it’s emotional conclusion. There’s a point in the book where I have never wanted to slap a character more! Even though their actions are understandable and possibly morally justified, I was still absolutely furious and had to share the story with my husband whose immediate response was exactly the same. Once an affair starts to turn into something more, so many decisions have to be made and the sacrifices those choices will create become stark and very real. Sarah has imagined living with Warren, but she’s always thought of them at her home. This is where she rebuilt herself after her divorce. It’s a place she loves and doesn’t think she can give up. Arguably, Warren’s choices are even more difficult. He knows if he does this, his relationship and happiness with Sarah will come at the cost of someone else’s feelings. On the scales does one happiness outweigh another? Or are some costs simply too great? I simply loved this book and although it’s only January but I have no doubt this will be in my best books list come the end of the year. I would happily read everything else the author’s ever written.

Published by Magpie Feb 2024

Meet the Author

Roxana Robinson is the author of eleven books: seven novels, three story collections, and the biography of Georgia O’Keeffe. Four of these were New York Times Notable Books. 

Robinson was born in Kentucky, but grew up in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. She attended Bennington College and graduated from the University of Michigan. She worked in the art world, specializing in the field of American painting, before she began writing full-time. Her novel, Cost, was a finalist for the NEBA, was named one of the five best fiction books of the year by the Washington Post and received the Fiction Award from the Maine Publishers and Writers Association.Her novel, Sparta, was named one of the ten best books of the year by the BBC, and won the James Webb Award for Distinguished Fiction from the USMC Heritage Foundation, and the Fiction Award from the Maine Publishers and Writers Association. Her fiction has appeared in The Atlantic, The New Yorker, Harper’s, Tin House, Best American Short Stories, and elsewhere. Her non-fiction has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Bookforum, Harper’s, and elsewhere. She was twice a finalist for the NBCC Balakian Award for Criticism and has received fellowships from the National Endowment for the Arts and the Guggenheim Foundation. She teaches at Hunter College, has twice served on the board of PEN, and was President of the Authors Guild, where she continues to serve as a member of the Council. She lives in New York and Connecticut, and spends as much time as she can in Maine.

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The Drownings by Hazel Barkworth

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This is a fascinating read from Hazel Barkworth, capturing so much about the times we’re in while also exploring themes of identity, obsession, use of social media and modern day witch-hunts. Serena was born to swim. Her body is honed by years of training to be the best. When she thinks about her body, she imagines it sleek and pointed like an arrow shooting through the water. Her trainer Nico thinks she can go as far as the Olympics and within the family her winning streak makes her the centre of attention. Then one day it all goes wrong, because despite her training, focus and visualising the win, she loses. She can’t fathom why or what went wrong, but to add to her shock she then slips in the changing area and damages her knee. Now she’s on crutches and cannot swim at all. She knows she will not be ready to meet the next Olympics and the disappointment is crushing. Even worse, within her family, attention shifts to her cousin Zara. Zara has always had issues with her body image, but started an Instagram account promoting body positivity. Her curated Insta in shades of peach, teal and gold, is gathering momentum. She is blossoming in her success and has enough followers for companies to start sending her free products in the hope she might promote them. Just as Zara is making peace with her body and finding success, Serena has no idea who she is. With most of her time previously taken up with diet, exercise, warm-ups and time-splits, she doesn’t recognise herself. Her body only had one purpose and now it’s let her down. How can she be Serena, when the Serena she knew doesn’t even exist any more?

Serena decides to take up a place at university, at Leysham Hall, where her cousin already has a place. Here they both fall under the spell of their feminist lecturer in history, Jane. Serena meets her entirely by accident when walking the grounds one night. She sees a young woman poised by the edge of the river, that rushes downstream at this point of the campus. There have been warnings about this stretch of water, young women going missing and discussions about lighting the area always come to nothing. When the girl disappears, Serena rushes forward to help her. There is no hesitation when she realises the girl isn’t a strong swimmer and is in serious trouble. She leaps in and then Jane appears, just in time to help Serena bring the girl up to the surface and out. She doesn’t notice much about her that night, but she does end up in Jane’s history tutorial group and from that point on she feels drawn to the academic. It’s not a sexual attraction, she doesn’t want to be with her, it’s more that she wants to be like her. She loves the unfussy but stylish way that Jane dresses. She admires the knowledge and passion she has about her subject. Totally at odds with her dress sense, Jane’s tutorial room is a riot of colour turning the functional and boring space into something cozy and colourful. There are so many mementoes of places she’s been, feminist posters, colourful rugs and cushions. Mostly, I felt Serena is drawn to the fact that Jane seems so entirely sure of who she is.

A few of my reads this year have touched on a couple of very specific themes and when I thought about why, I could see that this is a product of the times we’re in. There’s the theme of witches and the witch hunting of the 17th Century which grew rife due to the obsession of James I /James VI of Scotland. The second was the influence and power gained by becoming part of all-male, elite, private school gangs like the Bullingdon Club, a club in which David Cameron, Boris Johnson and George Osborne were all members. The club carried out ‘pranks’ such as trashing the restaurant they met in and simply fixing the problem with family money. They burned ten and twenty pound notes in front of homeless people. I also believe this club may have been the source of the Infamous David Cameron and pig story. At Serena’s college it’s the Carnforth Club, named after their school founder they are robed from head to foot to keep their identities secret. As far as witches go, the words witch-hunt are being co-opted by men in powerful positions who don’t like it when their actions have consequences. We have seen it in the aftermath of the #MeToo movement, where men who are finally facing courts of law after years of abuse and sexual assault allegations, are claiming they are victims. The most recent is Russel Brand who has used his YouTube channel to protest his innocence, but has the tried to rehabilitate himself by becoming ‘born again’ and hiding within the Trump family, of all places. These and other men like Prince Andrew. Kevin Spacey, Jeffrey Epstein and Harvey Weinstein have all used the excuse that the media want to take them down. However, it’s not a witch-hunt when you’re one of the most privileged demographics of the world. If you’re moaning about witch-hunts you must genuinely be a victim and since most of these men are always punching down, I think we’re being gaslit.

The original witch-hunts were brutal and targeted mainly women. Jane tells them that witch trials took place where they now study and in fact, the place where Serena had jumped in to rescue a student was where witches were ducked. After a brutal interrogation that included torture, coercion and violation, suspected witches were taken to a river and ‘ducked’. If they drowned they were innocent but if they lived they were declared a witch and burned alive. Jane places this within a feminist framework. We know that ‘witches’ were usually women who lived alone, earned their own living from medical and herbal knowledge, often helped deliver babies in their area and helped other women. By offering advice on things like fertility, preventing pregnancy and helping girls in trouble, local ‘wise women’ gave the women around them some control and autonomy when it came to their own bodies. A woman like his is a threat to men and to the teachings of the established church. No wonder James I worked to the edict from Exodus ‘ thou shalt not suffer a witch to live’. Working as a counsellor and in chronic pain management for years I often realise I have quite a few friends who might come under suspicion from the witch finders.

Both Serena and Zara are dazzled by Jane, Serena has even wondered if Jane and Zara may be attracted to each other. Using Zara’s quite considerable social media platform, they encourage young women in the college to speak out about any sexist and misogynistic treatment they’ve suffered there, particularly if linked to the Carnforth Club. They are soon inundated with messages alleging everything from online abuse to sexual assault. Their anger comes to a head one night at a rally where both Zara and Jane will speak to any of the students who will turn up. Round a campfire they start to share their stories, with the evening rounded off with a call to arms. They must campaign for change. At the crucial moment, Zara is expecting the megaphone to be passed over, but instead Jane chooses to hand it to Serena. Fired up by the atmosphere Serena dives in and starts to rally the women and she is inspired. The night ends as Serena starts to lead a ritualistic dance and before she knows it she’s the leader, whipping up the women into a frenzy as they take off their clothes and follow her. Next day Serena is a little bemused at what happened, but it felt right at the time and she went with it. Even as she goes to sleep, someone is sharing a photograph of her naked and marching in the light from the campfire. It’s sent to the whole college. In the aftermath, Jane wants them to keep up the momentum and break into the hall, where a portrait of the college founder and instigator of the Carnforth Club has pride of place. While most of the group are happy to break in and cause mischief, Jane is considering something much darker and more dangerous. Will everyone go along with her plan? Since the rally, Serena has noticed that Zara is not herself. She seems to have lost some of her audience and her confidence seems to be following. Now that Serena is finding herself, it seems that Zara is losing herself.

The tension really builds here as the author takes us into final third of this thriller and I was fascinated to see how it turned out. I felt for Serena who seems to have found confidence and a sense of what kind of woman she wants to be, but is it real? She struck me as one of those children who’ve been pushed into specialising too early in life with no back-up plan. In all those dark, early mornings at the pool and the times she had to say no to social occasions to train, there’s someone who isn’t allowed to explore who she is and what she enjoys. Her time is so limited and she doesn’t form any meaningful friendships either. How do we know what we love in life if we’ve never tried anything else? She also has a very distant relationship with her own body that’s merely an athletic instrument. She’s used to ignoring aches and pains, divorcing her mind from how far she’s pushing her growing body and never seeing her it as a source of pleasure. Then suddenly she’s surplus to requirements and has no other plan. Placed into the chaos of fresher’s week and meeting so many different and strong characters must be bewildering. When people ask about herself, who is she? She struck me as a borderline personality, who takes on the issues and characteristics of whoever she’s with. She’s vulnerable, used to obeying authority figures and having them control everything down to her food. Zara seems equally fragile though, growing up in the shadow of a cousin who might go to the Olympics is not easy. She’s so proud of her influencer award and in a way, her Insta has been as much about her own validation and acceptance of her body, as it has about inspiring others. Once her star begins to fade, Zara’s confidence plummets and she becomes desperate to make her mark. The author shows us how fragile today’s young women can be with misogyny seemingly rife and the added pressure of a global audience on social media. I wasn’t sure how far either of these girls might go to impress their tutor and display who they are. That’s if this is who they are? This was a brilliant contemporary thriller that asks serious questions about how the authentic self forms within this confusing and dangerous world.

Published 1st August by Review.

Meet the Author

Hazel grew up in Stirlingshire and North Yorkshire before studying English at Oxford. She then moved to London where she spent her days working as a cultural consultant, and her nights dancing in a pop band at glam rock clubs. Hazel is a graduate of both the Oxford University MSt in Creative Writing and the Curtis Brown Creative Novel-Writing course. She now works in Oxford, where she lives with her partner. Heatstroke was her first novel and The Drownings is her second.

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The Final Act of Juliette Willoughby by Ellery Lloyd

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Having just read about female surrealist artists in The Paris Muse by Louise Treager I was so ready for this story about the art world, women painters and a mystery surrounding British artist Juliette Willoughby. The writers tell their story across three timelines. In 1938, Juliette Willoughby is living and painting alongside her lover Oskar in Paris. A British heiress, she left her family and their money behind for a life as an artist who is best known for her painting ‘Self-Portait as Sphinx’, thought to be lost in a studio fire where she also lost her life. We meet our main characters Caroline and Patrick at Cambridge in 1991, where they are both studying art history and specialise in the Surrealists. They are sent to the same dissertation supervisor and while researching come across something sinister about Juliette’s death. Their investigations may expose terrible secrets about the Willoughby family, who are acquaintances of both students and aristocrats who don’t want their family history out in the open. Our final timeline is present day Dubai where Patrick is an art dealer and lives with his wife. Caroline is now an academic and expert on Surrealism, especially Juliette Willoughby so when a new Self-Portrait as Sphinx is uncovered he asks her to fly to Dubai and authenticate the painting. A sale is on the cards and Patrick needs to know if this painting is a second version by the artist and potentially worth millions. He plans a night for collectors to view the painting and offer sealed bids, but the night ends with Patrick in a cell accused of murdering one of his closest friends – the last surviving member of the Willoughby. There are now three suspicious deaths linked to this painting, but can Caroline unlock the mystery before Patrick is charged with a crime he didn’t commit?

I have a real interest in art history and the lives of artists, probably formed when I studied Victorian art history as part of my literature degree. My particular interests are the Pre-Raphaelites, the Arts and Crafts movement, Klimt and Frida Khalo, so it was brilliant to learn more about the Surrealists who are outside of my experience. My only understanding is that the artists may be representing the contents of their subconscious rather than the conscious. I can be a little bit scathing of some modern art, having my teenage years in the 1990s we were in the world of the YBAs – such as Damien Hurst and Tracey Emin. I have been to gallery openings where I could only conclude that other people had an ability to see something I couldn’t or that everyone was affected by a dose of the Emperor’s New Clothes – too scared to say anything negative they just nodded along and agreed it was good. I will never grasp why people spend a fortune on paintings that are nothing more than a red square on a beige background. As you can imagine, I drove my artist friend crazy when we visited the Guggenheim in NYC. I understand a piece that hits you in the emotions or a true passion to own and look at something incredibly beautiful every day, but it seems that more often than not investors pay millions for something that will sit in a storage unit. I thought I might find the art world in the book pretentious, but I could understand Caroline’s deep fascination with Juliette. There’s something about a female artist, often overshadowed by the man she lives with, that brings out the feminist in me. From Dora Maar whose photography and painting was eclipsed by Picasso to authors like Zelda Fitzgerald, thought to have contributed greatly to F. Scott Fitzgerald’s writing, there’s an urge to uncover their talent and put them in their historical context. This is the passion of Caroline, but Patrick is definitely complicit in trying to solve the mysteries the this particular painting found at a party in the Willoughby mansion.

This story has all the ingredients of a good old-fashioned mystery with the archetypal eccentric aristocratic family at it’s centre. Juliette’s father is an Egyptologist who never got over the death of her younger sister Lucy who drowned in the lake. Juliette is aware that she can never measure up to the baby of the family, who never reached her teenage years or tested her family. After her death, her father built a pyramid shaped sarcophagus on the island in the middle of the lake. Close to Lucy’s death, a maid disappeared from the house and then Juliette’s cat went missing too. Keeping the Egyptian theme was the club the Willoughby men formed at university, which had several similarities to the Bullingdon club. It was like an American college fraternity with it’s own initiation tests, pranks and hazing rituals. All members wear a signet ring with an Egyptian hieroglyph. Patrick was friends with both Harry and Freddie Willoughby, but the brother’ enmity for each other ran deep. At the party attended by Caroline and Patrick, Freddie disappeared after falling from some scaffolding during an argument with his brother. The amount of blood left behind would indicate a severe head injury but he is nowhere to be found, much to the distress of his girlfriend Athenia. It’s this same night when Caroline finds Juliette’s masterpiece and her diary. On impulse she takes the painting, wraps it carefully and places it in the boot of Patrick’s MG. What can she do with it from here and will the Willoughby’s know that it’s gone? Patrick suggests it’s placed in a small country sale where it’s value will go under the radar and they should be able to legitimately buy it, yet the unthinkable happens and the painting soars above when they can afford. Caroline still has the diary though and through it we can hear about her life with Oskar and the inspiration for the painting. She brings 1930s Paris alive for us a d provides clues to the symbolism of her Sphinx painting.

Finally, these sections are interspersed with the present day where Patrick has asked Caroline to come to Dubai. This is all the more tense because she is his ex-wife and Patrick has remarried. He wants her in Paris to answer questions that potential investors might ask. How can she know this piece is by the same artist as the 1930’s painting and is it from the same time period? There are differences in the smaller narrative parts of the painting in the background, why would the artist change them? Soon the presence of the painting brings other people from the past into Dubai, including Freddie’s girlfriend from the 1990’s Athenia. She is advising one investor who wants to remain nameless and as they all gather to make their bids in just one night it becomes clear that Patrick and Caroline’s reputations hang in the balance. However, it’s Patrick who finds himself in a cell, losing his standing, his financial future, his liberty and possibly even his marriage. What could have gone so wrong? This is such a complex mystery and as we get closer to unravelling some of the secrets, the tension starts to build. It definitely grips you and keeps the pressure on. I loved the history unravelled through Juliette’s diary and her take on what it’s like to live and work alongside another artist. There’s a certain point where I found myself reaching for the book in my downtime more than putting on the TV or radio. It’s a real skill to build tension like these authors do, slowly but surely sucking you in. You will find that you want the answers as much as Caroline and Patrick do. I also thought there were more tangled questions than they could ever resolve, but keep going. It’s definitely worth it and there are no loose ends left untied. I found myself focused on Juliette, Caroline and Patrick more than any other characters. Others are definitely hard to like – especially those with the hint of the Bullingdon Club in their pasts and a sense of elitist entitlement in their characters. These are people who will commit any sort of crime to keep their status and the respectability of their family. I found this attitude strangely believable in the recent political climate where lies and cover-ups seem to be the norm. I was amazed how well it was all tied-up and how the author used distraction and first person narrative to make sure we only read what they wanted us to. The novel moves effortlessly from writer to writer and I wouldn’t have known it was a writing team. They are masters at letting us into some secrets while shielding others until later on, right up until the last few pages.

Out now from Pan MacMillan

Meet the Authors

Ellery Lloyd is the pseudonym for New York Times bestselling husband-and-wife writing team Collette Lyons and Paul Vlitos.

Collette is a journalist and editor, the former content director of Elle (UK) and editorial director at Soho House. She has written for The Guardian, The Telegraph, and the Sunday Times.

Paul is the author of two previous novels, Welcome to the Working Week and Every Day is Like Sunday. He is the program director for Professor of Creative Writing at the University of Greenwich.

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Escape to the Tuscan Vineyard by Carrie Walker

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Just when Abi thinks she’s getting her big break as a movie make-up artist, everything starts to go wrong. When she’s told her booking on Moonmen was a mistake, she wonders if it had anything to do with her encounter in a sauna with a good looking guy who wasn’t honest about who he was. Nevertheless she has been paid for a month and when she tells her best friend Holly, she says there’s no excuse not to fly out to Tuscany and pay her a long overdue visit. When she makes it to San Gimignano she’s charmed by the ancient town and the lovely B and B that she’s booked into. The owners, Mia and Paulo are just starting out and Abi has the chance to be a guinea pig, sampling their food, activities and the wine from the attached vineyard. Then she meets Tony, a handsome American Italian man at Holly and her boyfriend Xavier’s restaurant and she decides to have a little holiday fling. Since the heartbreak she encountered in her last long term relationship, Abi has a rule when it comes to affairs of the heart; single encounters only because then she can’t get attached and can’t be hurt. However, something told me that Tony might not be discouraged as easily as she thinks.

Well this novel is a lovely slice of Italian sunshine! It can be read in a day and is the perfect escapist read. I’m not a usual romance reader so this wasn’t something I’d normally pick up. I wasn’t even sure I was going to like it at first because Abi was the type of person who rubs me up the wrong way. In fact there were moments I wanted to give her a slap. When we first meet her she’s running everywhere, helping her Mum out with hair and make-up when an ill advised spray tan and hair tint have left her looking like an Oompa Loompa. Luckily Abi has all the fixes to get her glowing again then she’s off picking up balloons and cake, getting changed and decorating a party room ready for her friend’s surprise birthday ‘do’. She’s so precise and controlled about everything. The discipline she has to get up every morning and pull on her running gear, even when she isn’t working, made me shudder.

‘A quick shower and I was in full make-up by 7.35am and ready for the day ahead. Which suddenly felt like a lot of time to fill. I made the pot of chamomile tea and opened my notepad to start a fresh, new list and get myself organised. I loved a list. It helped me feel in control.’

Abi is all routine and organisation, with no fun or relaxation. Luckily I’m a huge fan of transformation and I had a feeling that this one was going to be worth waiting for. I really enjoyed the humour in the story and I knew if anything could change someone Italy could. Abi loosened up by slow degrees – with a cake for breakfast here and a lie-in there. This is mainly because Italy forces her to be spontaneous. Despite a well planned itinerary Abi can’t sightsee because the buses don’t always run on time and sometimes don’t turn even up. People often close their shops to pop for lunch or an afternoon nap when the heat becomes too much. There’s nothing to do some days except be in the pool and the shade. She soon realises that La Dolce Vita is the only way and she’ll have to get on board with it. I started to enjoy this more relaxed Abi and as we hear more of her story and her feelings of loss and heartbreak the more we understand her.

The setting is simply magical. The vineyard view with the red roofs of the town in the distance sounded idyllic and the food made my mouth water. I’m also a massive fan of Glow-Up even though I rarely use make-up myself, so I loved all the detail about Abi’s career and how skilled she is creating everything from a face painted with bunches of grapes to a full Venetian mask with feathers and gold detailing. When she’s using her skills to help the vineyard and the people she loves, Abi really does shine. I did get drawn in by the romance because it’s impossible to dislike Tony. He’s a straight forward decent man who doesn’t play games and respects Abi’s boundaries. I wanted him to be able to break them down, but I didn’t know if he’d be able to. Ironically, in her desperate need to avoid being hurt, she’s hurting herself. I felt like I’d had a holiday myself when I finished the book. I’d thoroughly enjoyed the villa, especially the wine festival with its incredible food and a fairy lit pergola – the perfect venue for dancing the night away. The family of puppies were pretty irresistible too. Venice was the absolute crowning glory of the story, with Abi making-up the movie stars she’s longed to work with and dealing out some sweet revenge at the same time. Plus it’s my favourite place in the world so that helps. It’s wonderfully uplifting to see someone leave behind painful and negative patterns, it’s one of the reasons I love counselling. Even more than I wanted Abi to find romance, I wanted her to truly live life again instead of trying to control it. I could see a whole new world opening up for her and that made for a very satisfying read. I remember a bit of Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert where she’s done the praying and the eating and falls in love on the island of Bali. She goes to her herbal doctor who listens as she panics that she’s not kept to her meditation routine and she’s going to lose the balance she’d worked so hard for. Her doctor smiles at this and points out that if we look at our lives overall there has to be some imbalance, otherwise it won’t be balanced. This is something Abi has had to realise for herself.

‘I didn’t want to slip back into my old, controlling ways. I needed to start taking chances again. My lists had to be less about cleaning and more about trying new things and going to new places. I’d wasted so much time…’

And what about Tony? I’ll leave you to find that out for yourself.

Meet the Author

Carrie Walker is a Brummie born romcom lover with a lifelong passion for travel. She has lived in a ski resort, by a beach, in the country and the city, and travelled solo through Asia, South America and Europe.

Her own love life was more com than rom until she met her husband a few years ago and settled down with him and her dog Ziggy in a pub-filled village in Essex.

Longlisted for Helen Lederer’s Comedy Women in Print prize in 2021, writing has long been Carrie’s side hustle, penning columns and features for newspapers and magazines, while working in many other jobs. She has been the CEO of a global disability movement, a board director of a brand agency, the editor of a newspaper, a radio presenter, a football mascot, dressed up as a carrot for the BBC and now she is writing books. Escape to the Swiss Chalet was her debut novel.

Posted in Squad Pod Collective

Prima Facie by Suzie Miller

Posted on by thelotusreaders

I was only a few pages into this thriller, when I wished I’d seen Suzie Miller’s stage play of the same name running in the West End with an award-winning performance by Jodie Comer. I could see that Comer was the perfect choice for Tessa because I imagine she would understand this character perfectly. Tessa has brought herself from the council estates of Liverpool, via similar areas in Luton, through Cambridge University to one of the best barrister’s chambers in London. Tessa is a defence barrister, one of the best in the competitive area of criminal law. She thinks like a lawyer, her job isn’t about the truth. It isn’t about whether her client is innocent or guilty, in fact she doesn’t want to know. It’s about following the intricacies of the law. It’s about looking for the holes in the prosecution’s case and exploiting them, bringing them to the attention of the jury and creating doubt. All she has to do is create enough reasonable doubt in the minds of the jury that the law directs them to an acquittal. It’s almost a game. A very high stakes game for the defendant, but Tessa gets paid either way. For her it’s the enjoyment of winning and seeing the the system she believes in, applied correctly. However, when Tessa goes on a date with a fellow barrister from her chambers, something goes wrong. Then she realises that the law might not be in her favour after all. Perhaps justice is more equal for some than others.

I was immediately enthralled by Tessa’s narrative voice. She’s smart, a quick study of other people and how they present themselves to the world. She is a brilliant, intelligent and careful lawyer. The author presents law like a religion. Tessa believes in the British justice system, that although there are anomalies, by and large justice does get served. After making a huge jump from her estate and family to Cambridge, she’s become a quick study of class and tribes. As she arrives at her first university lecture she spies a group of staff in suits hanging around the entrance and wonders if she’s been found out – ‘maybe I fluked it and one of those suited people are going to barge in with a list and call out my name. Tessa Ensler? I’m sorry there’s been a terrible mistake’. The boy sat on her right has clearly come from public school. He has that assured way of being that comes from knowing he belongs here and that he will be among those who change the country. The dean tells them that 1 in 3 of them will fail. As she looks to her other side she sees a girl trying to look dishevelled but with clothes deliberately made that way, rather than being worn out. With her layers of necklaces and raggedy clothes she’s showing that she has the confidence to look bedraggled, whereas as Tessa looks down at her own new jumper and knows she doesn’t belong. They know she doesn’t belong. What if she is the 1 in 3?

Yet she adapts and educates herself in how to blend in and even as a fully-fledged barrister years later, she is still well-versed in the unwritten codes of both the court room and the women barrister’s robing room. She refers to her fellow barristers as thoroughbreds. It isn’t enough for her to be a barrister, she has to know how to look and seem like a barrister. She knows the uniform – grey or blue understated suit, low comfortable heels for standing in court, hair that can withstand the wig, not too much make-up. It’s acceptable to show individuality with some quirky earrings, unusual glasses or chunky heel ankle boots. These little details are the way women have learned to own their own space, to show they are serious about the law, but do it differently to the men. Some things are sacrosanct such as the right shoes – the same designer brand, low key and stylish, but very expensive for a shoe that’s so boring. Yet within her first year as a barrister Tess has the same brand on her feet. Her rebellion comes in tiny acts like wearing a collarless shirt, coloured tights or eye-catching earrings. Individual, but not so out there it would frighten the horses. She also doesn’t have a wig tin, choosing instead to keep her wig in a Tupperware box borrowed from her mum. This is deliberate, it reminds her of where she’s from and how to remain grounded. She resists anyone’s offer to buy a wig tin for her, especially when they refer to her choice as ‘slumming it’. She’s mainly played by the rules and thinks she’s become one of them.

I will mention that there are graphic depictions of sexual assault that are a hard read, but they are necessary. They show the ambiguity that can be brought into the legal arguments. Anyone who reads the account has no doubt what happened between Tessa and her colleague. Yet already I could see the ‘holes’ in her story, the things she does ‘wrong’ and how the difference she thought was invisible, being brought up to weaken her account. She can probably imagine the way a defence barrister will cross-examine her and which parts of her story he will exploit to create doubt in the jury’s mind. I found it so painful when she overhears other female barristers discussing the accused, Julian. Julian was always hoping to be a barrister, his father was before him and is now a judge. He is immediately accepted into this world without once having to work out how to be. As the women discuss going to his dinner party and how terrible this false accusation is for him it’s clear he’s one of them, they probably went to the same school and, like her pupil Phoebe, knew which shoes to buy before they even got here. One female barrister asks her outright why she would accuse Julian, when everyone knew she was into him. She must know it’s hurting her own reputation and her career, she’s alienating the ‘very people who will decide whether she gets silk’. In that moment Tessa wonders why it isn’t hurting Julian’s reputation? There are solicitors who will never instruct her again, people who will not share chambers with her and she will likely never progress with her career again. But he will. It brings home everything about her difference from that clique – the small world of London chambers – her disadvantages as a woman, as someone from the wrong school and the wrong type of estate.

I was fascinated with whether or not Tessa would realise that the law isn’t the same for everyone and that her belief in the system she has worked for is left crumbling at her feet? Added to everything else Tessa feels foolish for every time she has said that the law dispenses justice more or less, for everyone. Now she knows it doesn’t. Even before she’s in the court room she knows that it was her difference that made her a victim in the first place. This wouldn’t have happened to Alice or Phoebe because they are protected by their class:

‘I really had thought that I was now untouchable. That if I just did my job, didn’t stand out, won my cases, I’d be like everyone else in chambers. But I am not. I am disposable, I am rapeable. Just like when I was a kid on the estate. Nothing has changed, other than the class of man that can rape me.’

In being exposed to the way the world works for the right type of people, she has naively assumed that it now works that way for her too. We are so intimate with Tessa, her inner world is huge – full of contradictions and fierce intelligence with a veneer of upper middle-class lifestyle overlying strong working class roots. I was totally engrossed in her and recognised something of myself in that working class background rubbing roughly alongside years of middle class education and lifestyle. I’m conscious of a difference in the way I view the world from the rest of my family, but I’ve always wanted to keep them close. I know that if anything terrible happened they would be there for me, just as I hoped Tessa’s mum would be there for her. I’m aware of the difference in my accent honed by seven years of grammar school, a change that turned me into a vocal chameleon, picking up a trace of wherever I go, wanting to fit in. Tessa notices this with other barristers who have accents, there’s always a court voice that’s clear, concise and authoritative. There are so many points in the story where the author captures a current change in how the world has changed, particularly for women. Tessa recalls a sexual encounter in her teens which was only borderline consensual, but back then was chalked up to experience. I remember these days well: a push up against the wall followed by an unwanted kiss so hard it bruised my lip; a grab of the hips from a man as I reached over to answer a phone in a busy office; a teenage boy who thought that because my friend was snogging with his mate, I was up for it too. These seemed like minor incidents, but wouldn’t be accepted by young women today.

Tessa’s story brought up all those issues of consent that I find so interesting – does consenting to one sexual act mean you’ve consented for everything else? If we consent to sex once, does that mean we’ve consented for that whole night? Does it cover the next morning too? My husband was horrified that in law there was no such thing as marital rape until 1991. Consent was given by the woman through her marriage vows. Alarmingly there are still people who think as long as there is no violence, forced or coerced sexual intercourse within marriage does not constitute rape. The court scenes are electric, written with such tension and power. Watching the balance of that power shifting between defendants and prosecution witnesses and the barristers in their robes, posing the questions with scepticism, repeating them till you trip up and then diving in for the attack. I found myself dreading what would happen to Tessa if she didn’t get justice. Would she cope emotionally? Also, what would it mean for her professionally? Would she be trusted again? I would say ‘reading this….’ in my reviews normally, but I felt more like I was ‘experiencing this’ by Tessa’s side and sometimes in her head. She was as close as my own thoughts at times. I wondered whether it’s possible for someone to be as educated, honed and prepared for such an establishment career as the law, without becoming someone altogether different. Is there a way to separate the professional from the personal, to take on some of the female barrister’s characteristics and traditions but keep a little bit more of who you are? To take a bigger Tupperware box from home and seal even more of that professional persona inside along with the traditional wig. Her struggle between being the Tess she became at Cambridge and her chambers and the Tess who lived for a weekend house party with her friends from the estate is the struggle of every university graduate whose family earned a living in a manual job. A family who encouraged her to push herself, to reach grammar school, then be the first to go to university didn’t realise that with each step they’d lose her a little bit. A gap opens up, created by education, money, culture and lifestyle. I was strongly reminded of Tony Harrison’s poem ‘V’ that beautifully captures this dichotomy within a person, a Northerner that’s settled and makes both their name and their living in the south. Yet one line stood amongst all that anger and dislocation: ‘the ones we choose to love become our anchor’. He meant new friends but I hoped in Tessa’s case she would learn that she can be part of her family, while still being successful. To recognise them as her strength and support, rather than something you drift away from. This book is right up there, with the best I’ve read this year. Don’t miss it.

Published on 14th March by Hutchinson Heinemann. With thanks to the Squad Pod for having me in this month’s book club choice

Meet the Author

Suzie Miller is an international playwright, librettist and screenwriter. She has a background in law, and has won numerous awards, including the Australian Writers’ Guild, Kit Denton Fellowship for Writing with Courage and an Olivier Award. She lives in London and Sydney and is developing major theatre, film and television projects across the UK, USA and Australia.

Posted in Squad Pod Collective

The Murder After The Night Before by Katy Brent

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Something bad happened last night. My best friend Posey is dead. The police think it was a tragic accident. I know she was murdered.

I’ve woken up with the hangover from hell, a stranger in my bed, and I’ve gone viral for the worst reasons.

There’s only one thing stopping me from dying of shame. I need to find a killer.

But after last night, I can’t remember a thing…

This was a delicious pick me up for a winter weekend with unexpected depth! It was the perfect mix of witty fun, but also an interesting thriller that captures the moment with some serious social commentary. When Molly wakes up after the Sparkle magazine Christmas party she’s expecting a hangover of epic proportions. What she isn’t expecting is to wake up next to a complete stranger with no memory of the night before. She has a strange combination of complete amnesia, but underneath that a feeling of unease that won’t go away. He tries to reassure her that all he wanted to do was make sure she got home safely, considering the amount that she drank. Yet, his account of the night before doesn’t make any sense to her either and she starts to question everything. Things only get worse when she staggers into work to hear the worst news she could ever hear. Firstly, there’s a sexually explicit video of her at the party going viral on social media. Worse than that she finds out her best friend and flatmate Posey is dead after an awful accident. The version the authorities give Molly just doesn’t ring true though and she suspects her friend may have been murdered. So Molly starts her own investigation, hoping to unearth the truth of what happened that night but also who would want Posey dead and why?

Molly is such a sparky, likeable character and she brings a lightness to this dark story, just enough to keep a good balance. I warmed to her as it becomes clear how much she cared about her friend and the lengths she’s willing to go to for justice on her behalf. She’s a little clumsy in her investigation skills and has flaws, but that makes her more endearing. She’s far from perfect at first, drinking a lot and dealing with loss, struggling to focus and not remotely motivated by her job on a teen magazine. Molly allows the author to tackle some heavy themes within the novel, it’s her personality that makes these difficult subjects accessible to the reader. This is also brilliant because it accesses readers who might not ordinarily pick up a more ‘serious’ novel on these themes. It’s a fine line to tread, remaining serious about a subject while writing an entertaining and engaging story, but the author has pulled it off here.

The author shows incredible skill by weaving some pertinent social commentary into the plot, about the dangers of social media and misogyny, both online and in real life. Since the murder of Sarah Everard by a serving Met Police officer, the rise of the Incel movement online and influencers like Andrew Tate, the depths of the misogyny in our culture have come to light. I’ve never been more aware of the divides in our society when it comes to race, disability and sexism. The recent and very public ableism and misogyny towards comedian Rosie Jones has been staggering and as a disabled woman I was affected by reading it, goodness only knows how Rosie had felt as their target. I expected the ableism, but felt it was tinged with sexism too because the comedian Lost Voice Guy, who has the same disability as Rosie, doesn’t face this relentless wave of hate. The Wild West that is Twitter has given a toxic platform to men who enjoy gaslighting women and putting them down in the most insulting ways possible. I love that Katy Brent has tackled this misogyny within her story line, from the toxic culture of social media through to the terrible experience of sexual assault. The embarrassing viral video of Molly giving a blow job in the street gets a torrent of disgusting, but very authentic comments from trolls and keyboard warriors, not all of them men. It was just like reading Twitter. None of them were levelled at the man, all the negativity is focused on Molly, effectively bullying and slut-shaming her. It really highlights how there are still different societal standards of sexual behaviour for men and women, but now proliferating on social media.

I really enjoyed Molly’s character growth, at the beginning she’s all over the place, but her love for Posey really makes her focus and get results. Molly realises that Posey was working on an investigation that might have been the cause of her murder. So she has to follow the clues her friend has found, working out answers to the questions she had, all in the hope it will bring her closer to finding her killer. Of course that puts Molly in the same danger, but she wants to find the truth for her friend and shows real loyalty and courage. Molly’s flaws and her self- awareness about them, just make her all the more endearing. There’s some snappy dialogue that keeps the story moving, but also introduces an element of wit and humour. Yes, there are moments here that are truly funny, but the balance between the humour and the darker aspects is maintained throughout. The emotional depth of the characters and particularly Molly’s feelings for her friend really did elevate this above the average thriller, but as the truth starts to unfold, there are twists and turns that leave you wondering if we ever know anyone as well as we think we do.

Published in paperback on 1st February 2023 from HQ

Meet the Author

Katy is an author and award-winning journalist from the UK. She has worked on newspapers, magazines and websites since 2005, writing about popular culture. How To Kill Men and Get Away With It was her first novel and The Murder After the Night Before is her second.

Posted in Squad Pod Collective

Silent Waters by L.V.Mathews

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Is blood thicker than water?

At five a.m. one summer’s morning, police diver Jen Harper wakes to find herself submerged in the silt of a river with no memory of how she got there.

Forty-eight hours later, she’s called to dive in the same river in search of a missing woman, Claudia Franklin.

But for Jen, this is no ordinary job. Her and Claudia’s families were entangled for decades – there is unresolved resentment between them, unspoken secrets.

Jen hasn’t seen Claudia for twelve years now. Or has she?

This was an interesting and complex novel that feels part thriller and part family drama. From the mysterious opening, this is a book full of secrets and lies. It’s a slow burner and I wasn’t sure at first. I found myself more drawn in by the characters involved in the story. Told through Jen, a police diver, it was a perspective I’d never come across before in crime novels. My brain immediately went back to 2023 to the disappearance of Nicola Buller, who went to walk her dog as usual one morning and never came home. The unusual circumstances- her dog left alone, her phone left on a bench on an open work call – caused a media frenzy and people spread wild theories on social media. A diver, who was contracted for searches in waterways by other police forces, offered his services direct to the family saying ‘if she’s in there, I will find her’. He didn’t. Sadly she was found days later. Water behaves in unusual ways and that mysterious movement of tides can take bodies and conceal them for days. Jen’s work was a fascinating backdrop to the disappearance of local woman Claudia Franklin from the small town of Bourne. After two days with no sign of her, police divers are called to search the river – Jen included. However, Jen doesn’t disclose her family’s complicated relationship with the Franklins, or that where a member of the public has reported seeing something in the water is exactly where she woke up after sleepwalking.

Jen is intriguing and it was interesting to experience what could be seen as quite a macho job, from a woman’s perspective. Jen is definitely one of the boys, she doesn’t expect special treatment and even changes into her dive gear with the men, in the back of the van. There are also parts of the job where Jen has an advantage, she is a slimmer build and has smaller hands for tight spaces like drainage pipes. Jen’s also a mum and that makes such an interesting and varied job harder. She only has two people she can trust to step in and look after her little boy when she gets the call, her brother and her best friend. The men in her team just see her as one of them, but they can do the job they love without the mental load of running a household and arranging child care. Jen has to do both and I had some admiration for her courage and resilience, while never being completely sure of what she’s capable of. That ambiguity in Jen’s character, plus the strange unsolved nature of her sleepwalking left her so open to interpretation.

I found the best way of reading this story is not to try and solve things. I let it wash over me and when the twists happened, they were a revelation. From a slow start, the author did let the tension build beautifully, and the revelations don’t stop coming. What I loved was how the author kept our knowledge of the case within limits. Unlike some protagonists in crime fiction, Jen stays within her role. We only know what the police divers know and it kept us with the hard evidence rather than speculation. It brought authenticity to the case and we could be sure of what had happened, showing a depth of research into diving and forensics. In the background we are building up a picture of life in a small town, where everyone knows everyone else and pasts are intertwined and complicated. Having lived in a small Lincolnshire town since I was nine years old, I know how this works. I thought the author had created a great balance between the professional and the personal, the crime and the characters. Emotions of guilt, rivalry and obsession swirl around alongside the theme of protection, especially of those we love most. This is a story that slowly takes hold of you, it’s multiple strands like the weeds in a river that wind themselves around you and pull you under.

Published by Mountain Leopard Press 22nd June 2023

Meet the Author

For over ten years L V Matthews worked both in domestic and international sales for major UK publishing houses, before leaving to pursue a career in writing.

SILENT WATERS is her newest thriller novel (out July 2023)

THE TWINS was a Richard and Judy Bookclub pick.

Also available, Liv’s debut, THE PRANK.

Find Liv on:

Twitter @LV_matthews

Instagram @lv_matthews_author

Posted in Squad Pod Collective

The Good Daughter by Laure Van Rensburg

Posted on by thelotusreaders

Abigail is a proud member of the New America Baptist Church. A Christian community miles away from the nearest town in South Carolina, she is safe from the depraved modern world.

She is a good daughter. A valued member of the community.

So when she is the sole survivor of a fire that burns her family’s home to the ground, it seems like a tragic accident.

Until a surprising discovery is made: before the fire, Abigail let a stranger in.

Who was the stranger? What started the fire? And was the outside world always the threat – or did danger lurk within the community’s walls?

I became completely immersed in this fascinating story about faith and the complexities of memory while on holiday. Having spent part of my childhood in a church from the American Christian Fundamentalist tradition, I am always alert to the insidious nature of spiritual abuse and cultish techniques used to entrap converts in evangelical churches. The book opens with a death, immediately filling the reader with questions and drawing them into the story. A document tells us about the wreckage of the house, following a fire. From there the author tells her story in two parts: the present day and then back to three weeks before the fire happened. In between these two timelines there are more documents and discussions that work like ‘real life’ pieces of evidence. There are news reports, public comments and podcast transcripts, all working to verify the story and establish a factual perspective opposing the emotion and confusion of our narrator. The opening is dramatic and emotive, as we realise Abigail has lost her parents; Genevieve and Pastor John Heywood were discovered dead after the fire. Yet Abigail survived. Her parent’s congregation are secretly suspicious about Abigail and think she may have started the fire. The police are beginning to think the same, but what reason does Abigail have for doing something so awful? She’s always been a good girl, dutiful and obedient. Or is that just an act? We experience everything through Abigail and her mind is a complex and intense place to be. She felt like a real person to me very quickly.

Their neighbourhood, in a remote part of South Carolina, is entirely made up of New American Baptist church members. The church members, including Abigail’s family, live according to strict rules based on the Bible. They don’t mix with non-church members and have a domestic life where the man is the head of his household. He goes out into the world to provide for his family and the wife is the homemaker, looking after the house and their children according to the principles laid down by her husband. This is a philosophy I’m very familiar with and I remember, even from a young age, wondering how could I possibly defer to my husband if he happened to be a complete idiot? Abigail doesn’t question the religious rules that govern her life, but then she meets a stranger who changes everything. Summer comes to the community to interview church members for a podcast she’s making about the New American Baptist Church. She asks to interview Abigail. They are completely different in terms of life experience but a friendship starts to grow. It’s fascinating watching the changes in Abigail and her characterisation is excellent, as is that of Summer. She is a catalyst of so much and the storytelling is strong, but follows an unpredictable path. It’s a slow start, then as Summer arrives the story takes off and becomes the pacy and addictive psychological thriller I expected from this writer.

Laure Van Rensburg has taken a very sensitive, difficult subject and has managed it with a great deal of care and empathy. It’s hard to tell such a powerful story with the right amount of sensitivity, while also creating a gripping narrative that keeps readers turning the pages, but I think the author has managed that balance well. We’re taken deeper into life on the plantation with brilliant descriptive passages that create insight into the group. There’s a lot here that wasn’t weird to me, although I think it would be for most readers. If I say to people religious fundamentalism most people don’t really know what that means. I was taught to take every word in the Bible as the absolute truth: Noah built an ark, we all come from Adam and Eve and the world was created in 7 days. Every word comes direct from God with no room for interpretation, symbolism, or the historic period or culture it was written in. Years later, when studying literature at university, I was asked to consider the Bible as a book. I had to research how it was produced, when and by whom. It’s obvious why all books included in the New Testament are written by men. It became a written text in AD325 and powerful men decided what went in (at least that explains the prominence of St. Paul the misogynist). Emperor Constantine and a council of men had the final say, but when the reformation swept through Europe in the 16th Century there was a further split on the books included by the existing Roman Catholic Church and the newly formed Protestant belief system. It’s no wonder then, that the New Testament preaches female modesty and subservience; it suited the church and the men in control of it.

When you imagine that that belief system preached to you every Sunday, borne out by the way your home functions it’s clear to see the damage it can do to self-esteem and the way young women form relationships. That was certainly the case for me. It’s a potent recipe of coercive male control and dominance over women and I could feel a familiar conflict brewing within Abigail as she tries to follow the path forced upon her by both the religious group and all the families around her, but starts to wonder if there’s more. Of course the church is judged and treated with suspicion from outside the community, but there’s no room for questions inside. Questioning the status quo is seen as rebellion, a loss of faith or even a spiritual battle going on within the soul. However, as with all organisations, there are disturbing secrets that lies beneath. I will admit that this was difficult to read in parts, because it set off a chain of little light bulb moments for me. Although, I think it would be an emotional experience for any reader. There’s a creeping sinister feeling, but the increasing tension and twists in the tale keep you glued to the page. I came away feeling so many emotions, but mainly I was so angry, for Abigail and the other young women in the community. Of course some of that anger was for me and the other young women who grew up in my church, many of whom I’m in contact with and who, despite all of them leaving the church in their teens and twenties, are still affected by the experience and their internalisation of the church’s teachings. As Amber’s real memories began to appear I was hooked and had to know what had happened and how she was going to move forward.

I am so impressed by the level of research Laure Van Rensburg has done into this type of church and the sinister way it works. She has really captured the narrative that’s constructed, using the Bible to create an outmoded and illusory vision of the world. If you follow their teachings and actively apply them to your life, God will protect you and keep you safe. The loneliness felt by church members when something bad happens to them or their family is heart-breaking; I was told that my multiple sclerosis would be healed by prayer and when it wasn’t it couldn’t be a failure of God, or their prayer. It was my lack of faith. I found Laure’s writing absolutely mesmerising, the Newhaven community felt just as real as Abigail. I could see it vividly in my mind’s eye. Then when she allowed the outside world to encroach on the narrative it came as a shock, because you realise just how far these people are removed from modern society and even reality. Your mind will flit between whether Abigail is genuinely traumatised by the community and the terrible night of the fire, or whether she’s a psychologically astute and proficient liar. It has a slow start, but by the end I was questioning everything! For me, although it’s at the extreme end of experience in a church like this, the teachings and the coercion were no surprise at all. Most readers will be familiar with these but see them as the practices of cults or churches like the Latter Day Saints. I think they might be a lot more comfortable imagining this mistreatment of women is confined to religions like Islam. It will surprise a lot of readers to learn that a modern Christian church could be like this. They do exist, both here and in USA. As both the restriction of women’s rights over her own body and book banning is in progress now in some US states, the timing of this book is just right. It’s not much of a leap from here to The Handmaid’s Tale. I found this a disturbing, dark and addictively intense read that you really won’t want to put down.

Meet the Author

Laure Van Rensburg is a French writer living in the UK and an Ink Academy alumna. Her stories have appeared in online magazines and anthologies such as Litro Magazine, Storgy Magazine, The Real Jazz Baby (2020 Best Anthology, Saboteur Awards 2020), and FIVE:2:ONE. She has also placed in competitions including 2018 & 2019 Bath Short Story Award.

The Good Daughter is out now from Michael Joseph Books

Posted in Squad Pod Collective

Minor Disturbances at Grand Life Apartments by Hema Sukumar

Posted on by thelotusreaders

The Grand Life Apartments are a series of dwellings with beautiful garden surroundings in the coastal city of Chennai. It’s residents are varied and each one has their own sections to the story. Kamala is a dentist on the edge of retirement who counts down the days to her annual visit from daughter Lakshmi who is studying at Oxford University in the U.K. Her tendency towards religious offerings and a more traditional view on marriage and family, sometimes put her at loggerheads with Lakshmi. Revathi is 32 and a successful engineer who lives alone, something her mother never tires of reminding her is not normal. She is reaching her expiry date in the arranged marriage market. Reva likes her freedom and has entertained thoughts that maybe not everyone is cut out for marriage and a family, but hasn’t dared tell her mother who is setting up her latest ‘introduction’. Then there is Jason, a young British chef who has impulsively decided to work at an exclusive hotel in Chennai. He has been driven from his London home by an awful break-up that he’s struggling to get over. In the meantime he is making friends with his neighbours and helping out Mani, the owner of the apartments. Mani is facing his own struggle though. A developer offered him a sum of money for the apartments, planning to level them and their gardens so they can extend their luxury apartment blocks across the street. Mani refused their offer, setting off a dangerous and dramatic series of events that will bring the residents together.

I thoroughly enjoyed this slice of life in Chennai, narrated by the the various inhabitants of Grand Life Apartments. I feared a sanitised setting, rather like the The Great Exotic Marigold Hotel’s beautifying of India. However, here the author manages a great balance of being honest about the difficulties of India, whilst also showing it’s warm welcome and sense of family and community. She also showed how travelling or working in the city could sustain someone and take them on an uplifting and life changing journey. A setting with this dichotomy of incredible positives versus the difficulties of corruption and poverty, is very difficult to write in a light-hearted novel. It takes serious skill and I was surprised to find it was a debut novel. It was no surprise to learn that Hema had been a travel writer, because when reading I did feel like I was there. This wasn’t the tourist route either, but real people living and working in the heat and smog of the city. The heat comes across strongly (possibly more to do with my menopause when I think about it) and the dust laying over everything. There was a great mix of things that are comforting and welcoming, but other stories and mentions that reinforced the foreignness of India. These momentary snippets of Indian daily life were brilliant, I loved Jason Skyping his mum who was terrified to see a lizard walking up the wall of his living room! ‘Oh that’s just Lizzie the Lizard’. The apartment’s beautiful gardens are a wonderful touch of old and new, as well as the place where residents tend to come together. It’s a unifying force for the residents and allows young and old to come together – such as on Kamala’s birthday where a power cut and Jason’s rice pudding are central to the impromptu celebration.

This is a book where the characters are really important, because the story comes out of their relationships and personality. Kamala’s daughter Lakshmi comes to stay and with incredible bravery shares a secret about her life that she knows will shock and possibly disappoint her traditional and religious mother. I loved the detail of Kamala’s life, the descriptions of her spice filled cooking and the rituals of her worship at her homemade shrine, with the flowers she buys to accompany her prayers. There’s a solidity about Kamala, she knows who she is and what she believes. Now her thoughts on life are being challenged and she’s having to step out of her comfort zone and let go of the things she expected for her life. I loved the scenes with her friend Sundu (a formidable woman and lawyer) when they come to England. Sundu forces Kamala into trainers on their trip to London and is often amused by her rather blinkered view of the world. The scene with the group of young men on a corner and Kamala’s observation that they smelled of a spice she’d never encountered before, made me laugh out loud.

I felt something for Reva, a connection of some sort although I couldn’t pinpoint why. The way Reva wants to be really does rub up against cultural and familial expectations in her personal life, whilst also coming up against the patriarchy at work. She’s an engineer who knows her own talent and ability to manage a team, but she finds her experience and ability overlooked by management. She’s thinking of moving to another company if they choose to promote a man over her this time, but is she too old to start again or choose a start-up company? She’s contemplating the same risk in her personal life. The pressure she feels from her mother, who doubts her prospects on the marriage market as a woman in her thirties, means she meets men that her mother has arranged. We see her on these ‘dates’ and she does meet nice men, but is ‘nice’ enough? Her mother can’t control Reva’s inner voice and it tells her to hold out for a love match. She knows it’s a risk, but what would happen if she didn’t find love? She would live the life she lives now: working, meeting friends, socialising with her neighbours and checking in on the older residents like Mani and Kamala. Would that be so bad? Does her freedom mean that much to her?

Finally there’s Jason and he has the part of an Englishman abroad. He’s an incredibly sensitive man who has come to Chennai on an impulse to avoid heartbreak at home. His relationship with Elizabeth came to an abrupt end and he’s facing that period of ruminating on the state of their relationship. He was imagining marriage, possibly a family and he thought they were on the same page. Clearly she wasn’t, so was she tricking him or was he simply so caught up in his own expectations he never noticed that she was lagging some way behind. He does spend time checking her social media profiles, dreading but knowing that eventually he will see a hand on her shoulder or a grinning face next to hers. However, when the news comes, it’s nothing he expected and he feels sick. It feels like a betrayal. I was desperately holding out hope that Jason would blossom in Chennai and I loved reading tiny steps towards this. His relationship with Kamala is based on food, she wants him to experience real South Indian food and he desperately wants to impress her. She feels like a grandmother figure to him and he’s so respectful of her. His relationship with Mani is great too and I loved how he helped with the garden, understanding how important it is to Mani and his memories, but also making small changes that help it sustain the lives of the people currently living at the flats. I was more than a little bit desperate for him to forget his heartbreak and maybe spend time with someone a little closer to his new home.

The corruption seen in the building company plot line isn’t the only real or gritty bit of the tale. Begging comes up a few times and Reva thinks about women who fall foul of the social rules and can find themselves drowned in the village pond! There’s also a young boy who rushes around delivering from the local store and has a manner like a little old man. It was great to have this edge because it made India feel real, rather than a Disneyfied version. I found the book, especially Jason and Reva’s journeys, really inspiring. They’ve both made big choices in life – to go away to university, to become a chef, to fly to the other side of the world even! I loved the way Jason was learning a new skill, with Kamala’s advice and making steps towards moving forward in life, by getting rid of his social media. Could they perhaps move forward towards each other? I kept hoping. I had visions of their setting as the perfect haveli with a stone courtyard, beautifully scented climbers and water feature at the centre with just the right trickling sound. I was scared for Mani and not just because the developer’s threatening behaviour worsened. With all of his memories tied up in these apartments, it would be an emotional upheaval for him to leave. I was left with some questions unanswered and I hope this means a sequel might be in the pipeline. I wondered: where Jason and Reva’s lives might go; how Lakshmi might build her life, knowing how much her mum is trying to understand; would Sundu be able to save the apartments? I was deeply invested in these characters and their journeys. The author engaged my senses and my emotions in her debut novel, so much so that I’m already waiting for what comes next.

Out now from Coronet Books.

Book blogger problems No 1: Nosy cats 🐈
Posted in Squad Pod Collective

Tiny Pieces of Enid by Tim Ewins

Posted on by thelotusreaders

I was so emotionally invested in this deeply moving story, written with such care and empathy for the characters, but also the people who are going through similar experiences in real life. I would also suggest hankies or tissues, a big bar of chocolate and a cat to cuddle. This is an incredible read – but you will cry, in fact if you don’t there’s probably something wrong with you. Our heroine Enid has had a stroke and also has a diagnosis of dementia. She has aphasia causing problems with comprehension and formulation of words. Often, people with aphasia know what they want to say, but find something stops them expressing it. Having looked after people who’ve had a stroke I know it is one of the most frustrating neurological symptoms someone can have. The author has set the book inside Enid’s brain – we learn that she’s not completely senile, in fact she has moments of incredible clarity and is often witty, with a great sense of humour. However, she is forgetful and shows a lot of frustration about her lot. Enid has lived with husband Roy for many years, but after another incident at home their daughter Barb has to make a horrible decision. She decides her mum would be better in a specialist nursing home, but this means separating her from her beloved husband. Enid believes that this is a temporary separation and that soon Roy will come live with her in the nursing home. Meanwhile Roy is trying to cope alone, missing his wife terribly but having to plod on without her.

In the home Enid meets Olivia, a young mum who frequently visits another resident and they have an affinity. While they might seem to be very different on the surface, they connect on a deep emotional level. Every time Olivia visits, Enid is reminded of her first marriage and the memories are painful. Enid’s husband was violent and she can see that Olivia’s husband is also a very angry man. She wants to help, to explain that she doesn’t have to stay with him, that there is happiness beyond here. The fact that Olivia and Enid become friends, despite all of Enid’s challenges is so important because Enid’s life experience could help Olivia make a definitive decision. To save her own life. Their experience shows that friendship comes in so many forms and we shouldn’t make snap judgements about who can bring something meaningful to our lives. It made me think of an observation I made a long time ago, when someone has a long term illness their life doesn’t stop at the time of diagnosis. Some people seem to think that an unwell person steps out of life, has treatment, then comes back when they’re cured but it isn’t so. There are so many of us out here, like Enid, living with an illness and even if our lives look different they’re still meaningful and worthwhile.

When Enid isn’t watching life pass by she’s remembering, it’s like her own personal movie running behind her eyes. She sees Roy, from their earlier life together and when they’re falling in love after the trauma of her first marriage. There’s her old home and her daughter Barb who was fascinated with birds, her Tom Jones & Elvis records waiting to be played. She then remembers a scar she has on her forehead. When was that from? It feels like another life. Then she’s back with Roy. Remembering their love story. Roy is her best friend.

The way the author has constructed Enid’s inner world is brilliant. All the information is there, but it’s fractured and complicated. It isn’t always there when she needs it. She’s a time traveller, not present in the moment but enjoying her early years with Roy. Then she’s with a little girl, her daughter. These memories are so clear, but the moments of lucidity are so fleeting and we’re aware that eventually they may disappear altogether. I’ve worked in a dementia unit and every week I would push one of our residents down through the village to the home he’d shared with his wife. He seemed to have no idea where we were, he was rarely, fully in the room. Mostly we would do jigsaws and he would try to wipe his nose on my cardigan. One day we were sat with his wife in the kitchen and I was helping him with his cup of tea when he looked over at her. Then he looked at me and said ‘I don’t know who this lady is, but isn’t she kind? I like her’. It made me cry that they had a whole history that he couldn’t recall, but in that moment he knew she was special. There was a little glimmer of feeling. It’s hard to live separately from someone you’ve had a life with, especially when the relationship hasn’t ended. You’re living like a single person again and while you can always visit your partner (and appreciate the respite from being a full time carer) there are parts of that person you miss. The tragedy is you didn’t need to separate from the person, just their condition. So it was easy to understand Roy’s decline without Enid, he’s lost the shared jokes, the conversational shorthand and that sense of it being the two of them against the world. Although Enid is safe, part of Roy will wish she was still at home with him. I would imagine he must miss her sense of mischief more than anything. Enid will try anything to be with Roy again, and she relies on an imaginary parrot to help her.

Tim Ewins has written a really special book with such fully rounded characters who have busy inner lives, including Enid. I have a long-term illness and it’s great to read a writer who understands that journey and shows how rich our lives can be, even if they are different. My late husband had the same illness as me and this book reminded me of the snatched moments we spent together between carers, district nurses, palliative stays and hospital admissions. Despite all of that ‘stuff’ no one could take away that connection we had and some of my happiest memories were in those snatched moments; the tiny pieces of life that Enid remembers might seem commonplace, but they are the very moments I’ve treasured and remembered ever since. This is a special book, written with such heart and compassion.

Meet The Author

Tim has enjoyed an eight-year stand-up career alongside his accidental career in finance.

He has previously written for DNA Mumbai, had two short stories highly commended and published in Michael Terence Short Story Anthologies, and enjoyed a very brief acting stint (he’s in that film Bronson, somewhere in the background). We Are Animals is his first novel.

When not writing, he enjoys travel, reading (of course), cycling and spending time with his wife, son and dog in Bristol. Follow him on Instagram @timewins and @quickbooksummaries where he writes inaccurate but humorous book reviews.